Lethal combination: I am bored out of my mind. Caribbean is out doing something, and I really don't feel like talking to my boss/father figure at the moment. So I shall do the normal thing: I will annoy one of the other countries.
I need to decide who. England is still mad after the whole incident with Flying Mint Bunny and my "bat" Dracula, so he was out of the question. Switzerland is on vacation with his sister. France will do something perverted. Russia's still hiding from Belarus after last time. My sister is probably still annoyed over the whole me prank-calling her 'boss' thing, I don't feel like touring my homeland at the moment, Italy annoys me, and if I kill him Germany, the Italian Mafia, and possibly Spain will try to kill me. Again. Prussia will get me to go drinking with him then call in France and Spain, America and Denmark, or all four of them.
Wait—America! Perfect! He's the perfect target, since he does this kinda thing all the time.
†††††††††††††††††††††THIS IS A INFERNI LINE-BREAK THINGY!††††††††††††††††††††††
Using a spell to teleport (my older 'brother' and Hecate taught me magic), I arrived at America's house fairly quickly.
"Dude, Inferni! What are ya doing here?" America asked, sounding happy. He must be bored too.
Just to explain quickly: Inferni is Latin for Underworld, the place I represent.
"Bored," I said with a smirk. Dracula was perched on my shoulder.
"Did you have to bring the flying rat?" America asked, looking freaked out. Dracula hissed at him.
"Leave Dracula alone, America! He won't bite. Unless you tick either me or him off."
"Fine. I just hope he leaves Tony alone," American said. I followed him inside. I noticed Tony playing some weird video game.
"Hey Tony," I said. The alien looked up, nodded, and then went back to his game. I'm surprised that he didn't cuss me out.
"Oh come on Tony! I was about to show Inferni how awesome the hero is at Guitar Hero!" America complained. I smirked. He knows he will never beat me at Guitar Hero.
"F**k off, dumbs**t." There it is.
"Well, we can do something else," I said. I looked around and saw a very familiar-looking device.
"Karaoke!" I yelled. Ha ha ha….. NOTHING can beat me at karaoke.
"Wanna do that, then?" America asked.
"Heck yeah!"
"Just cause I'm the hero doesn't mean I'll go easy on you though," America said.
"Oh please America," I said. "You will never beat me at karaoke." I had just unknowingly declared war.
"Well, why not make a little bet?" America asked.
"What kind of bet?" I asked, interested.
"Loser has to give up something they love for a month," America said.
"Fine. If I win, you give up all junk food for a month," I said. America paled.
"Not my hamburgers dude! That's cruel!"
"I thought you said that you can't lose, since you're the hero," I told him.
"Fine." America had an evil glint in his eyes. "But if I win, you have to give up all of your horror movies, horror books, and metal/punk/hardcore music." WHAT?
"DUDE! That's way more than I'm making you give up!" I yelled.
"I thought you said that you wouldn't lose," America said.
"Let's start this then," I said. "Either way, I highly doubt that even the hero can beat the Underworld."
"That just shows how heroic I am!"
We were about to start, then the two of us heard arguing coming from the front door. In burst England and Caribbean.
"Oh hey Inferni," Caribbean said. "Whatcha doing here?"
"Preparing to beat America at karaoke," I responded.
"What?" England asked. "That bloody wanker can't sing!"
"Yes I can Iggy!" America yelled.
"Besides, he can't give up unless he wants to lose the bet," I said.
"Bet?"
"America said that we should bet. So now he has something to lose," I said.
"Isn't your economy bad enough without you gambling, American Idiot?" Caribbean asked, giving America a disapproving look. American Idiot was her (hilariously accurate) nickname for America. She's been calling him thatforever, long before Green Day even existed. But you should have seen her the day that that album came out.
"Well, there's no way in hell I am going to let you screw up your economy more," England sighed. "I'll go for you."
"Umm…. We aren't betting money," I said," and if you are gonna sing for him, you are contributing to our little bet."
