After all
~*~ sequal to "fates twisting hands"
By: Kathy M. Kidman
Disclaimer: Must I repeat myself eternally?
AN: I can't believe you guys actually liked that Song Fic. And best of all i now have 2 people to thank. Queen of Hearts.. Kenobi, and Allison * you both helped me..whether ya know it or not. *
Well you guys wanted a sequal, so your gunna get one, I hope it's as good as the first. I'm pretty sure we ALL know how this is going to end, but at the rate I've been writing, well let's just say plot twists run ramped in my stories lately..
So well..enjoy. *gets an evil smirk as she starts to type*
*********************************************************
Looking at the clock beside my bed it glared a deep red. " 1:34.." I rubbed my eyes slightly. It was too freaken early to be awake.
and I tryed to get bac kto sleep, but the room, so big--so empty made me, to tell the truth paranoid.
Well, since I'm not going to be getting any sleep soon.. " forget this." and I got up, threw on my purple silk robe, to match the night gown and walked downstairs.
As I looked around my hallways I realized just how lonely this house really was. " why can I just get some small sign that he's even alive.." I muttered to myself as I stumbled around in the dark.
It'd been a good 6 months since my visit to America. I was back in paris, atleast for the time being, I had a spurt of long inspiration about 3 months ago, and wrote a good 30 poems to add to the 10 or 20 I already had. I spent like 2 weeks staying up late into the night writing.
My inspiration--what else?! of course, Arnold.
I owe my fame to him. And Cheyenne but mostly him..
hello! those poems I've written like 200 poems all about love, hope, and Arnold.
As I was talking the other day, I realized just how much of a French accent I'd recieved from my 14 years here.
I spent a good 3 hours wandering the halls and thinking. Well at about 4:30 I turned on the T.V and started to walk around the room, to grab a cup of tea.
But catching the tail end of the news I was pulled from any thoughts of the signing in two months.
" And now in the news, the Gracowski's have finally cured the desease that wreaked havok across the mountains of Guam, their son 'Arnold' had this to say."
At the word Arnold I slammed into the wall and saw momentary stars, before that is, shooting up and over to the couch, sitting down I watched as the screen turned to a 'VERY' handsome young man. One I hadn't seen in 14 years, one I'd longed to see, hold.. Shaking my head as he started to talk I noticed how much he'd changed.
From the short, sweet, half lit green eyed love I'd always admired in my youth. To a tall (about my height) still half lit green eyed, man whom..looked very good in that explorer get up. His hair was down after just taking off a big explorers hat (AN: I seriously can't think of the name right now..).
Ugh I could have died an gone to heaven! but I was shaken from my thoughts when he started to talk again.
" Well I'll just be glad to finally get back to America, I really miss the old town, and all my friends, in two months I'll be back."
His voice was so---wait did he say two months? that's when my book signing starts in Holland!
" No.." and at that I clicked off the T.V and shot out of the room.
I don't care how early it was, I had phone calls to make, people to yell at..
A dream to live out.
~@~ ~@~ ~@~ ~@~ ~@~ ~@~ ~@~ ~@~ ~@~
It took me a solid month to actually carve out the details and re-schedule my book signing, granted I lost Jerry Frederick ( The man who if only handling the details of my business, thinks he's the best thing to happen to man since the internet. ) a good million dollars.
Pitty him..* not *
So for the next month or so, I spent my time consulting Cheyenne, packing, getting Jerry to STOP calling me with his complaints and finally getting the Tickets and everything ready, I was NOT going alone back to America this time. Well cheyenne had never been out of France, so she wanted to come with me.
So, the day we were leaving for the airport I stopped by to pick her up.
" Hey Chey!" I honked the horn.
Smiling Cheyenne ran up to the car and put her stuff in the trunk.
" Are you ready?" I asked in french, since she had trouble with English still.
Well we had a good 20 minute drive to the airport so I put the radio on.
A really sad song drifted to my ears and I sighed. Fidning myself drifting in and out of thought.
Once we reached the airport we had a good hour to kill, so after our luggage was taken and everything was finished we boarded 1st class and chatted till take off.
" Cheyenne! I am so excited, I'll finally be able to see my beloved soon!" I exclaimed and boy was I fidgety.
"Calm down child, you're acting like a school girl, giddy and hyper.." she replied smiling.
I giggled. "Well I feel like one." the I paused.
Was he expecting to see me? Would he have a girlfriend? Would he still love me?...what would he think.
"Oh Chey, maybe this isn't such a good idea.." I whispered sadly.
"What do you mean Helga?" she asked turning to me.
"Well, we haven't in 14 years. Could he honestly have loved me, for so long even? I mean I--I don't know.."
She looked at me with understanding eyes. "Aw Helga, everything will be just fine. If your hearts are meant to be, then nothing will stand in your way."
Sighing I layed back in my seatm and thought as we took off.
But by the time we actually landed I had drifted off to sleep and Chey had to shake me for 2 minutes to get me up. "Helga wake UP!"
I blinked twice and realized it was almost 10:30 at night here. Sighing I stumbled up. "Oh gods..it's late.."
She smiled. "We just traveled cross atleast 5 time-zones (beat me with a stick if that's wrong..) of course you'd be tired, and of course it's late, so let's get to a hotel now. We can see your friend in the morning." she grinned and helped me make it off the plane.
And slowly we trudged through the airport, hailed a cab and started towards the Royal Inn. Rather flashy if you ask me, but at the time I could have cared less.
Once there I passed out on my bed. Dress, shoes, jewlery and all. And this time Chey couldn't get me up. So she let me sleep.
I almost wish she would have woken me up...
~* When I woke up I had a splitting headache, but put it off to jet lag. today I was going to see my beloved cornflower haired angel! After 14 years of missin him (2 of which got me depression and Anemia) I was finally going to see him.
