Disclaimer: I no own le Kingdom Hearts-zo. I wouldn't be writing this if I did, I'd be swimming in a filthy pool of money!
Ok, I'm gonna pull off a Chandler Bing and start this off with: Oh dear god, why?! Yes. Why? I don't know why but here it is. Doesn't the world have enough of these alter-life KH fics?
OF COURSE NOT!
And that's why I'm here to put in my little dollar… er, penny. Or something less worthy.
And just to warn you before you go on, this was mostly inspired by the movie Mean Girls but I didn't want to title it Mean Guys. Pfft. No, it's not a copy of the movie, it has a different "plot". But if you've never seen it or dislike it, the fic would still work for you. Hopefully.
Alright now, I'm not exactly a regular writer and only have posted a few measly ficclets here BUT this is all in good fun. I have so much fun reading these type of KH fics, and of course I don't stand up to those greater ones, but I repeat myself, all in good fun.
Anyway, enough with the unnecessary rambling.
I plan to throw random slashes in here, yaoi, het, whatever. But this is, of course, Akuroku centric. And I must say, I wasn't a fan of Zemyx before reading Surgeon General's Warning by Dualism (which you should go read like… NOW. Screw this, it ain't worth it), but I sure as hell am now. :D So I'm gonna throw some of that in here. Furthermore, there's slight RikuSora, not so much at the start, but it'll become apparent. And then I'll prolly think of more… eh. KH characters, Disney characters, Square Enix characters, it's a classic.
Lastly, since you're still reading this, I have no beta reader so… expect a mass number of mistakes and whatnot. I am one hundred perfect sure there are some even though I went over through it a couple of times. Feel free to throw them in my face so I can correct them and… stuff.
By the way, I only rated this M to be safe, there will be cursing and such.
Ok why are you still reading this?
Go on to the real thing already!
"Dear, are you ready? Come down, darling, it's time!"
The blond teenager descended downstairs, backpack strap around only one side and with sloppy shoulders. Roxas smiled questionably at his mother's anxious expression upon seeing her eagerly waiting for him.
"What?" He said flatly, slightly pink-tainted lips barely moving at all.
His mother squealed.
"Your very first day of school!" The woman shrieked as she took a flashy picture of a very blinded Roxas. "This is so exciting, Roxy!"
At least not for me. He thought, rubbing his eyes.
"Mom, it's high school."
Hi, I'm Roxas. I've been home schooled all my life. My parents adore me and see me as a 10 year old boy... I am seventeen. I am also, according to Mom, too solitaire and shy. To be frank, I don't really know where she arranges this. I don't exactly go out much, hardly at all, since I find myself to be a very strong believer of 'Home Sweet Home'. My parents are both very smart and successful business people, so they've home schooled me themselves, usually taking turns or calling in a coworker when too occupied, and making it easier for me to not have to have contact with the outside world. I wouldn't consider myself anti-social either, I just obviously didn't have much of a need to interact with people. Now, friends? Lots of them. More accurately referred as pen pals, actually, but I don't mind that either.
Due to the fact that my parents are always too busy, sometimes I feel I'm not too close to them, or they to each other. Mind you, it sometimes makes me wonder how I was conceived. After all, ninety percent of the little time that Mom actually spends home she spends lying around resting or sleeping, while Dad maintains the house sparkly clean. (I've asked them myself why they still don't have a maid but they insist on being old-fashioned.) Sometimes I wonder; was my existence probably scheduled on their business agendas?Ech. Discarding the thought.Still, I love my dear parents. They give me my freedom and space, or at least the option of it. I guess the only flaw there would be that I've had a total of 3 babysitters since I was born. No, no. I do not mean separately. I have had the same three women as my loveable nannies since I was born to this day. Yes, that's right, I said that correctly. We pretty much consider them family by now since they're old friends of Mom, but you'll learn more about those three later. Also, the inferno I went through at attending high school. I mean before, it was like my summer vacation was never over!
Anyhow, the way I see it, it was actually a good experience. Life happens, y'know? And if I had the chance, I wouldn't change any of it because it altered my person so much and I appreciate every event that went on.
Shit, did I lead you on?
I can't even humor myself anymore. It was public hell
"I know sweetie, but somehow I feel like if it were your first day of kindergarten!" She patted his head. "Now, here's your lunch money and your--"
Roxas snorted as her big, red lips descended to his forehead.
"Kiss!" She popped one on.
"Aurora!" A handsome male voice came from outside, followed by the start of a rusty-sounding car engine. "Hurry up! We'll be late!"
"Hold onnn, Phillip!" She yelled back in a sing-song voice. "Now Roxy, we gave your darling nannies some time off to Honolulu because they've been so dear to us, so you'll have to make your way back home from school walking, is that alright with you?"
