Hey, there. Me again! Well, I was majorly bored and decided to start writing a totally-new... thingy. Yeah, I know, the second part of "Teletubbies, England and I" should be up... orz but I lost the whole thing and I'm writing in from scratch again. Gee, thanks, computer. I don't own Hetalia, I'm just taking them out of my toy box for a while to play with them.
This doesn't really have any plot, actually. I'm trying to get better at getting the other countries in character, so... yeah. I guess it'll mostly be fluffy and character-y and freaking weird. I dunno. But yeah. There'll be loads of pairings. Loads. Not even kidding.
I think I'm gonna try and make it multi-chaptered, but because I'm an ENFP, I probably won't stick to it. I'm sorry! ;-; It's just the way I am.
Ah, and also: Thank you, you're all absolute peaches!
This World conference was...
"Honhonhon~ Everyone is here, oui?" France, being his ever-dramatic self, flicked some hair from out of his eyes.
"Yep, I checked!" America said, all American-like. He flashed the group a thousand-watt grin and fist-pumped the air like a hero. "I made sure that everyone attended, dude! Because I'm awesome like that. Awww yeah."
"Brilliant. Thank you, America, for your hard work," England scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest and huffing. "Now, any ideas as to what we're going to do while we're all here? We could talk about our problems but we usually end up hurting each other..."
France grinned and somehow, started to sparkle. "Ah, I have an idea~" His eyes had a strange glint to them, and all the nations knew that was never a good sign. Whenever France had a glint in his eyes, it either ended up with the countries doing something they really never, ever, wanted to do, or with him huddled in a corner, crying. Don't tell anybody, but, ost of the times it was the latter.
Not that he would admit it, anyway. (There was just "Something in my eyes, okay?!")
"No, Francis. We're not having a massive orgy." That was England, by the way. He sent a glare in the Frenchman's general direction, and the two battled in an epic staring competition. Even some uber-cool battling music started to play from somewhere. Nobody paid much mind to them, though. They did that pretty often.
"Ah. That's a shame. It'd be something to do besides watching you fight." Greece piped up rather lazily. He watched the other countries fight with half-lidded eyes, quietly amused at their antics as he stroked one of the many cats surrounding him. Heads turned towards him, it was rare to see him awake, let alone talking.
France then proceeded to smirk at the Greek and high-five him. England rolled his eyes.
"Heh. I wouldn't expect anything less from the country with the highest sex rate," Iggy commented, tsk-ing. "You and France would get along splendidly." Greece just chuckled and shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck rather sheepishly.
"Hey, Greece?" Asked/yelled the boisterous American as he tilted his head. "Why do you own so many cats, anyways? They're always following you around and shit, it's pretty cool. It's like you have an army or something. Yeah! An army of cats. Damn, that sounds totally badass, yo! I am so buying an army of cats off eBay."
Greece raised a brow, a grin tugging at his lips. America was sometimes so strange. "I'm not too sure, Αμερική," he admitted, calling the American by his name in his mother tongue. "I just get a lot of pussy, that's all."
America snickered. "Pfft. Nice one, dude."
"You don't know how long I've waited to use that line." He winked and then went back to sleeping in that adorable way of his.
America then made his rare thinking-face. "Hm. If Greece has cats following him around all the time because he gets heaps of pussy, how come England doesn't have chickens following him around?"
England positively glowed. His cheeks felt like they were on fire. "Oi, you brat! What's that supposed to mean?" He had a feeling he knew, but for the American's sake, he gave him the benefit of the doubt.
Australia, being the ever-helpful country that he is, decided to put in his two cents. "Mate, he's saying that you get buckets of cock." England grit his teeth.
There was an awkward silence for a minute. Well, of course there would be an awkward silence. They were all probably picturing that lovely mental image, of England getting 'buckets' of cock. Oh, Australia. We love you so.
"Kesesese~ You really shouldn't have smoked crack vhile you vere bringing up your kids, England." The Albino was laughing his pale arse off.
"Shut up, you!" The Englishman was so flustered, and everyone knew it. "I brought up my colonies just fine, thank you! A-and at least I don't get sunburn watching fireworks, Edward Cullen!"
"..." A pause. Not even Prussia's cocky laughing could be heard. Then, "you read the Twilight books?"
"Oh, that is it!" In a dramatic flurry, England got up, off of his chair and made his way to where Prussia was sitting. The two started to fight, pulling at hair and calling each other names.
"Iggybrows!" Gilbert called, ducking as Arthur swung a punch. He'd gotten that one from America.
"Lobster!"
"Chewbacca!" England pouted, which was a rare sight.
They both halted. What?
"I don't even have that much body hair!"
"Ja, because it all goes to your eyebrows!"
During all this, Canada was, unfortunately, between the two. They started to brawl, and he'd finally had enough.
