To Fake Seme-senpai,
You wrote me a Bel/Fran fic for my birthday,
So I return the favor with fail Christmas fic~
Enjoy?


" 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas would soon be there."

Gokudera had to wonder just what he was doing there. The kids were a pain in the ass, that baseball idiot's laughter was annoying, along with his shit-eating grin that wouldn't go away, and to top it off, the bomber was dressed as an elf… with green tights… and bells. Every time he moved, he would jingle… and jingle… and jingle… and jingle all the way.

Did he mention how the baseball idiot's laughter was annoying? Seriously, just what the hell was so funny? Gokudera glowered at the reindeer-clad boy, his anger rising. God, just watching him pissed Gokudera off. What was he so happy about?

Gokudera sighed. 'Well… at least Tenth is enjoying himself.' The only reason Gokudera agreed to this (stupid? Humiliating? Annoying?) request was because snowman-dressed Tsuna asked him to… Though, Gokudera was confused when he didn't see his boss where he last saw him.

"Tenth?" The Italian called out, looking around. Gokudera made a strangled noise when he finally found his beloved boss.

"Haha, looks like Tsuna's having fun!" Yamamoto commented merrily, walking up beside Gokudera. Usually Gokudera would yell at him for being stupid but couldn't; his eyes were glued to the scene before him.

Apparently some of the snot-noised kids got bored and decided to entertain themselves… by tying Tsuna up and duct taping his mouth. Poor Tsuna had tears in his eyes, pitifully calling out for helping behind the duct tape and struggling in his bonds… or so Gokudera assumed. The brunet's body was missing, hidden in two giant snowballs. The kids had decided to turn Tsuna into a real snowman.

"…" Gokudera was stunned into silence. How did he not notice? His boss had been abducted right up from under his noise and was being tortured! What kind of right-hand man was he? "Tenth, I'll save you!" So Gokudera went, bravely fighting kids six years younger than him, dodging snowballs and spitwads alike, as he saved his boss – by throwing dynamites at him… while Yamamoto laughed in the background.


After many apologizing, Gokudera and Yamamoto left Tsuna in the hands of his mother.

"Poor Tsuna, catching a cold in the middle of the day," Yamamoto mumbled as the two walked.

"What kind of right-hand man am I? Letting Tenth get sick," Gokudera was still beating himself up over this, "and on Christmas Eve, too!"

"Christmas Eve?" Gokudera had to stop walking at that. "Hm? Gokudera?" Yamamoto, a few steps ahead of the boy, stopped as he finally noticed Gokudera was behind him.

"… You know tomorrow is Christmas, right?" Gokudera gave the taller boy a suspicious look.

"Christmas?" … Yamamoto looked genuinely confused.

"Yeah, Christmas…?" Yamamoto blinked his eyes, "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire? Jack Frost nipping at your nose?" Yamamoto still looked clueless. "Stockings hung by the chimney with care? In hopes of St. Nick would soon be there?"

"Haha, Gokudera's rhyming~"

"…" Gokudera wanted to face palm. Instead, he opted to stare at the raven-head. How could he not know what Christmas was? That had to be ranked the top stupidest question Yamamoto could ask or not know about… or both! (The bomber was half-tempted to find Futa just to see if he were right!)

"Maa, maa, Gokudera!" Yamamoto's laugh knocked Gokudera from his stunned state, "What's with that look?"

"… C'mere, you," Gokudera grabbed Yamamoto's wrist, pulling the boy with him as he walked, "I'm gonna teach you about Christmas even if it takes me all day," he vowed. Yamamoto just grinned.


"What're we doing here?" Yamamoto asked, hauling an axe over his shoulder.

"I wasn't gonna get a stupid tree this year, but now I have to." Gokudera looked at all the evergreen trees, doing some mental calculations. Finally, he stopped at one tree in particular. "This one looks good."

"Mm?" Yamamoto stared at the tree in wonder. In wonder of what? Gokudera wasn't sure.

"Chop it down."

"Huh?" Now the taller boy blinked.

"C'mon, pretend it's like baseball or something," Gokudera grumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. He really just wanted to get this over with. Now that the bomber thought about it, he questioned just why he agreed to do this. He didn't even like the idiot!

