Title: Perfectly Imperfect
Author: Helen (Helen or HelenItsme)
Rating: T
Summary: Maybe Brooke is right in some way; nobody is perfect. Maybe everyone is perfectly imperfect in their own way. You just hope that even though nobody is perfect, people will have their happy ending. Especially your special, bubbly and sparkling best friend.
Spoilers: This takes place during season 1 and it's Haley's POV. Most of the story line will be the same as in the show, there are only a few changes though, but (hopefully) the story will clear everything up.
Authors Note: this one shot isn't beta'd, so all spelling and grammatical errors are mine, sorry. Plus, I've worked really hard on this one, so please leave a nice review. It was hard to write a story in this kind of POV.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from One Tree Hill. Never have, never will.
Perfectly Imperfect.
It's your first day of high school. Obviously, you are a little nervous. Your sisters tell you that you don't have anything to worry about, and that if someone is mean to you, they will kick their asses. This calms you down a little, but still you switch five times from a different outfit to another, trying to find the look that fits you right. After all, this is the beginning of a new lifetime, and you have to make a good –preferably the right– impression.
When your best friend picks you up, the scratch on his forehead from falling of his new bike still noticeable, you smile at him. You ask him if he thinks you look OK for this important day, and he replies that he doesn't mind what you are wearing, as long as it isn't pink. You know that it isn't supposed to hurt you when you hear it, because after all, Lucas is a boy and boys don't care much about appearance. But still, you had tried hard to find the right outfit, and if your best friend didn't even notice, then what would your classmates think?
Sometimes you wish that you had another best friend, only a girl, who could give you good advice and nice compliments at times like these. Sure, you could ask your sisters, but they were much older, and didn't really understand you. It just would not be the same.
You sit in your new classroom, silently watching everyone around you. You notice that most of the kids do the same thing, some looking even more nervous than you are, and that thought is soothing to you.
After the teacher introduced himself, he asks you all to do the same –starting from the front row to the back- and you shrink down in your seat because you are scared to talk in front of strangers.
There are a few people who seem nice, and you can already tell who is going to be popular and who's not. You secretly hope that you're going to make new friends.
Then the teacher point to a girl who sits on your left, and you wonder why you haven't noticed her earlier. Her hair is so shiny, chocolate brown and falling perfectly on her shoulders. She's petite and slim, her skin like porcelain and smooth. And when she notices all the attention is on her, a giant smile covers her face, her eyes shining and her dimples poking out.
"I'm Brooke Davis, and I want to be a cheerleader along with my best friend Peyton, who is not in this class which is kind of a bummer." She frowns slightly before continuing, "When I grow up I want to be a fashion designer, or do something in business just like my daddy. Oh, and I think you are really cute, Mr. Peterson."
The guys laugh at this, but you assume they're only doing it because they think the girl is hot, and because she's so extravert and spontaneous and blunt.
You study her from that moment on, knowing that someone like her probably wouldn't end up befriend with someone like you. You like to read, and to watch Lucas and your other boy friends play basketball on the Rivercourt. She likes to paint her nails all sorts of different colors, and go to the mall to check out off limit boys.
You wonder if that Peyton girl is just like the pretty brunette, and if she would be just as bubbly and cheery. Hopefully you will see her in one of your other classes.
A few minutes later, when you look around the room again, you notice that all the girls seem to adore Brooke, and that the boys are definitely interested in her. You wonder if Lucas would be interested too if he was here.
It's your junior year, and during those years in high school you've managed to develop yourself into a fun, sarcastic and overall nerdy –but still loveable- person. Lucas is still your best friend, although now he joined the basketball team, his world is turned upside down and you don't really know how to talk to him about it. It's starting to change him, but he says that he can say the same thing about you. He is probably right, you know he is. Tutoring Nathan Scott has changed you, and it isn't exactly good for your friendship with Lucas, but you try to forget that because Nathan turned out to be not so bad at all.
And when you get asked to come to his party, you actually find yourself agreeing, wanting to know what those parties are like.
When you arrive, the first thing you notice is a gorgeous red dress, belonging to no other than Brooke Davis. Her lipstick is the same colour as her dress, matching the red cup she's holding in her right hand. You shake your head at the thought of admiring her back in your freshman year, when you were still so young and naïve. Now, you know that she is nothing more than a rich, fake and shallow cheerleader, with no other problems than re-scheduling her manicure.
Still, in some sort of wicked way she and her power of persuasiveness fascinate you. Her looks and money are just a bonus to her sparkling personality.
You know that she doesn't know you, and that she probably doesn't even remember your name if she was asked, although the two of you have shared most of the same classes.
As you see her gulp down her drink, your thoughts wonder off to one question. Is she really that perfect, or is she wearing a mask, trying to cover up the real her?
You can't wonder any longer, because Nathan has spotted you and offers you a drink, which you decline. Still, he smiles at you and tells you to ignore his clumsy friend, who throws unpleasant flirty remarks at you that makes you feel extremely uncomfortable.
