A/n: Okay, so this….. Is my first fanfic! *trumpet fanfare* And, uh… Pie anyone? *holds up apple and steak pie*

Anyways, this idea arrived in my brain when I was listening to Len's song, 'Give me back my pants!' And, uh… This came to mind.

This is utter crack, so be warned. Oh yeah, DISCLAIMER TIMEZ! :D

Disclaimer: I OWN HETALIA AND I AM GOING TO MAKE THE WHOLE CAST DANCE THE CARMELDANSEN AND ALL MY FAVOURITE COUPLES WILL BECOME ONE AND HRE WILL BE GERMANY AND- *-shot- I…. I don't own it. ._.

It was a beautiful day. The birds were singing as nature intended, the sun was beating on the Earth as nature intended, and the flowers were blooming as nature inten-. Well, I think you get the point.

Romano was lying peacefully in his bed, drool running from his mouth. He murmured a little and turned over, with a small smile on his face.

In Romano's dream:

"Come back here farfallla! I just want to stroke your pretty little wings!"

Romano was running after a cute little butterfly in a pretty field filled with flowers.

Yes. Flowers. And the weirdest thing of all?

He was smiling.

Smiling

Not a smirk, not a leer, not a snarl, but a smile. A genuine, happy, carefree smile.

I think it's pretty obvious this is crack.

Whatever. Fanfics weren't invented to be taken seriously anyway, right?

Right.

So just keep reading. Or leave. Or throw your computer in an incinerator whilst screaming that you will never come near a piece of rubbish like this ever again. Because that's what this is. Rubbish.

Well, I've got bags of self confidence, haven't I?

But I digress, as I always do.

Oh how I love digressing.

Anyway, Romano was indeed engaging in the pursuing of the dainty insect, as it weaved its way in its own intricate meaningless dance through the flowers that were dotted in clumps around the vast piece of untouched land.

The source of Romano's child-like joy alighted on a petunia, where if wafted in synchronicity with the plant. The personification of the southern half of Italy reached out a hand to capture it, only for the creature to disappear, without even a puff of smoke.

Strange.

Romano looked up in surprise, to see one of his worst nightmares come to life.

Well, not as bad as the potato sucker, but still…

It was a whole horde of France heads, surrounding him in a leering, perverted circle.

"Strip Lovi, strip~"

"H-huh? C-chigi! No way, jackasses!"

"Too late, Lovi~ Too late~"

And with that, they engulfed him.

He woke up with a start, sweat glistening on his forehead. Right before the alarm rang.

Huh. How convenient.

Sighing, he reached over to turn the infernal thing off, and then got out of bed.

"Okay, okay. I need to get dressed now"

He walked over to the underwear drawer, only to make a terrible discovery…

Outside:

"CHIGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

"Hetalia!"

Inside:

Romano's face wore a mixture of sadness and horror as he took in the horrible sight.

His favourite underwear, red like a tomato with a red bow, a gift from (that jackass) Spain…Was missing.

And Lovino Vargas was determined to find it, no matter the cost.