"Baseball?" Gokudera didn't miss the happy gleam in Yamamoto's honey gaze. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"Here," Gokudera walked up to the tree, drawing an X on the tree (figuratively speaking), "X marks the spot. Hack it away like you're playing baseball." Gokudera barely had enough time to move out of the way as Yamamoto entered game mode. In a matter of moments, the tree was toppled over.

"Haha that was fun!" Yamamoto grinned as he swung the axe over his shoulder. Gokudera acted without thinking. He knocked the axe from Yamamoto's hand, it falling to the ground. Yamamoto blinked his eyes – Gokudera did too. Why did he just do that?

"Idiot, don't cut your own head off," Gokudera grunted, turning his head away. In truth, that's why he did what he did, but it confused him. Just what possessed Gokudera to do that? As if Yamamoto was that stupid.

"Aww, thanks, Gokudera~" Yamamoto didn't question it. Instead, he laughed cheerfully. Gokudera blamed his red cheeks on the cold, ignoring how warm his face felt.


After the two trekked the tree to Gokudera's apartment (earning many weird stares), the two went to buy decorations.

"Can we put sushi on the tree?"

"Why would you wanna put sushi on a tree?"

"… I don't know but can we?"

"No!"

"Aww." Yamamoto pouted, giving Gokudera a puppy-dog look, "Pretty please?"

Again Gokudera ignored how his face suddenly warmed up, "No, dammit. We're gonna buy normal decorations like regular people."

"… But that sounds so boring~" Yamamoto whined.

"I don't care." After shopping about for Christmas stockings, ingredients for cookie dough (since Yamamoto said it'd be more fun making the dough then buying), and ornaments, they lastly needed lights. "Where the hell are the lights?" Gokudera growled, annoyed.

"Mm… up there?" Yamamoto nodded his head, indicating where they were. Gokudera looked up, indeed seeing a box of lights on a shelf over his head.

"Finally…" Gokudera reached for it, the box falling just right out of reach. "Dammit."

"Here, let me." Gokudera froze when he felt something touching him. From the corner of his eye, he saw Yamamoto stretch for the box, his front against the bomber's back. Gokudera's face exploded with color as he quickly looked away. Just what the hell was Yamamoto thinking? "Ahahaha, got it~" Yamamoto pulled the box down, encasing Gokudera in his arms. This made Gokudera's heart skip a beat. "Mm, Gokudera?" Said boy's breath hitched in his throat when he felt Yamamoto's warm breath on his ear, "Why's your face so red?"

Gokudera's heart was racing as he quickly got out of Yamamoto's arms, "N-No reason!" The bomber mentally cursed himself for stuttering, hurrying to the check-out, "Let's go!"

"Hahaha 'kay~" After paying for everything, the two headed for Gokudera's home. Once there, Yamamoto set the groceries down and turned back to the door, "I'll be back in a few. I'm gonna go check on my old man." With that, he left.

While Yamamoto was gone, Gokudera took the time alone to think. He couldn't get over how strangely he's been acting all day. Why, in the first place, did he decide to spend all Christmas day the person he hated the most? On top of that, why would his face randomly heat up at such inappropriate times? What was with his heart jack hammering in his chest anyway? Why is it he felt something close to comfort in Yamamoto's arms? Seriously, just what was wrong with him?

Gokudera shoved the cookie dough in the oven, leaning against the counter as he waited. His mind tried to find some reasonable explanation for his behavior but nothing seemed right. Until finally, it hit him. His heart skipped a beat, his jade eyes widening, as it came to him. No, it couldn't be – could it? It would make sense, but this was the baseball idiot he was talking about! Why in the world would –

A knock at the door made Gokudera jump, successfully bringing the boy back to earth.

"Hiya, Gokudera~" Yamamoto greeted as Gokudera allowed him in. He shrugged off his coat, taking his gloves off and kicking his shoes off. The baseball idiot ran a hand through his damp by snow hair and grinned. For whatever reason, that grin made Gokudera's heart speed up a tad bit as he prevented the heat from meeting his cheek.

"Welcome back," Gokudera mumbled unconsciously, crossing his arms awkwardly.

"Mm?" Yamamoto looked a bit confused. He didn't expect Gokudera to greet him, but nevertheless he laughed, "Thank you~"

Though the grin from his face disappeared when Gokudera said, "I made the cookies without you."

