"Will?"

Silence.

"Will? Are you awake?"

A sigh. "Yes, Horace. I'm awake. I have no bloody choice, do I?"

"Technically, you do."

"Oh, shut up."

"You could be a bit more cheerful. . . I mean it's not that bad. . ."

"Not bad, huh? Well, let's review our time so far, shall we? We've been out for weeks on a simple escort, when we're attacked by those damn bandits, captured, put in their bloody dungeon, chained to a wall, without a single splinter for weaponry, or a cloth on our backs, and you're telling me it's not that bad!"

"Alright, I got it! There's no need to shout, Will. I mean, it could be worse. . ."

"Really? What could possibly be worse that this?"

"Well, they could be torturing us, or we could be dead! Or Halt could be here to reprimand us for this whole bloody mess. . ."

A moment's silence.

"Alright. Fine, you got me. The last part actually convinced me."

"Really? I thought at least the part where we could be dead, didn't sit right with you. It definitely doesn't for me. . ."

"Have you ever been the topic of Halt's rants?"

"Well, no. At least not that I remember at the moment."

"Exactly. I mean, he was annoyed just because I played my old mandola during my apprenticeship. . . Gave me a whole speech about the 'damned' thing. Said it was an infernal instrument, and the most annoying, most repulsive thing he'd ever heard. . ."

"But. . . I thought he bought it for you."

"Exactly my point! A good reason why he's not here at the moment."

"But. . . wouldn't he get us out of here?" ". . ."

"Will? Will! Are you going to answer me?"

"You know, I find myself annoyed by your presence. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to go back to sleep now. . ."

"You weren't even asleep before! You didn't even have your eyes closed!"

"Ah, Horace! That's one thing I learned from Halt. . . or maybe Gilan. Well, anyway, they taught me to sleep with my eyes open. . ."

". . . Will. . ."

"Hmm?"

"That is a damn lie, and you well know it!"

"I'm offended Horace! I can't believe you would think I would even lie about something like that!"

"Will, first of all, it's impossible. Second of all, it's impossible. And, third of all, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!"

"Oh, hardly Horace. It's actually quite simple. See, you just keep your eyes open for awhile. . ."

"Will! I don't need to know! Besides, it's pitch black in here! I can't even see my bloody hand!"

"Oh. . . Was that why you were clutching onto my arm like a woman giving birth?"

"I was not! I swear Will, when we get out of here. . ."

"If we get out of here. Remember, we're still chained up."

"Oh, yes. Thank you O Wise One. I would have never figured that due to the fact that my wrists are losing feeling because of these death-grip chains."

"No trouble. Just trying to keep the mood light."

"You know, when we do get out of here, I'm going to take a lesson from Halt, and throw you into a bloody moat. . ."

"If you can catch me, Horace. Remember, back at the Ward?"

"Ah, yes. The good ol' days. . ."

"The good days? I seem to remember a LOT of fights, and bloody noses in the good ol' days. . ."

"Hmm. . . Yes. Most caused by me."

"Ah, yes. Who do you think won most of those fights, do you reckon. . .?"

"Will, it's fairly obvious, seeing who's the taller one here."

"Don't you mean broader?"

"Very funny. You're a cheeky little Ranger, aren't you?"

"Cheeky, yes. A Ranger, yes. Little, no."

"I don't ever recall you being taller than Tug. . . Maybe by a few inches."

"If we weren't chained up right now, in a dark, dank cell, I would be giving you one of Halt's famous death glares."

"Ah yes. . . Those always make you feel uneasy. I remember it well. . ."

A snort. "You should. At least you weren't his apprentice."

"Give him some credit, Will! You wouldn't be who you are today without him."

"I know, Horace. Believe me, I have nothing against Halt. I've looked up to him for years. . . even though he's so bloody grumpy. I remember when I was 15, I wondered if he had ever smiled. . . But, he does apparently. It's quite better than feeling his glares. . ."

"I seem to recall you'd gotten those quite a lot."

"Quite is a bit of an understatement."

"Oh, you know he loves you. . ."

"Oh, please Horace. . . Don't make me blush."

"Alright, alright. Well, back to our. . . predicament. How do you propose we get out of here?"

"No idea."

Silence.

"No idea? You've been Halt's apprentice for, what, five years? You know, Halt? The most famous Ranger in all of Araluen? The man who's known to be eight feet tall, and kills bears with his bare hands, Halt? Ring any bells for you, Will?"

"Yes, Horace. I know who you're talking about!"

"Well, he's taught you! Think like Halt. What would he do?"

"Well. . ."

"Oh good! You're thinking!"

"First of all, he wouldn't get himself stuck in this mess in the first place!"

A sigh. "You were so close. . ."

"You're the one to talk. . . you're the one who got us into this mess in the first place!"

"What? I did not!"

"Yes, if I recall, we were in perfect hiding, and they had managed to cross paths. They were about to leave, when someone just had to sneeze!"

"I covered it up! Besides, it wasn't that loud. . ."

"Ha! Don't make me laugh. You might as well have asked some idiot to blow a trumpet! Or ask an elephant. . ."

"Would you quit with the elephant! Ever since I sneezed under that cart, in Norgate. . ."

"It sounded just like one, Horace."

"It did not! You don't even know what a bloody elephant sounds like!"

"I don't need to. I have one with me. You're simply in denial."

"Once again, taking one of Halt's lessons of throwing you into a moat sounds like heaven right now. . ."

"That is, if we get out of here. . ."

". . ."

"Oh, finally! Silence!"

"Yes. . . I'll throw you into a moat. Ah, best action I will ever do in my life. . ."

"Shut up. . .


Sooo... What do you think? I'm hoping this is even considered humor... Well, anyway thank you so much for reading, and I hope I made you at least smile. :) Btw, I LOVE Halt! I love to tease him in any story that I create. He's just so... I don't know... teaseable? I don't even think that's a word... Oh well! Enough of my rambling! Please read an review, and tell me if I should continue with this! Thank you once again!

- SilkBourne