A/N: SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I do not know what I'm doing. Meh. Someone. Kill me. Please. I have written filth~!

Itachi had been having a bad day. He had been attacked by Hidan and ended up having a lung cut out in sacrifice for lord Jashin. When Itachi finally managed to get it back, he asked Kakuzu to sew it back in place. Instead, Kakuzu ended up attaching his lung to a major artery, so every time he took a deep breath, he got a mouthful of blood.

After that, Kisame demanded to be taken to Sea World to go see his little brother. Then, he had to deal with Kisame's crying because Shamoo was too busy to do anything but wave from a distance. His cloak was soaked with salt-water tears.

When he finally returned, Pein had demanded a group meeting.

"We have a new member!" Pein announced excitedly, smiling like an idiot.

"What, did you get Konan pregnant?" Hidan muttered. Everyone glared. With their luck, he would probably be right.

"No, Hidan. We have someone who qualified for a position, unlike most of you. Meet our newest member!"

Itachi's day had been pretty bad. But it just got worse.

There was only one person Itachi wanted to kill more than Sasuke.

The person in front of him was very familiar. Too familiar.

"Pedo-Bear."