I took a quick shower and then through my hair into a pony tail, put on a long pink skirt that fell to my ankles, Black boots that came just below my knees and a white blouse. 6 technicolor braclets on my left wrist, and 4 on the other, some make up and of course my lucky star earrings.
Since I had woken up at almost Noon Cheyenne was out, probably exploring the city. *pray she didn't get lost..* So I hailed a cab and drove to Sunset Arms.
Once there I put on my best, and bravest smile and marched up the stairs. But when I knocked on the door nobody answered.
"Huh..that's strange, he was supposed to be home by now. Where would he be? " I thought aloud and started back down the stairs, and wandered the old city for an hour or so.
After a while I ran into somebody. None other than Curly..
" Why hello Ms. Pataki, such a pleasure to see you again. Though I thought you'd be in Holland for your 3rd book signing." he grinned and I rolled my eyes. "Come back for the Welcome Home party?"
"Party? for who?" I asked blankly.
" FOR WHO?!? who else!! Arnold of course, geesh. It's at the Cosmic Inn downtown tonight at 8:30. Be there.." and he ran off.
" Cosmic in...party..ok." and I got another cab to take me back to the Royal Inn.
" Cheyenne! You here?" I burst into the room and she looks up from her book.
" Well hello stranger." She says and smiles. " Did you see him? how'd it go?"
I shake my head. " He's getting in tonight at the Cosmic Inn downtown. There's going to be a big party for him." I said happily.
" Well then we'll just have to go now won't we? Do you know what time?" she asked.
" Now, Curly said something about it..8:30 I believe.." I said slowly.
" Ah...ok then we have a good what 4, 5 hours?" she said looking at the clock on the wall saying 3 oclock. " So what's say we go get you something to wear, shall we not?"
I nodded. " Let's go!" and dragged her out of the room and we headed for the city in her car that finally arrived.
After 4 1/2 hours of searching and searching, and trying on outfit after outfit I finally had the perfect thing..
A strapless black sequinned dress that fell to just below my kness and flaired. I also bought knee high zipped black leather boots and left my hair down, which left it to about an inch above my waiste. and had on 6 technicolor braclents on either wrist. 2 earrings in my left ear and 3 in my right. *strange huh?*
Cheyenne smiled at me then looked herself over, she also got dressed up, and boy was she decked.. Red Strapless dress falling just above her knee's with black red ankle zip up boots, and 10 braclets on each arm (technicolor that is..) Her hair aws pulled back to a waiste length French braid showing 4 earrings on each ear.
I grinned and she smiled as we started for the Royal Inn. It would be a 40 minute ride. Well 40 minutes of pure torture for me.
As I thought about it, the way I dressed, I looked like one of those fiction authors. Technicolor bracelets, wild earrings, fancy outfits. Staying on that track I thought about how wild my life had been. I could write a book on my life, or maybe romance novels. But of course keep my poetry alive and kicken.
Actually, getting on the thought of poetry, I felt the sudden urge to write now..So I pulled out the notebook I always carried around with me and from my spot in the passangers seat, began to write more poetry. What I was best at.
Finally we got there, and boy was I a messs. I felt as if I could pass out from nervousness, I fidgeted with my hair, braclets or anything loose.
Cheyenne looked over at me and smiled reassuringly though I'd have to admit even she looked anxious, probably for me.
I looked at everybody around me, and saw Rhonda, Stinky, Sid, Eugene, Sheena, Nadine..and all the others. And suddenly I felt so out of place. Most hadn't noticed me, but those who did either didn't recognize me or were looking at me then gossiping.
I blushed furiously and backed into a waiter and muttered a french apology. That was another thing, after 14 years in the place I picked up not only the language, but an accent to boot. After apologizing I took two steps back causing Cheyenne to look at me.
" Child, what is the matter?" she asked seeing the fear in my eyes.
I backed up more and in my french accented English spoke, holding back tears. " I don't belong here Cheyenne--I've been gone way too long to even think about considering this place my home." I said.
She scoffed. " Please dear. this is your home!. Your first loves home.." she said softly.
Suddenly a burst of Applause hit the room and everybody shouted. " Welcome back!!" or " Congradulations!!" while I slunk back to the wall and sighed.. I saw a familiar football shaped head coming this way and felt as if I should say something.
Then he looked at me, and I froze in my spot, eyes wide and mouth slightly ajar. ' great pakati, make yourself look like an even bigger fool infront of him..' I chided and shut my mouth, but couldn't help but stare..
Though I don't think he recognized me either..because he turned away when somebody called his name..
I fell into the chair behind me and sighed. "Not even a smile..an acknowledgement of my exsistance.." I said and tears threatened once more to fall down my face.
Cheyenne came over and sat down next to me a worried look on her face. " Helga, what's the matter what happened??"
I messed with my hair and sniffled slightly. " He didn't even recognize me, didn't even acknowledge I exsisted. It's like--I don't know, maybe he didn't love me, maybe I held on to something that was never there Chey.." I said and buried my head in my hands.
Only to be grabbed by the wrist and pulled to my feet. " I will not have this from you Helga Geraldine Pataki. For the 8 years I've known you, all you've talked about is how much you love him, how much you would give just to see him again. To talk to him. Then 5 months ago you found a letter from him telling you he loved you. You cannot tell me, after 20 years of your life you are giving up on him. Your obsession, the 'angel who keeps you on this very earth..'." She said and dragged me through the crowd. " I will not have this from you. Now come on, we are going to talk to him." she said and a few people looked at us, some smiled some didn't..
I muttered a few hello's and blushed.
Then I heard two people talking and without even looking up from my spot on the floor knew who they were.. Arnold and Gerald.
Still friends after all these years, amazing.
I looked up and pulled my arm from Cheyenne. " I'm not 4 years old." I snapped and they both looked at me with a blank look..
