Author's Note

So basically we all hate Mary Sues right? Unfortunately the PoT fandom is riddled with Suethors and their horrid creations; even worse than Inui Juice! Of course, we can't really blame these Suethors as they don't know what forms a Mary Sue. So that is what this fic is for!

Me: So what exactly is a Mary Sue? For all those new authors out there, be warned! They are the most horrible creatures ever to walk the PoT fandom. Today, I will be introducing you to a Mary Sue! Here is—

Chiyo: Hi! My name is Kobayashi Chiyo! Did you know Chiyo means 'a thousand sparkles'? It suits me, right? Anyways, I'm commonly known as the 'Princess of Tennis'! You know what? I can beat Yukimura 6 games to love in less than 5 minutes! I am the long lost half sister of Ryoma, I am distantly related to the Atobes and I transferred from a posh boarding school in America to Rikkaidai! Pleased to make your acquantaince 3

Me: Uh, hey…please make the introductions SHORT okay? I forgot to bring earplugs and I really don't want my ears to bleed…I'm too young to die!

Chiyo: Oh, pur-lease! Let me retell my tragic life story, complete with a 1 hour PowerPoint presentation because I am just that awesome, hey? Anyway I am the daughter of Nanjiroh Echizen and my mother, who is a cousin of the Atobes, was an international model for Guess, Gucci and, hmm…maybe 50 more! I am close friends with Taylor Swift 3~ I am to co-star in her new album!Yes, and my mum died in a tragic car accident when I was 8 and since my dad left us when I was born, I had to raise myself! Then somehow I met Ryoma in New York and we discovered we were half siblings and I moved to Japan! I attended Seigaku for a while, then St Rudolph, then Hyotei and now I'm at Rikkaidai! Oh yeah and did I mention I used to date Harry Styles? I dumped him though because…ugh, he's like, SO GAY! (A/N I don't mean any offence towards homosexuals, I'm trying my best to imitate a stereotypical ditzy Mary Sue; her opinions are in no way MINE!)

Me: Right…*ears bleeding already* SOMEBODY SAVE ME!

Ryoma: Hi…Ryuzaki-sensei made me come here to save you.

Me: Is she really your half sister?

Ryoma: Nope, never heard of her. Mada mada dane. I'm gonna get some Ponta now. Bye.

Me: *sweatdrop*

Chiyo continues, not noticing anything.

Chiyo: Right, where was i? Now, enough with the introductions! Let's get onto my appearance and personality! I'm 166cm tall, 34kg (yes I know I'm like super thin but I'm NOT anorexic) and I have lovely lush mahogany hair (it's my natural hair colour) but it changes colour every day of the week! Today I am sporting a gorgeous, bubbly light pink hairstyle~kinda like that girl from Kuroko no Basuke~ Momo-something? except I'm WAY prettier right? Yeah, and I have kaleidoscopic eyes like Piper McLean from Heroes of Olympus except ugh, her fashion sense is SO much worse than mine! Personality wise, I'm a tomboy! I love tennis; I've won 4 consecutive Grand Slams and the US Open, French Open, Wimbledon etc. etc. I can barely keep track! In my spare time I am a singer, model, dancer, actress, archer, fencer, sprinter, artist and I own my own Lamborghini AND a yacht! But I'm hardly spoilt~I love doing charity work! I save cute puppies, you see!

Me: RYOMA COME BACK DON'T LEAVE ME T.T

Sakuno: Ano…what's wrong?

Me: Oh thank goodness, a sane person!

Chiyo: Ugh, is that the Ryuzaki girl? Wow, you've not been listening to my fashion advice, have you? Those braids are RIDUNKULOUS! Yes, now continuing on to Part 2 of my biography! I crossdressed and became a regular at Seigaku. Tezuka TOTALLY fell for my feminine charm! As did Fuji 3 They ended up fighting over me. How romantic! But of course I broke BOTH of their hearts! Then I transferred to St Rudolph to stay away from all that drama. I met Fuji's GORGEOUS little brother, Yuuta, and we started dating and it was FABULOUS but then Mizuki started stalking me and he proclaimed his undying love for me. I nearly got killed by a mob of fangirls but he saved me! HOW ROMANTIC! IT'S A LOVE STORY 3~ But in order to not break any more hearts I aimed for a fresh start at Hyotei with my cousin Keigo. However that didn't last long as I was mistaken for his girlfriend, so yet again I had to transfer. Thank goodness I finally found peace at Rikkaidai~ooh, SO many hot guys THERE!

Me:…ANYBODY! HELP ME NOW! OR BETTER YET, KILL ME!

Atobe: Be awed by Ore-sama's superb killing skills!

Me: I was kidding about the kill me part!

Atobe: Ooooooh, how disappointing! Well then, be awed by my PROWESS!

Me: Go restrain your cousin already~

Chiyo: What are you talking about you insolent girl? Keigo, please don't listen to her! She's a horrible horrible person! She's just jealous of me!

Me: *facepalm* *tries to imitate Ryoma* mada mada dane

Chiyo: *GASP* The mean girl is bullying me! Save me, my princes!

The Seigaku regulars appear.

Me:….Yeah you can kill me actually

Tezuka: Don't let your guard down!

Me: Eh? How is that relevant?

Inui: Do you want to sample my deluxe Inui Juice?

Me: YES PLEASE! THEN I COULD DIE!

Chiyo: Yes go die already, you're ugly and I'm FAB and GLAM! As I was SAYING before you so rudely interrupted, I went to Rikkaidai! Immediately Marui Bunta fell in love with me because of my awesome world class cake baking and decorating skills! Isn't that RIGHT, Bunta?

The Rikkaidai regulars appear.

Marui: Yessir! Do I get more cake?

Me: (recovered from the juice) Ummm…areyoufrickingserious?

Chiyo: ANYWAYS I challenged Yukimura to a match and I absolutely crushed him! He too fell in love with me because of my amazing tennis skills! Isn't that RIGHT, Seiichi dear?

Me: *PRETENDS TO VOMIT* *grabs Yukimura's sleeve* Please tell me she's wrong! You're the PoT fandom's only hope!

Yukimura:….I'm sorry I have to say this; Chiyo's right…..

Chiyo: And we lived happily ever after~Take that! :D

Me:…I actually feel legit sick right now.

Chiyo: But that's not the end of it! It turns out all the guys who have fallen in love with me previously all still want me! So currently it's a battle for my love!

Me: So there you have it! Our model Mary Sue right there! *BEGINS CHOKING TO DEATH*

On my dying breath, I wish to make one last message to the PoT fandom. Please do not create Mary Sues or unprecedented death may occur! Let me be your martyr and uphold my legacy! Let's all move forward and vanquish the Mary Suedom! My spirit shall remain with you always! *COLLAPSES*

Chiyo: *Laughs maniacally in the background*