A/N: This story comes from very raw, real feelings that a lot of people can probably relate to. Its almost completely out of character in some ways, but in others, I kinda wish this would happen on Secret Life, because it really does say what needs to be said.
Its very autobiographical; a lot of it has to do with me getting out how I feel about a certain situation, but it also worked out well as a oneshot plot, so I hope you enjoy .
Summary: When Amy's driven to the edge, someone finally stands up for her. Oneshot.
Saying It All
Ricky OneShot
Ricky bounced John up and down gently, finally getting him to calm down. It had been a long day, not having Amy there to help out. He had to admit though, she definitely needed this time away. She'd been so stressed just from drama with her so-called friends all alone that it was taking away from every other part in her life, and it had become very clear to those around her that she needed time to recharge her batteries and shut off the rest of the outside world that was getting to her.
Truth be told, he didn't really want to hear from anyone who had driven her to such an edge, but somehow he got the feeling that at least one of her friends would show up looking for her. It was one of the things he hated about highschool. The drama was never ending.
As he looked out the window, he could already feel the groan he wanted to let out, escaping his throat. Did she REALLY think that anyone wanted to see her right now?
It didn't matter, he decided. She wouldn't make it past the door.
Ricky settled John into his pack and play and exited Amy's room, bounding down the stairs, taking them by two. He stood against the front door, just waiting for the knock. Once he heard it, he turned and opened it, only opening it far enough to see her.
"What do you want," he asked harshly.
Madison gulped. "I... I wondering where Amy is. She wasn't at school today."
Ricky nodded quickly. "Yeah. She left town for a few days. Needed time away from all the drama, you know." He tried to not sound entirely angry, but his words were firm, coming across perfectly clear.
Madison sighed, shifting on her feet. It was clear that Ricky wasn't going to let her through the doorway. "Well...can you at least tell her I came by?"
Ricky shrugged. "Maybe. I don't know."
Madison's expression grew even more stern. "Why?"
Ricky smiled slightly, though it was more annoyed than genuine. "Well I don't know. Maybe you should try and not hurt her every damn time you open your mouth, or every time you have a conversation."
Madison tried to retort, but Ricky cut her off.
"I'm not finished," he started. "You tell her this bullshit all the time about how you're afraid to tell her how you'll feel cause "the last time" you did, she told you she'd never talk to you again. Lets play role-reversal a little bit, shall we? You told her that after Lauren said she wouldn't ever talk to her again. You told her that after even I was stupid enough to not take her side, as well as Ben. She was ALL alone. She had no one on her side and felt like she'd been completely abandoned, so yeah, she told you to leave her behind and forget about your friendship if that's how you really felt. She felt SO belittled by everything everyone was doing that particular weekend, that if you wanted to abandon her, fine. She didn't care. Hell, she went out and bought a fucking pack of razors and started cutting herself again. She didn't KNOW what to do. Her mom even tried to help, but no one would listen. Everyone made it her fault. And when things finally got solved, she was still hurt because Lauren told her she needed space and it took her four fucking months and a someone else talking to Lauren for her, to actually find out that Lauren had never intended on talking to her again. That was like being cut open all over again."
Madison gulped, tears burning in her eyes. "I'm s-"
"Don't apologize, damnit!" He shook his head, scowling. "That wasn't enough for you, was it, though? Because after you hurt her, you acted so damn distant, that she felt like she'd lost you just as much as she lost Lauren. She told Ben and me she was talking space from you because she didn't know what to do, but somehow she thought she was going to end up getting blamed because she needed some time for you to see what you were doing to her by acting like you wanted nothing to do with her. And of course, she came back a week later and told you why she'd taken time off, and what did you do? You fucking disappeared. Wouldn't talk to her, wouldn't even tell her why you did what you did. And that wasn't good enough. Then you let your friends get involved and say it was her fault because she never changes. Let me tell you something; Amy's changed so much, there's no damn way she's the same person she was six months ago. And then of course, what did she do? She forgave you. She told you it was okay that you'd hurt her, that she understood. She let you get away with SO MUCH in the last three years, especially..." he shook his head again. "She didn't need the shit you were doing to her. She was hurt enough."
"So was I," Madison fought back.
"No," he stood his ground. "You put yourself right where you are. When she went through shit so bad, she didn't even know what to do with herself, she confided in you. When we weren't talking at all because of our own issues, she opened up to you and got just as close to you as she was to me. She told you things she wasn't even telling me. When she was so out of her mind that she started cutting herself, but she needed someone to understand who woudn't take it away from her, she told you. And what did you do? You started doing it too." He huffed, growing more annoyed by the second. "You copied her SO much, its like you wanted to BE her. She felt so emulated that she couldn't tell you a damn thing. She told you she felt so screwed up that she wasn't eating, and what did you do when she told you that? You started doing the same thing. You ALWAYS copied her. Its like you wanted to be her so bad, you made her feel so dumb, so useless, so worthless...you stuck to HER friends like they were your friends. And then you told her the biggest lie you could ever tell her. You told her you almost died. You hurt her so much then that she didn't talk to you for almost a year, but she let you back in, and you did all that shit. But it wasn't ever good enough, was it?"
Madison stood there, silent finally. Ricky shook his head. "Thats what I thought. Cause when she let you back in the last time, she was the one still hurt. All she ever fucking did was disagree with all the crap your friends were "joking" to you since you claimed that you were so damn upset. Of course what happened then? You decided she wasn't good enough to confide in, cause according to you, all she ever does is blame you for your supposed problems."
"She does!" Madison insisted.
"No," Ricky shook his head again. "She doesn't. She tells you the damn truth that you don't to hear because you want the attention all on you and to continue to suffer. Unlike you, she's satisfied enough that she's aquaieced to the fact that this is it, and she's got a real problem that she might have to live with for as long as she's alive, and because of that, she's decided to be happy. You girls go on and on and ON about how she forces herself to be happy and your so damn jealous, but you don't even give it the time of day. And then its always 'Well, I'll do it when...' And you know what? She got tired of waiting for when. She got tired of waiting for everyone else to catch up to her, or for things to get perfect. She got sick of it all. And you know what most of all that she's sick of? You. You always hurting her, making her the bad guy. You saying she only cares about herself or saying she thinks she's better than everyone else. Do you know how low that makes her think of herself? I mean is that a fucking achievement to you? To hurt her enough that she'll just slide back into all her issues? She hurts enough just trying to convince herself that she's better off without you. The last thing she needs is for you to tell her how bad of a person you think she is."
Ricky finally sighed, feeling finished finally. "So...why don't you consider all of that before you come back here. And don't ever you dare to think that you can come here and blame her or tell her this is all her fault, cause you can guarran-damn-tee that I'll have some words for you again. Got it?"
Madison nodded, wiping tears from her eyes.
"And don't you let me hear from someone else that you went back and told Lauren all this shit and blamed her or me." He finished before turning around and slamming the door in her face.
He couldn't help but smile as he leaned against the door. For once, someone was getting told the truth. Someone was there to take Amy's side. That wouldn't change.
"Nice job," Ashley commented as she stepped into view.
Ricky smirked at her. "Someone had to do it. God knows Amy won't."
Ashley nodded. "She knows too much about what its like to have her feelings hurt by others words to do the same to them. Its good, you doing this for her."
Ricky nodded. "Thanks."