"Awww!"

"You took forever and I was bored." Yamamoto made a noise of disappointment, frowning. He followed the bomber into the kitchen before Yamamoto stopped him.

"Maa, Gokudera, you got something on your face…"

"Huh?" Gokudera turned to him, looking confused. "Where?"

"Here." Yamamoto's fingers lightly brushed up his neck, sending shivers down Gokudera's spine, as they reached his chin. Yamamoto tilted Gokudera's head a bit, leaning down towards him. Gokudera could barely process what was going on, though he jerked when he left a wet tongue smooth over his cheek, which soon after heated up at the contact. "Got it~" Yamamoto whispered in Gokudera's ear, and Gokudera could practically feel the uncharacteristic smirk on his tan face. Gokudera grabbed the first thing he could, which happened to be a cookie.

"Here." He shoved it none too gently in Yamamoto's mouth, quickly backing away. The baseball idiot happily ate the cookie, smiling around it. Gokudera hurried to get the rest of the batch and two glasses of eggnog - anything to hide his embarrassment.


"Fucking lights!" Gokudera was at his limit.

"Maa, maa, Gokudera…"

"No! Shut up! These damn lights are pissing me off!" The bomber was ready to torch the tree. Yamamoto laughed uneasily, awkward grin on his face.

"Just calm down…"

"Don't tell me to calm down! These lights should just cooperate! Stupid tree!"

"Yelling at inanimate objects won't make them work~"

Gokudera allowed himself to be temporarily distracted, "You know what 'inanimate' means?"

"Haha maybe~"

"…" The rage was back. "Damn yakyuu-baka!" Yamamoto laughed again, holding his hands up in his own defense.

"Maa, maa, Gokudera, don't be like that…"

"When one goes out, they all go out!" And now he was reaching for his lighter, "Chestnuts roasting on an open tree fire…!"

"No, not the tree~" Yamamoto playfully whined, wrapping his arms around the bomber's waist and pulling him away. Gokudera growled, twisting and turning in his grasp, but the baseball idiot refused to let him go. Doing so would mean the end of the tree and Yamamoto couldn't allow that. After awhile, Gokudera calmed down. He slouched in Yamamoto's arms, glaring half-heartedly at the tree.

'One day, tree, one day…' Gokudera silently promised himself.

"Maa, Gokudera~" Gokudera grunted, indicating he was listening, "There's still one thing you haven't explained to me about Christmas~"

"Oh yeah?" Gokudera mumbled, barely giving his companion half his attention as he plotted vengeance.

"What's a mistletoe?"

Gokudera paled. "… What?" Yamamoto dropped his arms from Gokudera, bashfully scratching his head as he pointed up. Gokudera looked and sure enough, he saw a mistletoe. How in the world did that get up there? He had no idea. In fact, he was sure he never even bought a mistletoe. Why would he? It was just him and Yamamoto in his apartment. Gokudera's earlier thoughts came back to him, causing his eyes to widen a bit. Unless..!

"Gokudera?" Yamamoto poked his cheek, blinking his eyes.

"… A mistletoe is a week, 'kay thanks." With that, the bomber tried to run.

"Maa, Gokudera, don't lie." Yamamoto grabbed Gokudera's arm before he could successfully get away, pulling him back, "If it's a weed, why is it related to Christmas?"

"Because it's full of nargles!" Gokudera's heart was racing as he was made to face Yamamoto. The baseball idiot wrapped both of Gokudera's arms around his neck, before circling his own around the bomber's waist.

"Is that so?" Yamamoto whispered, a sly smirk on his tan face as a mischievous glint gleamed in his honey gaze.

"Y-Yeah…" Gokudera forgot how to breathe. Since when could Yamamoto appear so sexy? He should smirk more often…

"Mm… I don't believe you." With that, his lips touched Gokudera's in a heated kiss, leaving the bomber weak at the knees. He tightened his grip on the taller boy's neck, leaning into him as he closed his eyes and returned the kiss.

It looked like Gokudera's conclusion of Yamamoto was correct: Yamamoto was an alien.


Trololol~ Christmas fic I made for Fake Seme-senpai~ |D And yes, lol fail title indeed qq