A/N:

FOR THE STORY TO MAKE ANY SENSE, YOU REALLY SHOULD READ THIS SHORT AUTHORS NOTE!

"That's A Lie!" is a series of outrageous untruths formed by people jumping to the wrong conclusions and under estimating the power of logic.

So, will YOU fall pray to presumptions?

It was a normal, Saturday afternoon in Shigure's house, as always (lie). Nothing unusual had happened in the past week, except a rapid weather change between Wednesday and Friday (lie). Seeing as it was a Saturday, Tohru took it upon herself to do the shopping (truth) while Shigure was downstairs reading an educational (lie)... children's (lie)... pornographic (truth) magazine, yet, absolutely nothing else was happening (lie).

"My, my," Shigure placed down his magazine and glanced towards the stairs, not really talking to anyone at all. "What could that sound be?"

He stood and tip-toed (lie), scampered at top speed towards the sound, the sound he could recognize from a mile (lie), a thousand miles away; the sound of a moan.

"Kyo! Kyo!" Shigure snickered as he heard the gasping sound escaping past none other than Yuki's lips. It was as clear as crystal what was going on in that bedroom and the Dog took it upon himself to show the world that the disgruntled Cat and the easily agitated Rat could most definitely get along.

"Oooooh, Geez… Can't you do this any faster?!" Kyo managed to groan and hurried grunts could be heard. There was a short silence.

"It's not working! It won't come out!" The Rat shouted as the grunting stopped. "Hang on, I'll try another approach!"

"YUKI! Shit, shit, shit… Yuki!" Was the loud reply the Rat received. Kyo, as it seemed, was hurting, which was more than evident thanks to his crude profanity. Whatever Yuki had tried most certainly was working.

'A pained moan? Who knew Yuki was so kinky! And to think… well, as if the Cat would top… he can barely shove Yuki down, let alone mount him from behind!' Shigure's toothy grin was spreading from ear to ear at this point; he simply couldn't contain himself any longer! 'I must fetch my video camera, for the love of all things holy and sexual! I'll make thousands with this! I'll put it on the internet, oh yes, under the title of "Sexually Frustrated Cousins Relieve Themselves With Each Other"… I'm gonna be rich…'

It was almost too much for the Dog as he rushed down the halls at top speed to his study, fetching (no pun intended) the video camera mentioned previously. But, as fate would have it, the camera was nowhere to be seen.

'Oh no, dear Lord, why now? WHY NOW!?' Shigure began to throw random books and items of sexual interest around the room, searching desperately. 'Maybe I'll just take photos? It could work!'

Grasping his mobile phone within his fingers, he scurried back, but little sound was to be heard now. He didn't dare crack the door open, but instead, pressed his ear to the door again.

"You filthy bastard…" There was no doubt that that was Kyo. "Couldn't you have done it any quicker? Damn, it hurts everywhere…"

"It's not my fault you got stuck," Yuki spat in reply and Shigure bit his tongue to stop from laughing and/or bursting in there. "And it serves you right; it hurt me too, you know."

"I don't give a damn." Kyo muttered and footsteps followed. 'Wait… footsteps? Oh crap! He's coming and I'm standing outside the door!'

The Dog attempted to bolt, run, flee for his life, but it seemed that once again, fate was not on his side. In fact, not only did he manage to catch none of this sexy occasion on camera (no one would believe him, otherwise) but he was also frozen. The door in front of his face slid open, and he was greeted with a sweaty Kyo who was limping slightly.

Miles away, Tohru swore she heard someone yelling, 'SHIGURE!' at the top of their lungs. Shrugging it off, she stared at the two cans in her hand.

'I wonder what they'd prefer more in the fruit salad… diced peaches or cubed pears?'

A/N:

"That's A Lie!" chapter two is going to be released by Thursday.

I hope you enjoyed this.

(grin)