" Um.." I gulped and looked at them, smiled nervously and they exchanged glances..
" Have we met?" asked Arnold.
" I--" I started only to be interrupted by Cheyenne.
" Have you met? Are you kidding..don't you remember her?" she asked.
" Chey.." I whispered fiercely.
" Remember her, um you.." he looked at me. " Should I?"
I backstepped and almost into another waiter. Why was I so darned nervous! I felt like the old, insecure 9 year old I was once before.
But I shook my head. " Yes, you should--I wasn't, I mean--we were...I." I stopped to try to pull together a decent thought.
" It's me. Helga..pataki that is.." I stumbled out.
Arnolds eyes widened and Geralds jaw dropped.
And I blushed furiously.
" HELGA?!" they both exclaimed at once.
I nodded softly. " Who'd you think I was football head...Lila.." I said smiling softly.
" Helga--it is you.." suddenly his look turned from one of surprise to one of tenseness..something was wrong.
Gerald still had an awe-struck look in his eyes. " Wow...scuse me for this, but helga, you're a babe.."
I laughed. " Well, that's what 14 years of living in France gets you, that and this terribly annoyin' French accent."
He chuckled and somebody else walked up next to him, then looked at me and her eyes widened.." Helga.." she breathed..
I almost didn't recognize her. But when I saw the long blue dress and black hair..I knew her instantly as the girl who was once my best friend. " Phoebe.."
And she squeeled and pulled me into a hug. " Helga!! oh I missed you so much!! when you didn't come back after the 4 years, I got worried..but I knew you'd come back.." she said and looked me over. " Well, I see we've changed a bit.." then she looked to Cheyenne..
" Who's this?"
Cheyenne smiled and curtsied. " My name is Cheyenne Lakota.."
I grinned. " So how are you?"
" I'm fine Helga, me and Gerald just got married 8 months ago and everythings great.." exclaimed phoebe showing me her ring and I smiled.
" That's great Phoebe, Hair boy..Gerald. Congradulations.." then I looked to Arnold who had a very, VERY nervous look in his eyes.
" Arnold is something wrong?" I asked.
" Wrong? Like---what.." he trailed off as a girl called out his name.
" Arnold!! Arnold, hey where were you..I missed you.." she said and kissed him on the cheek.
At this I got a strange look in my eyes.
" Oh.." she said looking at us..
She was beautiful..much more so than me. Shoulder length curly red hair, those sickening angel blue eyes. She was tall and slender, a good form..man everything I didn't have..suddenly I felt sick again. Felt Ugly, and betrayed..and sad.
In what voice I had left I looked between the two of them. " Arnold--umm.."
The girl interrupted me. " I'm Crystal..what's your name?" she asked batting her eye lashes as if to say, he's mine..
" Helga.." and I found myself losing grip on reality. I had to get out of there..
Cheyenne had a really evil look in her eyes, but got a worried look when she saw me start to falter. " Helga--are you ok?"
Gerald and Phoebe also had a strange look.
I wanted to die and just--get away from this earth, like so long ago..I felt the depression trying to edge it's way back into my life..
I blinked twice and I could faintly hear the words of a song start to play..
~~**~~
Ever since you've been leaving me I've been wanting to cry Now I know how it feels for you I've been wanting to die But it's much too late for goodbyes Yes it's much too late for goodbyes
~~**~~
I shook my head silently, tears breaking free and flowing down my face, " no.." whispered, my heart braking in two.
And I turned around, stumbled into two people dancing slowly, pushed them out of my way and started to run, tears blurring my vision.
I could faintly hear people calling me. " Helga stop!! come back, let me explain!!" and " Helga, please come back, you'll get hurt!"
I yelled back stopping at the door in the hallway. " I don't care anymore Cheyenne, the first time I fought this feeling, now I'll embrace it.." it ended in a whisper and I ran into the cold world, ready to be taken..
Finding the rain pouring down, I started to run, fast as I could, as fast as the tears in my eyes would let me, and as fast I could to keep myself from passing out. What I didn't see was that I ran out into the open street..
Voices shouted at me to get out of the way, I ignored them. I turned around and saw Cheyenne, Gerald, Phoebe...and Arnold yelling at me..I turned back around and saw what they were yelling at..I tried to get out of the way but I wasn't fast enough..
~~**~~
I've been wanting to die But it's much too late for goodbyes Yes it's much too late for goodbyes
~~**~~
The lights grew brighter and the horn honked..I closed my eyes to embrace my destiny.. *~
And suddenly I shot up in bed screaming, knocking over the nightstand next to my bed and almost falling out of it.
I looked at the clock/vcr and saw it was 12 oclock.. and Cheyenne was gone..it was a dream. No, a nightmare..was Arnold..I had to get to his house!!
So I got out of bed, took a quick shower, through on a jean skirt and blouse, technicolor bracelets and all...it felt familiar.
I hailed a cab and after what seemed like forever finally got to Sunset arms. " Thanks!" I rushed and payed and hoped out..only to collide with Curly.
" Oh.." " Yikes!" and we both fell over..
Picking up his bag then helping me up he smirked. "Well..fancy running into you M'lady." and he bowed. " here for the welcome back party?"
I opened my mouth to respond only to stop.. " P--party??" uh oh.." for who?"
He laughed. " For who!?!? oh that's rich! Arnold of course!!, it's at the Cosmic Inn at 8:30 tonight. Be there sista!" and he ran off.
I had to to lean against a light post to keep awake..it was happening again..only this time--it wasn't a dream.
So I hailed yet another cab and made him break the limit twice to get the Royal Inn. " Thanks..Keep the change!" I yelled and ran into the Hotel and then burst into the room to find Cheyenne watching T.V. " CHEYENNE!!" and she looked up startled.
"What ever is the matter??" she asked standing up and running over to me.
