I was seventeen years old when I realized I was absolutely and irrevocably in love with Edward Cullen. Edward and I have always been good friends, since that fateful day in kindergarten when we were formally introduced. Of course back then I had this crazy notion in my head that it would be a good idea to give myself a nickname. Well being a five year old and terribly obsessed with my love for all things I could easily spell, I chose Bell. Unfortunately, it stuck.
Now I get to live it up on a daily basis, and who other than to call me that but the wonderful and gorgeous Edward. Oh yes, I have indeed tried to come up with an appropriate nickname for him. (Ed, Eddonis, Edwardus, and the most infamous "Eddie") but nothing seemed "right" for such an extraordinary man like Edward. I will always wonder why it is I did not realize the attraction I held for Edward before I was seventeen, but its safe to say I'm just glad I actually came to the realization. Because from that moment on my life has absolutely changed for the better... and the unavoidable horrible situations that have absolutely made their presence known.
I was on my way to the mall on a Wednesday afternoon in my silver convertible bug, top down of course, to pick out an outfit for the party of the year that was to take place that very night. Usually I was not the party type of girl, but it was the closing of my junior year so I decided what the hell why not? Id never tasted alcohol in my life but tonight would be the night and god was I excited! Edward on the other hand, was not. Of course he had gotten drunk at parties numerous times, and it seemed like he was having the time of his life. So to not let me have my one night of fun was absolutely ludicrous of him! While all these thoughts ran through my head, along with the sexy outfit I was picturing in my mind, I got a phone call from Edward.
"Hello." I answered lamely.
"Hey Bell where have you been, I've been trying to reach you for a full fifteen minutes!" I laughed at his attempt to be funny. It was quite charming if one would ask me.
"Well unlike you I don't answer my phone while I'm driving." I lied. I just didn't want him knowing I had previously been ignoring his calls. What can I say? I was in the middle of listening to some pretty awesome songs, and Edward could definitely wait. Oh… and there was also the fact that I always chewed his head off whenever he called me while he was driving, so I wanted to avoid being called a hypocrite. He'd tried to hide it from me a few times but being that he drives a Jeep, the wind would always drone out his voice and I would immediately yell at him for not only talking to me while driving, but then lying about it!
"Oh jeeze Bella always the goodie goodie." Oh boy did he know it, except for tonight of course… "Where are you headed?"
"Oh you know just to the mall to get something out of this world for tonight's party!"
"Oh yeah…that was actually why I was calling. You see I know Alice said she could drive us because of your… well experimentation tonight. But I would really like you to drive… I just feel safer with you driving." WHAT! … the fuck. Alice was his sister and my best friend for god sake! How could he not feel safe with her driving? This was making no sense to me right now.
"What are you talking about? Alice is a great driver and she would never do anything stupid, unlike somebody I know!" Edward wasn't the best when it came to driving responsively.
"Hey now, I'm a great driver so shut up! And I know she's my sister but I feel saaafee with you Bell." Ok ok, now this was just getting strange. Why did he want me to drive so badly? I swear if this is some sort of trying to protect me crap….
"Well I'm really sorry Edward but my minds already set on actually having fun tonight!"
"Come on Bell! You're like my protector from evil! Like you fight of the bad stuff and shit…." Huh? He was really making no sense to me and it was starting to make me feel uneasy… but in a good way... I think. "I feel comfortable with you being sober and there for me." It wasn't an unknown fact that Edward Cullen could completely handle himself, regardless the situation so why he was acting in such an un-Edwardy way beats me.
"Seriously Edward give it a rest. I'm drinking tonight and there isn't anything you can say that will make me change my mind!"
"But Bella pleaaaaaase! I promise I'll make it fun for you even if you don't drink! I wont leave your side for even a second, and we all know if your caught hanging out with Edward for like the whole time you've got to be a pretty cool chick." What a cocky bastard.
"Ugh! You are such a brown-noser! It's not like a secret that were best friends Edward. Everyone knows, and they have for years. So why don't you just cut the shit and go with the flow! You're always telling me not to be so up tight and to "run with the crowd". Well why don't you actually listen to your own damned advice and let me have my fun Edward! I deserve this!" God he was absolutely infuriating!
"But Bellaaaaaaaaaah!"
"No Edward."
"I'll give you a flower for your car! I'm looking at this beautiful rose from Esme's garden right now and I'm thinking it'll look very nice in that certain bug of yours!" Huh? I knew this must be some sort of bribe or something but a rose? Really? And I knew that the roses in Esme's garden were all red…and red does for sure not mean friendship! That was yellow right…? Oh cut the crap Bella, Focus!
"Ummmm… I don't know Edward…" The butterflies in my stomach were fluttering around like a mile a minute! Wait… what the…? This was Edward Cullen I'm talking about here. Edward freaking Cullen! I'm not supposed to get butterflies in my stomach when Edward offers me a flower. This is ridiculous! I couldn't possibly be this excited because he offered me a rose; I mean it obviously didn't mean anything to him. So why am I getting so worked up about this! Ugh. Stop this Bella; he's your best friend. You simply only harbor platonic feelings for this amazingly beautiful hunk of a…AHHH!
The sound of his distant voice cut of my ridiculous thoughts. "You know this rose is seriously perfect, if I had a love of my life I would give it to her…" he said in a soft tone. Wait. Was I supposed to hear that? Didn't he just say he was going to give it to me? That would mean… l l love… no impossible. Shit I'm falling apart. I need to concentrate!
"Edward, seriously just let me have this one night. Please. That's all I'm asking for is this one night that I get to let go and celebrate the closing to an absolutely hard as fuck junior year!"
After a pause that seemed to fill eternity. "Fine. But Bella you owe me!" Umm… no I don't.
"And for what exactly?"
"Uhhh… I don't know yet Bell but when I know you'll be the first to know!" We both laughed at that.
"I better be! Ok so ill see you tonight! I'll be at your house around eight. Bye Edward!" I said enthusiastically.
"Bye Bella." He said in almost a whisper.
HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK! What the hell was that! All these feelings of confusion and yearning that were going through my head were nearly making me sick! I could not believe that phone conversation. Had he really meant all the things he said? Or was I just reading this whole situation wrong? But I have never, and I mean never, thought of Edward like that. But now whenever I think his name my stomach does flips. This is ridiculous, there is no way I have feelings for Edward Cullen….
Alright… I have feelings for Edward Cullen.
So why am I only noticing this now! After twelve years of being his friend and I realize this NOW! Ugh for the love of… Shit, now I need an even sexier outfit for tonight. One that will make Edward finally notice me for something more than his friend. God I was in way over my head.
