Disclaimer: I do not own anything but the story.
Selena's POV
I remember that day like it was yesterday. I knew she had to go at one point but I didn't think it would be so soon. We had a great night, we ordered pizza, watched our favourite movies, and cuddled all evening but I knew something was bothering her. I just couldn't put my finger on it. Around midnight, we went to bed. Everything was perfect, I was laying in her arms like every night. I felt her kiss the top of my head and then sigh. I asked her what was wrong but she just told me to not worry about it. I just let it go and fell asleep. Around 4am, I woke up and found out she wasn't sleeping and it didn't look like she slept at all.
''Babe, tell me what's going on. I'm getting really worried now.'' Demi wasn't the type of staying up, thinking about things. I heard her sigh and she sat up against the headboard. I turned on the lamp in my nightstand and sat up too. I looked at her in the eyes and I could see that something was bothering her.
She looked away. ''It's nothing, I just have to leave on tour next week.'' She said like it was nothing but I could feel my heart shattering in my chest. She was leaving and I had to stay here in our house alone. She knew I didn't like to be alone in my apartment and she said that like it was nothing. But to me, her leaving for I don't know how long isn't nothing. I need her around, I've never been away from her for more than 3 weeks. I didn't know how I could last months without her. I thought I knew her and that she would tell me like a month or two before she left but no, she waited until she had no choice but tell me because I would eventually notice that she was packing or that she just wasn't there anymore.
I didn't know what to say, I didn't know how to react. I just sat there completely froze, too shocked to do anything. I heard her sigh and I could see from the corner of my eyes that she ran her fingers through her hair. ''I'm sorry, I didn't know how to tell you…'' I can hear in her voice that she was sincere but it didn't mean it didn't hurt less. I was really mad at her that she lied to me all this time and sad that she had to leave so I just turned my back to her, turn off the lamp and just ignored her. I knew she wouldn't just leave me alone and that's when I felt her lay down next to me and wrap her arms around my waist from behind. I don't think she could've been closer than she was. I didn't push her away because no matter what, I loved her and I wanted to keep her close to me as long as I could. I felt her kiss the back of my neck and I couldn't fight the smile that made it's way on my face every time she kissed my neck like that. She didn't see it because it was too dark but I felt her smile against my neck. That's how I knew she knew I smiled. I could feel her hot breath on my neck and she knew that drove me crazy. I really wanted to jump on her and just make love to her but at that moment, I couldn't do that. It wasn't the right time and I knew it. I just sighed and put my hand on top of hers on my stomach. We both fell asleep pretty quickly but in the back or my mind, I always knew that no matter what I did, she would leave.
The day I never wanted to come was finally there. We were both at the airport. I was sitting at a table, waiting for her to come back with our coffees. She sat across from me and handed me my coffee. I smiled sadly, knowing it was the last time I saw her in person for months. That's the day I knew I was in love with her. We've been together for over a year but we never said the three magic words. Her ex really hurt her and she was really careful with her heart. It took her over 4 months to completely let me in and before we could have sex, it took 4 more months. We weren't living together but I was always at her apartment so it was like I lived there. I knew my feeling were strong but I didn't know how strong until that day. I had a feeling that I was gonna lose her and I didn't want that. I wanted her to be with me for the rest of my life and I knew I loved her.
She took a sip and smiled at me, ''What's on your mind Baby Girl?'' She told me as she took another sip. I could see she was really tired. Well, it was 6 am and we didn't really sleep the night before because… Well… I wanted to remember every part of her body, every sound she makes, every word she said. ''Babe?'' She asked me again.
I smiled. ''I was just thinking about you.'' She chuckles as I took a sip.
''What's so interesting in me that you have to get lost in your thoughts when we only have…'' She looked at her watch. ''15 minutes left before I leave?'' As she said the last few words, my smile dropped completely and I looked down. I heard her sigh. ''I'm sorry baby girl, I shouldn't have said that but you know it's gonna happen even if we don't talk about it…''
I took a sip of my coffee and sigh. ''I know but it doesn't mean I want to talk about it, I just want to enjoy the last minutes I have with you.'' She put her hand over mine. She was about to say something but that's when we heard what I never wanted to hear. We heard her flight being called for the last time.
