I got the idea from Centauri Cruxis Angel, who made an Inuyasha version of this. Well, each chapter is a different Star Wars characters' journal. It's way better than it sounds.
I don't own Star Wars.
Boba Fett's Journal
Entry 1Dad told me to keep a journal, so that I could record 'memorable events.' Memorable events… Yeah, right! Do I see him keeping a journal? NNNnnnnnnoooooo, I think not! I bet he'll read all I write to find out what I do when he's away!
Entry 2I played the Macarena music over the intercom system. All the clones began to dance! Then I played the Cha-Cha Slide. Boy, A-8723 sure can do the Carlie Brown!
Entry 3I never leave our room. Well, except for when I have to go to school or when I want cause trouble.
Entry 4Can't….stop….watching….I Love Lucy marathon!
Entry 5Finally, the marathon is over. I'm never watching TV again!
Entry 6Ooh! Spongebob is on!
Entry 7
Some Jedi called Obi-Wan came to the base. He looks like the Tooth Fairy…
Entry 8
Ate a lot of lunch. Hey, I was hungry!
Entry 9
Accidentally threw-up on Dad.
Entry 10Dad told me to pack my things. Ooh, are we going on a road trip to Disney Land? I love Mickey!
Entry 11
Wait a second… Did that come out right?
Entry 12
Went out for a sandwich and got lost in a crowd of Dad's clones. I asked which was my real Dad, but they had a big fight, killing each other, and saying stuff like, "No, I'm the real Jango Fett!"
Entry 13
Got bored watching the clones kill each other. I then went back to our part of the base.
Entry 14
Stupid Tooth Fairy followed us to the ship. Why isn't he letting us go to Disney Land?
Entry 15
Tooth Fairy used lightsaber to chop off Dad's jet pack. Crap! Now how am I supposed to get around? What? Will I have to ride one of those flying dragon thingies?
Entry 16
Tried to ride dragon thingies. Didn't work. It ate my sandwich!
Entry 17
Escaped from Tooth Fairy.
Entry 18
Tooth Fairy followed us. Dad shot at 'em allot and then drove through an asteroid field, in hopes of losing him. I hope the sissy dies…
Entry 19
Stupid Tooth Fairy…
Entry 20
Ha ha! Stupid Tooth Fairy died! Now how are you gonna steal my teeth, huh?
Entry 21
Finally got to 'Disney Land.' Yeah, right! Dad took me to the droid army base! It looks like the Bat Cave in here…
Entry 22
Count Dooku looks like an evil Santa…
Entry 23
You know what? I'm gonna ask Santa for a present!
Entry 24
Santa had a weird expression on his face. All he did was pat my head and walk me out of the room…
Entry 25
Santa told Dad what I did! He took me to a room full of dirty dishes, and then told me to clean them. The dishes are shiny!
Entry 26
Found an eyeball on a plate.
Entry 27
I wonder…
Entry 28
Ewww! Aw! Eck! Note to self, never eat eyeballs.
Entry 29
The dishes are shinier now!
Entry 30
Found Tooth Fairy in broom closet. He was floating in mid-air. Turns out that Santa had him chained up or whatever and was gonna feed him to alien monsters! Go, Santa!
Entry 31
Dad and I got balcony seats with Santa. They where also going to sacrifice a Jedi padawan and Chancellor, too! Wait, it's Guy-Who-Gets-His-Hand-Chopped-Off-Later Jedi and Former-Queen-Who-Had-A-Crush-On-Dad-In-The-Sixth-Grade Chancellor! I should've known!
Entry 32
Tooth Fairy, Guy-Who-Gets-His-Hand-Chopped-Off-Later, and Former-Queen-Who-Had-A-Crush-On-Dad-In-The-Sixth-Grade managed to get free…sort of…
Entry 33
Kitty-Rat gave Former-Queen-Who-Had-A-Crush-On-Dad-In-The-Sixth-Grade a scratch on the back. Now it's her turn!
Entry 34
It was supposed to be funny…
Entry 35
What the-? There are Jedis everywhere1 How could this possibly get any worse?
