JAEGER AMONG THE DEAD
Chapter One – Outside
Eren stumbled down a hill covered in underbrush, after his foot was caught by a root. He struggled to get untangled from the thorned bushes while he listened to the cries from Hannes above.
"GET BACK UP EREN!" Hannes screamed "WE NEED TO HURRY"
"Go without me! SHIT!" Eren cursed as the thorns dug into his arm "If you wait for me, it may be too late!"
Hannes nodded and sprinted away. In a matter of seconds, Mikasa ran to the spot on the hill that Hannes just vacated. She wore a worried look as she gazed down at Eren.
"Eren! Stay there, I'll help you!"
"NO MIKASA! DON'T!" he shouted desperately "YOU'RE NEEDED MOST OUT OF ALL OF US! I'LL BE RIGHT THERE, SO STOP WASTING TIME GODDAMNIT!"
With one more longing glance, Mikasa took off after Hannes. Eren hated that about her, always attempting to save him in even the smallest troubles when she was needed elsewhere. Eren took out his knife and cut off the sleeve of his jacket to free himself from the brambles and trampled off onto a path that let back to the woods. With his right foot throbbing, heart pounding like a jackhammer, Eren stampeded towards the sounds of gunfire and helpless screams. He kept cursing himself as his feet pounded away at the forest floor. If only he hadn't taken that fall, maybe they could have been saved, because even though Eren couldn't see the terror, he knew the outcome.
Out of breath, Eren emerged into a clearing where he looked upon a terrible sight. The dead got here first. Several groups of them were huddled over Eren's comrades; tearing away at their flesh and entrails until there was only bone. He saw Hannes using a hatchet to eliminate the crowding zombies, as a hopeless attempt to save his doomed companions. Mikasa was picking them off in her path, using a katana to slash them to bits.
Eren stood and watched the scene, breathing heavily and hope fading, he was conflicted on what to do. Just then a gunshot brought him back to reality; in the distance, he saw a man he knew as Moses, firing aimlessly at the group of zombies stalking towards him.
"Eren!" Hannes shouted. "go help Hannah! On your right!"
Without a second thought, Eren sprinted towards the trembling brunette who was being surrounded. Using his knife, he took out the zombies closest in his path towards Hannah; imbedding the blade in their skulls. A zombie latched a hand onto Hannah's shoulder and she cried out, shooting it in the head with the pistol she gripped tightly in her shaking hand.
"FUCK YOU!" Eren roared, as he fell another walking corpse that reached out for Hannah.
"Eren?!" Hannah gasped.
He swiped her firearm away and replaced it with the knife.
"Save the bullets for the others, we can handle these shitheads without them!" Eren assured.
She nodded and began to stab at the surrounding dead, while Eren bludgeoned them with a hammer he had taken from one of his fallen comrades.
Eren repeatedly brought the claw of the hammer to meet the brains of his enemies; each blow connecting with a sickening crunch, thick black blood spurting out as he pulled away. One by one the zombies fell before Eren's offense, piling up in a rotting heap. A fat, lumbering corpse made its way towards Hannah, she attempted to put it down, but the bastard was too tall for her. Eren tackled the obese corpse to the ground; saving Hannah once again from certain death.
"Son of a bitch! Don't fucking touch her!" Eren said through gritted teeth as he brought down the hammer between the zombie's eyes. He tried to retrieve his hammer, but it was stuck in the zombie's skull. Eren pulled back with all his might, injured foot pressing against the front of the corpse, he yanked harder and harder until he lost his balance and with a sickening ripping noise the hammer pulled free. When Eren Lifted the hammer, he was instantly disgusted, and after a 'fuck this' under his breath, he tossed the hammer, and the head still attached to it, off to the side.
Hannah helped Eren to his feet and returned his knife. He accepted it after looking to see if she was safe from the dead. Turning his head back towards their comrades , Eren saw Hannes and Moses atop a large rock fighting for their lives. Both men were kicking away the surrounding corpses, and whenever one became too close, Hannes hacked away with his hatchet and Moses would shoot them, but he would soon become overwhelmed because of all the previously wasted bullets. Mikasa was trying to make her way to the others, but even with her skill, the herd of undead was beginning to take it's toll on her. She swiftly slashed at her rotting enemies; decapitating, disarming and slicing below the knees. Even though her attacks didn't kill them, it was the only way to reach her friends before they were overcome.
