My first Twilight series fanfiction. Ive been playing with the thought of what would have happened if she was turned then, so i deciced to write it and find out. To tell you the truth, i dont really know where this story is heading, so sugestions are more then welcome.
Disclaimer: Everything pretty much belongs to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer.
The meadow part closly follows that of the book because i didnt want it too out there. hehe
Enjoy
Full Moon
Chapter 1: The Meadow
Just when I thought I was lost I stepped through a low arch made by two vine maples, and there, just like I remembered, was the meadow.
It was the same place, of that I was instantly sure. I still couldn't believe how symmetrical it was. It was as perfectly rounded as if someone had intentionally created it by tearing out the trees, but leaving no evidence of the violence in the waving grass.
Somewhere to my right I heard the quiet bubble of the stream and all around I heard the squawks and calls of the local birds.
The place wasn't nearly so stunning without the sunlight, but it was still very beautiful and serene, like a painting. There weren't any wildflowers – for it was the wrong season – and the tall grass swayed in the light breeze reminding me of ripples across a lake.
It was the same place…but it didn't hold what I had been searching for.
The disappointment was nearly as instantaneous as the recognition. My knees gave in and I sank down right where I was, at the edge of the clearing, gasping for the breath that was hard coming.
What was the point of going any further? Nothing lingered here. Nothing more than the painful memories I could have called back at any given time. If I wanted to endure the pain – the pain that now held me frozen in place, kneeing on the forest floor. There was nothing special about this place without him here to give it meaning.
I wasn't sure what I was expecting to find here. This place was empty of everything, just like everywhere else. Just like my nightmares.
I shuddered and my head swirled dizzily.
At least I came alone. I suddenly felt thankful as I realized that. If I had discovered the meadow with Jake…well, there was no way he wouldn't have noticed the abyss I was falling into. How could I have explained the way I curled up in a ball on the mossy floor and held my arms over my chest to keep the empty hole from tearing me apart? It was both better and easier that I didn't have an audience.
Also I would have had to explain why I was in such a hurry to leave. Jacob would have assumed, that after all the trouble we went through to locate the stupid place, I would have wanted to stay for more than a few hours.
But I wanted to leave and I wanted to leave now.
Already I was trying to find the strength in my legs to stand, forcing myself really, to stay up. There was too much pain, and I would crawl if need be.
How lucky that I was alone!
Alone.
I repeated with grim satisfaction as I wrenched myself to my feet despite the pain. It was at precisely that moment that a figure stepped out from the cover of the trees, some thirty passes north of where I stood.
A confusing array of emotions shot through me in a second. The first being surprise; I was far from any trail and I hadn't expected company. Then, as my eyes zeroed in on the person, a rush of hope slammed into me at seeing the utter stillness and the pallid skin of the motionless figure. I viciously suppressed it, fighting the equally harsh lash of pain as my eyes saw the face beneath the black hair. It wasn't the face I wanted to see. Next was fear: this was not the face I grieved for, but it was close enough for me to know that this person was no stray hiker. And finally, at the end, recognition.
"Laurent!" I cried in surprised pleasure.
It was a very irrational response. I probably should have stopped in fear.
Yes, fear would have made much more sense, but all I felt was an overwhelming satisfaction. Here was the connection I sought. The proof that he still existed, somewhere in the same world I did.
He looked just the same; I guess it was so very silly, so very human of me, to expect him to look different. But there was something…I couldn't quite put my figure on it. Something was off.
"Bella?" He asked, looking astonished.
"You remember me." I smiled. I knew that I shouldn't be so happy that a vampire remembered my name.
He grinned, exposing teeth. "I didn't expect to see you around here." He walked comfortably towards me, his expression confused.
"Isn't it the other way around? I do live here. I thought you went to Alaska to live with Tanya's family."
He stopped about ten passes away.
"Your right," he agreed with a nod. "I did go to Alaska. Still…When I found the Cullen place empty I thought they'd move on." I could tell he was curious. His head was cocked to the side and his mouth was turned down in a thoughtful frown.
It took me a second to compose myself. I had to swallow a lump that had formed in my throat. "They did move on," I choked out.
"Hmm, interesting," he murmured to himself. "I'm surprised they left you here. Weren't you kind of a pet of theirs?"
At the precise moment, I realized why he looked the same – too much the same. After I was told he went to live with Tanya's family I pictured him with the same golden eyes that…all good vampires had. I couldn't even force my mind to say the name.
