Hello, I'm Nick Dahdah
Sarge the God!
One day in Blood Gulch, as the reds were lazing around, completely oblivious to the Blue presence…
Sarge was standing around, trying to think of a way to get at those damn blues… "Sarge?" Grif asked.
"What do you want, you lazy thing?"
"Um…Well sir, Its Donut. He's gone, completely Gay again. Ya' know…"
"Oh my god! Emergency plan Gamma Men!" Sarge shot Grif in the stomach.
"What the Hell Sarge?"
"Don't you ever ask me a question again Private! I'm your Sargent! I'm netter than you!"
"Didn't you once say Men are all Equal?"
"You're not a man."
"Oh, look, it's the dude in red! Sarge that outfit clashes with…Well…Your outfit."
"What did you say private?" Sarge said, pointing his gun at Donut.
"Why are you always so angry Sarge? Maybe we should sit down, have a little talk." Blamo! Sarge Shot him. And Donuts a pussy, so he had to be put in the E.R. the problem was he got Dr. House, so as they were saving his life, he was in torture!"
Later, They were looking at the Blue, when they al heard a voice. They looked around, but didn't see anything.. Until it materialized in front of them.
"Emergency plan Zeta Men! Sarge Shot Grif. (I'll be milkin' that joke all night) Anyway, The being floating in front of them was none other than, Chuck Norris!
"Sarge. I admire your hatred of the Blues. And I like Red. Its my favorite color. And I see it a lot when I round house kick people."
"So? What do you want?" Sarge asked.
"Take these powers, Sarge. They will prove useful." With that, the god that was Chuck Norris disappeared.
"What the-"
"Simmons! Its finally happened! I've been granted the powers of What I am. A God."
"Wow sir. Please, demonstrate for us."
"WoW? I hate World of Warcraft. Anyway, Le'me work my magic here…" Sarge jumped, and then jumped really high with a glow of golden light. He came back down after a few minutes.
"Impressive sir." Simmons said, trying to kiss ass.
"Yeah but I could Already Do that! I have an idea. Grif, run to the end of the Canyon."
"Hugh…On it Sir." Grif Ran to the end of the Canyon. Sarge shot his shotgun. It hit Grif. "Dammit! I could already do that too. I know Simmons, Shoot me."
"Yes sir." Simmons started shooting him as Grif walked back. He shot, and then Sarge's Shotgun started going off.
"Ah ha! Success! I wanted to convert the bullets that hit me into buckshot! And that buck shot would fire off! Grif shoot me."
Grif shot him. Grif died. And Sarge brought him back to life and killed him again. And then he brought him back to life again.
"Alright men. I'm headin' over to Blue base. I'm Pwn their asses!" Sarge jumped off the base, and started to run really fast, while he had the Ghost boost on him.
"You think we should help? Grif asked.
"Would you even help if he asked for it?"
Grif immediately replied "No."
Sarge had picked up the Shot gun in front of Red base, so now he hadtwo Shotguns. And he was duel wielding them. (Something else that he already could do) And he picked up the shot gun in front of Blue base, and was triple wielding them. (He could already do that two.) He jumped on Blue base, and began to Pwn everyone there. Church died, then Caboose, who too stupid to get Killed, was finally triple shot gunned. Tucker died in a perverted that would get me kicked off of this website if I posted it (Plus I couldn't think of anything) Then Sarge Revived them all in front of him, and killed them all again. And again. And again. When he decided He had won, He painted the Blue base red, and heroically walked up to Red base.
"We won sir! The war is over!" Simmons applauded.
"No Simmons, the war may be over in Blood Gulch, but I've got to finish the fight. I'm goanna go take care of those bastards in Fire Team Charlie!"
THE
END
(Rock music plays)
