Callie, yet again, bringing you the first taste of actual humor on this account!

I do not own PJO.

O-o-O

Maybe Reyna wasn't an expert when it came to romance, but she was fairly sure that when a boy presented a girl with flowers, the roots shouldn't be attached and dirt-encrusted. And she was almost positive that the flowers were supposed to be fresh.

"Today is your lucky day, Reyna," Octavian declared, offering her the wilting foliage. She took it gingerly between two fingers like it was covered in unicorn droppings.

"And…why is that?" she asked, nose wrinkled.

"You, my dear praetor, are about to get an offer most damsels only dream about," he said.

Damsels? Was he serious?She decided she needed a knight in shining armor to lop Octavian's arm off as he slung it around her shoulders.

"What do you say, after war games, we go down to the city and get some coffee?" he said in what was probably supposed to be an alluring voice but just came out sounding nasal. "Just you and me."

"What do you say we don't," she snapped, shrugging out from under his arm and sitting in her chair, tossing the flowers in the trash as she went.

Octavian followed, perching in Lucas' old chair—Lucas, gods, she missed him—and swirling his toga around himself with an air of superiority. "We can discuss the new vote for praetor," he said, "I know you're still mourning the loss of your old partner, but we need a man in power. A strong, capable man." Like me, she could almost hear him say.

"What about a strong, capable woman?" she countered, sliding to the far end of her throne as he leaned toward her.

"Come on, Rey, we all know you have trust issues when it comes to men. Why not do it for the benefit of the public?"

"Why not choose the best leader for the people, regardless of gender? And don't call me Rey."

"I think we both know who the best choice is," he said, contorting his face into what was most likely intended to mimic a seductive expression. He looked constipated.

"I think you may have a very different person in mind," she snapped.

"Come now, Reyna, we both know I'm going to get the vote," he said, cupping her chin in his hand. She slapped his arm and jumped to her feet, placing her hand on the hilt of her dagger.

"If you want to experience losing a limb," she hissed, "just touch me again."

"Reyna—"

She stuck the point of her knife under his chin. "I suggest you leave, you slimy little graecus."

Octavian jerked to his feet so fast, she would have thought his toga was on fire. "Maybe next time!" he yelled as he scrambled around the table, flying out of the hall.

"And keep your scrawny little podex out," she muttered.

O-o-O

Go Reyna!