Paint By Numbers

Summery - A black tie affair, a valuable painting, Chrysalis, an interesting proposition and a theft all add up to trouble for The Agency.

Rating - PG 13

Disclaimer - Darien, Hobbes, Alex, Claire, The Official, Eberts, Chrysalis, Stark are the property of Stu Segall Productions and The Sci Fi Channel. I am merely borrowing them. (irish - February 2001)

Chapter 1

"Oh man, why does this have to so damn complicated," moaned Darien Fawkes as he sat in the conference room filling in a report about the assignment he and Bobby just finished.
"It's a curse. The Official and Eberts have discovered a way to drive me insane," muttered Bobby going through the mass of forms on the conference room table.
"So let me get this right. We fill in the blue report for our own files, the yellow version is for The Official, the red version we have to fill out in triplicate for whichever goddamn department we are under this week. The quicksilver usage report for Claire..." Darien said picking up one of the forms and looking through it.
"No. No. No. The yellow version has to filled out in triplicate for The Official and the blue one is for the department..." Bobby replied frowning at one of the forms. He looked over at Darien who was leaning across the table with his elbows on the table.
"Are you sure?" Darien asked.
"Yeah. Eberts said that the blue version had to be filled out in triplicate..." Bobby replied with a small grin.
"Hey wait a minute you just said that the yellow version had to filled out in triplicate," Darien replied with a look of confusion.
"No I didn't," replied Bobby.
"Yes you did," Darien said nodding his head.
"Gentleman, I hope you have those forms filled," The Official said as he and Eberts walked into the conference room.
"Chief. Why the need for all this crappy paperwork?" asked Darien lifting his head to look at his boss.
"New regulations. In order to get funding we need to keep a detailed record of all our assignments," Eberts said before The Official could open his mouth.
"Can't we just fill in one and Xerox all the rest?" Booby asked.
"No," replied The Official.
Bobby and Darien looked at each other and sighed. "So let us get this straight. The Blue version is for The Official..." Bobby was interrupted by Darien who said "No the red version filled out in triplicate is for The Official and the yellow version is filled out five different times for..." Bobby then interrupted Darien "That's wrong Fawkes, the yellow version..."
"Shut up Hobbes," The Official said in annoyance. Bobby looked over at Darien who had a small grin on his face.
"We need clarification," Darien said trying his best to look as innocent as possible.
"Yep clarification is what we need," replied Bobby nodding his head in agreement.
"It's quite simple Robert," Eberts said. "The blue version is for your own files..."
"Shut up Eberts," the Official said interrupting Eberts midflow. Eberts looked at The Official with annoyance.
"Ok. I have another assignment for both of you," said The Official getting down to business.
Darien and Bobby groaned. "More paperwork."
"The San Diego Convention Centre is holding an Art Auction tonight and we received four tickets," explained The Official.
"It's a formal black tie affair," Eberts said taking over from The Official. Darien and Bobby looked at Eberts and The Official and realised what they were getting at.
"Are you going?" asked Darien.
"No Fawkes. You both are," replied The Official with a small smile. Darien groaned.
"There's no way you are getting me into a monkey suit," he complained.
"Fawkes it's an assignment. You are required to carry out all missions that I need you to do," The Official said sternly.
"So what's the assignment?" asked Bobby.
The Official opened the file and took out a catalogue and placed it on the conference table.
"These are the items for Auction," He said as he flicked through the catalogue and opened it at a page.
"We want you to make sure this painting is safe," Eberts said pointing at a picture in the catalogue. Darien and Bobby looked at the painting and dissolved in a fit of laughing.
"You can't be serious," Darien said still laughing as he looked at the painting. The painting was mounted on a white canvas and had several red, yellow, blue and green brushstrokes painted randomly on it.
"This is the painting by Ina Noël," said The Official.
"My six year old niece could do a better job," laughed Bobby.
"It looks like one of those paint by numbers jobs. You know the..." Darien started to say but was interrupted by Eberts who said, "The painting is worth ten million dollars."
"Have we missed something? This painting is worth 10 million? I don't get it," said Darien shaking his head.
"The Assignment is that you have to make sure the painting is safe," said The Official.
"Why?" asked Darien.
"I think the fact that the painting is worth 10 million dollars may have something to do with it," replied Eberts.
"Fawkes you will be required to make sure the Painting doesn't leave your sight until it's bought."
"Sir, I have a question," Bobby piped up.
"What?" asked The Official.
"You said you had an invitation for four. If you and Eberts ain't going then who is?" Bobby asked.
"I have asked Agent Monroe and The Keeper to accompany you," replied The Official.
"Claire is coming!" Bobby exclaimed with his eyes lighting up.
"Yes. I asked them to be here at 6.45. I have a hired a car to leave at 7. The event starts at 7.30. The Auction starts at 9.30. I need the assignment to be finished by midnight," The Official said.
"Why?" asked Bobby.
"Because your carriage turns into a pumpkin," replied The Official with a laugh.
"Wait a minute. We're leaving at 7?" Darien asked looking a bit panicked as he looked at his watch.
"On the dot," replied Eberts.
"It's four now. I'm gonna have to get an emergency hair appointment," Darien exclaimed taking out his cell phone.
"So Claire is coming?" Bobby asked as Darien ran out the door. The Official and Eberts looked at each other and rolled their eyes.