With the pain of his injuries finally setting in, Eren limped as quickly as he could over to aid his friends. Then, what he had feared most from the beginning of the mission happened. Moses, using his firearm as a club, bashed one of the zombie's head, but lost his footing on the rock and fell forward. Hannes caught him by the back of his shirt, but the corpses also had a firm grip on Moses. The load of both Moses and the zombie became too much for Hannes, and with that he let go. Moses cried out in pain, falling into the crowd of corpses, meeting his fate. Hannes viciously began chopping at the zombies still surrounding him and the group attacking Moses. Mikasa began quickening her pace; each swing of her blade cutting through two or three corpses. Knowing he wouldn't reach them in time, Eren pulled out the pistol he had taken from Hannah, and began firing at the group of zombies surrounding Moses.
Eren's thoughts began to betray him.
'Why… why do we continue fighting? All we're doing is trying to save a man who is already dead.'
Furious, tears began to fall down Eren's cheeks, and he started firing off bullets furiously, not caring what they hit, as long as whatever that was died. Even though he ran out of ammo, his finger wouldn't stop pulling the trigger; the small clicks reminding him of the hopeless victory he and his friends were trying to achieve.
"Eren." Mikasa spoke up with her monotone voice.
Not wanting her to see his momentary weakness, he quickly brushed his tears away, and looked at his friend.
"W-What?" Eren choked out.
She clutched at her scarf and looked back at him with solemn eyes.
"It's over. I'm sorry." And walked off in Hannah's direction.
Eren slowly limped over to Hannes, who was wearing a look of defeat as he loomed over the partially devoured Moses. He spotted a small slit oozing blood down his forehead. He figured Mikasa finished the job before Moses could turn.
"He'd still be alive…" Hannes's voice was merely a whisper. "If only I held on longer…why…this is my fault."
Eren wanted to tell him so badly how this was his own doing, but he knew that it would be better if they left this horrid nightmare as fast as they could. Hannes looked up, realizing he wasn't alone as Eren gripped his shoulder.
"C'mon. Let's get Hannah and leave." Said Eren.
Closing his eyes while taking a deep breath, Hannes nodded at Eren's words. Taking Eren's hand, he draped his arm over his shoulders, letting the boy use him as a crutch so they could join the girls together. Upon arriving, Eren noticed Mikasa unsuccessfully attempting to convince Hannah to her feet.
"Hannah, you need to get up," Mikasa pleaded with her. "We can't stay here any longer."
"B-But… I… I…" Hannah stuttered.
"Spit it out Hannah!" Eren said harshly.
"I… I… F-F-Franz." She said as tears started to roll down her freckled cheeks.
Eren then spotted lying next to Hannah, Franz. Once, a tall and somewhat handsome boy, black hair cropped short and olive skin, was now motionless with flesh torn from his neck, and body in two halves. Eren looked back at Mikasa; she wore a pleading look in her eyes and he knew what to do. Letting go of Hannes, he knelt down beside the upper half of Franz, and unsheathed his knife once again. Before he could make a move, Hannah put herself between him and Franz.
"Hannah… he-" Eren began, but was cut off by Mikasa.
"Hannah." She said sternly as she turned Hannah roughly by the shoulders to face her. "He's gone. There's nothing we can do. Now, I want you to ask yourself this; would you rather remember the boy that loved you, or have him become the very thing that stole him from you?"
Hannah slowly turned back to look at Franz one more time. She gripped his hand, slightly shaking with fresh tears falling to the blood stained grass. Looking up, she faced Eren and closed her eyes slightly nodding. Licking his lips, Eren tightly gripped the knife and brought it down swiftly.
