Jane
September 27th

I see her and I want to talk to her but I can't. She scares me. Her intelligence scares me. She speaks of things that I don't know about. Like science and numbers. Neither one a strong subject for me in school. I dealt better with the physical aspects of school, like phys. ed. And English. I enjoyed English glass. I loved reading books; discovering new authors and discussing their points. I enjoyed writing too. I haven't done it in a while. But I'm afraid to tell her that. She would judge me. She judges me already. And it hurts. I thought she was different.

Maura
September 29th

What did I do? What do I do? I haven't heard from Jane in days. Well two days to be exact, but still that's unlike her. Even when busy with a case, she still finds time for me. I play the last week's events in my head trying to come up with a reason for her unnatural absence. Nothing. There is nothing that comes to mind.

I should just call her. She will pick up my call. Won't she?

Jane
October 1st

I miss my best friend.

Jane
October 3rd

There's a storm coming. The biggest snowfall Boston has ever seen, they're predicting. I'm so glad I'm not a PO anymore. It sucks for Frankie though. He's on call tonight. Not that anyone expects there to be a breakout of crime, because we don't. There is one thing the criminals of Boston do right, and that is stay home when there is bad weather.

I call my mother to make sure she has everything she needs. I don't want her or Pop traveling in the storm or even out before the snow actually hits. I know there is going to be a mass panic later on with everyone going to the market to load up on supplies. She says that she's fine and ask that Maura and I come stay with them. I don't answer right away and she immediately knows that something is wrong. I try to avoid the subject but fail miserably.

"I fucked up, Ma," I tell her.

She wants to know what I did and I tell her, "Acted like an ass."
"What else is new, Jane," Ma fires back. "Talk to her."
"I don't know if I can, Ma."
"She loves you, Jane. Nothing you say will change that."

I feel tears slip down my cheeks. My mother knows. Ma hears my breath hitch.

"Janie, don't be ashamed of who you are. I know I'm not. And either is your father or Frankie. We will love you no matter what."

I look up and sigh. She may be a pain in my ass but she is my mother and she knows me better than anyone. Sometimes I hate her for it and at other times, like now, I love her for it; for putting me in my place.

"Ok. We'll be there soon. I love you too, Ma."
"Drive safely."

Maura
October 3rd

Jane is at my door. I heard her pull up into my driveway and I waited for her to stroll through to my kitchen, but she doesn't. She stands at my door. I watch on the survailence cameras as she fights with herself. I see her lips moving but can't hear the pep talk she's giving herself. Her body language is telling me all I need to know though. She's tired. And remorseful of have we ended our last conversation. With her head hung low, she finally knocks on the door. I roll my shoulders back trying to ease the tension that has settled there. I stand behind the door and steel myself for the conversation to come.

I open the door. I look at her and she looks at me. Nothing is said and soon she lowers her head. A choked sob emits from her throat and immediately she is in my arms. I hold her as she releases her tension; something that isn't easy for Jane to do. Few if any are allowed to see the vulnerable side of Jane and I'm thankful that I am one of them.

"I've gotten snot on your blouse. I'm sorry. I probably can't afford to dry clean it," she laughs.
"Oh, Jane."
"Do we have to talk about this?"

I can see that she's uncomfortable about what just happened and I don't want her to shut down.

"Later."
"Ok."

I move in for a quick hug knowing that this closeness isn't going to last long. But she surprises me. When I go to pull away, Jane holds on tighter.

"My mother wants us to stay at the house until the storm settles down."
"Storm?" I pull back to look at her.
"Haven't you been watching the weather reports or listening to the radio? A blizzard is headed this way. They say we're getting about 3-4 feet."
"Really?"
"Uh, yeah."
"So why do we have to stay at your parents' house? My house is quite capable of providing us with shelter."
"It's Ma, okay. She has always been this way when any type of threat on family."
"It's snow, Jane. That's not really a threat."
"Can we just humor her, Maur?" Jane pleads.

I pretend to give it serious thought even though I know I'm going to say yes.

"Maura," she whines.
"You should already know that I'm going to agree," I smile and pull her in closer.

I forget about our reunion minutes earlier and move in to kiss her lips. I don't know whether I'm more surprised than she is concerning my bold move, but I soon apologize.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that."
Placing a finger on my lips, Jane replies, "Don't. You meant to and I wanted you to."