Toward the Terra Fanfic "Warmth"
AzureKate
Summary—
Jomy felt that he was robbed of some precious intimacies he could have had before taking up the title of Soldier and putting on a brave face. His inability to experience those intimacies always ate away at him, driving a deep regret into his soul. When he finally confided the cause of his sadness to Blue, Blue didn't respond with pity or apologies. Instead, he decided that one of the last things he could give Jomy ought to be some of the intimacies that Jomy desired.
Some cute fluffy intimacies for Valentine's Day! 3
Jomy was different now.
He was acting strange in recent times-significantly enough for most of his fellow Mus to take notice. Some tried to reach out to him, hoping to help him with whatever was so obviously bothering him. But Jomy was a stubborn soldier, insisting that nothing was wrong in hopes of keeping his personal problems from burdening his friends. But this only served to make the Mus worry more.
Though he'd been getting quieter and clearly more emotionally distraught, for a few days he'd been undeniably happy. Soldier Blue had gathered enough strength to wake up for a time-and nothing in the world could make Jomy happier. All the Mus took great joy in the occurrence; the older Mus were ecstatic that Blue was awake. The younger Mus, most of whom didn't know Blue well if at all, were at least pleased to see Jomy happy for a change.
Blue didn't get to see Jomy sad firsthand, but all of his other visitors made sure to let him know about the recent changes in Jomy's demeanor. Jomy had undoubtedly been trying to keep it from him, and of course having realized that the other Mus had revealed his secret to Blue, he was rather displeased.
On the third day that Blue had been awake, Jomy had decided to sit with him in the Blue Room, since Blue's energy was quickly draining and he would surely soon fall back into his deep comatose slumber. Jomy, hoping to keep Blue around longer, convinced him to take the third day off from doing anything around the ship, and just relax in the Blue Room for the day. Blue was a bit hesitant to accept, since he so wanted to be with everyone, but he agreed on one condition: that Jomy stay in the Blue Room with him. And Jomy had happily accepted, since he had longed to be alone with Blue for the years that he'd been asleep.
And so Jomy sat on the edge of the bed, where Blue was reclining comfortably on top of the covers. His head was leaned back against the pillows, his eyes closed and his face peaceful. Every few seconds, Jomy would fidget, and Blue would open his eyes and assure him he was still there, and Jomy would smile.
"You haven't told me anything about how you've been, since I've woken up," Blue pointed out quietly, the room peacefully silent aside from his own bell-like voice. Jomy stared at Blue's serene face, not the slightest bit self-conscious since Blue's eyes were closed. There was something different about Blue's face when he was awake-there was a different aura. Jomy craved it.
"There's not much to tell. It's been a peaceful few years," Jomy replied, messing with the blanket.
"But how have you been?"
"I've been fine. Happy enough. There are a lot of new, younger Mus joining us here on the Shangri La. Our numbers are steadily growing as we find new Mus in hiding. It's an amazing feeling to rescue them."
"Yes, I know the feeling," Blue said, a small smile touching his lips.
"You seem like you're getting really tired again, Blue," Jomy observed. Blue was speaking quieter than he had been in the few days since he was awake.
"I am getting a bit tired," Blue confessed. "But it's been so great to be awake, even if it was only for a few days. I missed everyone, and I missed you."
"I missed you, too," Jomy replied, a pang of sadness stabbing his heart. "I always miss you. At least you're asleep. I've been awake for years, just staring at you sleeping."
"That's a bit concerning," Blue joked, letting out a chuckle. Jomy laughed back.
"Can you hear me when I talk to you? I always come in here, every day. To make sure you aren't left behind in what's been happening."
"Yes, Jomy, I hear you. Of course I do. And hearing you talk to me is what makes being asleep not so bad. It's not as lonely as it was before I found you, when I was just starting to drift away."
Jomy recalled meeting Blue in person for the first time-he was already asleep, though he was still able to wake up when prompted. It wasn't until Jomy awakened as a type blue that Blue really fell into his coma. He wondered if anyone ever spoke to him before that, when he was just starting to get weaker.
"Jomy," Blue suddenly said, opening his eyes and sitting up to look at Jomy. "Physis and Leo have told me that you haven't been happy recently."
A wave of dread washed over Jomy. He didn't want to burden Blue with his personal problems on what was likely the last day he'd be awake for the next few years. Jomy was never good at hiding his feelings however, and Blue immediately picked up on his emotions simply by looking at his expressive face. Blue offered him a sad smile, and moved a bit closer.
"Tell me why," he pressed. Jomy was silent, avoiding eye contact. "I know you would tell me if I were sleeping. So why is it different if I'm awake?"
"I don't want you to worry about it. You're never awake. I don't want you to waste your time being awake worrying about me."
"It's impossible for me not to worry about you if I know you've been unhappy. Please, tell me. Maybe I can help. This will probably be the last night I'm awake, anyway. I'd rather spend it talking to you then socializing with the other Mus who don't even bother to visit me."
Jomy sighed. "I can't really explain why I'm sad. I just...I regret a lot of things, I guess."
"What do you have to regret?"
"Well, I regret not being able to save Shiroe. But, I don't think that's what is bothering me so much. The more I think about it, the more I regret my childhood."
"Your childhood?" Blue asked, sounding confused. "What do you have to regret about that?"
