Waltzing with Matilda
To anyone who didn't know her well, Caroline Elliot came across as a stand-offish, career driven, workaholic who was self-centred at best and uncaring at worst. But her colleague Kate had watched the busy headmistress from afar for months and had probably studied her more intensely than was appropriate. All did not appear to be well and as Kate had developed something of a soft spot for the older woman, she was determined to find out what the trouble was. It started innocently enough as Kate visited Caroline in her office at random and opportune moments. If she brought coffee, a packet of biscuits or chocolate bar with her to share then it was pure coincidence that she happened to have spares lying around. She had intended to make the misery-etched lines on Caroline's face disappear with laughter and a few moments of light hearted nonsense chat. Kate hadn't realised that what she in fact had been doing was courting the unhappy headmistress and slowly but surely falling in love. And from very early on it was apparent that there was something more than friendship from Caroline's side too, but Kate had a difficult time trying to work it out in-between her self-centred ranting. And then one day Caroline summoned Kate to her office in a state of hyper rambling that made her wonder if she'd overdosed on caffeine before she'd left the house.
"He's left me, gone, packed up his stuff and gone to live with that drunken floozy." Kate's mouth opened and closed a few times, half trying to get a word in edgeways and half still unsure of exactly what to say. As usual she allowed her friend to carry on, not that she actually had much choice in the matter. "Do you know what this means?" Kate shook her head despite having a fair idea that a divorce was probably on the cards and perhaps the large house with granny flat would have to go on the market. She'd been there herself and it wasn't a pleasant experience, despite the fact that her marriage had ended on mutual terms. "I'm free…I'm free." Caroline repeated it like a mantra and her face became lighter the more she said it. But she was almost delirious with the wonder of it and Kate didn't think she could be more confused by her beautiful yet infuriating colleague. Caroline had spent these last few months complaining about her husband's infidelity, how much of bastard he was and how much she hated him. However she had always staunchly declared that she would stay with him because that's what she felt was right. Before Kate could think much more of it Caroline had stopped her manic pacing and had appeared right in front of her. The older woman reached out and cradled Kate's face in her hands. She looked her right in the eye and Kate's heart sped up so much that she thought it would thump right out of her chest. Caroline's expressive blue eyes were wide with excitement and were the last thing she saw clearly before her friend's mouth latched onto hers in a searing kiss. Kate's pent up passion for Caroline overthrew any nagging doubt or rationality in her head and she kissed back with everything she had. Caroline's hands tangled in Kate's hair to bring their mouths impossibly closer before she gave up on that idea and pulled Kate's whole body flush against hers by her waist. Kate had a debate with herself about where to put her own hands in case she ruined the moment by doing something wrong, so fickle was her friend. But she didn't want Caroline to think that she didn't want this and that she wasn't enjoying it either so she ran her hands up the older woman's back from her hips and pulled her tighter still. Their mouths matched each other's kiss for kiss before Kate grew bold and slipped her tongue inside Caroline's. She wasn't disappointed as the usually stoic headmistress met the challenge and her tongue duelled back with fervour. Unfortunately there came a point when they had to pause to catch their breaths and the moment was broken. They stood apart, staring at each other and panted heavily as shock reflected in both of their faces. Kate instantly went on the defensive and tried to apologise but Caroline held her hand up in protest. She perched on the edge of her desk as she took a couple of deep breaths to enable her to speak before she responded.
"Don't say you're sorry, I was the one who kissed you. If anyone should be apologising it it's me." Kate could see that embarrassment was beginning to creep in and that was the last thing she wanted her friend to feel. How could she make her understand?
"Do you…regret it?" Caroline shook her head vehemently.
"No, not at all." Kate was visibly relieved that she was being honest.
"Good, because I don't. In fact I've been waiting for you to do that for weeks." Caroline smiled broadly and let out a chuckle.
"I've been wanting to do that for weeks." They both laughed together and Kate bridged the gap between them, coming to stand in between Caroline's legs in front of her desk. She reached out and ran her hands through Caroline's thick blonde locks. She desperately wanted to remain in physical contact with the older woman now that she'd had a taste of what it felt like. She kissed her forehead before she nuzzled her nose against Caroline's. They were rudely interrupted by the bell. Caroline must have jumped almost six feet in the air, unceremoniously pushing Kate sideways.
"Oh god, assembly. I should be there by now!" Caroline scrabbled around for her gown and Kate watched on dejectedly. But before she could be told to leave, Caroline lifted her sorrowful face up and kissed her gently. "I'm sorry we haven't got time to discuss this, but we will, I promise you." Kate smiled up at her and nodded.
"Thank you." Caroline left her colleague was another gentle kiss and hopefully no room for doubt that she wanted to pursue whatever this was between them.
Caroline and Kate spent the following few weeks and months much the same as they had done before the kiss but there was an extra closeness, a familiar ease between them that hadn't been there before. They cuddled and kissed softly during breaks over tea and chocolate and Kate sat and patiently listened to Caroline as she poured out her heart over her split from John or stress at work. Kate pushed any niggling doubts about Caroline's feelings for her to the back of her mind. So what if she never really asked what was going on in her life or if she had anything she needed to talk about? Caroline must feel something for her otherwise she wouldn't have been willing to risk everything by even having these secret rendezvous in the first place. There was only one other time when Caroline jad lunged for her friend, although Kate had been thinking a lot about that lately and realised that 'friends' wasn't exactly an accurate term to describe what they were to each other but 'lovers' was possibly pushing it as they hadn't actually done anything except for cuddle and kiss when they could grab a few moments together. The boys had been to see their dad and had come home very upset by the event. William in particular but he had tried to be grown up and brave about the whole thing to help make his mum feel better. Caroline had seen through his mask and he'd broken down in her arms. Her seventeen year old boy had been reduced to tears and angst because of his selfish sodding father! Caroline had felt so guilty for causing her sons such pain she had needed reassurance and comfort and found it in Kate's open and willing arms. They had only just crossed the line into physical territory as Caroline's thigh had wedged itself between Kate's legs and was doing a very good job of making her pant and gasp in barely concealed pleasure. Kate had managed to pop open the buttons on Caroline's shirt and her fingers had just reached her nipples through her bra covered breasts when the older woman put and abrupt stop to proceedings. She hadn't immediately pulled away, so Kate had taken it as a good sign but she hadn't wanted to continue either. They dressed and tidied themselves up slowly, with the odd kiss and caress here and there but mostly in silence.
"It's not that I don't want to," Caroline had whispered cautiously "It's just…too soon and not the right place." Kate hardly thought that it was too soon, they had been pseudo-dating for four months and mostly kissed with a few cuddles, not too much different from being very close friends if she was completely honest. And Caroline had asked for none of the emotional intimacy that Kate had afforded the headmistress back which was hardly a good basis for a relationship was it? But the older woman had been upset earlier so perhaps she had just needed a different day and another place to feel completely comfortable about things? Perhaps an actual date was long overdue and an invitation back to her place afterwards wouldn't go down too badly either?
Kate never got the chance to test her theory as the following weekend John had turned up back that Caroline's house and Kate had been unceremoniously dumped in the aftermath.
