So maybe there are benefits of marriage but they just aren't coming to mind. When Terrence shoved that golden band into my face I thought he was attempting to poke my eye out. Must have been a lapse in judgment on my part- but oh well. It's not like something akin to this situation hasn't happened before.
...
...
Okay, so it hasn't.
Did you know that asparagus is the most awful color in the world? Yes, it even kicks Stucco's ass, in my opinion. Well, what do you think caused that to come to mind? And no ... I'm not trying to change the subject. Asparagus was caught in Terrence's teeth. Not only does he love veggies, the healthy objects of my loathing, he gets them stuck in his teeth.
At night when I'm at his apartment, he's chomping away at some carrot impersonating a horse, or crunching celery. Yuck, I hate celery. Basically the only way I can eat it is with peanut butter. But now I really am getting off subject. He sleeps in silk teddy bear boxers and eats celery. My fiancée is a loser. I don't even want to talk about his late night battle cries when he's ready to "consummate" the pre-arranged Indian marriage.
Enough said, right?
Well... I know you're wondering why I even said yes, if all I do is slam him left and right. The reason is far more simple than you might think.
I said no, he thought it meant yes, I had a rock the size of Greenland on my finger and to celebrate he uncorked another battle cry that night, while I uncorked the Champaign bottle, for me only mind you.
The next morning, I woke from what I assumed a terrible nightmare with a splitting headache and Terrence's chattering on the phone conference style to a good portion of his entire family (extended family included). I attempted to go back to sleep, pulling the cream comforter over my head and effectively shutting out the blinding sun, and eventually Terrence's voice as I slipped back into unconsciousness.
When I finally woke up two hours later, Terrence was no where in sight and my cell phone was laying on my pillow next to my head, beeping unpleasantly with several missed calls and a lengthy amount of voicemails. A note attached to the antenna informed me that Terrence had skipped off to work after an important call had come in and he was forced from my slumbering form. In gratitude to whichever deity granted me the extra bed space I stretched out and luxuriated in the feel of solitude. Shuffling through the missed calls list, I found that my mother, boss, uncle, and my friends Mina, Lita, Rei, and also Amy had called. Normally I wasn't such a popular woman at such an early time, but I supposed there were always exceptions, like when my cousin Kira had run away and everyone was out looking for her.
The first call was of course to my mother, whose message was more threatening than a navy seal's hard muscular frame after two years of Japanese water torture and no conjugal visits.
"SERENA EVANGALINE ELIZABETH CHRISTAINSEN, you have some EXPLAINING TO DO" I winced as the phone was a mere 12 inches from my ear at the time she decided to pop a lung and my ear drum. As you can already tell, the conversation did not progress easily nor quietly. Good thing God made pillows. I stuffed the phone underneath the beautiful feather pillow and proceeded to wait approximately five minutes until I felt the coast was clear.
"Mom?" There was a loud banging on the phone and I could only guess she was venting her frustrations on a poor defenseless batch of cookies or pie dough. "….Mom?" I tried again.
"I'm here dear." was the exasperated reply and I felt for sure she was going to launch into an 'I'm so disappointed in you, how could you not tell me, I'm your mother' speech.
"I just wanted you to be the first person I told. Terrence proposed last night."
The racket stopped and I heard her sigh. Was she okay, I wondered. She was not babbling incoherently as I expected she would.
"I know. He called this morning because he couldn't wait to deliver the news."
Was it just me or did my mom seem hesitant to offer congratulations? This really did surprise me. She had for a time, seemed like Terrence's biggest fan.
"Well, I wanted to know how you felt about this situation." Two nights ago I would have guessed she'd started wedding plans, my cake, dress, and catering all selected and on hold. Now, from her tone, I wasn't so sure she wouldn't make an effort to talk me out of it.
"If this is what you want dear, then I'm happy for you. Terrence is a good man. I've gotten the impression he'll bend over backwards to make you happy."
Ah. There it was.
"Oh. Okay, Mom. I have to go call the girls back. I'll see you Sunday at church." I managed to mutter and clicked the disconnect button to end the call.
