Warnings: suicide attempt

Just some feelings I had to get out of my system. I'm sorry I used Merlin and Arthur for it. (and sorry for any spelling mistakes, but I could care less about them now).


The strange look his peers gave him, the air swooshing past his ears as he ran through the hallways, the stitch in his side, Arthur didn't care about it and ignored everything. He ran as fast as his own two legs could carry him through the hallways, waving through crowds of people, all because he wanted to be at his and his best friend's shared dorm room as soon as possible. His senses were heightened and the voice in his head that said that something was wrong becoming louder and louder.

He could just slap himself in the face. Why did he had to leave his dorm, why! He knew Merlin was having a rough time and was dealing with some heavy stuff; The death of his mother last month. It was like his life crumbled away from underneath him and he felt that he had no reason to go on anymore, even when Arthur and all his friends were trying their best to tell him otherwise and getting him at least out of the room. That failed miserably though. Merlin didn't want to go out, barely slept and he didn't smile anymore; the smile that was always etched onto his face and seemed to never falter was gone now and it broke Arthur completely.

Leon had texted him with the question to hang out and he tried to get Merlin to come with him, but as expected; Merin declined. Just waved him off and said to go and enjoy himself. Arthur didn't want to pressure Merlin into anything and with a heavy heart he left, promising to text Merlin soon enough.

But now, just five minutes ago, Arthur received the most worrisome text reply ever after he send the promised one to Merlin, to ask how he was doing.

Merlin sent back: I will be fine.

To anyone else, this text would seem like a totally normal reply, but to Arthur there was everything wrong to it.

Normally Merlin's reaction to almost everything was 'I'm fine' even if he wasn't, but now, now Arthur got I will be fine and those two extra words -will be- was enough to get on his feet faster than ever before and mumbling some incoherent words to his friends before leaving out of Leon's dorm in a frantic pace. His friends looking with some confused expressions on their face to the retreating form and soon enough following Arthur.

Arthur finally reached the right corridor after a sprint through two buildings, and already the words your too late were forming in his mind, but he shook his head. He couldn't be thinking that, not right now. It took him another 30 seconds to finally getting to the right door of his dorm, the door that kept so many memories, and it was almost enough to breathe a sigh of relief.

Turning the doorknob, he quickly found out that it was locked and he slammed his flat palm hard against it.

"Merlin!"

He banged a second time on the door, but still no reply. Arthur pressed his ear against the cold wood, but didn't hear anything. No breathing, no footsteps, complete silence. His hands were already fumbling inside his pockets in the search for the damn key and it took him a few times to retrieve the silver key out of his back pocket because he couldn't stop his hand from shaking so much. The tremor in his fingers prevented him from inserting the key in one try and he willed the tremors to stop and take a deep breath.

Calming down ever so slightly was enough to slide the key right in and the click that accompany the turn of the metal soon followed. Arthur all but fell into his dorm, just to find out that his room was almost pitch dark. The only source of light being the small lamp that sat on Merlin's study desk.

Arthur's eyes immediately fell on the empty container that he recognized as being the bottle of Merlin's painkillers and a white rectangular shape leaning against the lamp. It was an envelope, it said; Arthur.

"No." Arthur whispered and at that moment he could hear the water running and splattering on the tiled flooring in their shared bathroom. A few streaks of light coming from under the bathroom door and Arthur found himself within a second pulling and turning the doorknob, banging on the door when it didn't budge.

"Merlin!" Arthur screamed for the second time in a short while. "Merlin, open this goddamn door!" He yelled, but he knew it would be fruitless. He just knew in the back of his mind what Merlin had done, but he refused to believe it until he saw it with his own eyes and even then he would still not believe it. He started banging with his fist and kicking like a madmen against the wooden door until cracks started to form. Arthur remained at screaming out his frustrations, making his fellow students curiously peer inside his dorm. His friends trying to elbowing their way through the group of people that had formed around the entrance.

One final kick made the door fly open and water met him when he entered, the source of it being the tub that had overflowed. His eyes immediately found the dark clothed unmoving figure in the middle of the tub of water. His face down and unmoving. Arthur's breath hitched, tears sprang into the corners of his eyes and his feet were moving on their own to get to the tub in just a few strides. His arms grabbing and pulling out his best friend over the edge of the tub and falling down on the wet tiled floor with Merlin in his arms, not moving, not breathing and unresponsive.

"NO!" Arthur roared and gasps from just outside the door were vaguely registered by him. Just how he heard a few of his fellow peers frantically screaming into their phones for an ambulance. Arthur didn't spent a glance at them, just held the lithe figure tightly in his arms rocking him slightly as Merlin hung in his arms like a broken ragdoll. He couldn't be too late to save his friend, he just couldn't!

Finally his dazed mind started to work and then he remembered what he could do. As gently as he could, he laid Merlin down on the cold floor and started to pound on Merlin's chest. He kept on pounding, fist after fist all filled with frustration, sadness and sorrow. Every emotion floated to the surface and there was a slight shimmer of hope that it would be enough… but nothing happened. He was too late, Merlin was gone.

With a shout full of frustrations and angriness Arthur landed one final slam on Merlin's chest before he completely stopped and sprawled himself over his best friends torso, his arms blindly finding Merlin's head and he held on for his dear life. His tears fell freely, no matter how many onlookers had gathered in the meantime, he just didn't care about it. All he cared for was that Merlin, his friend, his companion, would take a deep breath or that he would feel that pulse beat again, but there was nothing... only complete silence and the the small sobs of Arthur filling the small room.

Until… a gurgling sound emerged from under Arthur.

THE END.