My first attempt at writing a fic totally on my own. Well, one that I was planning on publishing as I went. Also my first ever published fic. Please be nice, I appreciate CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, by if you're just going to be mean then don't review at all. Review if you think I should continue or at least post a bit more!

So, just to get it all out of the way now so I don't have to do boring author's notes with every chapter,

SM owns all. I own squat. … except for the ideas and what-not that I am making up on my own. Thats' mine.

...

I was too young to be able to retain exactly what happened in that one, life changing moment in my memory. I guess I might have blocked it out over time. I can remember every other thing that happened. That one day, where I always have and always will wish I had never gotten out of bed that morning. My 5th birthday.

Exactly 1 century ago today.

- (^-^) -

It was a bright, sunny day, not at all unusual in my hometown of Houston, Texas. My mom and I were waiting for the kids from my kindergarten class to arrive. My neighbor and life-long best friends- at that point- Rosalie Hale and Jasper Whitlock had arrived with their parents in tow before my mom and dad had even started decorating.

We were neighbors and our parents were the best of friends. We were also all the only children in our families, so we decided to be each others brother/sisters.

Anyway, once their moms and dads got to my house, we all split up into 3 groups. Dads, moms, and trouble makers. AKA, barbequing' smoking' beer drinkers (going out to the back yard), party preparation team/decorators, and…well…trouble makers. Dads went to the backyard to do what dads do. Moms went into the living room and foyer to set everything up for the party, and of course us three kids going all over the place cooking up whatever trouble we could.

It went on like that until the guests started arriving. Most of them arrived in the space of about 10-15 minutes. Two or three arriving couple minutes after the main group had. Only 2 people arrived substantially late. 45 minutes after everyone else had arrived and we had started the party. A little boy and his dad, the boy carrying a medium sized pink-sparkly gift bag with my name written on it across the front in swooping letters.

I never really took notice of the late arrivals, no one really did other than my parents. Mom and dad going over to greet them and introduce themselves (like they had done with everyone else as they arrived). Mom grabbed the little boys hand and brought him over to all us other kids, dad taking the boy's father over to the room across the hall where all the other moms and dads were standing around socializing. He had a funny look about him, the boy's dad. I didn't even know who they were until mom brought me over to the boy and introduced us to each other. His name was James. Just like his father's was.

I remember asking him where his mom was after mine left to go into the other room. He said she went to sleep before him and his dad left to come to my party.

In truth, I thought the kid was really weird. When my mine, Ro's, and Jas's moms brought in the cake and other goodies, James started stuffing his face as soon as they turned their backs to leave the room. I couldn't believe how much he was eating! I didn't think even my dad could eat that much at one time! But that doesn't really matter. What happened not even an hour later is the important part. It is what changed my life. Forever.

It was when all the parents and kids were standing (or sitting) around me in a circle, watching me open my presents that it started.

Even now I don't remember what set him off. Was it the enclosed space? How close the other parents were to him? Did he just snap? Or, maybe, had he been planning it all along, ever since he entered my house, and had just been waiting for the right time? I don't know now, and I doubt I ever will know. Maybe I don't want to know.

But, what I do know is that a mere 30 seconds changed both my life, and the life of everyone at my party irrevocably.

..

He'd brought a gun. He brought it with him to the party. I hadn't known for years why he would do that. Why would someone bring a gun to a little girl's 5th birthday party? I didn't know until after I turned 10. My aunt and uncle hadn't wanted me to be told something like that at such a young age as 5. In my opinion, 10 is no better an age to hear something like that.

To hear that both your parents had been murdered for something that had happened over a decade before you were even born. That the man that had done that to them had wanted to kill them in the worst way possible, and to harm as many people that were close to them as possible.

5 people were murdered that day.

My dad, Charles Swan, was the first to die. Second was Rose's mom, 'cause she got in James Sr.'s way. Third was James, the man's own son. Turns out he couldn't stand the sight of the boy. Poor kid.

And last, the one person that J.S. never meant to hurt. My mom, Renee Swan. It was all my fault too. She died because she threw herself in front of the gun to save my life. James Sr. may have been the once holding and shooting off the gun, but it was because of me being there, me being at all, that she was murdered.

He had been in love with my mom since he was 17 years old, but she never even noticed him. She was far too in love with my dad. A few years later when I showed up, James realized he would never get Renee. He tried to move on but, well… that did not end well. They found his wife dead just inside the front door of their house. He'd killed her before he left for my party with James Jr., their son. She, Victoria, was the final person to have died. He left her bleeding to death. She didn't die until around 6 that afternoon.