The calls to the girls went much more smooth and I hung up thirty minutes later drained. Lita had been hooting and carrying on about an engagement party. Rei suspected I was pregnant and demanded to know when I was due, after which I assured her that I was not pregnant and I had no intentions of becoming pregnant in the near future. What is it about pregnant women? They act as if everyone wants to join their club immediately after their own discovery. Jealous of her extra twenty pounds and slow waddle, I think not.
Amy was on call and couldn't reach her phone so I was spared the lecture on responsibility and the advantages of holy matrimony, though I dreaded the last call, saving Mina for last.
She'd always harbored suspicions that I was madly in love with someone else and had been carrying on this explicit love affair behind Terrence's back. I assure you, dear readers, that I had never cheated on a boyfriend, date, or fiancée. Well, until two months after the proposal that is.
It could only get more interesting than this.
So at Mina's Valentine's Day party when I was mingling with people I hadn't had a chance to speak to in several weeks, something happened.
I mingled, schmoozing and boozing with old friends from college, new friends from work and various other acquaintances. I easily swept through the room, making obligatory rounds as Mina introduced me as the Future Mrs. Terrence Jackson and flashed my ring that I fought to keep hidden. I quickly darted away from Mina when I caught an opening in the crowded living room and headed toward the kitchen to freshen my drink. All this smiling and small talk was grating on my nerves and I was desperate to escape. I never understood why Mina was such a socialite and I had ended up the exact opposite. I pondered our early years of friendship as I made my way through the kitchen doors and my heels made a slight screeching sound as I came to a sudden halt.
"Hello, Serena." The smooth voice that had haunted my dreams hit me full force and I could not decide whether to turn around and make a run for it or to act like the stereotypical blonde and feign ignorance.
Apparently, my choice had been made for me.
Damn Mina!!!!
Perhaps it was the alcohol, or maybe just the overwhelming urge for sensual sexual contact, but I wound up in someone else's house. And then, there was the biggest wrong of all. Not only did I not love my fiancée, and his ring is stuck in the random guy's shower drain, but the shower drain belonged to Darien Brookens. Alright, so he's really not so random. And it doesn't stop there. Oh, of course it doesn't! Like anything good would happen to me even once. He was my summer fling after graduation. Yes, that was over four years ago, but fate always seems to bite me in the ass.
As I rinsed my skin off his heady cologne I remembered my early days in the big city. I'd just started to make it on my own and Darien had been so easy to fall in love with, too easy. We'd met at a little coffee shop, having received each other's coffee by mistake. Coincidence, romance was not in my hand the dealer had dealt me.
There was a rapping on the door as I shut off the water and made a mad grab for the pretty glittery ring that Terrence had bought me.
"Serena, are you alright in there?" Darien's delicious voice sent chills up my spine but I had no time for such things as my fingers were wedged down the drain.
"I'm fine. I just...ahh..I ahh just dropped my ring down the shower drain and I'm trying to.." the bathroom door opened and I sprang for a towel.
"I'll get it for you." Darien strode in, with a pair of black boxers exposed from his low slung black sweatpants.
Not only had I committed something akin to adultery, I was looking at the muscled torso of my ex-fling who was making quick work of retrieving my engagement ring to another man.
"Got it. How'd you manage this rock?" He whistled and held it out for me.
"It was a gift with intention of something in return."
"This guy must really love you." My gaze jerked from the ring in his open palm to his dark eyes.
"I think he does." I reached for the ring and slipped it onto my finger. The large diamond winked in the bright morning light.
"Too bad you don't return it." His arms drew me to his chest and I had to lean my head back to look up at his face.
"I don't know what to do." I whispered, as his lips hovered above mine. Already I was fighting to suppress the urge to allow him to take me under as he'd done the night before. Is it illegal to cheat on your fiancée? How many years is the sentence, because double jeopardy is probably going to save my ass.
"If you let things go, they'll fall into place." his husky whisper was feathered against my neck as he lips nudged and his tongue licked at already tingling flesh.
"When," I gasped out "will it fall together?"
"I can't answer that for you, Serena." His arms tightened around me and I started to panic. This was quickly escalating into something I was entirely sure I wanted right now, but was also one hundred percent positive I should not be doing.
"Darien, we shouldn't -"
"I want to. Serena, you're here now, and I'm not letting you walk out of my life like you did before." His cobalt eyes gazed unflinchingly into mine and I couldn't help the emotions that fluctuated. "Serena, why can't you just admit that you don't love him and that you never did? Terrence isn't the right one." Anger flooded my face with a flush and I pulled away from his grasp. "I'm sorry." the second I was out of his arms he lunged for me again, his apologetic gaze pleading me to forgive his outburst.
