AN: I apologize in advance. I think I might have eaten one too many cheese-it's, and had a bit too much soda so late at night. If you have read my fic The Black Prince, Kyuubi would have mentioned a crack fic at I believe the Author's Note of Chapter 4…. This is it… Yes... This is the fic that has all anime characters in fear and praying everyday that no fan girl/fan boy gets ownership of their anime.
Summary: I glare at the therapist, "What did you just ask me…?" She gives me a 'do I have to repeat myself' look. "I asked, what do you feel when you have sex with your best friend and older brother in the same bed?" This therapist has no shame… And it's a god damn woman! Therapist Bethani has her work cut out for her with this threesome couple. This will be about a 5 to 6 part random crack fic. Enjoy it if you want to see the famous Uchihas squirm and Naruto under pressure of a phyco!
Warning: It's Itachi. Bad language, and unwanted information. Just listen to the questions and decide if you want to read! Oh, yeah, threesome! ItaSasuNaru! (Author is on a happy/hyper high and ain't coming down! Whoo! *Dances around in circles before tripping and hitting head on the bookshelf then the wall in succession* ….Oww…. That hurt… A lot….)
CHATPER 1: The Therapist; Enter Dr. Bethani
I glare at the three boys before me. I blow some of my short brown curls out of my face and give the two Uchihas' glares that rival their own.
"Okay. You guys can either answer my questions when asked… Or I simply tie you to a chair and torture you till you answer them…. Be warned, there is a reason why even though I'm the best in my field, I'm also the least recommended…" I warned with a soft, kind voice.
I couldn't sound threatening for the world… Unless you know how I usually am and know what to look out for. These three have no clue. I look at my clipboard again.
The small blond in the middle of the group in 17 year old Naruto Uzamaki, vessel to the famous, or sometimes infamous, Kyuubi no Kitsune, and the Uke of the threesome.
On his right sat the young terror and heartthrob of the ninja world since his older brother was 18 year old Sasuke Uchiha, dominant to Naruto and Uke to his brother, the middle in the group.
On Naruto's left was Sasuke's older brother 24 year old Itachi Uchiha, youngest anbu ninja in history and the main dominant.
The two Uchihas were giving me there best glares, I smirk. "You guys gotta work better than that!"
With a fast movement I have a large, blown up photo I had googled of ItaSasu fanart displayed in my office. A rather…hot…picture of the two Uchihas…. Anyways, with the distraction working I grab the blond from between them and lock the two of us in a room.
Cries of 'NOOOOO!' and snarling could be heard as I crackle loudly.
"Now, Naruto, I'm going to ask some questions and you're going to answer." I give him a big, sweet smile. He cringes into the couch across from me and makes me frown. Come on, I know I'm not a normal therapist, but hey. My ways of working aren't that unorthodox compared to the pairings I deal with.
Just last week I had to deal with the drama cycle of the never ending Yoh doesn't like Anna and has interest in someone he refuses to name, Hao likes Yoh, but Anna is suppose to marry Yoh and won't give him up. If I can live through that you have to give me credit!
I may appear weak, I mean, who would fear a small 4'10'' tall pale skinned girl. With the large innocent green eyes, and wide, always there smile, and short, bouncy, brown curly hair that makes you swear it's professionally done or took hours when it's all natural. Don't forget the always there blush on my cheeks, no makeup needed. I look like a harmless little girl, but I take my job seriously!
"Now, Naruto, what is your relationship with Itachi and Sasuke? How did it start? Are you happy with how your relationships are going? What did you last talk to Kyuubi about? And when was the last time you were skrewed by your lovers?" I ask with a normal, passive face and a pen at the ready as I await his answer.
I get none and look up. Oh, my… I seemed to have sent him into shock… Guess I'll have to wait till the questions register with him.
I sit back and sip my coffee, 'Yummy, yummy for my tummy, mhmm, mhmm, good!' I sit back and get comfy, of yeah. Gotta change the boys' picture in the other room!
I use my laptop to change the ItaSasu picture to a very sexual, and let's not forget hawt, ItaNaru picture, only Naruto has fox ears and a tail that Itachi is making him do naughty things with.
I love being the evilly psychotically insane therapist they can't fire because I actually do my job~! It's awesome!
"Sometime today please Naruto." I mumble with a smirk, this will be an interesting case I've had to do. Hm…. Isn't Itachi too old for these two… Hm…. I guess I'll have to talk about that… But it's so hawt….
Oh my, I'm drooling over my fanfiction fantasies again. Not good! Focus on work. I look and notice Naruto is still spaced out.
"Wait, YOU WANT ME TO TALK ABOUT WHEN I HAVE SEX!" Naruto yells at me.
I frown. "No, I want you to talk about when one of your lovers has their dick shoved up your ass and you're begging for more." I state bluntly. Oops, sent him into shock again. Maybe I should have taken one of the Uchiha's in first…. Too late.
I throw a bucket of water on Naruto and wait for his answer, he fidgets and again, I love my job…!
AN: ...Dude... My insanity if become a great source of bad ideas... Oh well, might as well let it all out. Let it all out. Enjoy the randomness people! Next up is poor Naruto's point of view!