"Yeah, mom, that's fine." He sighed. The poor boy still couldn't believe he had agreed to attending school. At least he was happy with the fact that he had convinced his mother that he would be fine at a public school. Roxas couldn't imagine himself in one of Radiant Garden's Private School's uniforms. Such tacky, hooded coats they wore.
"Okay then... I don't think there's anything else so... Have fun, sweetie!" She forwarded Roxas out the door. "Hurry now, dad's waiting outside! Goodbyeee!" She sang on.
By the time Roxas was being dropped off, his father had already lectured the young blond on how fascinatingly important this new experience would be for him. He especially emphasized on the part where he would get the chance to socialize and become more aware of his surroundings.
Boy, if I had known then how true those words would later come to be I would have rolled out of the car, scratched a hole in the pavement with my bare nails, and lived underground for the rest of my life. It was certainly going to be a bumpy ride from current day and on.
"Son, this is going to be a positively magnificent experience for you!"
More like 'MAL-' Roxas thought. "Well, I guess I have no other choice than to try to make it that way..."
"That's the spirit, Roxas! I am so proud of you."
"Yeah, thanks Phil."
Phillip pulled over by the front of the school. "Alright, on your way now."
Roxas slowly opened the door, looking around the crowd.
"Oh and thanks for doing this Rox, you're making your mother very happy." He smiled and waved at him.
Roxas raised his hand and gave back a measly wave.
"At least someone is."
His father laughed heartedly. "Oh you kidder," He sped off, still waving and smiling handsomely as if he were on a parade show, probably much used to the motion.
The moment the unfortunate spiky-haired male stepped foot on campus he could feel his guts twist inside him and fall to the lowest part of his internal being.
"Oy..." He grunted. Something about the atmosphere was already annoying the hell out of him.
No, his conscience roared in his little head, I told dad at least I'd try to make something out of this.
What was the cause of Roxas's annoyance, one would ask? The people. No dammit, he was not an anti-social snot, they were just annoying with their running around and throwing footballs and--
"ARGH!"
"My bad, dude!" A deep, slow voice said from behind Roxas.The blond winced while rubbing the side of his face. He continued on walking tours the main hall's entrance. On his search for his first class, he'd been shoved a total of three times, glared at four times, and winked at six. Finally, he found his classroom, only to realize the door was still closed.
"Damn."
He checked his watch.
Not bad. He had to only stand there for one more minute and then the educating would commence. Suddenly his classroom's door behind him opened, he jumped aside. An androgynous kid slowly walked out, head held high, exposing numerous, shiny bull-like piercings on it's face. The kid had a short and awkward hair style, which Roxas had seen countless times since he arrived in the school, that covered one of it's eyes completely and half of it's face. The boy/girl also dragged it's huge black boots as he walked by the startled Roxas.
Five glares.
Roxas's eye twitched. And twice again just to get it out of himself while he was at it.
A second later the bell rang.
Ugh, son of a bitch! Why so loud!
The next second Roxas felt confusion in his head as to what continent he was currently located in. Spain? Nope. But why did it feel like it?
Before the boy even had the reflex to simply turn and walk inside his class, a rush of murderous toros, all attempting to enter through to the slim door at the same time, ambushed him. He felt instant suffocation.
A second later it was all over and Roxas stood still in the middle of the hallway, still slightly being pushed around by other hurrying toros heading to their class hurriedly. He managed his way out, or rather in, and tumbled in the classroom. Strangely, but not really, no one paid the least attention to his misfortunes. Everyone seemed rather used to such events. He dusted himself off.
Roxas walked around the desks, searching for a decent seat.
Random students seemed to be having their own little private conversations all around the classroom in little groups. Two girls were making out rather explicitly in the back of the class, with a boy staring five inches away from them, and a hideously pale boy sniffed something out of a brown paper-bag and twitched hysterically.
Shhh, stay cool, Roxas. Just focus yourself in staying sane and... making it through a whole entire year here. Oh god. Mother, I love you, but can't I just bake you a crappy but loveable cake to make you happy and proud of me?
Roxas spotted a very lonely seat in the very lonely, very dark corner of the room. He was beginning to head tours it when a kid's foot on the front row, and when there just had to be a bloody fad of wearing huge, red clown shoes, tripped him.
Roxas grunted girlishly as he flew in the air in the most gravity defying slow motion possible. In the midst of his fall, he accidentally let got of his virtually empty backpack, meaning the item was amazingly light enough to go flying across the room and land into the entering teacher's face and forcing the man to spill his cold, black coffee all over himself.