" It's..my dream--we have to get to the..I need a rest.." I said and sat down on my bed for a minute.
She nodded and got me a glass of water. " What's the matter? what happened that's got you all frazzled?"
I took the water and drank it then sighed. " It's nothing, but we have to get to the store, I have to get a dress, an outfit, and everything, there's a welcome home part for Arnold tonight." I said in a hurry..
She looked at me. " Ok..well do you know what time?"
I blinked. " 8:30 tonight, like in my dream.." I muttered.
She raised an eyebrow and then smirked. " well then we have a few hours, let's get you to the city to get dressed.." she said and we took off BACK to the city and got everything ready.
And again like before. it took a good 5 hours to get everything picked out. well 3 hours for me, 2 hours for her..
Finally we were ready, in the same outfits from my dream.
Well by the time 7:30 rolled around it was time to head for the Cosmic Inn.. again 40 minutes from the Royal Inn...
And boy was it torture for me. I spent most of the time worrying, the rest thinking, and the other few wringing my hands.
Once we got there I was a nervous wreck and Cheyenne had to practically drag me into the Hotel. "We did not spend $300 dollars for nothing child. Plus..this is the person you spent 20 years of your life fawning over. Do you expect me to allow you to chicken out and run away just cause your nervous? NO!! I will not. I will not watch you ruin your life again..you personally saw what it did to you..ms. size 6 1/2." she said staring at me.
But I was still nervous. very nervous. And as we walked in I saw all the old kids..well different but them. They all looked so amazing, I felt so out of place again. I didn't think I could do this.
Again that feeling of, I don't belong here, I never have and never will slipped into my mind.
Finally like before Cheers burst through the room and the yelling of " WELCOME BACK!" and "CONGRADULATIONS" followed..
I fell back to the wall and sighed. I couldn't do this..
Then I saw a familiar figure heading towards me through the crowd. I gulped and stood up. Then saw who he was with.. looked just like him only shorter. and her head wasn't football shaped..
But they veered off at the last minute as a slow dance started.
People started to dance and of course they did as well..I sighed.
So the dream was true..I couldn't stop it, and a few lone tears slipped down my cheeks. I missed the look Cheyenne and two others were giving me from the dance floor.
After the dance stopped the music for another one started and I recognized the tune. Peter Cetera's 'after all'. I felt like dying now.
But no time..I felt a hand on my arm and I gasped as I looked up to meet two of the most, adorable half lit green lit eyes I remembered from 14 years ago..and my heart caught in my throat.
I looked at him, and to the outstretched hand he held to me.
No words were exchanged, but I nodded softly and took his hand.
As he pulled me gently the dance floor the singing started..
~~**~~
Well, here we are again
I guess it must be fate
We've tried it on our own
But deep inside we've known We'd be back to set things straight ~~**~~
I felt so safe in his embrace..I looked at him, and he looked at me. A silent exchange of words. I knew that finally this was where I belonged, with him my love. My angel..
~~**~~
I still remember when
Your kiss was so brand new
Every memory repeats
Every step I take retreats
Every journey always brings me back to you
~~**~~
He looked lost in memory as well..or maybe just thought, but I found myself drifting to our school play back in 4th grade..and when I did that I saw a 23 year old Lila standing with a tall brown haired man smiling at us.. and it was then I realized it, we were the only two on the dance floor..but I didn't care anymore, the world could explode right now and I could care less.. I was with my destined one.
~~**~~ After All the stops and starts
We keep coming back to these two hearts
Two angels who've been rescued from the fall
After All that we've been through
It all comes down to me and you
I guess it's meant to be
Forever you and me, after all...
~~**~~
I looked back up at him and smiled. He spoke softly, just for my ears. "I told you I would wait, forever and a day. I found the note the poem..everything..Helga..I love you."
The words I'd waited 20 years to hear from his lips finally spoken to me. Thankfully he had such a strong grip because I almost passed out.
He wanted to be with me..forever as well..I couldn't help but wonder, then stopped thinking and just enjoyed this moment, the moment in the spot light. I just didn't want this to end, to be a dream that like awful nightmare of not too long ago. But if it was, I prayed I never woke up.
~~**~~
After All When love is truly right (This time it's truly right)
It lives from year to year
It changes as it goes
Oh, and on the way it grows
But it never disappears
After All the stops and starts
We keep coming back to these two hearts
Two angels who've been rescued from the fall
After All that we've been through
It all comes down to me and you
I guess it's meant to be
Forever you and me, after all
~~**~~
All around me, I felt as if I was floating as if I could fly. Reality seem to mix with the surreal, colors seem to blur. I lost myself in his eyes as we continued to dance in silence.. how could I have almost lost this angel on earth?
More important, why was I being aloud to have him? did I deserve this?
He smiled at me and whispered. " You deserve the world Helga.."
My eyes widened and he only smiled..
~~**~~
After All that we've been through
It all comes down to me and you
I guess it's meant to be Forever you and me,
After All
~~**~~
Then, it happened, he leaned in slightly, and like in the movies, just as the music stopped, I closed my eyes and experianced my first real kiss. Soft, yet passionate, gentle, yet affirming.
Our love as they say, was sealed with a kiss...
Once we broke apart there was silence, pure silence, accept for a few applause from one side of the room.. My friends..and that girl..
"My sister...crystal.." he muttered lovingly and as if on cue we both repeated the last lyrics. " I guess it's meant to be Forever you and me, after all.."
@}----- FINE -----{@
Wow..I finished..how was it? bad? good terrible?
I have one more person to thank. Kari gurl! my best friend.
I hope you like!!! BTW did I scare you with the dream sequence?
Keep a look out for me. I am getting inspiration from no where lately.. keep a look out for "And what if I said I loved you?" chapter 6: part 2!!
BYE PEOPLE!