"..Eh!" He squeaked, shielding himself from the total hosers above him. "G-guys, h-how about we settle this n-nice and easy, without hurting one another?" Nobody responded, not even Kuma-gigi-tichi-kiki-something. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Guys?" It wasn't much louder, but it was something. Gilbert and Arthur stopped fighting for a second, looking around for the owner of the voice.
"Woah, Birdie? Vhen did you get here?" Canada sweatdropped. If he had a penny for every time he heard that...
"I was here the whole time!" He exclaimed, exasperated and to be honest – a little hurt. "You even said hello to me when we all first came in!"
"That vas you? I thought vas talking to a floating polar bear!"
"Right, because everyone would come to the conclusion that, instead of conversing with the representation of North America, they were greeting a floating polar bear."
"Ja."
"I think that vas meant to be a rhetorical question, bruder." Germany imputed, watching his brother and Canada communicate.
The American butted in playfully, once more. "Thanks for that, Captain Obvious." Making a mock salute, he chuckled. Germany made an awkward half-smile. It actually looked quite dashing on him, in truth.
"Can you all just shut up?!" Romano growled, slamming his head down onto the desk into his folded arms. "Why did I even come to this? Dammit, this is the last time I let you take me anywhere, Fratello."
"Romano!" The other Italy whined, "I just wanted you to get out some more!"
"Peh! And look what good it's done. Now all I'll be going home with is a headache." Scowling, he glowered at the Spaniard eyeing him from afar. "And don't think I can't see you, tomato-bastard! You're not going to grope me like last time."
Spain wasn't even fazed. That sunny smile of his kept in place. "Are you sure about that, little Roma? Your body says otherwise~"
"My body is telling you to fuck off."
Spain hummed cheerfully. "Hm, I think your mouth would be better at something other than swearing and yelling and everyone, Romano."
"Oh yeah? Like what, bastard?" Wrong move, Romano.
"Perhaps getting down on your knees and sucking me o–"
"Gah! Forget I asked!"
And while all this was happening, the other countries were watching, some amused and some not, some blushing profusely.
Okay, fine. There was only one blushing profusely. Try and guess. I'm sure y'all already know, anyway. Yep. It was Japan. It just so happened that he was listening into this conversation.
Boy, was that a big mistake. He'd never blushed so hard in his entire life. And that's saying something!
Hiding his face into his hands, he shuddered as North Italy poked his cheek.
"Ve~?" Feliciano ve'd, poking him once more. "Japan, are you okay?" When there was no reply, his eyes widened to this size of dinner plates. 'Germany! Germany! Something's wrong with Japan!"
Germany sighed and rubbed his temples. "He is fine, Italy. Leave him." This only made him pout.
"But... but..."
"I know. Leave him." Germany repeated. North Italy just shrugged and got back to whatever he was doing. Probably making an origami bowl of pasta from the meeting's notes or something.
"Hey, dudes! This isn't going anywhere, so... party at my place! Woo! Everyone's invited. Swiss, just don't bring your guns like last time. You really scared the shit out of the Mario Brothers." Well, that escalated quickly. Leave it to America to disregard everything and just throw a spontaneous party.
Switzerland nodded and chuckled, while Romano scowled. "Chigi!" Romano snapped, face going a charming red colour. "One, I did not get scared. And two, I am not a Mario Brother, bastard!"
Alfred laughed. "Sure, sure. If you weren't scared then how come you were attached to me for the rest of the night, asking me to protect you?"
Southern Italy gasped. "You said you weren't going to tell anyone that, bastard!" Angrily whispering, he flicked a pen at the American's head.
"Am I invited to party too?" Russia asked, cutting in before America could say something ridiculously stupid, causing Romano to have a fit. He'd been quiet for quite a while, just watching the other countries bicker. It pleased him. It reminded him of his country.
" 'Course ya are," said America, who beamed like a little kid. "Just try and keep your creepy sister under control, yeah? Last time she stole your underpants after you passed out."
Belarus growled from the seat next to Russia's. "You are lucky I do not have my poison with me today, fool."
America's eye twitched slightly. "U-uh. See y'all at my place! And China, it'd be great if you could bring some of your awesome food!"
China, brightening up and proud of being mentioned, grinned. "Of course, aru!"
"Hoho, can I –"
"No, France. You cannot bring your bloody sex toys for us to 'sample', like last time." England swatted him upside the head and France continued to smirk.
... the same as always, to put it simply.
But of course, they wouldn't have wanted to have it any other way.
Oh, and another thing: I love all the countries. Seriously. I really didn't mean to offend anyone. S'all for fun! It was mostly dialogue, because... I don't know. It's fun picking on them :D You can request pairings, if you'd like. It'd do my best to incorporate them into the next chapter.