"It's not like I planned for my life to play out like this, Darien. I didn't want to get married to a guy I don't love or have a crappy job." my hands clutched at his muscular arms. I needed something to which I could cling as cheesy as that may seem. Damn, it sounded like I've been reading way too many romance novels, eh?
"But Serena, you can change all that." he held me firmly by my elbows.
"For some of us, it's not that simple!" I bit back, resentment building. I didn't have all the resources Mr. Moneybags had.
"Serena, what is it that you want?" I felt my arms go slack and I could only look up at him for a moment before I dropped my eyes to the space between us. No one had ever asked me what I really wanted before. As I stared into his dark blue eyes, I searched for something to tell me that this was a joke. But I realized it wasn't when the deep cobalt orbs penetrated my paper-thin defenses.
"I don't know." The answer was so plain-jane of me. The typical confused twenty something gal who could not get her act together when the world was leaving her behind, stood there; I stood there, naked underneath the soft black towel, water dripping from my hair onto my shoulders and a modern day Adonis holding onto me.
"I think I can assist you in finding out," he practically purred as he pushed me against the cool tile of the shower wall, hand tangling into my hair and forcing my head back, exposing my neck.
I can't really explain what happened, because in truth, I've never had someone kiss me the way he did.
It's pure seduction, pure evil is what it is!
The flesh, the movements, all of him powerful, and gloriously strong. My hands roamed over the muscles of his shoulders, down his back, fingers pulling to find ground, nails tearing at the smooth flesh.
My towel joined his clothes on the bathroom floor, the shower door closing behind our tangled bodies. And then the shower sprang to life, our sweat mixing with soap and the hot steam clouding the bathroom, creating a nebulous atmosphere.
"You can't deny that you like this," he whispered into my ear, his breath feathering against my skin and making me respond instantly. "We're good together, Serena."
I let him take me. I let the sound of the water beating against us and the wall fill my ears and the smell of his scented soap overwhelm my nostrils.
A little over half an hour later we stepped out of the shower. His clothes still laid with my towel in a pile on the floor. My glistened on the sink counter and I hesitated to pick it up even when I knew I needed to leave and return to reality.
I quietly dressed in the clothes I had worn the night before, feeling his eyes upon me with every motion. He pulled on a pair of shorts and a tshirt that were already laying on a nearby chair.
He followed silently as I exited his room, making my way down the hallway.
Halfway down the hallway, so close to the exit I could see the shining light around the front door of his house, he held me against the wall, putting his leg between mine and trapping my arms above my head with his large but gentle hands.
"Darien, I-"
"Shh..."
In true weaker, female fashion, I was turned into mush in his arms, his lips sucking the resistance from my body as they roamed over my exposed skin. Several times my thoughts had resurfaced to the top of my mind, flashes of Terrence and the upcoming engagement party spilling into my mental vision. Yet all the same, they slipped out just as quickly as they came, until my body completely took over and let the passion become an inferno inside me.
Struggling to break his overpowering hold, he seemed to only press me further into the wall. I could feel the heat of his body through my clothing, a simple red silk dress and the even thinner slip underneath, and suddenly my body registered cold. He'd drawn back, putting several inches between us. Confused and slightly disappointed, I gazed into his dark eyes.
"Darien, we should-" I was caught off abruptly.
And then he kissed me again. It wasn't the simple peck on the lips, nor the briefest of touches. No, it was so much more. It was like hot lava, liquid heat, and scorching madness. The kind of kiss you have after a night of sweaty dancing and too many drinks. It was the kind of kiss that clears your mind and burns through your body, heating your blood to an almost unimaginable temperature.
I didn't get passed the hallway, and an hour later found me lying beneath the tangled sheets of his bed, hair in disarray and quite exhausted. He grinned from underneath me, his devilish look bringing an unhealthy flush to my face. At least, that's what I kept telling myself. He assured me that he is just checking if my heart is working properly.
Beneath the sheets, limbs tangled, we spent the better part of the day.