The night turns out pretty fun, only there's still that stupid voice in your head reminding you constantly that you don't belong here. This crowd is filled with popular rich kids, who like to make fun of people like you, just for the kicks of it.
And when Brooke somehow found the note you wrote to Nathan, and reads it to him in front of everybody, you know that Brooke Davis is not special, she's just like the rest of them.
Nathan has visited your house a few times to apologize and telling you that it doesn't matter what was in the note, and that he still looks at you in the same way. Lucas has asked you a million times what had happened at the party, and because you don't want to talk to either of them you hide at Karen's café.
Then, the bell jingles and the person you dislike the most at this point walks in, an unreadable look on her face.
She tells you that she wants to change her karma, something about appeasing the Gods, and then that she wants to set up a date for you and Nathan. Before you can tell her that you don't even want to go on a date with him, she asks you what you want to do on the date, and that she's positive you're going to love it.
"What I really want to do is, watching you get hit by a bus."
You know that it was mean, but she totally had it coming. At this point you could care less about who she was and what she thought about you. You just hated her guts.
Her reply surprised you, it was sweet but still persistent, and somehow you ended up going on the date.
It really is weird how things can change, because along the way, Brooke had become your friend. Actually, more like acquaintance. Her best friend Peyton and your best friend Lucas were dating, so she thought that it was a cool idea to hang out because you were both best friend-less.
You are not quite sure what she means by that, because you are dating Nathan at this point, and you still have all your friends and Lucas for that matter, so why would you have to hang out with her? You are sure that she has tons of friends too, and it's not like she lost Peyton because of Lucas.
But like you already knew, Brooke could be very persistent. When you are painting your toenails and checking out (not) so off limit guys –for her of course-, you realize how much things really have changed.
The more you hang out with her, the more you feel like she's not that shallow or fake, it's just a side of her that she shows the rest of the world. The real Brooke really is special, and bubbly and sparkling, just like you remember her during the first day of freshman year. You think that she's close to perfect because she has it all –the money, the looks, the power, the status- but when you tell her that she looks at you strangely, and she switches to a different subject, making you wonder if you've said something wrong.
As the time passes by, even more changes happen. You are insanely in love with Nathan Scott, wanting to be with him all the time you get. Brooke is now one of your closest friends, but you and Lucas are more distant than ever.
It's not because of the fact that you date Nathan; a thing that Lucas hated at first because of the whole history family drama. He has told you himself that he is now OK with your relationship with Nathan. You don't think that becoming sort of popular has to do with it either, because he became popular too. He knows that you like Peyton, and that you think that she's good for him so that is not the reason you two are so distant lately. Then what is?
It's when you find him steeling glances at Brooke, the way she steals his fries in playful manner, or the way she laughs at one of your jokes, that you notice he has an expression on his face that you can't quite read. Maybe he is jealous of your friendship with Brooke? Deep down you know that that can't be it.
Then it hits you: he has fallen in love. Not with his girlfriend, but for your popular, not so shallow or fake bubbly friend. He doesn't want to hang out with you because you like to talk about your new best friend –finally finding a girl best friend, something you've always secretly wished for-, and it only reminds him about the screwed up situation he is in now.
There's a difference between a lie, a secret, and something you just don't want to tell anybody because you like to keep it to yourself and yourself only.
When you ask Lucas if he likes Brooke, he tells you no and that you are crazy for even thinking that. But when you look him into his eyes you can tell that he is lying. You are positive that what he just told you is a lie, and it hurts you a little. You never lie to him.
When an uncertain Brooke asks you if it is OK that she has feelings for someone, but he is off limits, but still can't help to feel that way, you know she is actually trying to tell you a secret. She doesn't want to tell you who he is though, but you already know.
And when you find Lucas and Brooke making out behind some bookshelf in the library, you know that it is something you don't want to tell anybody, and that you should keep it to yourself because it's too big and too wrong to tell anyone.
Weeks pass by, and neither Brooke nor Lucas has told you about their friends with benefits policy. You don't know whether you should feel hurt or betrayed that neither one has informed you, not even giving you the slightest hints (except for maybe Brooke asking you that question).
The thing that hurts you the most is that Peyton is so obvious by it all. When you are all hanging out together she doesn't notice that Brooke acts weird around Lucas with Peyton sitting next to her, and that Lucas can't seem to hold his eyes of off Brooke.
Lucas is your best friend, and you even consider Brooke as one too, but Peyton is also your friend and she doesn't deserve this. You're considering telling Nathan about what you know, but decides against it because it will only cause trouble. It's not like you don't trust him, because you do, it's just that you don't want him to get involved too in the drama of the love triangle.
So on one day, when you're so tired of keeping it all inside, you approach Brooke. The look on her face when you tell her you know about her and Lucas is one that you will never forget. It's filled with fear, and anger and disgust (you assume for herself).
"You're not going to tell her, right?"
"No." You reply immediately, as if you already knew that she was going to say that. "You're going to tell her."
Her face is now replaced with what you assume fear, because her face is so pale and her eyes are wide open.
"It will crush her."
"I know, but when she accidentally finds out about the two of you, she's never ever going to forgive you."