Involuntarily I took a step back, and his dark red eyes followed the movement.
"Do they visit often?" He asked casually, his voice still polite, but his stance shifted towards me slightly.
"Lie," a beautiful voice whispered in my head.
His voice startled me, but I listened to it.
"Now and again." I tried to make my voice light, pleasant, like Laurent's.
"Hmm," he said again. "Their house smelled like it had been vacant for a while…"
I paled slightly. "Hmm," was all I could manage without giving myself away.
"Well the next time they visit I will have to tell them you stopped by, the will be disappointed they missed you."
He hmmed again and looked around the clearing.
It suddenly occurred to me. Why was Laurent here?
"So how are things working out in Denali? Carlisle said you were staying with Tanya?" My voice sounded too high, even to me.
The question made him pause. "I like Tanya very much, and her sister Irina even more," he mused. "The restrictions are difficult…," he smiled at me. "I cheat sometimes."
I couldn't swallow and I was having an even harder time breathing.
"So what brought you all the way back here?" I tried to keep my voice even. I was scared now.
"Don't move," the voice in my head warned me. I almost nodded in agreement.
"Well, I actually came here as a favor for Victoria." He took another step towards me and made a face. "She won't be happy about this."
Now the voice snarled, and I almost jumped.
"'Bout what?" I said eagerly, wanting him to continue talking.
He was glaring into the trees, away from me. I took this opportunity and took a step back. His head snapped to face me again and he smiled – the expression made him look like a black-haired angel.
"About me killing you," he answered in a purr.
I took another staggering step back. The loud growling in my head made it hard to hear.
I stared at him in horror.
He sniffed at the air that swirled around me in his direction. "Mouthwatering," he muttered, inhaling deeply.
I tensed for the spring, cringing as Edward's furious roar echoed distantly in the back of my head, no longer crystal clear. It must be from the fright I was feeling.
His name burst through the protective walls I had placed around it. Edward, Edward, Edward. I was going to die now, so it shouldn't matter if I thought his name. I love you.
"It won't hurt at all," he said, trying to comfort me. Then he disappeared. Quick as a flash he was at my side and he buried his teeth right above my collarbone.
I screamed. It hurt and it hurt badly. It felt like my body was draining away. Well, I guess that really was what was happening. Laurent was draining my blood, my life-force from my body. I was going to die soon.
But then he stopped, and pulled away, whipping his head to the side and sniffed. Then he threw me into the cover of the trees and turned around. Slowly backing away from where he stood. His eyes stayed rooted to a spot in the forest about fifty passes to my left. I scanned the side of the clearing, through blurry eyes, trying to spot what it was he saw. There was nothing
That's when I saw it, and my eyes widened in surprise. A huge black shape oozed out of the cover of the trees and stalked toward the vampire. It was enormous – as big as a horse, but thicker, much more muscular. I couldn't see much else, my vision was starting to blur.
I thought it was the giant bear, but suddenly it sprang forward and behind it were four others, just like it. As it got closer to Laurent, I realized it wasn't a bear, but a wolf. A giant wolf.
Black spots were starting to appear in my sight, but I saw Laurent turn and run in the opposite direction. At this the monstrous wolves sprinted forward and chased after him into the woods. The sounds of their snarling echoed even after they were out of sight.
I tried to get up. I needed to get as far away from here as possible incase either Laurent or the wolves came back for me. I couldn't push myself up. I just lay there, and then everything went black.
Suddenly I was ripped out of the darkness by pain. A pain so intense it overshadowed everything else. My neck was scalding. It felt like someone was burning me.
I screamed, but no one was nearby to hear it. It hurt, it hurt so badly. With grim humor I realized this is how it would feel to combust.
I screamed and the tears rolled down my face. I didn't even notice when it got dark, for the burning never stopped. The cold night air didn't even help.
The next thing I knew it was sunny, but there was still pain. I wreathed on the forest floor, getting my clothes dirty. The dried blood on my shirt stunk, but I barely noticed those things.
It turned dark again, then light once more. This is never going to stop. I screamed again. There was no point in screaming, but each time I did it without thinking.
The pain was starting to fade; a dull throbbing took its place. I was finally able to open my eyes and a bright light seeping through the openings in the branches made me close them again.
