You guys remember in the movie Mulan when Mushu wakes from his stone form and he just rises from the smoke screaming "I live!"? Well, that's what I feel like. It's been a while, I know. I hope I've replied to all the reviews I've neglected since, like, September. If not, let me know!

So this is Stockholm it is my foray into the Sam/Leah/Emily fiasco. It's only canon compliant, I believe, until Leah and Seth phase, but I make no guarantees on how this thing will end. For those of you Sam/Leah 'shippers I believe Stealth_Liberal probably has a petition going at this point... Feel free to ship war it up, y'all. Play nice.

If it gets to be more than a month between updates get the torches and pitchforks and hunt me down. Seriously.

Word to the wise: this isn't going to be pretty; I cried a lot and listend to way too much 90s grunge while writing this. This is a re-imagining of what I think would REALLY happen to people that had to deal with a phenomenon like imprinting. The idea of Stockholm Syndrome and the title itself is important. Keep that in mind when you read.

Nothing is sacred.


Stockholm syndrome: a psychological response of a hostage or an individual in a situation in which the more dominant person has the power to put the victim's life in danger.


My name is Samuel Levi Uley and I am a piece of shit.

Hi Sam.

Thanks guys. I appreciate that.

There are some days when you really reflect on who you are and what you do and sometimes the results surprise you. I've come to a point in my life where I don't think about a lot of things. Because there are a lot of things that I could think about from now until the second coming and none of them would be healthy. And I've got a lot of shit to do in the meantime.

Mostly I think in lists. Because my life and my Pack moves at a pace that doesn't allow me to form full thoughts, just bullet points. Pack is probably the thing I think about most. And Emily.

1. Pack
2. Emily
3. Hungry
4. Really fucking hungry
5. Leah
6. Need to take a piss/shit/chill pill/nap
7. Paul (and his anger issues), Jared (and the probability of him getting his imprint pregnant), Embry (and his potential to work himself into total psychosis if he doesn't figure out who the fuck his dad is, like, yesterday)

Yes. My ex girlfriend does outrank a majority of my bodily functions when it comes to thought space. This is kinda part of my problem.

Plus, I have three other guys to keep track of. This really weird part of my head loves those idiots. I can't help it. I'm their Alpha. However another really big part of me is worried as shit. I'm not gonna lie when I say that Paul scares me a little bit. That kid is jacked. His rage transmission is in near permanent overdrive and I have no idea why. He lives alone with his dad - who is a pretty stand up guy - and as far as I can tell no one has shafted him, insulted his honor, stolen his soul, or dropped a house on his sister. The fact that I live inside his head and still have no idea why he's like the personification of a monster truck rally is what freaks me out.

I'm pretty sure the only thing Jared does is patrol and have sex. I make this kid patrol a lot. We all patrol a lot. However, again, with the whole sharing brain space thing - I know from Jared's complete lack of mental filter (his verbal filter is only marginally better, probably mostly because it doesn't have visuals) that he and Kim are having a lot of sex. And in a lot of weird places. I am getting so many unwelcome mental images of Kim Connweller that I really have no polite way to tell to him to shut that shit down and when the hell is he sleeping, eating, or breathing?

Embry is a whole other basket of clusterfuck, and I actually feel for the kid. He knows now that his paternal prospects are limited and as much as he just doesn't want to know, he really wants to know. Which is an issue for the two upstanding fathers (one of them dead already) of his two closet friends. A very large part of me just wants to tell him that we're half brothers and be done with it. To hell with truth of it. But his constant inner dialogue is laced entirely with anxiety and borderline hysteria. If he found out I had lied to him, he'd probably lose his shit. If there was anyone that never should have phased, it was Embry Call. He's way to self-reflective. I've been trying to encourage him to think in lists.

Jacob Black has been showing signs of the phase. And while it'd be great to have another nose on the ground, and I can't wait to kick his ass for telling Bella the tribal legends, I also really don't want someone else to worry about. I can barely handle my own shit. I need to try to balance my current Pack. So in the meantime, I'm all aboard the Bella Swan train. This train involves my mentally cheering for her presence on this reservation near constantly, because Jacob thinks the sun shines out of her ass and that keeps him human. I am Bella Swan's number one fan, right now.

And then there's Emily. And Leah. Needless to say, my life is beyond fucked up.