"WHAT? There is no bloody way in hell that I am going to contribute!" England said.
"I'll contribute!" Caribbean said. "And I'm on Inferni's team!"
"Great!" America said, grinning. "But only Inferni's singing. The bet is that the loser has to give something up for a month."
"What are you giving up?" Caribbean asked her two friends.
"If we lose, I have to give up everything horror and all my punk/heavy metal/hardcore music," I said.
"And you have to give up…. pìna coladas," America said.
"NOT MY PINA COLADAS!"
"Don't worry, I won't lose, even if I'm going up against the King of Punk," I said.
"YOU BETTER NOT!"
"If we lose, which of course won't happen, since I'm the hero—"
"I'M the hero you idiot!" Caribbean yelled.
"I AM!"
"YOU SUCK!"
"YOU SUCK!"
"YOUR FAST FOOD SUCKS!" Caribbean had just entered the war officially.
America gasped in disbelief. "HOLY S**T YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT!"
"YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT BAKA!"
"WOULD YOU ALL SHUT UP YOU BLOODY GITS!" England yelled.
"Just let them fight," I said.
"So, what is America giving up if we lose?"
"All junk food for a month," I said.
"That would be good for him, actually," England said.
"Yes, but you would have to give up something to," I reminded him. I thought for a brief moment, then thought of the perfect thing he should give up.
"England, if you lose, you have to be nice to everyone for a month—especially France and America. And no drinking to dull the pain," I said, giving him my trademark evil smirk.
England's reaction was exactly what one would expect. "THERE IS NO F**KING WAY IN BLOODY HELL I'M DOING THAT!"
"Sorry, but you volunteered."
"Don't worry Iggy," America said, throwing an arm around the older nation. "Just don't lose!"
"America, I am going to enjoy seeing you go without junk food for a month," Caribbean said.
"But I'm not losing, cause I'm—"
"WE ARE NOT STARTING THAT AGAIN!" England and I yelled at the same time. America stopped, looking serious for once. Actually, Caribbean looked serious too.
The karaoke war had begun.
††††††††††††††THIS IS AN INFERNI AND CARIBBEAN LINE-BREAK THINGY!††††††††††††††
Rules were simple: Three rounds, each person getting three songs. Losing is not an option.
England went first. Why?
"Cause he's on my team, and this is my karaoke machine," America said.
"Just pick your song already," I snapped back.
"Let's see here….."England said, looking for a good song. "Got one."
I was curious to see what he would pick. The song title that came up on the screen was… "The Killing Moon" by Echo and the Bunnymen.
"Dude, what kind of name is 'Echo and the Bunnymen'?" America asked.
"They're better than you think, America," I said. I personally liked them, and "The Killing Moon" was one of my favorite songs.
"Here goes nothing," England muttered.
The song started, and England began singing.
"'Under blue moon I saw you
So soon you'll take me
Up in your arms
Too late to beg you or cancel it
Though I know it must be the killing time
Unwillingly mine
Fate
Up against your will
Through the thick and thin
He will wait until
You give yourself to him'"
I couldn't deny that he was good. However, am I worried? Of course not. Why? Cause I'm me. You need another reason?
"'In starlit nights I saw you
So cruelly you kissed me
Your lips a magic world
Your sky all hung with jewels
The killing moon
Will come too soon
Fate
Up against your will
Through the thick and thin
He will wait until
You give yourself to him
Under blue moon I saw you
So soon you'll take me
Up in your arms
Too late to beg you or cancel it
Though I know it must be the killing time
Unwillingly mine
Fate
Up against your will
Through the thick and thin
He will wait until
You give yourself to him
Fate
Up against your will
Through the thick and thin
He will wait until
You give yourself to him
You give yourself to him
La la la la la...
Fate
Up against your will
Through the thick and thin
He will wait until
You give yourself to him
La la la la la...
Fate
Up against your will
Through the thick and thin
He will wait until
You give yourself to him
You give yourself to him
La la la la la..