~*~ sequal to "fates twisting hands"
By: Kathy M. Kidman
Disclaimer: Must I repeat myself eternally?
AN: I can't believe you guys actually liked that Song Fic. And best of all i now have 2 people to thank. Queen of Hearts.. Kenobi, and Allison * you both helped me..whether ya know it or not. *
Well you guys wanted a sequal, so your gunna get one, I hope it's as good as the first. I'm pretty sure we ALL know how this is going to end, but at the rate I've been writing, well let's just say plot twists run ramped in my stories lately..
So well..enjoy. *gets an evil smirk as she starts to type*
*********************************************************
Looking at the clock beside my bed it glared a deep red. " 1:34.." I rubbed my eyes slightly. It was too freaken early to be awake.
and I tryed to get bac kto sleep, but the room, so big--so empty made me, to tell the truth paranoid.
Well, since I'm not going to be getting any sleep soon.. " forget this." and I got up, threw on my purple silk robe, to match the night gown and walked downstairs.
As I looked around my hallways I realized just how lonely this house really was. " why can I just get some small sign that he's even alive.." I muttered to myself as I stumbled around in the dark.
It'd been a good 6 months since my visit to America. I was back in paris, atleast for the time being, I had a spurt of long inspiration about 3 months ago, and wrote a good 30 poems to add to the 10 or 20 I already had. I spent like 2 weeks staying up late into the night writing.
My inspiration--what else?! of course, Arnold.
I owe my fame to him. And Cheyenne but mostly him..
hello! those poems I've written like 200 poems all about love, hope, and Arnold.
As I was talking the other day, I realized just how much of a French accent I'd recieved from my 14 years here.
I spent a good 3 hours wandering the halls and thinking. Well at about 4:30 I turned on the T.V and started to walk around the room, to grab a cup of tea.
But catching the tail end of the news I was pulled from any thoughts of the signing in two months.
" And now in the news, the Gracowski's have finally cured the desease that wreaked havok across the mountains of Guam, their son 'Arnold' had this to say."
At the word Arnold I slammed into the wall and saw momentary stars, before that is, shooting up and over to the couch, sitting down I watched as the screen turned to a 'VERY' handsome young man. One I hadn't seen in 14 years, one I'd longed to see, hold.. Shaking my head as he started to talk I noticed how much he'd changed.
From the short, sweet, half lit green eyed love I'd always admired in my youth. To a tall (about my height) still half lit green eyed, man whom..looked very good in that explorer get up. His hair was down after just taking off a big explorers hat (AN: I seriously can't think of the name right now..).
Ugh I could have died an gone to heaven! but I was shaken from my thoughts when he started to talk again.
" Well I'll just be glad to finally get back to America, I really miss the old town, and all my friends, in two months I'll be back."
His voice was so---wait did he say two months? that's when my book signing starts in Holland!
" No.." and at that I clicked off the T.V and shot out of the room.
I don't care how early it was, I had phone calls to make, people to yell at..
A dream to live out.
~@~ ~@~ ~@~ ~@~ ~@~ ~@~ ~@~ ~@~ ~@~
It took me a solid month to actually carve out the details and re-schedule my book signing, granted I lost Jerry Frederick ( The man who if only handling the details of my business, thinks he's the best thing to happen to man since the internet. ) a good million dollars.
Pitty him..* not *
So for the next month or so, I spent my time consulting Cheyenne, packing, getting Jerry to STOP calling me with his complaints and finally getting the Tickets and everything ready, I was NOT going alone back to America this time. Well cheyenne had never been out of France, so she wanted to come with me.
So, the day we were leaving for the airport I stopped by to pick her up.
" Hey Chey!" I honked the horn.
Smiling Cheyenne ran up to the car and put her stuff in the trunk.
" Are you ready?" I asked in french, since she had trouble with English still.
Well we had a good 20 minute drive to the airport so I put the radio on.
A really sad song drifted to my ears and I sighed. Fidning myself drifting in and out of thought.
Once we reached the airport we had a good hour to kill, so after our luggage was taken and everything was finished we boarded 1st class and chatted till take off.
" Cheyenne! I am so excited, I'll finally be able to see my beloved soon!" I exclaimed and boy was I fidgety.
"Calm down child, you're acting like a school girl, giddy and hyper.." she replied smiling.
I giggled. "Well I feel like one." the I paused.
Was he expecting to see me? Would he have a girlfriend? Would he still love me?...what would he think.
"Oh Chey, maybe this isn't such a good idea.." I whispered sadly.
"What do you mean Helga?" she asked turning to me.
"Well, we haven't in 14 years. Could he honestly have loved me, for so long even? I mean I--I don't know.."
She looked at me with understanding eyes. "Aw Helga, everything will be just fine. If your hearts are meant to be, then nothing will stand in your way."
Sighing I layed back in my seatm and thought as we took off.
But by the time we actually landed I had drifted off to sleep and Chey had to shake me for 2 minutes to get me up. "Helga wake UP!"
I blinked twice and realized it was almost 10:30 at night here. Sighing I stumbled up. "Oh gods..it's late.."
She smiled. "We just traveled cross atleast 5 time-zones (beat me with a stick if that's wrong..) of course you'd be tired, and of course it's late, so let's get to a hotel now. We can see your friend in the morning." she grinned and helped me make it off the plane.
And slowly we trudged through the airport, hailed a cab and started towards the Royal Inn. Rather flashy if you ask me, but at the time I could have cared less.
Once there I passed out on my bed. Dress, shoes, jewlery and all. And this time Chey couldn't get me up. So she let me sleep.
I almost wish she would have woken me up...
~* When I woke up I had a splitting headache, but put it off to jet lag. today I was going to see my beloved cornflower haired angel! After 14 years of missin him (2 of which got me depression and Anemia) I was finally going to see him.