The next day I was seated in a patio chair at a friend's house. Not my friend, but rather Terrence's, and Terrence happened to be sitting rather too close on such a warm sunny day. My large sunhat and big dark sunglasses were only aiding in keeping the scorching sun off my face, but my shoulders were quickly protesting their relationship with the sun by turning a menacing pink. Desperate to escape, I tried feigning a headache, which only scored me more attention from Terrence, the ever doting fiancée. My body was crying out for a fresh breeze, a gust of wind, anything to save me from the rest of the evening.
My palm pilot started beeping madly and I excused myself before retrieving the device from my smart summer clutch and walking a good distance away from the lunch party.
It was a number I didn't recognize, but colleagues were always changing their numbers and such so I didn't hesitate to answer it. If I had known it was Darien's number, I wouldn't have picked it up.
"Hello, Serena Christainsen speaking."
"You left without saying goodbye." The low rumble of his unique and incredibly sexy voice made my knees weak. I faltered in my step and paused to regain my balance.
"How'd you get this number?" I glanced back at Terrence to make sure he hadn't noticed my stumble. He smiled and waved at me, oblivious to my racing heart and current caller.
"Hi, how are you? I'm fine, thanks for asking." The sarcasm was clearly detectable and I smirked at his attitude. He always did keep things interesting.
"Funny. But how did you get this number?" I continued to walk and wasn't satisfied with the distance from Terrence until I was safely around the side of the house.
"Mina gave it to me, when I told her that your old number didn't work and I couldn't reach you."
That about put me into hysterics and I clutched my chest where my heart was beating rapidly. I felt ready to cry.
"You talked to Mina!" It was a statement, a hysterical statement but a statement nonetheless. My voice was reaching decibels only dogs could hear.
"Calm down. She didn't see us leave together at her party. I told her I wanted to catch up with you because we didn't have a chance last night. She doesn't suspect anything, and in fact, reminded me that you were engaged…happily engaged." The last part came out odd and my free hand fluttered to my forehead where a headache was forming.
"What do you want?" I moaned helplessly, wishing I'd never downed three flutes of Champagne and flashed him my famous 'come hither' eyes as I left the party.
"I want to see you."
"No." I almost said yes. Oh my dear lord, I really had wanted to say yes. Why did I want to do that? My mind raced and I struggled to maintain coherency. He was not going to let me off easy.
"Yes. I'll be at that little café we used to go to at eight tonight. I'll meet you there. Don't bother refusing; I know you'll be there." And the line went dead.
I firmly pressed my lips together, wanting to scream with frustration and curse the fates and every kind of alcohol. After safely tucking the little device from hell back into my clutch I strolled back to the group. Terrence smiled and held out his hand. I smiled back and slipped mine into his as I settled back into my seat. He placed a tiny kiss on it before trapping it between his own and rubbing gently. Sure, now he decides to be the attentive, loving fiancée. Thankfully, my rolling eyes were hidden behind the dark glasses.
We continued to chat with his two friends until the sun dipped lazily behind the tree line. I was bored senseless. It appeared Terrence's friends were just as boring as he was, and I thought one of him was more than enough. After my sixth glass of wine I was well on my way of being entertained and didn't have to force my laughter at their corny jokes. Soon after seven Terrence announced that we had to get going. I sincerely dreaded leaving, thinking of the confrontation with Darien that lay ahead of me. Terrence had decided to drive this afternoon so we rode in silence down the winding roads in the country. Thankfully, his sleek black Lexus was comfortable and rode easy. I reclined in my seat and closed my eyes as he navigated the way to our beautiful brownstone.
Neither of us were financially unstable, and I briefly remembered the apartment on 5th avenue I gave up for the one we currently shared. Sure, I was an investment banker and he was a rich, dashing COO of a booming software company, so we had a little bit of money to kick around. I wouldn't exactly call him dashing, but he was pretty easy on the eyes. Darien, however, was a whole other ballgame. He was old money, traditional, had gone to Harvard and all the while maintained that heartthrob, all-American image that made me act like a young pre-teen in his presence. Those dark penetrating eyes, dark hair and amazing body that screamed to be released from his Armani Exchange suits caused chills to run down my spine.
Why was I thinking about him right now? I shook my head to clear my thoughts of him and my action earned a quizzical look from Terrence.
"Is there something wrong, Serena? You were quiet all afternoon."
