Disclaimer: I own neither Ed, Edd, n' Eddy, The Gorillaz, nor Night of the Were-Eds. If I did they probably wouldn't be as great as they are now.
Summer time once again. This was the time the Eds dreamed of, when they worked best. Yes, Double D adored his school work, but that didn't stop him from enjoying himself. A bit slower on the scams once and awhile, perhaps, but he could deal with it.
It was a beautiful sunny day out, everyone was having a fun time. Kevin was showing off for Nazz once again, Jonny was in a game of Checkers. Looked like Plank was ahead once again. Jimmy and Sarah were having a picnic on Jimmy's front lawn, and Rolf was in his farm area, tending to some of the crops.
And, of course, Eddy was hatching yet another plan to get some cash. It wasn't his usual though, ever since the Big Accident he was actually avoiding scamming the Cul-De-Sac kids. Most of the time, anyways.
"Ed's getting the boxes now, Double D. Have you got the labels and everything?" The shortest Ed asked, a roll of rope in his hand.
"Yes Eddy, I have them." Double D said, holding out the three labels. "I still don't understand what your plan is though, what is it that we need all these postage stamps for?"
"Simple, Sock head. We're mailing ourselves to the King Kong Horror Movie Studios. Actors make big bucks and I figure we're loads better than most of those Hasbeens."
"Mailing...? Eddy, surely you don't mean it, we're just kids! Not even teenagers yet! How do you expect us to make a living out there on the streets of Hollywood?!" Double D spoke a mile a minute. Eddy had had some crazy idea, but mailing themselves out of the Cul-De-Sac? They'd go farther than their previous adventure.
"What's the big deal, Sock Head? They make those movies in like a week and then give a huge pay off the all the workers," Eddy told the smartest of the Eds. He acted like it was some of the easiest work ever. "Besides, you and Ed have a secret weapon for the horror flicks."
Double D was gobsmacked. Eddy expected them to use their... "And what about our parents, Eddy?" Double D said, trying to appeal to some other part of Eddy. "I have to watch the home while Mother and Father are away on business, what if I miss their calls? What if something happens?!" Double D exclaimed. He always made sure to check in with his mother and father, given their frequency out of the house.
Eddy wasn't paying much attention anymore. Double D always acted this way when he had a big scheme, and everything turns out alright in the end. Looking off to the side, he saw Ed and smiled. Signalling to his, Ed dropped three boxes of varying sizes right down. The smallest on the the right, the tallest to the left, and the medium sized box dropped right onto Double D's head, knocking him out.
"Nice work, Ed, now did you grab the rest of the stuff?" Eddy asked, looking to the tallest of his buddies.
"Sure did Eddy, got some snacks, some comics, my toothbrush, my TV, my video games, and my fancy sack scratcher." Ed listed them all off, dropping each item still held in his hands.
He had quite a few snacks, Soda, Water, Bags of chips and candy bars, and a lot of bananas. "For King Kong," he says. He had stacks and stacks of comics along with his giant TV and console. His toothbrush, well it was more of a toilet brush really. Then the final item...
"This is a guitar, Monobrow," Eddy told him, picking up the "Back Scratcher". It was an acoustic guitar, and a pretty nice one, considering it was in Ed's possession. It was a dark brown color with all the strings on, though a bit loose. Ed didn't seem to care much as he started loading his things into the biggest box.
"Alright, Ed, get Double D into his box once you're finished. And throw the snacks and stuff in with him, I don't want to eat something that smells like your jacket." Eddy advised, taking the labels from his unconscious pal.
Starting with the shortest box, he slapped on the first word label. 'King.' Eddy though that fit nicely. 'Kong,' went onto the medium box, then 'Horror' on the tallest. He started back at the shortest, slapping 'Movies' on, and then 'Studios' on the medium, finishing it up.
Ed had already climbed into his box, and Double D along with all of the food and Ed's "Back Scratcher" were stuffed into the medium box. Eddy helped nail their crates shut, tying all three together and hopping into the smallest. The boxes stood at the street corner for only a few minutes before the mail man came by, loading them into the truck. They were all quiet since people weren't supposed to be shipped like this, and Double D was still asleep.
