I'll Tell Them Tomorrow
Stephanie thinks about leaving Trenton.
Set after Plum Luvin'.
Valentine's Day had come and gone. I loved my yellow roses from Joe. He knows they're my favorite. He felt really bad about not being with me but I truly understood that he couldn't. When he did get back a few days later his hair was longer, his five o'clock shadow was more pronounced and his body leaner than before he left. I didn't care; he still looked sexier than hell, I was just glad he was safely back home. Joe is a good cop, he has street smarts and excellent training but I'm still concerned that one day I'll get that phone call or visit from his captain telling me something went wrong. After two days of mind blowing reunion sex things turned ugly. I noticed a scar on Joe's side that hadn't been there before. Joe admitted to me that he had gotten hurt while undercover. He assured me it was just a flesh wound. He said he didn't tell me because he didn't want me to worry. That's when we got into a fight. Or, I should say, I ranted at him about how unfair it is when he gets mad at me for putting myself in danger while he does it all the time. The next day when Joe was offered another assignment I snidely suggested he not bother coming home this time. Joe took the job. Obviously things ended badly.
Ranger came home soon after. He stopped by my apartment to tell me that in a week he was moving his Rangeman headquarters to Miami; he wants to be closer to Julie. He asked if I would be interested in joining him there. The perks Ranger described included a personal trainer, a weapons instructor, a nutritionist, a shiny new black sports car and an apartment on the Rangeman compound. He also let me know that any and all personal services I might enjoy from him were part of the plan. I could really turn into Wonder Woman.
I thought maybe this was a sign. Maybe it was time for a change. It would be something, finally getting out of the Burg. I mean, no more beauty parlor gossip, no more cops laughing at my blunders, no more Grandma Mazar antics, no more lectures from my mother, no more worrying about or fighting with Joe. I decided to take Ranger up on his offer. Now all I needed to do was pack, turn in my apartment keys and tell everyone goodbye. Too easy.
I went by the bonds office to give my notice. Connie and Lula were joking with Melvin about his new girlfriend. They were having so much fun. Somehow I couldn't tell them I was leaving. I mean who will Connie have to haul in skips? I promised to help Lula pick up Carl Delaroche; she can't do that by herself. Melvin's gonna need advice about that new girl. Mooner has a court date coming up and if I don't take him he's sure to miss it. Okay, so I'll tell them tomorrow.
Next I went home, not my apartment, but home. It was lunch time; my dad was watching the news. Grandma and Ma were fixing lunch. Ma smiled at me and without saying a word set another plate. We all sat down and Grandma jumped right in asking about Joe's return; "Did you have hot monkey sex to celebrate"; "Is it true that the department sent him on another assignment"; "Does he really like to handcuff you to the bed during sex"? My mother crossed herself and my father just shook his head muttering something about handcuffing Grandma to the bumper of his car. The whole time I couldn't help but smile, I hate to admit it but I enjoy coming home. My family is crazy, but they love me no matter what. And they love Joe; he has no problem coming here. Ranger ate here once and won't come back. He's scared of Grandma. Joe isn't afraid of any of my relatives. In fact I think he cares about them as much as I do. Ma packed up a bag of leftovers and dessert. I was going to tell them about me leaving but I didn't have the heart. My mother needs someone to eat her leftovers. Grandma has a viewing on Wednesday; she'll get into all kinds of trouble if she goes alone. My father needs someone to keep him from killing Grandma. Okay, so I'll tell them tomorrow.
Ranger called to remind me that we leave in two days for Miami. I haven't seen him since he stopped by to talk; I haven't felt the need to call him since he got home. You know that saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder"? It hasn't worked with Ranger; I find myself thinking less and less about him. Somehow when I made this decision a week ago I was excited. So why haven't I been able to tell anyone I'm leaving, why aren't my things packed and my notice given on my apartment? Suddenly I'm not so thrilled about this whole thing. But this is what I want; I've made my decision. Okay, so I'll do it all tomorrow.