My body didn't hurt anymore, it was weird. I felt…almost…perfect. The throbbing left and all that stayed was a sense of emptiness.
I felt somehow different. My stomach didn't hurt, but I'm sure I hadn't eaten in a few days.
I stood up, almost expecting my legs to cramp up from being in the same position forever, but they didn't. It was strange, but I knew what I had become.
Vampire.
Saying the name no longer sent a shiver down my spine like it did when I was human. It's funny how badly I wanted to become one when I was with Edward, to be with him forever, but he was determined to keep my heart beating. Then he left, and I got turned into one anyways. Sort of ironic.
I walked in between the two vine maple arches again and gazed out into the meadow. It was sunny and the light made the grass a shade brighter. There wasn't a single cloud in the sky, out of the norm for Forks.
It hit me again how ironic this whole situation was. A couple of days before, I came and stood in this exact spot, hoping to find some trace of him here. Instead I found a different vampire, who turned me.
I laughed, a light sound, and I was surprised to hear how musical it was, even too me. No-where near as jingly as Alice's voice, but it was still musical. It was different. I wonder how many other things are different.
I laughed again and strode out into the meadow. It was strange how altered everything looked. The stream sounded as if I was standing in it, and the low chirps of the birds sounded closer than ever. I could see every little detail, even in the woods on the other side of the meadow.
There on a tree, out of the reach of the sunlight, was a wood pecker, busily drumming its beak into the bark of a tree. Soaring high overhead was a bald eagle. Somewhere too my right I heard the grumble of a bear.
A dandelion got caught in the breeze and blew towards me. I reached up to grab it and inhaled sharply, startled. My hand was glittering, just like he had the first time I came here. It looked like my arm was made up of thousands of tiny diamonds. It glittered and sparkled in the light. It was amazing and so beautiful.
It was a whole new world for me. Everything looked magical and surreal.
That's when it hit me, the thirst.
It wasn't the same as when I was human. It was nothing like my throat being parched, or wanting a drink of water. It went deeper than that. The core of my very being was calling out. Demanding I quench the hunger. That was more like it. It was like I was hungry, starving even, not thirsty.
Why do they call it thirst then? I chuckled, this time it sounded low and menacing. I preferred the light, bell-like sound.
I turned to my right and started slowly walking. I didn't trip over anything; it was almost like I was gliding. Even with my advanced hearing I didn't detect any footfalls. I was completely silent.
I could still hear the grumbling of the bear that was somewhere nearby. I was very thirsty and I was going to kill it.
Remembering something, I laughed. Emmett's favorite was bear's. I guess I will find out why. I laughed again.
Then I remembered something else. Jasper had said that newborns are volatile, wild, and almost impossible to control. He also said that they are slaves to their instincts, which meant they only wanted human blood.
So far I wasn't like that at all. I could think clearly and I wasn't rushing off to massacre the town of Forks. I was just thirsty, and even that I could hold off if I had wanted too. But it was there, that feeling of want.
I started walking again, this time faster than before. Still I didn't fall, and I wasn't even looking at the ground. At this speed I would have already tripped a few times, when I was human that is.
Soon I was under the cover of trees and my skin stopped glittering. Not moments later I rounded a big tree and there, about thirty feet in front of me, was a cave. Outside of the cave mouth sat a big grizzly bear.
The bear saw me, got to his feet and growled a warning. I didn't care, because Jasper had also said that newborns where very, very strong.
Well, I guess there is only one way to find out. And with that I launched myself at the bear. I had covered thirty feet in a blink of an eye. The bear stood on its hind legs, towering over me, and brought its clawed paw down to cut me. The next second my hand was at its throat, suffocating it. I remembered how badly it hurt getting bitten, and I didn't want the poor bear to feel the same pain. Without thinking further, I snapped its neck effortlessly. Then I brought my mouth to its neck.
When I was finished I felt much better. Satisfied. The aching in my body turned to dull throbbing after I ate.
It was time to see how fast I could run.
I sprinted into the dark forest and I was flying.
The trees sped past me, and miraculously I didn't hit anything.
The icy wind blew in my face, but I didn't get any colder. In fact my body temperature didn't change at all. I didn't get warmer as I ran, or colder as the wind whipped around me.
Could I go faster? Or was this my limit? I don't remember who, but one of the Cullen's had said that Edward was the fastest. That made me wonder, was I faster than him now?