Fate
Up against your will
Through the thick and thin
He will wait until
You give yourself to him
Fate
Up against your will
Through the thick and thin
He will wait until
You give yourself to him
La la la la la…'"
The song was over. The machine was going crazy.
"SINGER 1 IS F**KING AWESOME!"
"Iggy! You rock man!" America yelled, patting England on the back. "There is no way Inferni could top that!"
"Right…" I said as I walked up to the machine to see the songs. Okay, I will win this! It was my idea to do this in the first place.
Hmm… I hope they have music I like….
I found a very familiar song. Not my first choice, but I couldn't resist.
"America! I hope you like this one! It's dedicated to you!" I yelled. The song title came on the screen.
"American Idiot"
Caribbean was laughing, England was trying not to laugh, and America was giving me a death glare.
"Don't. You. DARE."
"Ha ha ha! You know very well that I dare, America," I said. The music came on, and I completely ignored America, Caribbean, and England so that I could focus on the song.
"'Don't wanna be an American Idiot
Don't wanna nation that's under the new media
And can you hear the sounds of hysteria
The subliminal mind f**k America
Welcome to a new kind of tension
All across the alien nation
Everything isn't meant to be okay
Television dreams of tomorrow
We're not the ones who're meant to follow
For that's enough to argue'"
"Don't let her get to you man!" England yelled, shaking a very angry America. "She's doing this just to tick you off! Don't let her get to you!"
"'Well maybe I'm the f****t America
I'm not a part of a redneck agenda
Now everybody do the propaganda
And sing along in the age of paranoia
Welcome to a new kind of tension
All across the alien nation
Everything isn't meant to be okay
Television dreams of tomorrow
We're not the ones who're meant to follow
For that's enough to argue
Don't wanna be an American idiot
Don't wanna nation controlled by the media
Information nation of hysteria
It's goin out to idiot America
Welcome to a new kind of tension
All across the alien nation
Everything isn't meant to be okay
Television dreams of tomorrow
We're not the ones who're meant to follow
For that's enough to argue!'"
The song ended.
"SINGER TWO, AWESOME JOB!" The machine read.
I stood up there smirking evilly, looking to see what America's reaction would be.
"This. Is. F**king. WAR!" America yelled.
"Good job Inferni!" Caribbean yelled. "I think you beat Iggy!"
"That was just round one, though," England said with a smirk. "My turn again."
England walked up to the karaoke machine and looked through the songs. After a while, a song title came up on the screen. "London Calling".
"Hey, I love that song!" I yelled. The Clash was one of my personal favorite bands.
"C**p, we're screwed!" Caribbean yelled.
"Go Iggy!" America yelled.
England began singing.
"'London calling to the far away towns
Now war is declared, and battle come down
London calling, to the Underworld
Come out of the cupboard, you boys and girls
London calling, now don't look to us
Phony Beatlemania has bitten the dust
London calling, see we ain't got no swing
Except for the ring, of that truncheon thing
The ice age is coming, the sun's zooming in
Meltdown expected, the wheat is growing thin
Engines stop running, but I have no fear
Cause London is drowning and I,
Live by the river!
London calling, to the imitation zone
Forget it brother, you can go it alone!
London calling, to the zombies of death
Quit holdin out, and try another breath
London calling, and I don't wanna shout
But while we were talking, I saw you nodding out
London calling, see we ain't got no high
Except for that one, with the yellowy eyes
The ice age is coming, the sun's zooming in
Engines stop runnin, the wheat is growing thin
A nuclear error, but I have no fear
Cause London is drownin and I
I live by the river!' "
There was a short instrumental break. England was crazy good, and America looked happy. Was I worried now? Do you know me at all?
"'The ice age is coming, the sun's zooming in
Engines stop running, the wheat is growing thin
A nuclear error, but I have no fear
Cause London is drownin and I,
I live by the river
Now get this!
London Calling, yes I was there too
And you know what they said?
Well some of it was true!
London Calling, at the top of the dial
And after all this, won't you give me a smile?
