Title: The Author tackles Aladdin and brutally extracts any sign of decency [1/2]
Author:
SutekiKage
Character(s) or Pairing(s):
AmericaxRussia; CanadaxFrancexEngland; Various others; Nordics are involved in this mess as well.
Rating:
NC-17 (For the possible language and sexual innuendoes…and situations)
Warnings:
Russia is Jasmine, yes, JASMINE.
Summary:
A series of cracked up Fairytales that take a turn for the better…or worse. No, seriously.
Notes: In this chapter little children, we will see your beautiful Arabian dreams being crushed underfoot a harem of rather unsightly females.

Cast

Aladdin - America / Alfred

Genie - UK / Arthur

Jafar - France / Francis

Sultan - Matthew

Princess Jasmine - Russia (Yes, you're probably thinking WTF, who's the MOM like I am xD …I'd like to believe Ukraine TwT But the more logical one might just be Belarus) (P.S. I also like to believe that this was a shotgun wedding)

Nordics - Group of Thieves
Various other Cast - You'll figure it out as you read.

.,x.{Start}.x,.

The room was filled with the scent of strong perfumes and incense; it was suffocating for anyone to be inside. Surprisingly, there was.

Soft pants filled the high ceilings, the wide corners; echoing, bounding off the lightly illuminated walls as they were washed away by a louder, more indecent cry for no more. Its reply was an evil chuckle that sent shivers down the vulnerable Sultan.

"My dear king," The taller male hissed, "I was hoping you'd see things my way now? The people need to be taxed more for my...uh, our happiness."

"Bu---but…" The protest was muffled as Francis moved just a smidgen from his previous position, enjoying the way his dear Sultan tried to move away –and into- the movement. "Ha…ahhh~~~ Ha—how can I…Convince you otherwise…?"

The wicked sorcerer paused in thought, ignoring the needy mewls escaping his captor's mouth, "Hmmm…" Thrust, "I'll leave that to you," Thrust.

The King came.

.,x.{~}.x,.

Alfred was awesome! Just look at how he was jumping over and around those vegetable stalls! Watch as he snatches at whatever he could get his hands on as he ran. Admire his dexterity snaking through the crowd…

Cringe inwardly as he falls face first into the yellow dirt and is snatched up by royal guards.

.,x.{~}.x,.

The hustle and bustle of the city was contrasted by the quietness of the palace so much that Alfred found himself feeling more and more spooked as he was dragged deeper and deeper into the building. Don't make fun of him! Like, what if there were ghosts and stuff…and stuff…So, of course he was relieved when they finally passed some attendants on their way by.

They, however, didn't provide him with any comfort.

"Whoa, like, lookit that bandit, Liet! Like, the Sultan's totally gonna pwn his ass!" …Alfred felt like his awesome adventure was coming to an end.

The guards, uncaring, or just really good at what they do dragged him to a wide and imposing doorway that just reeked of imposingness. FEEL THE WRATH OF THE ALL IMPOSING DOORWAY. FEEL IT.

Alfred peed in his pants a little.

"Go on," the blond guard instructed as they went to stand on either side of the doorway, to guard I suppose. That is their job.

The blonde eyed the funny shaped doorway...hole...thing. It was rather imposing.

"FUCK, JUST GET TO IT ALREADY." The Albino guard just...shoved him. Andddd...there he goes; falling...falling...skidding...and he's fallen to a place of no return What?.

"Stand, thief!" Came a quiet voice from what Alfred could tell was the King's position, must be a higher up attendant or something. He looked up, spotting a somewhat young looking man sitting in the Kings seat, squirming uncomfortably every couple of seconds.

"State your crim-" OMG, THAT IDDY-BIDDY VOICE CAME FROM THE SULTAN! The SULTAN.

"WHOA, you're not imposing at all!"

"What?!" The man squeaked, looking flustered by the sudden outburst.

"--I mean, look at your doorway! It's so IMPOSING. Have you ever noticed that?!--"

"I do suppose it's rather menacing loo--"

"---Is that why it's so quiet around here?! So that people can hear you?--"

"Well, I...I'd never--!"

"I mean, come on! And here I thought the King was some kinda tyrant from all those fearful whispers in town and all about the royal fami--" Then, he spotted him. That magnificent beast standing in the shadows of the King's imposing chair.

He was in love.

He was in fucking la-la land.

And while his random outburst had dwindled to a soft, incoherent sputter, Princess Russia had asked, "Can I play with this one, Papa?"

Sultan Matthew laughs nervously as his daughter(?) leans over him and replies with a firm, "No," and realizes that he can't deal with his rebellious teenage daughter(?) anymore.

Princess Ivan pouts his most pouty pout and snakes back behind his father's moody self. God, his father was like, so moody, and needy, yuck. He sulks, maybe he'll try asking again later when Francis has him under him, his father always seems to comply readily when he's caught in the act.

Matthew shivers, feeling an ominous black and plotting aura residing behind him, and he sighs, all these problems would be nothing if he still had his genie.

"What Genie?"

"What?!"

"You just said you wouldn't have any more problems if you still had your Genie?"

"I did?"

"You did."

Matthew looks over to his attendants for conformation; the Italian seems to nod too eagerly. Goddamnit, he was talking out loud again!

"Yea, you are."

"What?"

"You're talking out loud again."

"I am?"

"You are--"

"ARGHHH, NEVERMIND. Just...Just send him off to the dungeons until he's learned his lesson or something." The two guards approached him, one a little eagerly then the other, "Oh boy! Another skeleton added to our collection!"

"Yours, maybe."

"Wah...! Wait!!" Alfred yells as the two men start dragging him away, "I can get your Genie back!"

"What?!"

"I can get your Genie back!"

"What? Oh, for goodness sake, Gilbert! Don't drag people away when I'm still talking to them!"

"Sorry Mattie."

"Don't call me that! Makes me feel unimportant…"

"Right, sorry."

"Sorry, what?" Matthew's voice grew an octave louder in commandingness.

"Sorry, Sultan..." The guard sulked, glancing down at his feet like a little child being punished for stealing cookies out of the cookie jar.

"I didn't hear you...!"

"Sorry, Sultan!"

"Thank you! God, I wish you'd remember to--"

Alfred cleared his throat, seriously, this was getting a bit too boring for him. All eyes turned on him, that was more like it!

"I can get your Genie back if you want," He said proudly, shoving a thumb into his puffed out chest, "'Cause I'm like the awesomest thief in the world!"

Matthew observed him, a thought (quite a few actually) raced through his features and his mouth slowly curled into a grin, Alfred was pretty sure the room dropped a few degrees in temperature.

"Since you seem so confident in your skills, Master thief," the Sultan's eyes glinted dangerously; Ivan definitely took after his father, "I would like you to gamble your life."

.,x.{TBC}.x,.

End Note – Yea, I'm gonna try and just make these as short as possible while getting the crack across 'cause they're just a detour from the angst and PWPs I'm currently working on. Although, since I just started this series, I might update a bit frequently until I run outta cracktastic ideas.

Next chapter! …AHAHAHAHAHA, worst possible ending for Mattie ever xD