Eren and Mikasa made their way through the forest path at a slow pace, with Hannes and Hannah a bit further ahead, they would soon return to the sanctuary, Maria. Mikasa supported Eren's weigh, his arm on her shoulders while he stepped with his uninjured foot. Occasionally Mikasa would glance at her dearest friend, trying to see what he was thinking, though she had no success due to the emptiness in Eren's eyes. Normally, he was very emotional in every aspect; he only shut down like this on rare occasions.
Of course, everyone showed emotion in a different way. Except Mikasa. She made an oath long ago to keep her spirit at bay; to never let anybody get close to her, and most importantly, to put away her vulnerability deep inside for no one to see. She only let the mask down to those who actually mattered in her life, and thankfully that list was small. Eren resided highest on that list, then Doctor Jaeger, who took Mikasa into the Jaeger household after her parents were brutally murdered. Then there was Eren's best friend Armin Arlert, a small and frail, blonde boy who was also extremely intelligent for his age of only fifteen; which was four years under Mikasa, and three under Eren.
Though she did not grow up with him as Eren did, they had become very close friends. What sparked her interest in him was mainly his outlook on life, which int he past had attracted unwanted bullies that she and Eren constantly saved him from. Mikasa felt bad for Armin, but there were times when he had the ability to shed his timid demeanor and leave her and Eren speechless. This was proven long ago.
It was the second week of January; Mikasa trudged briskly through the snow behind Eren, who was thoroughly enjoying himself by throwing snowballs at passing cars. Every time one of his chosen victims would swerve uncontrollably upon windshield making contact with air born snow, he would break into a fit of hysterical laughter. Eren's antics would occasionally cause Mikasa to grin, but thankfully her scarf was still a bit to large for her back then, otherwise everybody would have been able to see the stupid grin that was plastered to her face.
They arrived at the high school that Armin attended; he being the only eight year old in an eleventh grade class at the time. He was standing near a large tree in front of the school, wearing a few sizes too large jacket. Eren ran over to his friend, giving him a 'friendly' smack on the back upon arrival, which sent Armin flying to the snow. Mikasa quickly helped him to his feet, scolding Eren for being so careless in the process. He answered her scowl by shrugging with a sheepish grin on his face. He only stopped smiling once he saw the black eye Armin was now sporting.
Walking home was silent and uncomfortable; Eren kept attempting small talk with his best friend, trying to help keep his mind off his most recent encounter with his regular bullies. Armin was obviously not in the mood for chatter. They came upon a star bucks, where Eren decided that maybe some hot chocolate would brighten the situation. After he ran inside, Armin sat himself down on the curb. Mikasa took sympathy and had a seat beside the small boy. A minute had gone by in awkward silence due to the lack of Eren's charismatic presence. She eventually decided to try conversation with him, since this may have been the only time they had ever been alone together since acquaintance. Armin suddenly took off his hood; letting snow fall to his golden hair, he exhaled. Mikasa shifted uncomfortably, cursing the snow for making her bottom numb, she engaged him.
"umm… does it hurt?"
"Wha?" Armin breathed as he turned to face her.
"Your eye. Well… I guess that's a dumb question. Never mind."
"Oh, no it's fine really… erm…" He assured. "I mean the question is. My eye hurts a lot though… well obviously." He finished with a sad smile.
Mikasa scooped up a snowball in her hands and handed it over to Armin.
"Oh, uh… thank you." He said while wincing as the snow touched his swollen eye.
"I'm sorry Armin… about how everyone treats you… how the world is unfair."
She was sure he wouldn't respond, but what he did was very surprising to her. Armin began to chuckle as he slightly shook his head. Confused and somewhat offended, Mikasa tugged at the front of her scarf.
"What's so funny?" She said in a bit of a warning tone. Armin looked up wearing a half smile.
"It's just… what you said I guess. You see, you're wrong, well no half wrong actually. You just need to understand that… people are unfair, not life."
Mikasa gripped the scarf a bit more tightly and raised an eyebrow at him, which caused Armin's smile to grow a bit wider.
"Mikasa, understand this, and it's just my opinion, okay?"
Mikasa nodded and let him continue.
"The world hasn't changed. People have. People will always gripe about life being difficult, but it isn't the world to blame. People are the ones who make it hell. If you stop to smell the flowers every now and then, you can get a glimpse at the beauty that life has to offer. But, there will always be people to make things look deformed and ugly. Do you see it now Mikasa?"