I willed my legs to speed up and the trees started to blur together. I jumped up onto a tree branch and leaped, landing on a branch a few trees from the starting point.
Now I really was flying. I would leap high and soar up over the tops of the trees. I could see for miles in every direction. The same green forest stretched as far as the eye could see.
It was electrifying. I knew I was grinning like a fool, yet I couldn't stop myself.
I was free. Free to go anywhere. I could even go searching for him if I wanted too. That sent a pang through me and I could feel the whole in my chest returning.
He didn't want me. He left because he stopped loving me. If I turned up at his doorstep like this it would make it even worse. He has probably already moved on.
That made me slow down, but I didn't have to curl up in a ball and hold my arms over my chest to keep myself together. I didn't need to gasp for air or will myself to sleep.
After he left, it felt like I had died. I went through the motions, but I really wasn't there. I went to school, ate, slept and did my homework, but it was an empty shell that did those things, not me. I was somewhere totally different. I was dead inside for months.
And now, I really am dead, but I'm the most alive I have been since he left.
Another irony.
When I was alive, I felt dead and now I'm dead, I feel alive.
I laughed out loud. It felt good to laugh. I hadn't laughed in so long. It was a relief, like something was releasing.
I laughed again.
I continued running, and then the trees thinned out and I was in a field. I stopped dead in my tracks. It was the same field, surrounded by big cedar trees, but it looked different. Tall ferns had infiltrated the meadow around the house. The lawn was flooded with waist-high green grass. And the house. It was there, but it looked different. Not on the outside. It was still the same faded white color, still tall, rectangular and well proportioned. And it still looked timeless. But the emptiness of it screamed at me from the black windows. It was creepy, foreboding sort of. Before it was beautiful, and now it was just there….For the first time since I'd seen it, the house looked like a fitting place for vampires.
I waded through the tall grass and walked up the few steps onto the porch. A sense of déjà vu washed over me.
I stood in front of the door, debating on whether or not to go in. My mind knew that they were not there, yet my subconscious still hoped that when I opened the door they would be. I could picture it. The angle-like figures, the golden/topaz eyes and the pasty, marble like skin. Edward would be sitting on the stool, playing a beautiful piece on his piano. Alice and Jasper would be dancing across the floor to the music. Their graceful turns unbearably perfect. Rosalie and Emmett would be sitting on the couch watching the couple spin across the floor, and Carlisle and Esme would be standing off to the side smiling. Their faces – so beautiful it was almost painful – would turn to me as I walked in and their eyes would light up as their lips turned up in a dazzling smile.
Without thinking, I opened the door and walked in. All the furniture was in place, yet the emptiness stared back at me, taunting me. I don't know why I hoped they would be there, but still I had hoped. And that hope came crumbling down when I remembered they weren't coming back. They were gone forever.
I could feel myself spiraling downward. I don't know why I thought that I was better, that somehow becoming a vampire had made me immune to the pain. Clearly it was still there, just hidden, and now it was in plain sight.
Blindly I closed the door and walked to the left. I sat down on something without really seeing it. I could feel the whole in my chest rip open again and I raised my arms to cover my chest. Instead of my hands touching my body, they smacked into something hard. My eyes snapped open and after the instant recognition, I wished they had stayed closed. Without realizing it, I had sat down on the bench in front of the grand piano.
His grand piano.
Memories came unbidden then, memories that I had tried to forget because they caused too much pain flooded in my mind's eye, like the damn I had built around them broke. They flashed, with ever increasing tempo, through my head. I could see them clearly, as if it were happening all over again.
There Edward sat, hands flowing across the ivory keys, music so complex and beautiful it hardly seemed possible that one set of hands created it, rang through the walls. It was my lullaby.
The instant that memory came it was gone, swept away in the sea of memories fighting to be seen.
Billy, in his wheelchair, sitting in front of me with a frown on his face, warning me to stay away from the Cullen's. "What I meant to say was, don't do what you're doing."
Then that memory was gone, replaced by another.
James casually circling around me, his face open and friendly. Until he slumped forward, into a crouch I recognized, his pleasant smile widened until it was contortion of exposed, glistening teeth. His eyes triumphant, as he leaped forward.
I shuddered as that unwanted memory came and went.
Edward leaning against a tree in the forest, staring at me with an unreadable expression on his face. His eyes were hard, like the liquid gold had frozen over. "Bella, I don't want you to come with me."