London Calling
I never felt so much alike, alike alike…..'"
Yes, that was good. Real good. The machine seemed to think so to.
"PLAYER TWO IS ON A FREAKING ROLL!"
"Top that, non-hero," America said to Caribbean.
"You're the non-hero, idiot," Caribbean said.
"Nope, cause I AM the hero! Iggy thinks so too! Right Iggy?"
"Whatever you bloody git."
"Well, Inferni says that I'M the hero," Caribbean said. She turned around to look at me. "Right?"
"You know what? Whichever side wins gets the title of hero, okay?" I said.
"Fine," the two of them responded.
"Good. Now shut up so that I can pick a song?" They promptly shut up.
Looking….. Hey, cool I found one. And it was a slight downer. Bonus!
"Found one," I said. The title "The Good Left Undone" came up.
"What?" America and England said at the same time.
"America, you should know this one," I said. "It's your band, anyway."
"Rise Against?"
"Bingo."
"This should be interesting," England said. I ignored him and started singing.
"'In fields where nothing grew but weeds
I found a flower at my feet
Bending there in my direction
I wrapped a hand around its stem
And pulled until the roots gave in
Finding out what I've been missing!
Now I know….
I tell myself, I tell myself it's wrong!
There's a point we pass from which we can't return!
I felt the cold rain of the coming storm
All because of you, I haven't slept in so long
And when I do I dream, of drowning in the ocean
Longing for the shore, where I can lay my head down
I'll follow your voice, all you have to do is shout it out!' "
In all honesty, I have never sung this song with so much raw emotion in my voice. America looked surprised at how well I could sing. I guess he didn't notice the first time cause of the song.
" 'Inside my hands these petals browned
Dried up, falling to the ground
But it was already too late now,
I pushed my fingers through the earth
Returned this flower to the dirt
So it could live I walked away now!
Now I know…..
Not a day goes by that I don't feel this burn
There's a point we pass from which we can't return
I felt the cold rain of the coming storm
All because of you, I haven't slept in so long
And when I do I dream, of drowning in the ocean
Longing for the shore, where I could lay my head down
I'll follow your voice, all you have to do is shout it out!' "
All because of you!
All because of you!
All because of you, I haven't slept in so long
And when I do I dream, of drowning in the ocean
Longing for the shore, where I can lay my head down
Inside these arms of yours
All because of you, I believe in angels
Not the kind with wings, no not the kind with halos
The kind that bring you home, when home becomes a strange place
I'll follow your voice, all you have to do is shout it out!' "
"PLAYER 2, YOU F**KING ROCK!" the machine read.
"Where the bloody hell did you learn to sing like that?" England said.
"Were you even paying attention when she sang her first song?" Caribbean asked.
"No," England and America said at the same time.
"Bakas."
"You are spending WAY too much time with Japan," I commented.
"Have you been corrupting my hommie?" America asked at hearing that.
"And you are spending way too much time with Russia," Caribbean said.
"Shut up."
"Anyway, time for my last song," England said. He walked over to the karaoke machine and looked at the songs.
"Who's winning?" I asked Caribbean.
"I think England still is," she said. "But you are really close." S**t.
"I have my last song," England said. "Guns of Brixton" was the song title that came up.
"Okay, I love this song too," I said.
"Come on Iggy! Make this last song count!" America yelled.
The music started, and England began singing.
"'When they kick out your front door
How you gonna come?
With your hands on your head
Or on the trigger of your gun
When the law break in
How you gonna go?
Shot down on the pavement
Or waiting in death row
You can crush us
You can bruise us
But you'll have to answer to
Oh, the Guns of Brixton
The money feels good
And your life you like it well
But surely your time will come
As in heaven, as in hell
You see, he feels like Ivan
Born under the Brixton sun
His game is called survivin'
At the end of the harder they come
You know it means no mercy
They caught him with a gun
No need for the Black Maria
Goodbye to the Brixton sun
You can crush us
You can bruise us
But you'll have to answer to
Oh-the guns of Brixton
When they kick out your front door
How you gonna come?