Ever since that day, Mikasa understood how to see things more clearly, no matter what it was Armin's speech would ring in her head. She had taken those words as an oath and used the message they held as a personal mantra, especially ever since the outbreak six years ago. She now lived her life by that message.
The world is beautiful, But cruel.
Inside Maria, Eren resigned to a small cabin that was used for medical check ups. He sat on a cot, staring at his reflection in a mirror that leaned against the wall. Eren was a mess. Just about from head to toe, he was covered in dirt and blood, he had cuts and small punctures adorning his exposed skin; his left forearm was thrashed and bloody from where it was caught in the brambles, a large bruise had formed at the end of his right foot, and dried blood caked his wound as well as his disheveled hair. The fall he took did much more damage than he thought.
Eren was thinking back to when they returned to the sanctuary not too long ago. There was a large crowd waiting for them as they walked through Maria's south gate, many becoming devastated upon realizing they had their loved ones, even with some relief of Hannah's return, it still wasn't enough for the people's satisfaction. Most of their anger began to be pointed at Hannes; Eren would have been taking the heat as well, but it seemed they were going to let him slide this time due to his current condition. Plus Mikasa was accompanying him, so that doubled the protection.
It was beginning to look bad for Hannes, until the sanctuary's leader, Keith, stepped in to settle the rioting crowd, which gave Eren and Mikasa the chance to slip away. Before they deserted the group, Eren spotted an older woman on her knees, sobbing a name that was all too familiar. Moses.
Breaking him from his thoughts, Mikasa came in carrying two buckets of water; his father appeared next behind her.
"Eren." Grisha greeted his son.
"Hi Dad." Eren responded solemnly.
"I heard you took quite a fall." Grisha added
Eren fought with all his remaining strength to hold back tears that threatened to fall. They fell anyway, not because of his father's words, but it was because there was a sudden large pressure on his injured foot.
"MOTHERFU-"
"Language, Eren." His dad cut him off sternly as he continued feeling his foot.
"Agh! S-Sorry."
"Anyway, these three toes," he gestured towards "are no doubt broken."
Taking out some bandages, Eren winced and gritted his teeth as his father wrapped his foot tightly
"Please excuse us Mikasa." Grisha asked, she nodded and stepped outside.
Eren slowly stripped off his blood stained clothing. His father retrieved one of the buckets and began cleaning Eren's wounds with a cold washcloth. He slightly flinched whenever pressure was applied to a puncture or larger cut, but it truly became hell once Grisha began dressing the wounds with peroxide and disinfectant cream. Once all of his injuries were cleaned and fully bandaged, he put on a pair of sweat pants his dad brought with him. Afterwards, he called Mikasa back inside.
"Well, all and all the only thing serious is his foot. He just needs to ice it and get some rest. Now if you don't mind, I need you to clean him up, please."
"I can do that myself!" Eren protested.
Ignoring his son, Grisha went on. "I need to grab a few more things at the infirmary. I'll be right back." And took his leave.
Mikasa brought over the second bucket and seated herself next to Eren. Frustrated for being treated like a two year old, he plopped back down on the cot with a loud huff. Mikasa began scrubbing the dirt and dried blood off of Eren's hands. At least the water was warm this time. She washed around his neck then his face; a ghost of a smile appearing on her lips, glad to see his face clear again. While Eren kept busy cleaning the crusted blood out of his nostrils, Mikasa slowly worked on his torso.
"Mikasa?"
She broke away and peered into his eyes.
"Yes?"
"Mikasa… I… I… Mikasa…"
"Eren?"
He was obviously trying to get something off his chest, but speech appeared to be difficult at the moment. Taking his hand she led him over to the sink so that she could wash his hair out. She guided his head under the faucet, using a bit of soap, Mikasa gently massaged the blood out of Eren's dark brown locks. He sighed, which caused her to slightly smile with a pink hue across her cheeks. Shutting off the water, she handed Eren a fresh towel. After he dried himself, he slipped on a white t-shirt that his dad left with him.