I took a quick shower and then through my hair into a pony tail, put on a long pink skirt that fell to my ankles, Black boots that came just below my knees and a white blouse. 6 technicolor braclets on my left wrist, and 4 on the other, some make up and of course my lucky star earrings.
Since I had woken up at almost Noon Cheyenne was out, probably exploring the city. *pray she didn't get lost..* So I hailed a cab and drove to Sunset Arms.
Once there I put on my best, and bravest smile and marched up the stairs. But when I knocked on the door nobody answered.
"Huh..that's strange, he was supposed to be home by now. Where would he be? " I thought aloud and started back down the stairs, and wandered the old city for an hour or so.
After a while I ran into somebody. None other than Curly..
" Why hello Ms. Pataki, such a pleasure to see you again. Though I thought you'd be in Holland for your 3rd book signing." he grinned and I rolled my eyes. "Come back for the Welcome Home party?"
"Party? for who?" I asked blankly.
" FOR WHO?!? who else!! Arnold of course, geesh. It's at the Cosmic Inn downtown tonight at 8:30. Be there.." and he ran off.
" Cosmic in...party..ok." and I got another cab to take me back to the Royal Inn.
" Cheyenne! You here?" I burst into the room and she looks up from her book.
" Well hello stranger." She says and smiles. " Did you see him? how'd it go?"
I shake my head. " He's getting in tonight at the Cosmic Inn downtown. There's going to be a big party for him." I said happily.
" Well then we'll just have to go now won't we? Do you know what time?" she asked.
" Now, Curly said something about it..8:30 I believe.." I said slowly.
" Ah...ok then we have a good what 4, 5 hours?" she said looking at the clock on the wall saying 3 oclock. " So what's say we go get you something to wear, shall we not?"
I nodded. " Let's go!" and dragged her out of the room and we headed for the city in her car that finally arrived.
After 4 1/2 hours of searching and searching, and trying on outfit after outfit I finally had the perfect thing..
A strapless black sequinned dress that fell to just below my kness and flaired. I also bought knee high zipped black leather boots and left my hair down, which left it to about an inch above my waiste. and had on 6 technicolor braclents on either wrist. 2 earrings in my left ear and 3 in my right. *strange huh?*
Cheyenne smiled at me then looked herself over, she also got dressed up, and boy was she decked.. Red Strapless dress falling just above her knee's with black red ankle zip up boots, and 10 braclets on each arm (technicolor that is..) Her hair aws pulled back to a waiste length French braid showing 4 earrings on each ear.
I grinned and she smiled as we started for the Royal Inn. It would be a 40 minute ride. Well 40 minutes of pure torture for me.
As I thought about it, the way I dressed, I looked like one of those fiction authors. Technicolor bracelets, wild earrings, fancy outfits. Staying on that track I thought about how wild my life had been. I could write a book on my life, or maybe romance novels. But of course keep my poetry alive and kicken.
Actually, getting on the thought of poetry, I felt the sudden urge to write now..So I pulled out the notebook I always carried around with me and from my spot in the passangers seat, began to write more poetry. What I was best at.
Finally we got there, and boy was I a messs. I felt as if I could pass out from nervousness, I fidgeted with my hair, braclets or anything loose.
Cheyenne looked over at me and smiled reassuringly though I'd have to admit even she looked anxious, probably for me.
I looked at everybody around me, and saw Rhonda, Stinky, Sid, Eugene, Sheena, Nadine..and all the others. And suddenly I felt so out of place. Most hadn't noticed me, but those who did either didn't recognize me or were looking at me then gossiping.
I blushed furiously and backed into a waiter and muttered a french apology. That was another thing, after 14 years in the place I picked up not only the language, but an accent to boot. After apologizing I took two steps back causing Cheyenne to look at me.
" Child, what is the matter?" she asked seeing the fear in my eyes.
I backed up more and in my french accented English spoke, holding back tears. " I don't belong here Cheyenne--I've been gone way too long to even think about considering this place my home." I said.
She scoffed. " Please dear. this is your home!. Your first loves home.." she said softly.
Suddenly a burst of Applause hit the room and everybody shouted. " Welcome back!!" or " Congradulations!!" while I slunk back to the wall and sighed.. I saw a familiar football shaped head coming this way and felt as if I should say something.
Then he looked at me, and I froze in my spot, eyes wide and mouth slightly ajar. ' great pakati, make yourself look like an even bigger fool infront of him..' I chided and shut my mouth, but couldn't help but stare..
Though I don't think he recognized me either..because he turned away when somebody called his name..
I fell into the chair behind me and sighed. "Not even a smile..an acknowledgement of my exsistance.." I said and tears threatened once more to fall down my face.
Cheyenne came over and sat down next to me a worried look on her face. " Helga, what's the matter what happened??"
I messed with my hair and sniffled slightly. " He didn't even recognize me, didn't even acknowledge I exsisted. It's like--I don't know, maybe he didn't love me, maybe I held on to something that was never there Chey.." I said and buried my head in my hands.
Only to be grabbed by the wrist and pulled to my feet. " I will not have this from you Helga Geraldine Pataki. For the 8 years I've known you, all you've talked about is how much you love him, how much you would give just to see him again. To talk to him. Then 5 months ago you found a letter from him telling you he loved you. You cannot tell me, after 20 years of your life you are giving up on him. Your obsession, the 'angel who keeps you on this very earth..'." She said and dragged me through the crowd. " I will not have this from you. Now come on, we are going to talk to him." she said and a few people looked at us, some smiled some didn't..
I muttered a few hello's and blushed.
Then I heard two people talking and without even looking up from my spot on the floor knew who they were.. Arnold and Gerald.
Still friends after all these years, amazing.
I looked up and pulled my arm from Cheyenne. " I'm not 4 years old." I snapped and they both looked at me with a blank look..