With your hands on your head
Or on the trigger of your gun
You can crush us
You can bruise us
And even shoot us
But oh- the guns of Brixton
Shot down on the pavement
Waiting in death row
His game was survivin'
As in heaven as in hell
You can crush us
You can bruise us
But you'll have to answer to
Oh, the guns of Brixton
Oh, the guns of Brixton
Oh, the guns of Brixton
Oh, the guns of Brixton
Oh, the guns of Brixton'"
"PLAYER 1 IS BEYOND PRUSSIA AWESOME!"
†Somewhere†
"West! I feel a disturbance in the world of awesome! Someone has just been declared awesomer than me!" a certain beer-loving albino complained. "And I know Inferni has something to do with it!"
"Shut up bruder."
†Back at America's House†
"Top THAT Inferni!" America yelled.
"HOLY S**T WE ARE F**KING SCREWED!" Caribbean yelled. "I CAN'T GIVE UP MY PINA COLADAS!"
"This isn't over yet," I mumbled, walking over to the karaoke machine. I flipped though the songs.
Come on! I know I saw it here….
"Found it," I said. The other three nations looked at the screen, curious as to what the last song would be.
"'It's Not a Fashion Statement, It's a Deathwish'," England read. "What kind of bloody song IS that?"
America groaned. "Oh c**p, I know that band. My Chemical Romance, right?" I nodded.
"YES! WE ARE GOING TO F**ING WIN THIS!"
I was really good at all songs MCR. NO ONE could beat me when I had MCR. I started singing.
"'For what you did to me
And what I'll do to you
You get what everyone else gets
You get a lifetime!
Let's go!
Do you remember that day when we met
You told me this gets harder
Well it did!
Been holding on forever
Promise me that when I'm gone
You'll kill my enemies
The damage you've inflicted
Temporary wounds
I'm coming back from the dead!
And I'll take you home with me
I'm taking back the life you stole
We never got that far
This helps me to think all through the night
Bright lights that won't kill me now
Won't tell me how
Just you and I, your starless eyes remain
Hip hip hooray for me, you talk to me
But would you kill me in my sleep?
Lay still like the dead!
From the razor to the rosary
We could lose ourselves
And paint these walls in pitchfork red
I will avenge my ghost
With every breath I take!
I'm coming back from the dead
And I'll take you home with me
I'm taking back the life you stole
This hole you put me in
Wasn't deep enough
And I'm coming out right now
You're running out of places
To hide from me
When you go
Just know that I will remember you
If livin was the hardest part
We'll then one day, be together!
But in the end we'll fall apart
Just like the leaves change in colors
And then I will be with you
I will be there one last time now!
When you go
Just know that I will remember you
I lost my fear of falling
I will be with you
I will be with you!'"
The others stared at me, England and America looking worried. England broke the silence.
"Bloody hell! I had no idea that you could pull of sounding like that!"
"MY HAMBURGERS!"
"I think we won! Hallelujah!"
"Let me see….." I looked at the screen.
"HOLY S**T PLAYER 2, YOU DESTROYED PRUSSIA AWESOME! YOU F**KING WIN!"
†meanwhile†
"WEST! There it is again! My awesomeness has been questioned! BY F**KING INFERNI! WHAT THE F**K IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?"
"SHUT UP BRUDER!"
†back at America's†
England and America deadpanned. Then Caribbean started yelling.
"F**K YEAH AMERICA! I'M THE HERO AND YOU'RE NOT! SO NOW GO DIE IN A HOLE!"
America started crying dramatically. "MY HAMBURGERS! WHY?"
"BLOODY HELL! I CAN'T BE NICE TO THAT BLOODY WANKER WITHOUT DRINKING FOR A MONTH!"
"TAKE THAT KING OF PUNK!" I yelled. "NO ONE CAN DEFEAT THE MIGHTY UNDERWORLD! MWUAHAHAHAHAHA!"
†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††