However, Eddy isn't as good at tying knots as he thought he was. Halfway to the post office, the bumps in the road made the knots come undone. Worse, the mailman didn't notice, and after the next few stops he was on a direct route for the post office.
"Ergh, darn latch. Always sticks, it's gonna fly open one of these days..." He said when he had trouble sealing the back door. It was only done half as well as he should have done it, and he just hoped he got back to the post office without incident.
Things are never so simple with the Eds around, though. The door flew open on a rather large pothole, and when the rear wheels hit the same hole, the boxes bounced right towards the open. Ed's flew out first, followed by Eddy's.
Double D's got caught, though, as the back door flew back down, catching his crate in the middle. A brake at a stoplight caused Edd to slide back in and the door to close once again.
Meanwhile, Ed and Eddy had both broken out of their crates once they hit the road pavement. Getting up from the pile of splintered wood, Eddy looked around and saw Ed.
"Are we there yet, Eddy?" The big oaf asked.
"No, Monobrow, I think we fell out. Darn stupid knots, I swore I tied them right, must be shoddy rope." Eddy muttered to himself. Ed looked around the street for their third pal.
"Where's Double D, Eddy?" Ed asked, noting that it was only them two around.
"We probably lost him earlier on, come on, let's walk back. We'll try something else once we find him," Eddy said, helping Ed pick up his comics.
The postman continued on, he had a busy day after all. Had to make sure all the packages shipped out to the right place. He got out of his van and was happy to see the back was still closed, but when he got out the box containing Double D, he scratched his head.
"Great, another person doesn't even put the address of where their stuff's going." He said, a bit peeved. He began moving the other packages before doing a little research to find where the heck these people meant to send this thing, whatever it was. There wasn't even a return address to drop it back of at.
After a little while he found a hit, all the way in Europe. It was on a website called . "Kong Studios, huh? Well they've got all the stamps required. Better send it along that way." He said, making a label with the actual address of this so-called abandoned studio.
Once it was all squared away, he sent the crate on its way with another van on the way to the airport. "Express Shipment," he told the driver. The amount of stamps someone caked on this thing must have meant they needed it there fast.
The van traveled straight to the airport and dropped it off with other express shipments in the area. It'd be an overnight shipment on the big Fed-Ex plane.
Meanwhile, inside the box Double D was still out cold. He had taken some heavy hits from his buddy's accidents before but this one was particularly bad. He had a good sized lump over his head, and he wasn't showing any signs of stirring.
His little home away from home traveled quickly, a few hours in the cargo hold of the plane, right into a van once it reached London. It traveled quickly into a more remote area, the delivery man wasn't too keen on getting close to this place. As soon as he drove up the muck covered hill, passed the eerie graveyard he was sure he saw people within, he threw the box onto the doorstep and booked it out of there.
Double D finally stirred a bit after an hour of being at the front door of this giant building. He had been asleep for near 24 hours by this point. And as he stirred, the door to the building opened. He heard a deep voice say something, though it was a bit muffled. He was still very groggy. He felt the box move, and he was sure he was inside. He had hear rain and thunder a moment ago and now it was gone.
Hearing some activity outside the box, he was sure it was arguing. The Ed was sure of it. There was an accent to their speaking, British definitely. He heard some splintering wood, though, and saw cracks of light. A crowbar had been shoved into the side of the crate and pulled the front off.
The Ed tumbled out, the food and guitar falling out with him. Still dazed, ears ringing a bit, Eddward stood up shakily.
He saw three individuals in the room with him, a pale, lanky 20-something year old with azure blue hair and black voids for eyes, an olive skinned man with an inverted cross hanging from his neck, and a large black man with white eyes, no pupil or color to be seen.
"Great, I'm not dealing with some runt aroun' here. Get rida' him." The man with the cross said.
"Ease up, Mudz, he ain't looking too hot." The largest man said. Edd took a shaky step forward, rubbing his head.
"I'm sorry, sirs, but..." The lone Ed began, "Would any of you happen to know who and where I am?"
There's the first chapter, duckies. Hope you stick around for more.