" Um.." I gulped and looked at them, smiled nervously and they exchanged glances..
" Have we met?" asked Arnold.
" I--" I started only to be interrupted by Cheyenne.
" Have you met? Are you kidding..don't you remember her?" she asked.
" Chey.." I whispered fiercely.
" Remember her, um you.." he looked at me. " Should I?"
I backstepped and almost into another waiter. Why was I so darned nervous! I felt like the old, insecure 9 year old I was once before.
But I shook my head. " Yes, you should--I wasn't, I mean--we were...I." I stopped to try to pull together a decent thought.
" It's me. Helga..pataki that is.." I stumbled out.
Arnolds eyes widened and Geralds jaw dropped.
And I blushed furiously.
" HELGA?!" they both exclaimed at once.
I nodded softly. " Who'd you think I was football head...Lila.." I said smiling softly.
" Helga--it is you.." suddenly his look turned from one of surprise to one of tenseness..something was wrong.
Gerald still had an awe-struck look in his eyes. " Wow...scuse me for this, but helga, you're a babe.."
I laughed. " Well, that's what 14 years of living in France gets you, that and this terribly annoyin' French accent."
He chuckled and somebody else walked up next to him, then looked at me and her eyes widened.." Helga.." she breathed..
I almost didn't recognize her. But when I saw the long blue dress and black hair..I knew her instantly as the girl who was once my best friend. " Phoebe.."
And she squeeled and pulled me into a hug. " Helga!! oh I missed you so much!! when you didn't come back after the 4 years, I got worried..but I knew you'd come back.." she said and looked me over. " Well, I see we've changed a bit.." then she looked to Cheyenne..
" Who's this?"
Cheyenne smiled and curtsied. " My name is Cheyenne Lakota.."
I grinned. " So how are you?"
" I'm fine Helga, me and Gerald just got married 8 months ago and everythings great.." exclaimed phoebe showing me her ring and I smiled.
" That's great Phoebe, Hair boy..Gerald. Congradulations.." then I looked to Arnold who had a very, VERY nervous look in his eyes.
" Arnold is something wrong?" I asked.
" Wrong? Like---what.." he trailed off as a girl called out his name.
" Arnold!! Arnold, hey where were you..I missed you.." she said and kissed him on the cheek.
At this I got a strange look in my eyes.
" Oh.." she said looking at us..
She was beautiful..much more so than me. Shoulder length curly red hair, those sickening angel blue eyes. She was tall and slender, a good form..man everything I didn't have..suddenly I felt sick again. Felt Ugly, and betrayed..and sad.
In what voice I had left I looked between the two of them. " Arnold--umm.."
The girl interrupted me. " I'm Crystal..what's your name?" she asked batting her eye lashes as if to say, he's mine..
" Helga.." and I found myself losing grip on reality. I had to get out of there..
Cheyenne had a really evil look in her eyes, but got a worried look when she saw me start to falter. " Helga--are you ok?"
Gerald and Phoebe also had a strange look.
I wanted to die and just--get away from this earth, like so long ago..I felt the depression trying to edge it's way back into my life..
I blinked twice and I could faintly hear the words of a song start to play..
~~**~~
Ever since you've been leaving me I've been wanting to cry Now I know how it feels for you I've been wanting to die But it's much too late for goodbyes Yes it's much too late for goodbyes
~~**~~
I shook my head silently, tears breaking free and flowing down my face, " no.." whispered, my heart braking in two.
And I turned around, stumbled into two people dancing slowly, pushed them out of my way and started to run, tears blurring my vision.
I could faintly hear people calling me. " Helga stop!! come back, let me explain!!" and " Helga, please come back, you'll get hurt!"
I yelled back stopping at the door in the hallway. " I don't care anymore Cheyenne, the first time I fought this feeling, now I'll embrace it.." it ended in a whisper and I ran into the cold world, ready to be taken..
Finding the rain pouring down, I started to run, fast as I could, as fast as the tears in my eyes would let me, and as fast I could to keep myself from passing out. What I didn't see was that I ran out into the open street..
Voices shouted at me to get out of the way, I ignored them. I turned around and saw Cheyenne, Gerald, Phoebe...and Arnold yelling at me..I turned back around and saw what they were yelling at..I tried to get out of the way but I wasn't fast enough..
~~**~~
I've been wanting to die But it's much too late for goodbyes Yes it's much too late for goodbyes
~~**~~
The lights grew brighter and the horn honked..I closed my eyes to embrace my destiny.. *~
And suddenly I shot up in bed screaming, knocking over the nightstand next to my bed and almost falling out of it.
I looked at the clock/vcr and saw it was 12 oclock.. and Cheyenne was gone..it was a dream. No, a nightmare..was Arnold..I had to get to his house!!
So I got out of bed, took a quick shower, through on a jean skirt and blouse, technicolor bracelets and all...it felt familiar.
I hailed a cab and after what seemed like forever finally got to Sunset arms. " Thanks!" I rushed and payed and hoped out..only to collide with Curly.
" Oh.." " Yikes!" and we both fell over..
Picking up his bag then helping me up he smirked. "Well..fancy running into you M'lady." and he bowed. " here for the welcome back party?"
I opened my mouth to respond only to stop.. " P--party??" uh oh.." for who?"
He laughed. " For who!?!? oh that's rich! Arnold of course!!, it's at the Cosmic Inn at 8:30 tonight. Be there sista!" and he ran off.
I had to to lean against a light post to keep awake..it was happening again..only this time--it wasn't a dream.
So I hailed yet another cab and made him break the limit twice to get the Royal Inn. " Thanks..Keep the change!" I yelled and ran into the Hotel and then burst into the room to find Cheyenne watching T.V. " CHEYENNE!!" and she looked up startled.
"What ever is the matter??" she asked standing up and running over to me.
