Leia was alone.

There was no one left that she loved. Except Chewie of course. Images of her lost ones constantly circulated through her head making it impossible for her to think of anything else. Han. Luke. Ben. They were all gone. Gone, gone, gone.

Leia had been in love with Han ever since he'd first referred to her as "Your Worship". It had taken her much too long to identify her affections as love. She had said it before she knew it. At Cloud City when Lando had betrayed them to Vader. As Han was lowered into the carbon freezer it had leapt from her lips, "I love you.'' He met her eyes, "I know.'' Leia had thought she lost him then. But Han survived the freeze and was shipped to Jabba the Hut. She, Leia, had saved him, telling him once again of her love. That was all before she knew Luke was her brother. Leia had feelings for Luke, he and Han somewhat competing for her affection. When Luke told her they were twins she instantly knew it it was true. She also knew that even if they weren't, she'd choose Han. Before Han had known Leia and Luke were twins he had basically told the former that she could have Luke if it made her happier. Leia remembered how excited Han had been when she had announced her pregnancy to him. The gentlest she'd ever seen Han was the first time he held tiny Ben Solo. The closest she'd ever seen him to tears was when they received word Ben had turned to the Dark Side. And then Han left with Chewie. Years later, Han returned. Leia asked him to bring Ben home to her. Han tried. And Ben killed him. Han was defenseless and his son run him through with a lightsaber. It was cold blood murder, Leia knew. She had felt Han's heart stop beating. It left a hole in her own heart. He was gone.

Luke was Leia's twin brother. They hadn't grown up together, but as young adults they'd made up for lost time. Luke had gone to great lengths to rescue her from the Death Star. At first, Leia had wanted to be more than friends with him. But it was never more than an adolescent crush. Luke was training under Jedi Master Yoda and she was leading a rebellion. It was a great relief to Leia when Luke told her they were siblings. Luke had supported Han and Leia's marriage and was almost as excited as they were when Ben was born. Leia pushed away every thought of Luke after that. She hadn't seen him for years. In fact, the last time she had actually seen him was when he left to train Ben. Luke had sort of appeared to her before facing Ben one last time. Then his presence vanished. He was gone.

Ben was Leia's only child. She had bore him within her nine months, then brought him into the galaxy. His childhood had been a happy one. Listening to C-3PO's stories, trailing after R2-D2, playing with Chewie, following Han pretty much everywhere, and watching Luke with fascination. Leia vividly remembered laying him down to sleep every night for nearly a decade. That was when the mother and son had most of their private conversations which were currently to painful for Leia to recollect. But she would never forget the softness in Ben's dark eyes when he told her he loved her every night. Then Luke had recognized "potential'' in the young boy. The rest was history. He was gone.

Leia closed her eyes. It had been almost a week since the battle on Crait where young Rey had flown in on the Millennium Falcon and rescued the remnants of the Resistance. The shell-shocked fighters had taken several hours to get over the turn of events. They sought refuge on the planet Takodana were Maz Kanata offered them boarding until they came up with a plan. Maz was a good friend of Han and Chewie and was delighted to see the latter. She referred to the Wookiee as her "boyfriend" which amused Leia. Maz was also something of a therapist for the rather traumatized Resistance fighters. Leia was extremely grateful for her.

Leia wished she could give their hostess an estimate of how long they would be staying. But the Resistance had not come up with a solid plan. No one was really trying, anyway. Too many lives had been lost lately. Still, their residency was a source of anxiety for the General. If the First Order found out they were on Takodana. . . It had been bad enough when Maz's palace had been destroyed when the First Order was looking for the map of Luke Skywalker and been led to the droid BB-8, who was carrying it. The beautiful palace had only just been rebuilt; Leia would hate for it to be demolished once again on the Resistance's account. And she knew her son was looking for them.

Leia had been given her own private bedroom in the palace. It was small, but comfortable. The walls and floor were stone like the rest of the building. The bed was supported by wooden posts, simple, but elegant in design. Out of the same wood was a small table. There was a single window that gave a grand view of the luscious green landscape.

Her eyes drifted to the golden dice on the small table. Luke had given them to her before he fought Ben. They were the dice Han had played with when he won the Falcon. The only thing she had to remember him by.