Entry 36
Oh my god! The Burger King is sitting right next to me!
Entry 37
Dad went out to help kill the Jedi. The rhino-like one tried to attack him. Hey, I told him he shouldn't have worn red today!
Entry 38
Stupid Tooth Fairy decapitated Dad! But the good news is that candy came out from his body!
Entry 39
I wonder… Wait, I'm his clone, right?
Entry 40
I chopped off my finger and candy came out! Now I can get a really cool robot finger!
Entry 41
Santa battled two Jedi and chopped the padawan's arm off. But candy didn't come out…
(Twenty Years Later…)
Entry 42
Well, the Sith took over. And I'm not a boy anymore! Well, I guess not. It's beem twenty damn years…
Entry 43
The only Jedi left are Darth Sidious and that Darth Vader dude. Jabba had me get this Han-Solo guy and a Wookiee named Chewbacca. Stupid Wookiee peed on my foot…
Entry 44
Turns out that Solo owes Jabba money… I'd rather receive oranges instead on money…
Entry 45
Jabba said he'd pay me five oranges is I'd follow Solo and make sure he didn't try anything. So I wore my favorite costume… A cowboy suit plus cowboy hat!
Entry 46
The Burger King is still out for my blood. I swear, Burger King, I'll get you someday!
Entry 47
I got a cheeseburger in the mail. Oh, Burger King… I finally understand. This means war!
Entry 48
Oranges are nice…
Entry 49
Damn that Tooth Fairy! His presence still haunts me. I'm keeping my teeth, thank you very much!
Entry 50
Some spider-like thing jumped on a dancer's face. The couldn't remove it without killing her. But I was all for the plan of removing it.
Entry 51
I hate spiders…
Entry 52
The thing was found dead on the floor, a gun in its tentacles. Well, I couldn't blame him. I'd do the same thing after my face was stuck to somebody else's.
Entry 53
Okay, maybe I wouldn't. But hey, I'd consider it.
Entry 54
Security cameras show an alien bursting out of the dancer's chest. So we no have an alien loose. I wonder if it knows the Y. M. C. A.?
Entry 55
Apparently, the alien has killed many. You know what, I bet if you just gave it a hug, I'd be nicer! And I'm going to test that theory!
Entry 56
Ow. Didn't work. But at least I killed it.
The people around here often remind me of the Oompah-Loompahs…
Entry 57
Some guy challenged me to a duel.
Entry 58
I kicked his ass with a small-sized rock. Owned!
Entry 59
I'm starting to sound like Captain Kirk…
Entry 60
Maybe I need some guy with pointy ears like Spok, or whatever…
Entry 61
That would be cool…
Entry 62
Some wanna be bounty hunter showed up with Chewbacca. There is no way that shrimpy dude could've caught that Wookiee. He was much too small in stature, and those handcuffs weren't nearly strong enough to hold the Wookiee.
Entry 63
Did I mention that Darth Vader dude froze Han-Solo in carbonite? Dude, that's evil.
Entry 64
I say it's the first Han-flavored posickle.
Entry 65
Mmm, popsickle…
Entry 66
My spider senses told me that dude was heading for Solo. And my spider senses never lie.
Entry 67
Wait, I don't have spider senses…
Entry 68
The dude was actually a chick. Which was a princess. Which was a Rebel. And I don't care because I'm on neither side.
Entry 69
That chick was totally checking me out.
Entry 70
Some guy in a robe or cape or whatever came to get his friends back. Jabba tricked him and he fell into the Rancor's pit. The guy seems to be a Jedi, gut hey. I might be wrong.
Entry 71
The dude was smart enough to close the door on the Rancor. The Rancor trainers weeped for their loss of 'Fritz.'
Entry 72
Jabba decided to drop the troublesome three into the desert monster's mouth. The Jedi dude turned out to be a real Jedi and kicked some serious ass. Well, I could've done better. I let the chick loose. Hell, I don't care what happens to Jabba!
Entry 73
The chick choked Jabba to death with what was left of her chain.
Entry 74
Wait, why am I writing when I could kick ass in battle?
Entry 75
Tally, ho!