"What? Oh, I'm fine. Sorry, I've just been feeling a bit under the weather." I hoped he'd buy my excuse. He bought my story yesterday afternoon when I clumsily stumbled through our front door and babbled some half-assed line about having stayed at Mina's because I was too drunk to make it home. He frowned disapprovingly before pulling me into a hug and kissing the top of my forehead. I'd never felt that sleazy before. I'd just come home from a sex marathon with an old fling and my fiancée helped my weakened form into our bathroom to run me a bubble bath.
"Are you sure you're alright? You've been acting differently since you got home yesterday. Do you think you're coming down with something?" He glanced away from the road to look at my face, but I hid behind my sunglasses like a coward.
"I'm okay, Terrence, really. I'm just in need of a little pick-me-up. I think I'll call Mina and see if she wants to meet at the café for a quick coffee."
"Okay, but only if you're sure you're feeling well. I don't want you to get sick, sweetheart." He gave up the fight and I was silently disheartened. He never wanted to argue, never pushed buttons when it came to me. I guess I sometimes wished he would.
The rest of the ride was in silence and when he parked in front of our place I didn't wait for him to walk around and open my door. Instead, I hopped out and raced up the steps, intent on taking a quick shower and changing out of the horrible sundress and crazy summer heels. I left Terrence in my dust as I stormed through the place, tossing articles of clothing and the fancy footwear aside in my haste.
The minute I stepped out of the shower I felt dirty. I was leaving my fiancée tonight to see the man I had a fling with, a man I slept with a couple times, developed feelings for, ran away from and was basically being drawn back to all over again. As I dried my hair and slipped into a simple pair of boot cut jeans and a cashmere sweater I thought about the past. It was not enough that I felt unhinged when I was in Darien's presence. I had made the right choice when I left him, but going back also felt like the right thing to do.
The sweater, cream and soft, pulled out the natural diamond highlights I hated as a child. I told myself over and over as I walked down the sidewalk to the little café of sin that I wasn't dressed for trouble.
The sensible brown leather boots seemed weighted down by lead as I got closer and closer to the café. As I finally neared the corner I couldn't help but glance back at the way I had come. I only had a brief moment to ponder a quick retreat and then I was jerked off my feet. My cry of panic was smothered by two very warm, seductive lips and I immediately tensed and my brain kicked into overdrive. Using every ounce of strength I possessed I pulled away and put my hands against my attacker's chest.
"Hello stranger." He mumbled as his lips trailed down my exposed neck. I tried to pull away again, and every fiber in my being screamed at me for leaving his embrace.
"I can't…" It was a far cry from the forceful voice I intended to have and instead it came out as a whisper. All my feminist training that should have made me roar with rage and anguish and scream at the top of my lungs came out in a little, teeny, tiny, pansy-ass whisper. My newfound Florence Nightingale attitude was pathetic. I had a look that could make grown, balding stock brokers practically piss their pants when they saw it, and yet his cologne sent the synapses of my brain into malfunction. My suburban housewife of a mother raised me with an iron hand to take no prisoners and have dinner on the table by 5:30pm and here I was quickly being reduced to a softer version of putty in this man's grip. I wouldn't even call it an embrace anymore. One hand was tightly fisted in my loose hair the other securing my body to his as he lent his forehead against mine. I was the helpless damsel in distress, held captive in the clutches of a mad man.
"My place is just a few blocks from here." His voice was reduced to a tender whisper and I felt my defenses start to crumble. Distress, should have used the term lightly. I ached for his lips to touch my skin again, but I knew there had to be some words before I just surrendered again. – Not that I intended to 'surrender' anything even if we did have a real conversation.
I chanced a direct look into his eyes and found they were focused entirely on my own. I bit my lip and took in the scenery around us. No one was staring and I could not recognize a single face in the area.
He took my broken eye contact as a sign of surrender and swung an arm around my shoulders before pulling me into the café. I stumbled a bit under the weight of his muscular arm but was able to recover quickly. I was never man-handled. We grabbed two coffees to go and a few bagels before he again led me outside. On the walk back to his house we carried on a casual conversation. We didn't mention our last encounter or the today's events, but only the events preceding Mina's party.