A knock sounded at the door. Leia opened her eyes. She assumed some fighter had a plan and wanted her approval. Leia stood up from were she had been sitting on the bed. She took a moment to compose herself, straightening her robe, and called, "Come in.''

The door creaked open. A young man stepped in. Leia knew him well.

"Captain Dameron,'' she greeted him. "Please come in.''

Poe Dameron dipped his head slightly and shut the door behind him. Leia noticed he looked uncomfortable. His dark eyes were downcast and was fidgeting slightly.

"So,'' said Leia, "have you a proposition? What sort of plan have you young rebels come up with now?'' Leia had meant it to sound playful to lighten the mood, but it came out accusative. Poe winced sightly.

"Uh, no, actually. I just. . . I thought. . .'' Poe struggled for the right words. Leia had never seen him behave this way before. He usually had plenty to say and held nothing back, even when he should. Leia waited for several moments before the young pilot continued.

"I never formally—or at all, really—apologized for what I did. . .back there.'' Poe lifted his gaze, making eye-contact with her. "I'm sorry.''

Whatever Leia had been expecting from the pilot it was not a humble apology. She motioned to him. "Come sit down.''

Leia sat back down on her bed. Poe joined her, looking awkward and ashamed. When they both were situated, Leia asked, "When you say 'back there' what exactly do you mean?'' She knew the answer but she wanted to hear it coming from Dameron. She figured it would help him to voice his thoughts.

Poe ran his hands through his hair making it stand on end even more than usual. "I mean disobeying direct orders. It got a lot of good pilots killed. . . It was my fault. I guess I thought that we—I—could do it. I was wrong.'' His voice choked, but he continued. "Then I started a mutiny against Vice Admiral Holdo because I didn't think she was doing enough. I thought she was leading us all to out deaths. Yet the only life lost was her own. She probably died thinking I was jerk.'' He closed his eyes, bowing his head. "And she was right.''

They say in silence. Leia was touched by Poe's sudden humility. She gently picked up his hand. His eyes opened, full of remorse. "It is true you disobeyed orders from your General. And, yes, it got many people killed. But you thought you were doing the right thing. You thought that in disobeying me you could save the Resistance. All things considered you might have. And how were you to know it would kill the whole squad?''

Poe seemed to consider this. "If I would have known they were going to die, I would have never—"

"Exactly,'' Leia said. "As for the mutiny, you thought Holdo was a traitor. You thought wrong, very wrong, but you didn't know. And you weren't the only one to think so.'' She added softly. "Amilyn never thought you were a jerk. She understood you. She knew she had to do what she had to do and you had to do what you had to do.''

Poe wiped his eyes. "Does she have any family?''

Leia shook her head. "Not that I'm aware of.''

"All the fighters that died. . . I want to apologize to their families. Explain what happened, offer help.''

Leia nodded. "That's a good idea.'' She knew how it felt to have someone's blood on your hands, even if it wasn't a direct kill.

"I don't think any of the fallen have family in the active Resistance,'' said Poe. "Except Rose Tico.''

A smile played on Leia's lips. "Finn's friend.''

Amusement sparked in his dark eyes. "Yes. Finn's friend.'' It disappeared at quickly as it came. "She wears a medallion around her neck. I think it matched the one Paige, her sister, had. Every time I see I feel guilty.''

Leia reached out and touched the ring hanging from Poe's neck. "I can understand that.'' She recognized it as Shara Bey's wedding ring. Poe Dameron's mother. She had died protecting Leia. Shara's ring was a constant reminder.

Poe fingered it. "I didn't mean for it to be like that. She gave it to me before she left and I keep it around my neck so I don't lose it.''

"Rose doesn't wear her medallion to make you feel guilty either,'' Leia pointed out.

"I guess,'' Poe murmured. "When Mom died you wrote Dad and I a letter of condolence. I should probably talk to Rose.''

"I think that'd be nice,'' Leia told him. The bed creaked as she folded him in an embrace. She had grown very fond of the trigger-happy pilot. Maybe there were some people left that she loved. "It's going to be alright.'' And at that moment, she believed it would.