" It's..my dream--we have to get to the..I need a rest.." I said and sat down on my bed for a minute.
She nodded and got me a glass of water. " What's the matter? what happened that's got you all frazzled?"
I took the water and drank it then sighed. " It's nothing, but we have to get to the store, I have to get a dress, an outfit, and everything, there's a welcome home part for Arnold tonight." I said in a hurry..
She looked at me. " Ok..well do you know what time?"
I blinked. " 8:30 tonight, like in my dream.." I muttered.
She raised an eyebrow and then smirked. " well then we have a few hours, let's get you to the city to get dressed.." she said and we took off BACK to the city and got everything ready.
And again like before. it took a good 5 hours to get everything picked out. well 3 hours for me, 2 hours for her..
Finally we were ready, in the same outfits from my dream.
Well by the time 7:30 rolled around it was time to head for the Cosmic Inn.. again 40 minutes from the Royal Inn...
And boy was it torture for me. I spent most of the time worrying, the rest thinking, and the other few wringing my hands.
Once we got there I was a nervous wreck and Cheyenne had to practically drag me into the Hotel. "We did not spend $300 dollars for nothing child. Plus..this is the person you spent 20 years of your life fawning over. Do you expect me to allow you to chicken out and run away just cause your nervous? NO!! I will not. I will not watch you ruin your life again..you personally saw what it did to you..ms. size 6 1/2." she said staring at me.
But I was still nervous. very nervous. And as we walked in I saw all the old kids..well different but them. They all looked so amazing, I felt so out of place again. I didn't think I could do this.
Again that feeling of, I don't belong here, I never have and never will slipped into my mind.
Finally like before Cheers burst through the room and the yelling of " WELCOME BACK!" and "CONGRADULATIONS" followed..
I fell back to the wall and sighed. I couldn't do this..
Then I saw a familiar figure heading towards me through the crowd. I gulped and stood up. Then saw who he was with.. looked just like him only shorter. and her head wasn't football shaped..
But they veered off at the last minute as a slow dance started.
People started to dance and of course they did as well..I sighed.
So the dream was true..I couldn't stop it, and a few lone tears slipped down my cheeks. I missed the look Cheyenne and two others were giving me from the dance floor.
After the dance stopped the music for another one started and I recognized the tune. Peter Cetera's 'after all'. I felt like dying now.
But no time..I felt a hand on my arm and I gasped as I looked up to meet two of the most, adorable half lit green lit eyes I remembered from 14 years ago..and my heart caught in my throat.
I looked at him, and to the outstretched hand he held to me.
No words were exchanged, but I nodded softly and took his hand.
As he pulled me gently the dance floor the singing started..
~~**~~
Well, here we are again
I guess it must be fate
We've tried it on our own
But deep inside we've known We'd be back to set things straight ~~**~~
I felt so safe in his embrace..I looked at him, and he looked at me. A silent exchange of words. I knew that finally this was where I belonged, with him my love. My angel..
~~**~~
I still remember when
Your kiss was so brand new
Every memory repeats
Every step I take retreats
Every journey always brings me back to you
~~**~~
He looked lost in memory as well..or maybe just thought, but I found myself drifting to our school play back in 4th grade..and when I did that I saw a 23 year old Lila standing with a tall brown haired man smiling at us.. and it was then I realized it, we were the only two on the dance floor..but I didn't care anymore, the world could explode right now and I could care less.. I was with my destined one.
~~**~~ After All the stops and starts
We keep coming back to these two hearts
Two angels who've been rescued from the fall
After All that we've been through
It all comes down to me and you
I guess it's meant to be
Forever you and me, after all...
~~**~~
I looked back up at him and smiled. He spoke softly, just for my ears. "I told you I would wait, forever and a day. I found the note the poem..everything..Helga..I love you."
The words I'd waited 20 years to hear from his lips finally spoken to me. Thankfully he had such a strong grip because I almost passed out.
He wanted to be with me..forever as well..I couldn't help but wonder, then stopped thinking and just enjoyed this moment, the moment in the spot light. I just didn't want this to end, to be a dream that like awful nightmare of not too long ago. But if it was, I prayed I never woke up.
~~**~~
After All When love is truly right (This time it's truly right)
It lives from year to year
It changes as it goes
Oh, and on the way it grows
But it never disappears
After All the stops and starts
We keep coming back to these two hearts
Two angels who've been rescued from the fall
After All that we've been through
It all comes down to me and you
I guess it's meant to be
Forever you and me, after all
~~**~~
All around me, I felt as if I was floating as if I could fly. Reality seem to mix with the surreal, colors seem to blur. I lost myself in his eyes as we continued to dance in silence.. how could I have almost lost this angel on earth?
More important, why was I being aloud to have him? did I deserve this?
He smiled at me and whispered. " You deserve the world Helga.."
My eyes widened and he only smiled..
~~**~~
After All that we've been through
It all comes down to me and you
I guess it's meant to be Forever you and me,
After All
~~**~~
Then, it happened, he leaned in slightly, and like in the movies, just as the music stopped, I closed my eyes and experianced my first real kiss. Soft, yet passionate, gentle, yet affirming.
Our love as they say, was sealed with a kiss...
Once we broke apart there was silence, pure silence, accept for a few applause from one side of the room.. My friends..and that girl..
"My sister...crystal.." he muttered lovingly and as if on cue we both repeated the last lyrics. " I guess it's meant to be Forever you and me, after all.."
@}----- FINE -----{@
Wow..I finished..how was it? bad? good terrible?
I have one more person to thank. Kari gurl! my best friend.
I hope you like!!! BTW did I scare you with the dream sequence?
Keep a look out for me. I am getting inspiration from no where lately.. keep a look out for "And what if I said I loved you?" chapter 6: part 2!!
BYE PEOPLE!