Now that whole absence thing has had a different effect on my feelings for Joe. I miss him so much; I think about him every day. I wish he would call so I could tell him how sorry I am for our fight and how much I love him. I do love Joe but I've told Ranger I'll go to Miami. I want to get away from the Burg and move to a place where Wonder Woman can shine. But I can't just leave without even saying goodbye. I've loved Joe since I was a kid; we've been through so much together. He deserves a goodbye. Maybe he'll get home soon, like tomorrow.
Joe called. He's coming home. He sounded so tired on the phone. I told him all the things I wanted to say. Well, except for the part about me leaving. I didn't want to do it over the phone. That would be mean; besides, he'll be back in the morning. Okay, so I'll tell him tomorrow.
I dreamed I was lost in a maze of tall buildings; everywhere I turned there were just more buildings. The streets were empty; it was dark and cold, no one was around but me. I called out but got no answer. Finally I saw a light so I made my way toward it. As I got closer I saw my parent's house. I was safe! I was home!! I ran up the steps and tried to open the front door but I couldn't. I banged on the door, calling to my family. They didn't see me, couldn't hear me. I stood at the window watching them. Albert was playing cards with the girls. Joe and my father were watching a game on TV. Val and Ma were setting the table. A woman, holding a baby, came out of the kitchen; she was also carrying a bottle. I didn't recognize her or the baby. She walked over to Joe, kissed him on the forehead and handed him both the baby and the bottle. I stared openmouthed when Joe looked up, gave the woman a full blown Morelli smile, sat back and began feeding the baby like it was the most natural thing in the world. She then started helping Ma and Val put dinner on the table. My heart sank as it dawned on me that Joe would move on after I left. How could this happen and why had my family welcomed them with open arms? What about me, they need me, they love me and they really can't get along without me?
I woke up in a cold sweat. I was in Joe's bed. I wanted to spend one last night here before I left. I knew Joe wouldn't mind if I let myself in; he gave me a key. I needed this comfort just like I needed one last meal at home and one last visit to the bonds office. Bob was looking at me; I swear I saw concern in those goofy brown eyes. I could hear Rex running on his wheel. They would both be staying here. Ranger doesn't do pets. How can I leave Rex and Bob? What the hell am I thinking? Just because I made an irrational decision after a stupid fight with Joe doesn't mean I can't change my mind. I don't want to be hold up on some compound with Ranger waking me up at o-dark thirty, making me exercise and eat boring food. I don't want to spend all day learning about weapons and self defense. Why would I want to do that when I can be here in Trenton with all the people that love me and need me?
I can't just leave them. Oh, who I am fooling. If I'm totally honest with myself I know I'm the one who needs them. I guess another old saying "Once a Burg girl, always a Burg girl" is true. Ranger is not gonna like this, he's gonna be really mad. I need to tell him I'm not leaving but first I want to get ready for Joe's homecoming. No. This is one thing I need to face right now. I'm tired of feeling like Ranger is always in charge, this time I need to be the boss. Okay, so I'll tell him right now.
It's been six months since Ranger left town, four months since I gave up my apartment to move in with Joe and three months since he asked me to marry him. I woke up thirsty and tiptoed down to the kitchen for a glass of milk. Rex was running on his wheel, my cookie jar was sitting on the counter; it's now filled with cookies. Lula, Connie and I started a private detective agency a while back and I haven't seemed to need a gun lately. I padded up the stairs to our bedroom; it was a nice night so the windows were opened. Aunt Rose's curtains fluttered in the breeze. Bob was asleep on the floor by the bed. Joe was sprawled out on top of the sheets and all I could think about was being sprawled out on top of Joe.
After Joe got home I confessed to him I had thought about leaving with Ranger. Joe was pretty upset but we worked things out and here we are. We've never been better. I do have one more confession to make. I went to the doctor today. I smile as I place my hand on my soon to be round tummy. I can't wait to see the look on Joe's face when he finds out he's going to be a father. I wanted to tell him tonight when I got home but Mooch and Tony were here watching a game. I want to tell him just the right way, make it really special. I'll tell him tomorrow!
