Disclaimer: I dont own ouran highschool host club by bisco hitori nor counting stars by one republic (though i really..reallllyyy wish i did!) ;^;
Hikaru had been having some problems lately with his emotions. Working in a host club in an elite neighborhood didn't help him relax. He was always supposed to keep up with formalities and after a while he felt that he would die from all the stress.
Thank goodness his brother was always with him. Without his brother Hikaru wouldn't have been able to do anything, forget talk to the girls fawning over him. At first, he felt awkward having to flirt with his brother, but after a while it was a game, a game to see the reactions of these girls.
But at this time he felt no enjoyment as the girls scram when he placed his hand around his brother waist. He felt uncomfortable, despite the fact that his brother was right there next to him.
Lately, his brother's presence made him feel sick. His heartbeat would irregularly pound against his chest whenever their fingertips met. It didn't help that he was constantly with his brother. They worked together, slept together, and even showered together. All Hikaru could do was wait until he could get home and make an excuse of locking himself in their guest room. Recently he was going along the fact that he had to study for his midterms. Since Hikaru never studied, he knew Kaoru would catch on soon enough if he hadn't already. For some reason, he actually wanted Kaoru to corner him and demand an answer because then Hikaru can face what he felt. Kaoru made him happy but so so sad. Was it bad or was it good? He didn't even know.
I feel something so right
By doing the wrong thing
And I feel something so wrong
By doing the right thing
Throughout their ride home, Hikaru slowly inches away from Kaoru until he is so far away that his hips crash into the car door in pain. When he feels Kaoru's stare, he glimpses to his left, only to catch the hurt expression on his brother's face before Kaoru turns towards his window. Hikaru's heart feels like his heart is being squeezed and his throat has huge lump. His brother really is making him ill.
When they get home, Hikaru runs for the guest room and slams it shut before he has face Kaoru.
That night, Hikaru dreams of Kaoru's smiling face from weeks ago. It's a dream that really makes him happy and makes him feel like he's on cotton candy land. The weirdest thing about this dream is Hikaru's desire to reach out towards his brother and just kiss his pink lips.
When he suddenly wakes up, he's attacked with guilt. Not only has he been avoiding Kaoru for no apparent reason, he still wants to be with him. Hikaru feels horrible. If only they could be together again. If only he could wrap his hands around him one more time. If only…
Lately I been, I been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I been, I been prayin' hard
After minutes of trying to collect more sleep, Hikaru decides to get some water. It is two in the morning, safe enough not to run into Kaoru.
He throws back his bed sheets and walks to the kitchen. He opens the fridge, becoming temporarily blinded by the bright light. After taking out a bottle of water, he pushes the door close and screams. There is a dark figure behind the door. It takes him a second to regain his heartbeat, before Hikaru looks back to his bewildered brother. Upon seeing his face his body's heart reminds him that he's allergic to his brother and he stumbles around his brother to leave. "Umm…I needed some water." he mumbles as he passes, before Kaoru grabs his arms.
"Why are you avoiding me? What have I done wrong? We've always been together before."
"Exactly! That's exactly the point. We've been together so much you just see me as a part of my life. B-but, for some reason your more to me! I don't know. My bodies were so weird. I think it doesn't want you anymore. I-I hate myself. "Hikaru blabs as he starts tearing up. "I don't want to leave, but my body does. I like you near, but I hate you near." Hikaru screams
Kaoru is taken aback. "You don't make any sense."
"You make me feel so sick. You, you! You make my body overact. The second you touch me, my heart explodes and my body heats up. I end up flinching but leaning in. I don't know what to do. I want to run but I want to stay. You make me feel so cruel. "Hikaru says, lowering his head into his hands as he slides down against the kitchen counter.
Kaoru reaches to find the light switch and when he opens it to find his brother's eyes red and face pink, he understands it all.
"Hush." Kaoru says as he hugs his brother. "It's all right. I feel the same way."
Hikaru slowly raises his head as he stares into his brother's eyes. "You do?"
"Yes silly. Every time we cuddle in bed, every time you lay your head in my shoulder, every time you say my name, it drives me nuts. You have no idea. I've been feeling this way since we started working together."
"W-What does that mean? Did we catch a disease?" Hikaru says in-between his hiccups.
" . It's called love. I want to hold you forever, but it makes my heart go crazy. All because….because I love you." Kaoru whispers into Hikaru's ears.
Hikaru shivers.
"B-but why does it hurt so much? Isn't love supposed to feel great?"
"Yeah. It hurts because it's so good." Kaoru says as he cradles his brother. Hikaru starts tearing for a whole other reason. He feels so, so in peace. Time passes in peace as the brothers lie in each other's hands in the kitchen floor. Kaoru is about to fall asleep as he hears Hikaru whisper, almost silently "I love you too."
I couldn't lie, couldn't lie, couldn't lie
Everything that kills me makes me feel alive
a/n: i dont know i dont know! reviewwwwww...