I'd been a starry-eyed college graduate the first time I met him the little café. In fact, that tiny little café had been our meeting place after a long, hot, day at work. Well, work for me and play for him. His money generally worked for him and I worked for a small amount of money that seemed to be enough to keep food in my fridge and the landlord from knocking on my door for rent. He'd been the greatest catch in my inexperienced dating career and I knew that he'd have left me eventually. It seemed to be inevitable in every relationship I had ever had. So, after a very short, very hot summer, I changed my address, my phone number and my hair style. I had been offered a job at an exclusive banking firm and couldn't say no. I left Darien behind and wrote him off as just another fling. I never expected Mina to invite him to the party just as I had never expected to run into him in a million years.
We talked of the past few years, not mentioning relationships or anything deemed too personal. We kept the conversation light even as we walked up the stairs to his house and removed our shoes at the door. My coffee was gone and his was in the remnant stage. We paused just inside the door, shoeless and unable to say anything. A seven block walk of talking but not really saying anything left us in a deafening silence.
Darien exhaled louder than usual and tossed the bag concealing the bagels onto the coffee table befor taking my empty cup and heading in the direction I assumed was the kitchen. I padded to the couch and allowed myself to collapse and sink into the plush cushioning. I didn't hear him approach but the feel of his hand on my face startled me and I opened my eyes, angling my body to get a better look. He was crouched down on his knees, lips fixed into a small smile. I couldn't help but smile back.
"Move over." He rose to his full height before attempting to settle behind me on the couch. After finally achieving his goal, he reached over my prone form and grabbed the remote. It all felt so normal, which is what was so weird about the whole situation. I was laying on the couch with an ex-boyfriend who I left without any answers nor explanations and he was nonchalantly pretending like we were a couple, snuggling on the couch on a late Sunday evening after having a nice evening coffee. I had avoided that coffee shop for so long, it felt like a betrayal to have consumed its delicious caffeinated goodness after abstaining for so long.
When his nimble fingers pulled back the hair protectively covering my neck and those devilish lips began their onslaught on my oversensitive skin I was simply lost.
"Darien…" I turned on the couch, pushing myself into him and effectively putting a kink in his battle plan.
"How can I seduce you if you're fighting me every step?"
I used whatever strength I had in me to meet his eyes.
"Why are you doing this?" My hands had a mind of their own as they traveled up his lean torso, tortuously covered by a dark mossy green sweater and customary white t-shirt he always wore under every outfit excluding his Armani suits. My fingers itched to brush and caress his perfect skin. Up they traveled, with their own agenda, pulling the sweater that brought out the darkness of his hair and the sharp cobalt in his eyes up his body and eventually over his head.
"I thought it was obvious," he replied softly, never losing eye contact as he divested me of my sweater and began to make quick work of my jeans. I moved and covered his hands with my own, effectively stopping him from finishing the buttons on my jeans.
"It's not." I shifted even more, pulling his willing form underneath mine and praying he wouldn't do something ridiculous like roll us onto the floor. His hands found their way into my hair instead of my pants and I almost regretted the move. There was no mistake I wanted him, I wanted him from the moment he practically assaulted me on the sidewalk. I just was not sure why I wanted him.
"Let's have it." He was ready, I could tell. He was waiting for the real issue to be discussed, like a dehydrated man being offered water; careful not to take too much but wanting to gorge himself all the same.
"Why?"
"Why not?" His deflective comment only proved to piss me off and he instantly knew it was the wrong thing to say. His expression turned apologetic and then instantly serious. "You really want to know?"
"No." I paused and looked around the apartment before returning my gaze to his. "I need to know."
A slow smile came to his lips and he made an effort to sit up. I obliged by sliding further down his body and slowly sitting up, making sure I was on the opposite end of the couch.
He looked at me for a moment, as if weighing his options. Would he use one of those easy lines that made me giddy and gullible? I began to grow impatient with every second of silence that passed between us.
There you go- the end of Chapter 1. Yes, I revised it again- so much of it is the same- with a few minor changes from the original and the second draft. I'm becoming a bit of a perfectionist and Serena's thoughts are progressing the way I want them to, finally. As I started working on Chapter 2 again- I realized Darien's character seemed shallow, after her without motive. Now I've added a bit more information that seemed clear to me (the writer) and more than likely - unclear to you (the reader).
You know the drill- read, review, and .... read some more!