You leave her there, quite satisfied by what you have done. It will cause hurt and pain, but it is the right thing to do.
It took a few weeks, but Brooke finally told Peyton, when she felt like she had enough courage to do so (which is why it took a few weeks).
As expected, Peyton was beyond furious, feeling disappointed and betrayed. She didn't want to talk to her ex-boyfriend or ex-best friend, which left you in an extremely weird position, because now it seemed like Peyton was glued to your hip.
And when you accidentally blurt out that you knew all along too, but didn't tell her because you didn't want to hurt her, she yells at you that you are just as bad and leaves you there, shocked and hurt.
When you try to find comfort by the only one who you think doesn't has a reason to be pissed at you, you find him yelling at you, screaming that you've kept secrets from him too and then yells at you to get out of his house.
Now, you really don't know what to do. The two people who you see as your best friends avoid talking to you, and Peyton and Nathan don't want to talk to you either. You feel alone, and you have to remind yourself constantly that you've done the right thing.
You're at a party with Brooke. Today she came to talk to you for the first time in days, telling you that she's sorry for avoiding you. You tell her that it is OK, that you aren't exactly innocent in all of this either.
So when she asks you to go party with her, because God knows you both deserve to be a little wild and crazy, you find yourself agreeing.
Now, you're watching a beyond plastered Brooke embarrassing herself by throwing herself at guys while gulping down drink number seven (or was it eight?). You know that you should stop her, that she's just hurt by what has happened, but you cannot help yourself by watching her.
You know that Brooke is not like you. She can make you say things that you don't want to, she lets you believe in something that you know is wrong, but still you can't help but agree with what she's saying. She knows how to palm everyone and anyone in with her charms and one dimpled smile.
You remember thinking about whether Brooke really is perfect, or if she is just wearing a mask, and when you see her make out with some guy you don't know, you are sure that Brooke Davis is not even close to being perfect.
"I'm drunk."
"I know you are, sweetie."
She giggles when she hears you say that, and you stifle a laugh. "Why aren't you drunk?"
"Because someone has to look out for you."
It costs you a lot of trouble to keep her upright, seeing as you weight probably even less than her, because you are so tiny and small.
When you see her close her eyes, you know that she is on the verge of passing out, and you softly slap her right cheek, telling her that she has to stay awake till they at least reach the car.
You two drive in silence. It's when you have almost reached Brooke's house the brunette speaks up. "Haley?"
"Yes?"
"Remember when you told me you thought I was close to perfect, because I am rich and good looking and popular?"
"Yeah…" You're a little unsure why she's bringing this up now, but curious at the same time.
"I'm not perfect."
"Nobody is perfect, it's just that-"
But before you can finish what you wear saying, she interrupts you, "I mean I am rich, but I don't have a loving and caring family like you do. And because I'm good looking, people think you're a slut because you can have any guy you want. I'm only popular because I'm rich and good-looking, and it feels like I always have to set up this act to please everyone around me. Funny thing is that acting Brooke is anyone but the real Brooke."
She lets out a bitter laugh, and says, "I guess the only thing where you can say I'm perfect, is being perfectly imperfect."
"Brooke-"
"Do you know that I used to be so insanely jealous of you?"
You shake your head no.
"You're not rich, but you still have lots of friends and people who care about you. You don't have to buy your friends. I'm not saying that you're not good looking but when you wear that ugly poncho of yours I seriously have to remind myself that underneath that you're a pretty girl. And still you have managed to get into the popular crowd, and date the king of the school. I envy you."
For a moment you don't know what to say, and that moment is enough for Brooke to pass out on the backseat again. You slowly wipe one single tear that runs down your face away, and let out a shaky breath.
Then you hear your cellphone ring, and when you finally managed to grab it without taking your eyes of off the road, the phone has stopped ringing. One missed call: Nathan.
It took quite some time, but Peyton forgave you. So did Nathan. Lucas forgave you too. Brooke already forgave you a long time ago.
It's sad for you to see that Peyton is still not talking to Brooke or Lucas. It's sad for you to see that Lucas and Brooke are so in love with each other, but they can't let anything between the two of them happen, knowing that it will only cause heartaches.
It's sad for you to know that Lucas and your relationship as best friends will never be the same again. Knowing that he feels like you've betrayed him. It's sad for you to know that although he doesn't show it, you know that Nathan doesn't trusts you the way he used to.
Brooke's previous words spin around in your head over and over again, especially the ones telling you that she's so 'perfectly imperfect'.
It's ironic really, that you used to admire Brooke, fascinated by the way she acted, but that all along she was thinking the same thing about you.
Maybe Brooke is right in some way; nobody is perfect. Maybe everyone is perfectly imperfect in their own way. You remember wanting to make a good –preferably the right- impression back in your freshman year, and you know now that everyone wants the same thing, even if it means showing a fake version of yourself.
You just hope that even though nobody is perfect, people will have their happy ending. Especially your special, bubbly and sparkling best friend.
THE END.
I want to thank you for really finishing this story. Please let me know what you guys think. It really means the world to me if you leave a review: Love goes out to you all, x Helen.
