***WHAT CRUTCHY REALLY DID TO SNYDER'S SOURKRAUT***
a theory by Monkey McCartney

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Crutchy stood in the kitchen of the Refuge, grinning evilly. He couldn't believe what he'd just done. Mr. Snyder would be furious if he ever found out...but he wasn't going to find out...unless Crutchy's brain's mind of its own decided to blurt it out.

Rubbing his hands together like the crazed child he was, Crutchy picked up the tray and hobbled out of the kitched with his crutch supporting him. He knocked lightly on Snyder's door and entered with the tray.

"Heah's yer suppa, Mista Snyda," he said, trying to keep a straight face.

Snyder eyed the food hungrily. "Mmm, sourkraut!"

Crutchy laughed his evil goat-laugh and for a minute Snyder grew suspicious. But, he was hungry. Hunger comes before suspicion, so Snyder got a big forkful of sourkraut and shoved it into his mouth. He cringed.

"Crutchy, what's in this sourkraut? It's got a...bite to it."

Crutchy wiped the evil grin off his face quicker than you can say "Spanky McFarland". "It's a...a new seasonin', Mista Snyda."

"Well, what's it called?" he asked rather impatiently.

"Ehh..." Crutchy thought for a second. "It's called, eh, Urine Heaven." Doh! He kicked himself mentally. Or, his brain kicked the mind of its own.

Snyder cocked his head thoughtfully. "You're In Heaven? It certainly doesn't taste that way."

Crutchy almost laughed his evil goat-laugh again, but caught himself. "Well, eh, I'll tell da cook dat you don't like it."

"You do that," Snyder said, eyeing Crutchy but quickly finishing his sourkraut and starting on his liver and bacon. Good food can't go to waste, you know.

Crutchy quickly grabbed a potato off his plate and hobbled down the hallway toward Jack's cell. Boy, did he have a story for Jack!

He flipped open the little slot thingy at the bottom of Jack's cell door, interrupting Jack's singing of the "Santa Fe Reprise". He gave the potato to Jack, but he didn't seem to want it. This discouraged Crutchy, and even more so when Jack gave him an odd look when he tried to tell him what he did to Snyder's sourkraut. So, Crutchy ended up not telling Jack what he really did, because Jack was too hung-up on Santa Fe to listen to Crutchy, anyway. So goes the life of a disturbed child called Crutchy who laughs with an evil goat-laugh.