Bobby stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom of the Agency later that evening. He straightened his black bow tie. He stepped back and looked admiringly at himself. He then headed for The Official's office. He saw only The Official in the office.
"So where's the Keeper?" Bobby asked The Official.
"She called 10 minutes ago. She should be on her way. Agent Monroe will be here shortly," replied The Official watching as Bobby paced the office shaking his arms as if he was trying to loosen himself up.
"So do I look alright?" Bobby asked The Official who rolled his eyes.
"Hobbes. This is not a prom date. It's a business affair,"
"I know, I know," replied Bobby.
"Where's Fawkes?" asked The Official.
"Probably still at the hair salon," Bobby said swinging his arms.
"Well that's somewhere you don't need to go," Alex said walking in the door. Bobby's eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw Alex. She was wearing a black floor length silk dress which plunged at the front and the back.
"Wow!" exclaimed Bobby.
"Close your mouth or you'll let the flies in, Bobby," Alex said.
"You look great!" Bobby said.
"We covered that already," replied Alex.
All of a sudden Darien came running through the door. His bow tie was in his hand and his shirt was sticking out.
"Sorry. Couldn't get an appointment till 5.30," he said breathlessly.
"We're still waiting for The Keeper," The Official said watching as Darien tried to tie his bow tie.
"I'm here," Claire said walking through the door. Darien and Bobby stared at her in admiration. She was wearing a velvet burgundy dress with a halter neck. Her blonde hair was piled in soft curls on her head although some strands of hair fell around her face.
"Claire, you look amazing," Bobby said.
"You don't look so bad yourself," she said smiling.
"You look beautiful," Darien said kissing her on the cheek.
"You look very handsome," Claire said to him as she fixed Darien's bow tie. Alex fumed when she saw Claire getting all the attention.
"Hey did you hear that? She said I looked handsome," Darien said teasingly to Bobby.
"Let's just go," Alex said.
"Ok. Shall we?" Darien said offering his arm to Claire. She slipped her hand through his arm.
"I just have to get the counteragent," Claire said as she and Darien walked down the hallway.
"Miss Monroe. May I?" Bobby asked looking Alex.
"Certainly Agent Hobbes," Alex said taking Bobby's arm.
"Have a good time," The Official said as his agents went down to the front door,
"Hey Hobbes. How are we getting there?" Darien asked when he and Claire came down from The Keep a couple of minutes later.
"The Official said he organised the transportation," Claire said.
"Oh that means an old junk car," replied Bobby.
"No it doesn't," Darien said. His eyes widened when he saw a black stretch limousine pull up to the sidewalk.
"Look's like The Offish pulled out all the stops," Booby said helping Alex into the limo. Darien helped Claire in and the two men got in after them.
"Look a mini bar!" exclaimed Darien going through the contents of the mini bar. He found a bottle of champagne and 4 champagne glasses. He handed the others a glass and poured the champagne into each glass. They all clinked glasses.
"Well I could get used to this life," Darien said as he sipped his champagne and looked out through the darkened windows.

TBC