A/N

I took a cough medicine induced nap today and I had a dream about Twilight. I remember t Bella saying how different Halloween was since she knew that "monsters" were real. So I immediately started to write this. It is all in fun. Enjoy!

I own nothing but the direction of this story. The rest is all Stephanie Meyers and the cough medicine's fault.

BPOV

I always liked Halloween. It wasn't a holiday filled with the thought of family and who I would spend it with. It was a just for fun day, to dress up and spend with friends. Trick or treating when younger, then parties when older. Cheesy scary movies to creep us out, and bowls of gooey gross stuff that feel like body parts when you are blind folded. Oh yea, not to mention the classic songs, including my favorites Purple People Eater, The Monster Mash, and Love Potion Number 9.

"I hope you know that you have completely ruined Halloween for me." I said sullenly, dropping to the couch. There was complete silence following my statement.

It isn't often that I get no reaction from anyone in this house and I am going to enjoy the moment I thought. Then Emmett ruined my moment. Figures.

"What do you mean, Bella? How have we ruined Halloween?"

I looked over to where Emmett sat at the table with Rosalie and Alice making a…wait what was that? It looked like they were sorting candy at the table.

"What are you doing?" I asked staring at the table.

"Bella, I asked you a question first. If you want an answer then spit it out, exactly how did we ruin Halloween? "

"Emmett, I wasn't necessarily speaking to you, I was talking to Edward." I said hoping to appease him since I really wanted to know what they were doing.

"Love, we did no such thing. You just have a warped since of the macabre." Edward really needs to not talk so much. Sometimes he makes my head ache with the ridiculous antiquated things he says.

"Eddie, care to explain to the rest of us what she means?" Rosalie said. Edward growled in response.

I was a bit impressed since this was said without a bit of her usual dripping, loathing, sarcastic voice. It seemed to me that she was actually concentrating on what she and Alice and Emmett were doing, and forgot to be her usual self around me.

Alice sensing my confusion said, "Never mind, I know what she means. We have done nothing to ruin Halloween Bella, and quite frankly it hurts my feelings to think you blame us for that."

"Why have you hurt my wife's feelings Bella? And what exactly are you blaming us for?" Jasper asked in his dramatic southern drawl that appears when he is slightly annoyed. I looked up at him and Carlisle as they walked into the room, followed by Esme.

"Bella my dear, what is wrong?" Esme, always concerned with my feelings, asked as she joined me on the couch.

"Bella thinks we ruined Halloween for her. US, as in WE, as in EVERYONE here." Emmett stood up from the table and walked over to stand in front of me as he was talking. "Really Bella, you shouldn't have said that" and before I knew it I was up in the air over his shoulder and flying around in circles.

"Tell me we didn't ruin Halloween, tell me Bella and I will put you down…" I had to snap my eyes shut because doing anything at vampire speed made me extremely dizzy and lightheaded. That, combined with my own natural lack of balance, made it 10 times worse. I seriously had to concentrate to not hurl all over his back, even though he deserved it.

"Emmett, put her down. She is going to vomit all over you." Edward sounded bored, not concerned. Traitor.

I forced myself to speak, hoping I could do it without puking. "Emmet. Down. NOW."

"You are no fun Bella. Rosie can do this for hours and never backs down."

"Emmett, I am a vampire and Bella is so not. Don't compare her to me please."

"Rosie, wanna go? I'm feeling a bit like Tarzan right now, wanna be my Jane?" Emmett put me down unceremoniously in Edwards lap while he was goading Rosalie.

Edward whispered, "Are you ok, love?" into my ear while I concentrated on taking deep, even breaths. I was unable to nod because it just might have thrown me over the edge and I did not want to puke. I just sort of grunted yes while he rubbed my back in tender, soothing circles.

After a few seconds, I looked up to the table where Rosalie was doing her best to ignore Emmett, and Jasper and Alice were examining something in front of them. I managed to clear my head enough to say, "Jasper, I wasn't trying to hurt Alice's feelings."

He looked up, met my eyes, grinned and said, "I know Bella, she was just teasing you. She was putting out an amused vibe when I walked in". I took a moment to listen to him since he very rarely spoke directly to me, and he had such a fantastic drawl.

"Bella," Alice said from the table, "Why don't you tell us what you meant before?"

"Ok, but in a minute. Really, what are you making?"

"It's a haunted candy house, what does it look like?" Emmett said, always the right to the point man.

"It doesn't look like anything yet, which is why I asked."

"Bella, Bella, Bella…I thought Halloween was your favorite holiday, and you don't even know what a Haunted Candy House is? Edward, where did you find this poser?"

"Emmett," Edward growled, at least that got a response from him.

"Poser? Really Emmett? How many times have you been to college? Poser is the best you can do?" I asked. Really, it was perfectly in line with his personality, and sort of funny. But a big, strapping, 90-year-old vampire calling you a poser is a bit on the ridiculous side.

"Talk to me when you go to college at least once Bella." Emmett sounded a bit offended. After what he just did, I didn't feel too guilty for picking on him, mostly anyway.

"She is sorry Emmett, and feeling guilty for hurting your delicate sensibilities." Jasper piped up.

I looked at him and gasped. "What? Who said that?"

"Sorry Bella, I gotta call 'em as I feel 'em…"

"Fine. Emmett, I didn't mean to hurt your…" I was cut off by Edward.