"I don't know…" Jomy was confused, and his head fell. Blue placed a hand on his shoulder. "It's embarrassing."
"Tell me."
"I just feel like...I've missed a lot. A lot of experiences and feelings that everyone else gets to have."
Blue seemed to understand, and didn't ask for what he meant.
"I was only 14 when you first brought me to the Shangri La. I missed so much. Becoming Soldier at 14 was stressful, and I feel like there's so much I can't do."
"What specifically? I bet there are some things that you still have a chance to experience."
"It's embarrassing, but I've always wanted to try kissing someone. That was the biggest thing, I think. I never had a first date, I never gave flowers to anyone I love. I missed so many chances for things like that, and not just things about love. I always kind of wanted kids, as well. Not so bad, but still."
"That's nothing to be embarrassed about. Why were you so nervous to tell me that?"
"Well, the last time I told another Mu about that, they just...I don't know, were pitiful. I don't appreciate pity. Why bother telling if that person can't help me?"
"I can help you," Blue said. Jomy was surprised, and met his gaze.
"What?"
"What do you mean what?" Blue asked. "I can help you with almost all of the things you've listed." He wrapped his arm around Jomy's shoulders, and Jomy blushed. He leaned in to Blue's embrace, and hugged him back with one arm.
"I don't think you could."
"I could," Blue insisted. He reached up with his free hand, and raised Jomy's head to meet his gaze. "I'm too weak to help our race with finding Terra, now. But I can absolutely help you with this. I'd use my last shred of strength to make you happy, Jomy."
"Blue," Jomy hesitated, trying to look away. But Blue wouldn't let him.
"I can give you those experiences, if you want them," he said softly. Jomy blushed harder. "But only if you want them. I'd rather not force anything on you."
"Blue, I"-Jomy choked on his words a bit. Blue smiled.
"Would you rather it was someone else? Maybe Physis?"
"No!" Jomy exclaimed, practically cutting off Blue's question. Blue smiled at him again-a genuine, clear smile, and it made Jomy's heart flutter.
"Is that you giving me permission?"
Jomy didn't say anything, he just stared in stunned silence. Taking it as permission, Blue leaned in, and kissed Jomy.
The kiss was soft and gentle, and a warm feeling rushed over Jomy-followed by a strong adrenaline. Blue was kissing him. Soldier Blue, the man that Jomy had idolized as not only his hero and savior, but as a person who was so pristinely perfect that they may as well have been a god. Jomy's fingers twitched, and he trembled with happiness.
Blue pulled away, and Jomy's smile was so huge that he could barely keep it on his face. He reached out and pulled Blue into a tight hug, holding him as though he feared he'd disappear. Thinking about how soon Blue would fall back into his coma from lack of strength, and from happiness at what had just happened, Jomy started to cry.
"Don't cry," Blue urged, hugging him back.
"I love you, Blue," Jomy sobbed, trembling in Blue's arms.
"I know," Blue claimed. "I love you, too."
"That was all I needed. I had no clue that I needed that."
"I'm not finished," Blue said. They pulled away from each other just enough to see each other's faces. "The rest of this night is a date."
"A date?" Jomy asked, staring in confusion. "How can I take you on a date? We're stuck on the Shangri La."
"That doesn't matter," Blue laughed. "This ship is big. There are plenty of places we can go."
"Everyone will see us."
"Please tell me that doesn't actually bother you."
Jomy blushed, and Blue laughed, hugging him tighter.
"I do think you'll have to help me walk, though," Blue mentioned, finally pulling away from Jomy, who was still sobbing lightly. "I am definitely getting close to falling back asleep."
"I can carry you if need be?" Jomy offered.
"Doesn't matter to me," he replied, still smiling. Jomy's heart was practically melting. "This will be my last night awake, and I expect it to be a night to remember."
"It will be!" Jomy exclaimed, jumping up from the bed. He took Blue's arm and helped him to stand, as well. "Where to first?"
Blue just smiled and leaned in to Jomy's support, letting Jomy help him walk toward the door of the Blue Room to head out into the ship on their date.
"When this is over, I'll be expecting those flowers," Blue joked.
But Jomy didn't take it as a joke. "You'll get one every night for the rest of my life," he said, completely serious about the statement. Blue seemed surprised, but didn't object.
And after an amazing night of traversing the massive Shangri La on their date, Jomy carried a weakened Blue back to the Blue Room. He laid him down in the bed, tucked him in comfortably, double checked it, and went to look at Blue to thank him for the most amazing night of his life. But when he looked up to thank him, Blue was gone. He'd fallen back asleep, likely to remain trapped in it for several more years before gathering the strength to awaken again. Jomy's lip trembled. He really couldn't stay awake at least long enough for Jomy to thank him for giving him everything he'd ever needed?
Jomy calmed his heartbreak, and took a deep breath. He checked Blue's blankets for the third time-if he was going to be asleep for years, it was important that he was as comfortable as possible. Jomy wiped away a tear, and tried to smile at Blue. "Thank you." And that night, he slept on Blue's bed, curled up beside him above the blankets.
He slept there every night from that night on, and every morning, Jomy would go to the Shangri La's garden, and pick the best flower. And every day after that, Jomy would place a flower on Blue's chest in the morning to keep their promise.
And never once did Jomy's love for Blue fade!
Happy Valentine's Day, 2017!
