The bed was cold.
Abby didn't even know why she had even noticed when she awoke. It wasn't like she was had been that observant the past few days. Everything had been a bit of a blur since Erin hadn't shown up to the interview. Abby wasn't even mad about that now, really. She had been furious about that at the time, but gradually the anger had dulled to the heartache that she felt when she couldn't find Erin. She hadn't been at work, she hadn't been on school grounds. When Abby finally had let herself into their apartment, she knew.
Erin was gone. She had left for Princeton already.
Abby had sat against the front door and cried.
She didn't even know when she had crawled into bed. Or maybe she had walked. Either way, she felt empty and didn't want to move. Her girlfriend had walked away from her. From everything they had. Six years of friendship and love.
And she hadn't even left a note. Just like that, she was gone into thin air.
Maybe she really was a ghost girl after all.
But Abby knew she couldn't become a ghost herself over this. She had to get up and carry on. As much as she wanted to mourn the loss of Erin, she had to get up and keep on living. She had to be strong. She had to remember she once had a life without her.
She had to remember how to be just Abby again, even if she didn't want to. Abby looked over to the other side of the bed and sighed. She glared at the empty space.
"Fuck you Erin."
Abby wasn't much for swearing, but saying it outloud felt appropriate. It gave her a little bit of strength. It wasn't much, but it was enough. She got up off the bed, still feeling weak and empty. Something (probably hunger) propelled her to the kitchen. Nothing felt appetizing, save for a lone can of tomato and basil soup in the pantry. It added warmth to her bones, just enough that it pushed her to get a shower. Every little step, every little task help push her forward. She just had to keep going. Go to work, go shopping, go to the movies, keep exploring the unknown. Do something to keep her mind off the fact that her girlfriend hadn't even bothered to pick up the phone since running out on her. Not even an apology. Not an explanation.
Nothing.
That's all that she was. She was nothing to Erin now.
And maybe that's all she really was. She was nothing in the world. Maybe she really was delusional in thinking there had to be more to the world than what was.
Abby pushed those thoughts out of her head. She was more than nothing in this life, and she had been more than nothing to Erin. Her best friend turned girlfriend was just running scared, trying to be a normal in a world that frowned on the abnormal. Abby took a deep breath and looked around their apartment.
School couldn't start back fast enough. She needed books and papers and projects to distract her.
