I'll never for the life of me figure out why Puck chose the inferior human over me.

I mean, come on! I'm pretty, smart, pretty, evil, pretty, and I have good taste in music! Did I mention I'm pretty?

First up: I'm prettier than her. Hello? She's this thing of a person that doesn't use makeup and that somehow makes Puck go gaga. Where's the reasoning in that? I, on the other hand, pluck my eyebrows every two days, brush my hair at least two hundred times each morning, and use lipstick and blush with the perfect touch of eyeliner.

I'm smarter than her, of course. Everyone knows that blondes are dumb. Why do you think there are so many dumb blonde jokes? That's why I dyed my hair brown.

Everyone knows that evil people are cuter. We laugh cuter, we dress cuter, and we even look cuter. Why can't Puck see that? Because of my homicidal tendencies? Yeah, right.

That human girl, oh what's-her-face, probably listens to crappy music, like Glee or Lady Antebellum or Coldplay or something. I, on the other hand, have a more refined taste, and I listen to The Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus, and Justin Bieber.

Another thing: cross-breeding is dangerous. Who knows what their baby will look like? It'll probably have half a wing, which will look stupid.

Why can't Puck see I'm so much better than that lowly human?