Therese didn't say anything. She simply looked at Carol across the elegant Oak Room dining room. Carol smiled, then motioned for another seat, and Therese sat beside her beloved. It was enough to simply be together, to observe, there was no need to say anything. She sat in the comfort of knowing that, at least for this moment, they were together. Who knew what would happen next, if Carol wouldn't want her after Therese had refused her offer the first time, but right now, right here, she looked at her beautiful Carol, and it was enough. And Carol and her dinner guests talked, and ate. And Therese observed. Then dinner was over. Carol walked ahead of Therese, with her other dinner guests. Arriving on the street, the two men bid her farewell, and Carol turned to her at last. Therese had begun to make her way down the street.
"You're not just going to leave me like that again." It wasn't as much a question as a command, a strange, welcoming command that opened the door to the world that Therese longed to be in. Carol did not pursue her, but stayed outside the entrance to the Oak Room, the vision of elegance that she admired and adored so much. With a smile, Therese turned back, and together they got into the cab Carol had just hailed. It was only then, in the privacy of the back seat of this cab, that Carol's firm, steady hand took Therese's small gentle one for the first time that night. Therese looked at the city going by outside. It was late enough that the streets were nearly deserted, something that she had almost never seen. Was this the world that Carol lived in? Where the streets emptied before her and people stepped aside to let the queen of the universe pass through? If so, why were they both so afraid to be honest about their feelings? Outside, there were people who thought of their relationship as wrong, as unnatural. Carol had this unexplainable ability to make her feel safer than she had ever felt on her own. Their road trip had been the most beautiful time of her life, but even then, there was awareness of the people outside their little world who did not approve, and would never approve. Would they live the rest of their lives with fear in the back of their minds, or would this be the moment that changed everything? These thoughts blended together as the cab drove towards Madison avenue. Almost in a trance, Therese allowed Carol to guide her out of the cab, into the building and then in front of a door on the top floor, steps away from the elevator, never once letting go of Carol's hand. Carol smiled as she set their hands on the door knob, Therese's on the knob, Carol's on. "Ready?"
"Yes." Therese felt herself say. Carol guided their hands to open their front door, and into their new home together. The smell was the first thing Therese noticed. Somehow, it was brand new, and familiar at the same time. The apartment was decorated exactly how she would expect Carol's apartment to look like. Perfect. The wood surfaces were well polished, the kitchen counter tops gleamed, the couches and chair cushions were perfectly smooth, as if no one had ever sat there. But there were signs that someone did live here. Mail on the table, the photographs of Rindy on the mantle were adjusted just so, so they could be seen perfectly from the couch that faced the window. Therese walked through it several times, taking it all in, mentally photographing all of it. She then turned to see Carol looking at her expectantly.
"Really?" was the only question that Therese could say.
"I'm never letting you go again." Carol responded. And Therese was enveloped into those arms that she knew so well. And they were breathing in unison, and Carol's perfume filled her nose, clearing her head and warming her heart.
"Welcome home, Therese Belivet." Carol whispered into Therese's ear.
"I love you too." Therese whispered back. And, at last, they were both safe.
That night was perfect. Gentle and quiet, there was no need to make love. They simply lay in each other's arms and enjoyed each other's presence. Therese had missed Carol's steady breath beside her, missed her smell and the golden hair that lay on her pillow as if it were cushioning her head, as if it weren't soft enough for the queen of the universe. Therese had gotten used to all these things their road trip, and as they lay together again. And cars passed, going wherever they were going, not aware that the happiest woman in the world was laying next to her beloved. Again and again she kissed Carol's luscious lips, gazing into her deep eyes, until sleep supervened.
Therese's eyes snapped open to the dark bedroom. She looked at the clock to see it was 3 AM, she had only been asleep for two hours. Several seconds later she realized Carol was gently tossing and turning next to her, murmuring in her sleep. This must have been what had woken her. She lay back down on her pillow, maybe it would pass and Carol would fall right back to sleep. She gently took the hand that lay perfectly in place as Carol's head twitched, fighting off whatever was in her mind. She heard Rindy's name punctuate these half aware ramblings. Now Carol was crying, but she was still asleep. Now she was full on screaming, begging for her daughter. Therese had had enough.
"Carol." She spoke calmly but firmly, trying to imitate the gentle, reassuring tone that Carol spoke with so naturally. "Carol. Carol." Carol began to rouse, her breath slowed slightly, though it still shook, and gripped Therese's hand rightly. Therese gently swept the golden locks out of Carol's face." It was a dream. Just a dream, you're here now. You're alright." Carol opened her eyes at last, Therese tried to smile.
"She's gone." Carol gasped out.
"No, it was just a dream." Therese wiped the tears from her face, took her into her arms, holding her against her naked body. "Just a dream. It's alright."
"Therese."
"Yes?"
"Don't ever go anywhere."
"Never." Therese said. And with Carol in her arms, Therese fell quickly back to sleep.
