Written whilst exhausted. Please excuse any strangeness/spelling mistakes.

Thorin was buried up to his neck in shiny things. He was deep in thought about how to defeat Thranduil and not have to share any of his gold. Then, he remembered a secret room, with a special weapon, guaranteed to defeat the most terrible of foes. After gathering his Company, he took them to a tiny roller coaster-esque train, where they all piled in and he steered them to a large room full of...glitter.

The room was piled high with glitter! He bade them fill plastic shopping bags with glitter, mainly Sainsbury ones, but Asda's was acceptable too. His plan? Throw the glitter bombs at their foes! What could possibly go wrong?

As it turned out, the plan Thorin had made whilst drunk worked pretty well. Unfortuanately, glitter invaded his brain, prompting him to go on a solo quest to find unicorns. He left the throne to Fili, who turned out to be quite a good ruler, in fact one of the best. So I guess it all turned out well...