"Thanks." He muttered while scratching the back of his head.
Mikasa pulled up her scarf while mumbling back "No problem."
After another minute of silence, Doctor Jaeger returned, carrying a metal tray that held a small ice pack and two syringes.
"This" he said while putting down the ice "is for you foot. And this is for the pain." He finished as he held up the first syringe.
"What is it?" Eren inquired.
"You wouldn't remember even if I told you three times. Now hold out you arm."
Rolling his eyes, Eren obliged; slightly tensing up while his father administered the painkiller. Afterwards, he retrieved the remaining syringe; this one was half filled with a bright green liquid.
"What's that?"
Before he answered his son, Grisha stared at the syringe for a few moments, which made Eren slightly worried.
"Dad?"
"It will help fight off any possible infection. It's just a precaution though. You should be fine." He said as Eren was given the final injection. He gathered his things back into his briefcase as he continued. "If you get a fever, that's a normal side effect. Get some sleep, we'll talk more tomorrow." And excused himself without a glance back.
"Mikasa." Eren piped up.
Looking down at him, Mikasa noticed tears rolling down his face.
"Yes Eren?"
"It's... my fault… all my fault"
Sitting herself beside him, she grasped his hand between both of hers.
"No, Eren it's not," She assured him. "Just because you fell, doesn't mean the outcome of whether anybody lived or died would've changed. In reality, when you really weigh it, the blame belongs to me. I should've just listened to you and kept going."
"No, that's not what I meant!" Eren choked out.
"Then what?"
"I… I gave everybody hope."
"Eren, what are you saying?"
"It's because I chose to go after them, when Hannes told us I didn't think I just ran outside Maria as fast as I could. I created false hope, which just caused more suffering because they thought that I could bring them back!"
Eren was shaking violently, his breathing deep and ragged. His tears fell to Mikasa's boots, making small patters as each drop hit. Placing hands on his face, she lifted his head so that he could look at her. Mikasa then brought his face down to meet her chest.
"Eren."
"mmm?"
"Do you know why I always help you? Why I'm always trying to save you? Why I refuse to leave your side?"
"mmphm."
"It's because" I love you "you gave me a new life. You gave me hope that I could never find… Eren… the fact that you left immediately when you heard that Moses and the others were leaving, just shows how much you want to protect everyone… that you want humanity to survive."
Lifting his head back up to face her, Mikasa looked into Eren's eyes; tears brimming in her own.
"Nobody is perfect Eren. Mistakes will always be waiting, don't blame yourself for the choices of others and please don't talk about the hope you give being false, because you give me hope." a tear rolled down her cheek as she spoke "You give me the fire to carry on and if you died, who would I turn to?"
After finishing her statement, Eren brought his arms around her; holding her as tight as he could. Mikasa was shocked at his gesture. The last time he did this was when he lost his mom.
"Mikasa" He spoke up, voice filled with emotion. "… mark my words… I'm not going to die. Not here, out there or anywhere else… I'll never leave. I'll never die."
"Eren…" She breathed as she held him back, burying her face into the crook of his neck.
They both held each other like that for what seemed to be hours, to Mikasa at least. Unfortunately, Eren killed the moment by releasing a very over exaggerated yawn. Pulling away from each other, Mikasa arched her eyebrows at Eren, who started rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand.
"I'm sorry." He said through another yawn.
"Am I boring you?" Mikasa said sarcastically.
Eren didn't seem to catch it. "I should sleep. Go find Armin, I'm sure he's worried about us."
"Okay."
Eren pulled the covers over himself while Mikasa handed him a pillow and placed the ice on his bandaged foot.
"Goodnight."
"Night." Eren called back.
Mikasa shut the door to the cabin slowly. She put all her weight against it trying to get her heartbeat under control. She was still finding it difficult to believe the moment that she just shared with Eren.
'Maybe I'll tell him… tomorrow?'
She hoped that this was the birth of something wonderful; hoping she had sowed the seeds of new possibilities between them that she always wanted.
Trying to regain her composure, she set off in search for Armin like Eren suggested, a warm smile still adorning her face.