Before I could cry out, that memory faded and in its place was another one, the last one of my human memories.
There Laurent stood, facing me, with a wide smile and gleaming red eyes. I tensed for the spring, cringing as Edward's furious roar echoed distantly in the back of my head, no longer crystal clear. It won't hurt at all," he said, trying to comfort me. Then he disappeared. Quick as a flash he was at my side and he buried his teeth right above my collarbone.
I sat on the stool, gasping for air. Somehow, the whole in my chest didn't hurt as much anymore. Maybe remembering had helped somehow.
I didn't want to be crippled by this stupid pain all my immortal life. When I was the human I tried to keep from remembering, and that didn't make it any better. So maybe if I remember everything it will help.
"I'll do anything to make the pain stop," I said out loud to the empty house. My velvety voice echoed around the rooms and sent a chill down my spine.
That is what I'm going to do, I am going to remember everything and hopefully it will help. I'm never going to stop loving him, but I want to get over the pain.
With that I stood up and was met by a crinkling noise. Looking down I realized it was my shirt. Dried blood covered most of it, and the rest was muddy and wet. My pants had grass stains and mud spots and my arms and hands were a mess. I didn't even want to know how my face and hair looked. I was a mess and I needed to be clean before I could do what needed to be done.
Everything else seems to be here, so maybe Alice still has those clothes she got me a while back that I refused.
I walked up the stairs and through that hallway. The paintings on the walls stared down at me, as if mocking me. The silence was deafening and surprisingly it wasn't driving me insane. I'm probably already insane. I chuckled and the noise bounced off the empty walls.
Thankfully I remembered what room Alice's was, and when I reached it I halted at the door. What if she took everything? What would I do if the room was empty? There was only one way to find out. I grasped the doorknob and took an unneeded shuddering breath and pushed open the door and gasped.
It was huge.
This had to be the biggest room ever I had ever seen!
One of the walls was just like in his room, one big window. On the opposite wall was a big bed – which struck me as odd because vampires didn't sleep – with purple silk sheets and a big black comforter with purple polka dots. Beside the bed was a nightstand with a clock and a pretty lamp that had beads hanging off the purple lampshade. On another wall was a big mahogany dressing table. Those big vanity ones that you see in movies; it even had a plush stool. On either side of the dressing table there were doors. The right one had a sigh that said BATHROOM and the left one had a sign that said DRESSING ROOM.
Dressing room?
I barley even had a closet let alone a dressing room. I walked to the door and opened it. The room inside was about as big as my bedroom and closet put together. One wall had a bunch of cubby holes, probably for shoes or something, and the other walls had poles from one end to another. At first glance it appeared to be empty. It's not like I thought Alice would leave her clothes behind, but in the far left corner there were a couple hangers with some clothes on them. I waltzed up to em and, just like I thought, they were the clothes Alice bought me that I didn't take.
I grabbed a pretty blue shirt and some black jeans and walked out of the closet, past the vanity, and into the door labeled bathroom.
Oh my god.
It was almost the same size as the dressing room. There was a big vanity mirror bordered with light bulbs above a white tiled sink. The bathtub was so big it could have been a Jacuzzi and the toilet seat had a fuzzy purple cover on it. Opposite the sink was a row of cabinets' right next to a shower enclosed by glass doors.
It reminded me of those bathrooms that princesses have. Right then and there I decided that this was where I was going to live. I couldn't stay with Charlie – I didn't want to accidentally eat him.
I chuckled. And I didn't have any money to rent somewhere else. I would get my money and go shopping. I needed some clothes and the simple necessities like shampoo, conditioner, soap and a toothbrush and maybe some other things. It helped that I didn't have to eat, more money for other things.
Well, I will figure out all that stuff later.
I got undressed and threw my nasty clothes into a pile in the corner and then I turned on the bath to hot. It didn't even take a few seconds to heat up and soon I could see steam rising from the water.
Slowly I lowered myself in and relaxed.
I don't know how long I was in there for, but when I got out the water was cold, my skin was all prune, and the window was black. I dried off with a towel I found in one of the cabinets and dragged myself to the bed where I laid down and remembered I couldn't sleep anymore.
With a sign I rolled onto my side, closed my eyes and just remembered everything.
Thanks so much for reading and if you would review and leave ideas it would be wonderful. Inspire me to update sooner :D
blackwidow