"Bella, please tell us why you think we ruined Halloween for you. If I could hear your thoughts, it would make this so much easier."

"Alright. Before I moved to Forks I was blissfully unaware that anything in the world of scare was actually real. As far as I knew, Vampires and Werewolves were just a thing born of books and legends. Things that went bump in the night were just stories. Urban Legends based entirely on someone's overactive imagination." Edward shook his head at me. He didn't even have to say a word; I could hear what he was thinking as clear as if he were actually talking.

"I am not being ridiculous Edward." He balked at that guiltily. I knew that was what he was thinking…he might not be the only mind reader after all.

Emmett, never one to let things lie, said, "Bella why aren't you having this conversation with Jake and that pack of dogs at the reservation? We might be vampires but they are much scarier to think about. They actually sprout hair…at the full moon….and walk on four legs. Two legs to four legs. That is regression. R-E-G-R-E-S-S-I-O-N. Look it up. I learned that in C-O-L-L-E-G-E. It means going backwards." Emmet started laughing, but was cut off by a dual slap to the back of his head from Rosalie and Alice. Carlisle and Jasper snickered a bit, but covered it by coughing. I wasn't quite sure if their laugh was from Emmett's tirade or from the "stereo" slap received from the girls.

"They don't only do that at the full moon, brainiac. It can happen any time. AND I am grouping them into the whole ruined-my-favorite-holiday category for $2000 Alex. Thank you very much."

"Good one Bella, two points for the sarcasm" Emmett sounded impressed.

"I really think that you are blowing this whole ruining-my-holiday thing out of proportion my dear," Edward said in a slightly amused tone. He clearly liked my snarky comment too.

"After all we ARE responsible for the myths associated with vampires. Self-preservation and all," Carlisle, always the voice of reason, said.

"Bella my dear, would you like to help with the haunted candy house? I knew you would love it when we saw one last week while shopping in Olympia," Esme said with a smile on her face.

I got up from Edwards lap and went to walk to the table. I was a bit wobbly and managed to trip sideways. Sideways! Who does that? I was caught by Edward (thank god for vampire speed) who patted me on my head and set me down at the table. I managed a slight thank-you smirk before I turned my attention to the house.

Alice moved her chair closer to mine and whispered, "We didn't really ruin your holiday, did we?"

I shook my head and whispered back, "No, but I can't watch vampire movies anymore, and 'Salems Lot was one of my Halloween favorites."

"'Salems Lot Bella? 'Salems Lot? You just lost major points with me for that one. Vampires don't hover, and we definitely do not have fangs. Geez Bella, I think you're ruining Halloween for me," Emmett bellowed from the couch. (Vampire hearing is so sensitive). He was muttering something under his breath about vampire knockoffs when Alice and Rosalie started to laugh. Jasper and Edward joined in a moment later, followed by Carlisle and Esme. Apparently, they all found this extremely funny.

"Bella, the monsters in your imagination are still there," said Edward after a moment. "As far as we know there is no real Frankenstein or Bride of Frankenstein. No Swamp Thing, or even a Creature from the Black Lagoon. No Zombies or The Blob or Giant Tarantulas or Ants or Killer Tomatoes or even Incredible Shrinking People. And Hellboy is just a comic book, not a real character." He barely managed to get that out without laughing, evidenced by the smirk he was trying to hold back.

"You really can't use vampire and werewolves being real as an excuse for your Halloween being ruined. It's a weak reason Bella. So let's finish up this candy house. I think we should go out to the movies tomorrow and see what ever scary flick the cinema is hosting. Maybe we can find a new monster to satisfy you." Jasper decided that was the end to the conversation about Halloween.

"Fine, but for the record, I like the idea of vampires flying…it makes them seem so surreal" I had to throw that in just for Emmett's sake.

"Whatever Bells," he said. "Hollywood couldn't even come close to the real thing…have you ever seen an on screen vampire Sparkle? I think not."

"What are you planning on being for Halloween, Dear?" Esme asked.

Before I could answer, Emmett started saying, "I think you should wear a whole bunch of metal."

"Do I even want to know why Emmett?" I asked dryly.

"Well that way you can be Jingle Bells…hahaha" He laughed. "No even better we can paint flames on your face, too."

"Flames?" Asked Jasper.

"Hells Bells……" Emmett actually snorted after saying that one.

"Bella could walk around holding a plate," Alice said

"Huh? A plate? What are you talking about Alice?" I said

"Ciao Bella" She got out before breaking into giggles. "Get it? Ciao sounds like chow? It's a homonym"

"Homonym? Don't you serve that with Pita bread? Bella, do you like homonym?" said Esme.

I loved Esme, despite her culinary ineptitude. She is a vampire, after all.

"Well Edward can put Bella on his back….."Jasper smirked

"And why would I do that?" I asked him, apparently playing right into his humor.

"Well then he would be waiting with Bells on." Everyone started to laugh at that one.

"Bella, let's get you out of here before it gets any thicker in here," said Edward as he grabbed my hand to stand up.

He whisked me out the door as I heard someone saying something about Baby Bell cheese. I'd definitely had enough of the "Bell" jokes. We got into the car to head back to Charlie's.

"Are you really upset about Halloween Bella?"

"No Edward. I was just thinking aloud. I still like Halloween. Do you think that Emmett and Rosalie will dress up like Tarzan and Jane?" I asked Edward.

"Ugh probably, but let's not encourage that, huh?"

End