AN: Well, the BBC has done it again. I wasn't about to ship anything after DoctorxRose, and I'm still not sure I am completely aboard the TwelvexClara ship, but as the episodes and angst progress, I can't help the feelings. So, these are going to be little drabbles after the episodes about Twelve coming into realization about his feelings for Miss Clara Oswald.
As his old body roars into this new body, the first thing he's aware of before even his kidneys is Clara and how pretty she is. So, he babbles something about new kidneys, anything, anything to get away from sounding like an idiot. Then, they're crashing right into a dinosaur.
Everything get a bit confusing after regeneration, and for a time, he even gets Clara confused with Strax. Strax!
She breaks his hearts more than he expects her to when she says she's not sure if she wants to travel with him anymore. She looks at him, but he can tell she can't see the man he used to be. She can't see her friend anymore, and that's what hurts.
Because he's still there for Clara, even if he's become more brusque and Scottish and whatever else, he'll still care for her. The question now is, will she?
She answers the phone on the police box after she steps outside, and he knows that it's him calling. Will she?
"Well?" he asked when he stepped outside.
"Well, what?"
"He asked you a question. Will you help me?" He can't bring himself to look at her, afraid of her rejection, anticipating it, because only a handful of companions like his brilliant pink and yellow girl had handled regeneration well.
"You shouldn't have been listening." Even without looking, he can tell she's frowning at him in disapproval.
"I wasn't," he clarified. "I didn't need to. That was me talking. You can't see me, can you? You look at me, and you can't see me. Have you any idea what that's like? I'm not on the phone. I'm standing right here, in front of you. Please, just see me." He knows he sounds like he's begging as his eyes come to snap towards her, but he can't find it in himself to care right now.
The Doctor doesn't want to be alone. He's brand new and he doesn't trust himself, doesn't know what kind of man he is yet. He can't stand the thought of going through that alone again. He's done it more times than he would have liked. He just needs the warm assurance of Clara.
She's studying him now. Then, her lips quirk into a smile, and he finally allows himself a breath. She knows.
"Thank you," she says.
"For what?" he asks.
"For phoning," she told him, and he feels like smiling, too.
…..
Later, as they realized they were in Glasgow, and Clara requested coffee, they were seated across from each other.
Clara was still staring at him, but it wasn't the same stares she had been giving him, like she was wondering where he had taken her best friend. No, this was a stare of knowing the person in front of you, but amiring a new haircut or new clothes.
HIs fingers curled around the warm coffee cup, he watched the steam lift into the air in ribbons. He still couldn't bring himself to look at Clara.
His feelings were getting into dangerously close territory, like they had for Rose. He was trying to squash them down while he had the chance, but he wasn't succeeding. It was true, what he told Amy Pond all those years ago.
The first face he saw when he regenerated was seared onto his hearts. Clara's more than Amy, after everything that happened prior to this new face.
Suddenly, his eyes snapped up to hers. "I was serious about not being a hugging person," he told her forcefully.
Hugs will only lead to uneccesary thoughts about his companion, thoughts that had been buried forever as far as he was concerned after Rose.
"And like I said, I don't think you've got much of a vote," Clara retorted, eyes glinting mischeviously.
She had missed their banter.
"I should be getting a vote," he said roughly. "Seeming as how it's my body."
"Your body, but you're my best friend," she pointed out. "And I'm the hugging type."
"I've noticed," he mumbled moodily, eyes straying downwards towards the coffee again.
"Are you alright?" she asked, moving her hand to cover his.
He tensed, but not for the reasons she thought as Clara pulled away with a look of hurt.
"Yeah, 'course I am," he brushed her off.
"Don't think I'm so bloody stupid," Clara chastised. "I know when you're upset, no matter what you look like."
"It was just-" the Doctor paused, sighing. "A trying day, Clara. I'm extremely tired."
"Maybe because you haven't taken a sip of your coffee," she teased, poking her tongue out.
His breath caught. She really shouldn't be doing that. "Yes, well. Alright."
The Doctor lifted the coffee to his lips slowly, smelling it carefully as if checking for acid, and sipped the liquid.
It was...quite good, if he was honest to himself. Clara had just gotten him a plain black coffee, as neither of them had been sure if he needed any cream or sugar, but he was finding the strength was just what he needed to clear his head.
"Does it need anything?" she asked, studying him.
"No," he asured her. "It's perfect, actually."
Her lips quirked into a smile. "Should have figured you'd be a black coffee man."
He scowled at her, but it was good naturedly. "What's that supposed to mean, Ms. Oswald?"
"Just that old men don't like sweet things," she pointed out.
"Oh," he drawled out his o, finding he quite liked the roll of his accent. "Don't be so sure about that." He took another sip of his coffee and smirked at her.
Her jaw had dropped open, but Clara quickly recovered. "Is that supposed to mean you like a cheesecake or something?"
His smirk dropped. "Of course," he said smoothly. "Dessert is great, Clara. Fancy getting us a piece of pie?"
"What kind?" she challenged.
He thought. "Whatever you think, boss." He said, focusing his gaze on her.
She blinked a few times. "Right, okay. Apple it is, and you can hand over the money for that as well."
"Clara," he protested. "This is so domestic. I already paid for coffee. Are you trying to kill me?"
She sighed. "Fair enough. One day at a time, Time Lord. I'll get the pies, then. Don't wander off!" she finished sincerely, with a waggle of her finger.
He mock saluted her and she spun around to walk towards the counter.
The Doctor sighed. He had to get himself under control.