The entire class stopped what they were doing, the atmosphere momentarily froze. The boy in the back even stopped twitching.
Roxas gaped, looking up at the teacher from the floor. The kid on the front row bit his nails frantically.
"O-oops."
Roxas glared at him and stood up, turning to face the teacher. "I-I'm s--"
"It's alright," He groaned while lightly dabbing his face with a Kleenex, "I can never walk into a classroom without something disastrous happening to me anymore."
Roxas felt that first-day-of-school-nervousness in his gut that horribly made one miss their mommy and want to puke their intestines out in front of the class. Then, possibly, cry. But Roxas was unaffected by that part.
The educator then picked up Roxas's lighter-than-clouds backpack and handed it to him.
"Thank you," Roxas stared at him. He looked so young to be an Advanced Math teacher. Weren't those usually too old to pick up a kid's backpack? But this guy looked like some kind of male model. He even looked liked he was currently modeling that perfectly white shirt with the huge, black stain on the chest. He looked like he could stand at a store's display window and just be stared at by passing costumers. He looked like the song Too Sexy had been specifically made for him. The guy even looked like-
"Are you new or in the wrong class? You've got a lost look on your face."
Roxas shook his head, discarding his strangely teacher-admiring thoughts. The blond stuttered. "Um- Uuhhh... I-I'm new. My name's Roxas Rose--"
"Oh yes, you're on my list." He said, still cleaning himself while leaning over to look at some papers scattered on his desk. He shot Roxas a quick smile.
Whoa. Is nobody else seeing him?
"Oh. Well, um- sorry about th-that..."
"Really, it's fine. Take a seat."
Roxas turned to find a whole class staring at him like if he'd just... well, done what he did. Roxas simply made his way to the back seat which he'd been heading for before with a flushed face.
A random boy sitting a couple of seats away motioned him to get away.
"The fumes will get you high within a minute," he whispered. Roxas looked back to the kid with the paper-bag, who had returned to his twitching state and was currently staring blankly at the wall. The blue-eyed boy gave away a disgusted look and simply sat on the seat next to the white-haired kid who had warned him on the adjacent desk-row instead.
The first day of school had been a complete annoyance. As predicted by my smarter and more pessimistic side of the brain. At least three people had asked me for "candy" or gum in nearly every class. Luckily for me, there hadn't been anymore embarrassments through the rest of the day.
After getting his tray of food, Roxas looked overhead the cafeteria wondering where it would be safe to sit and eat the supposed 'meal' given to him.
It seemed liked every table had it's own clique. He stood by the serving counter while holding his food-tray numbly.
How was he honestly meant to survive? His mother was one of the seven Community Mayor Princesses, if she didn't know the monstrosity that it was to attend High School, why would she make Roxas go through this? Did she forget that, aside from usually acting like he didn't, the poor teen actually did have feelings?
"It ain't gettin' any betta kid, just go an' sit yo' tiny bum down." The frightening cafeteria woman howled from behind Roxas, making him jump a little.
He finally decided to sit in am empty table far away from the rest. He watched everyone silently as he brought his foul-smelling subway sandwich to his mouth.
"Ugh," He simply put it aside after the horrible smell crawled up to his overly sensitive nostrils. He had been starving all day. Why did he think that he wasn't going to need breakfast? That was certainly a pointer he wasn't going to forget. More importantly, to remember to get his lunch somewhere else other than the cafeteria. All he did was munch on his chips and stab at his apple with a strange utensil looking like the retarded offspring of a spoon and a fork.
It was… like a mad jungle. Everyone just talking at once, yelling and even randomly screaming. Food was occasionally flying across tables. Roxas hated the noise. Home was quieter than the coffin of an undead Zero with his mouth sewed shut and buried 50 feet under… on some random deserted area in the Pride Lands.
By the time school was over and Roxas made it home from the long walk, and after getting a much anticipated 'So how was school today?' from his mother who had longed to say that since he'd been born, all he wanted to do was sleep.
Unfortunately, tomorrow arrived.
Alright, alright! Before I get sharp objects thrown at me-- Roxas's last name.
Rose.
Why?
Briar Rose, Princess Aurora's alias. I couldn't help myself, it seemed kinda fitting. Very fitting actually.
Whee! Sexy math teacher, you've gotta be able to tell that that's gonna be a problem, hmm?
Poor Roxas. And it's only the first day. Less than 365 more to go! Oh and yes, there will be little narration comments by Roxas all throughout this, sort of like in the movie but more often.
Isn't it just so nerve wracking to wonder who is/are going to be the representation for the movie's antagonists?
No?
Oh well, I'm sure it'll be a shocker… or not.
