Here she was again. Another bar, another night, another man. And yet she still felt nothing. How could she move forward if she couldn't feel anything anymore? The loud, sultry music the DJ played reverberated in her vocal cords. She closed her eyes as the whiskey slid down her throat, leaving no pain in its wake. She pulled out the ice from her glass, closed her eyes and placed it against her cheek. She barely registered its coolness.
Then he entered the room. She couldn't believe her eyes. Here was someone she hadn't seen in 10 years. He looked so different from the last time she remembered him, but he looked like he used to before he changed from the last time she saw him. A spark of nostalgia sparked in her heart and the beat was gone. They locked eyes, a moment of recognition scratched over his face and then his eyes lit up. He jogged over to where she was sitting.
"Felicity Smoak? Oh my God, how are you? You look beautiful. God, how long has it been? 10 years. Wow, we are old. What're you up to these days?"
"Oliver. I've been great. I'm head of the Applied Sciences division at Palmer Tech, actually. I thought you would have known that, being the CEO of Queen Consolidated and all." She gazed into his eyes, hoping for some kind of remembrance of the youthful crush she used to have on him. A time in her life that she desperately missed, one that she wanted back.
"No, I'm sorry. But you are so intelligent; you'll be running the place soon. You're gonna be a legend. We'll be royalty, I'll be a king, and you'll be the queen. God, you're eyes are so blue and bright. Actually- you know what we'll be Young Gods. But for tonight, we're human." He said, eyes dancing with mirth and seduction.
"Let's dance." She said and promptly stood up grabbing his hand. The sultry music amplified as they reached closer to the dance floor. They danced as dirty as they could in public, and then she turned to him and whispered in his ear, "let's go back to my place." He smirked, and they both exited the club towards his car. She told him where she lived, and off they drove. The top of his car was down and the wind was blowing in their hair, the cold air biting their skin. She felt something again, for just a moment. And then Halsey's Drive came on the radio. And she started to sing along.
"Your laugh echoes down the highway
Carves into my hollow chest,
Spreads over the emptiness
It's bliss"
They pulled up to her driveway, and she looked at him as she sang:
It's so simple but we can't stay
Overanalyze again
Would it really kill you if we kissed?
The air suddenly became thick, they locked eyes, and then they leaner over and kissed each other and she felt something again, something great. And then it was gone. She was so angry. She jumped out of the car, and ran. He chased after her. When he figured out which way she ran, he couldn't find her until he saw her sitting in the bottom of her pool. It was freezing outside, and all she had on was a black dress. He reached in, the cold air stabbing his arm, and yanked her out.
And I've been sitting at the bottom of a swimming pool
For a while now, drowning my thoughts out with sounds
He pulled her out, "Jesus! What are you doing? Have you lost your freaking mind? It's freezing outside. Get inside, go." And she obeyed. She took him up to her room. "Go get a towel and drive yourself off. What were you thinking?" Again she obeyed, silently. He looked at her, "Are you just gonna do whatever I tell you, no questions asked?" She nodded. Then his smile turned feral. He then said:
"Oh, baby girl, don't get cut on my edges
I'm the king of everything and oh, my tongue is a weapon
There's a light in the crack that's separating your thighs
And if you wanna go to heaven you should fuck me tonight"
"Take off your clothes." She just looked at him and then began to unzip her dress. He looked at her, and remembered what was going on, and stopped. "Is this what you really want? Do you want to sleep with me? If you don't, just say so and I will leave your house and never bring it up again. What's happening is I'm asking for your consent." He looked at her, patiently, awaiting her answer.
"I want this." She uttered, and gave herself over to him. He pinned her to the wall and they went at it.
"You know I've loved you since we first met, right?" Her ears stung. She didn't want to hear any of it. "Tell me, am I your first?" He asked as he was pounding into her.
"No." she gritted through closed eyelids, and a bit lip. This seemed to anger him and he pounded into her faster and faster. When they had both finished he had lipstick all over him and she had been marked. She closed her eyes. She was feeling something and it didn't feel fleeting. It was euphoric. She asked him to stay and to whisper sweet nothings into her ear until she fell asleep. He agreed. And they slept next to each other. When he reached for her again that night, he kept whispering in her ear.
Except she didn't want his breathy "I love you" or his "you're beautiful" as the words seemed to burn into her skin. She hated that feeling. But at least she was feeling again. So she took his words and let them burn and mark her. She felt like she was back in high school again when she would have died to hear him say those things, to feel his lips, to have sex with him. It was great. When they fell back asleep, she slept through the whole night. It didn't matter if he was there when she woke up or not, she felt something. And it felt right. She would start over tomorrow waiting to feel something again, but she would always remember this night.