I started to tear up as she gets up. ''Walk me to the gate please?'' She asked softly. She knew I would go anywhere with her just so we could spend more time together. I got up and took her hand in mine. She picked up her bag and her coffee. I throw away mine, I didn't want it anymore. We walked to the gate and stopped in front of it. She turned around to face me and smiled. ''Smile for me baby.'' As she said that, I couldn't help but smile. It wasn't a big smile but it was still there.
I sigh and hugged her tightly. 'I'll miss you… so much…'' I whispered against her neck as I let the tears fall. I couldn't hold them in anymore. Everything was so real but I just wish everything was just a dream.
She hugged me back tightly. ''I'll miss you more baby girl…'' She whispered back.
I let go of her after a minute and looked at her in the eyes. She wiped away my tears and kissed my nose. I pulled her closer and kiss her back passionately, putting all my love in that kiss. If I wasn't sure that I was falling in love with her, after that kiss, all the passion and love she put in it, I was sure that what I was feeling was love.
After we pulled away, she put her forehead against mine, looked at me in the eyes and smiled. Neither of us wanted to say goodbye. I think we both thought it was best if we didn't say it at all. At that moment, when I looked in her eyes, I knew what I had to say. ''I love you Demi,'' I say softly, hoping it wouldn't freak her out.
She just smiled at me, her eyes never leaving mine. ''I love you too baby girl.'' I don't think I ever felt so happy in my life. The girl I loved, loved me back. That's all I could ask for, I just wanted her to love me like I loved her. I was really happy until she pulled away. That's when I remember she had to leave. She pecked my lips one last time and walked away. She looked back at me and smile. Not long after, she disappeared behind the gate. I didn't need to say anything else, she loved me but she had to leave. At that point, after I told her I loved her and she left, I didn't know if I was happy or sad.
I told myself that it wasn't that bad, that we would see each other soon but it didn't work. At one point, I thought it would be easier it I tried to get over her, just try to live my life and forget about her but I couldn't do it. I loved her and I knew it would be easier from the beginning if I didn't fall in love with a rockstar but I couldn't help it. I loved her and I think I could never get over her.
She's all I was thinking about, I played back all our memories in my head every night. I was trying to think about the happy ones but every time I think about her, the day she left comes back in my head. I can't think of her without thinking about that day at the airport.
At first, I thought she was just going on a trip and she would come back soon. That's what I told myself to feel better but after a while, it finally sunk in, she was gone for months and there was nothing I could do about it. I felt a lot of things after I realized that, but I didn't want to miss her like that. It's not like we didn't talk. We texted a lot, she called me every night and we Skype once in a week. But I still missed her like crazy. I didn't want to lay in my bed, in my apartment, I wanted to be in her bed, with her holding me and whispering cute things that make me blush in my ear. I wanted her to come back but I knew it was selfish, it was her dream and I couldn't ask her to not leave. But no matter what, a part of me kept telling me to be selfish and beg her to come back home. I wanted her back around me all the time. I wanted to hear her laugh. I wanted to be the reason she smiled. I wanted my girlfriend around to tell me everything was gone be alright. Is it too much to ask?
One night, maybe two months after she left on tour, I say a magazine with her on the cover. I bought it of course and as soon as I got home, I sat on the couch and started reading it.
There was pictures of her and Mike, one of her band members, they were in Central Park. They were sitting in the grass and playing their guitars. I started to get jealous of Mike because he could hang out with her and I couldn't. I wanted to be the one to be who was sitting next to her, listening to her playing. I wanted her to try to convince me to let her teach me how to play. I wanted us to fight playfully until she was on top of me smirking because she knew she won. I wanted her to sit behind me, holding me close and try to teach me how to play until my fingers hurt. I wanted her to kiss my fingers softly to try to make me feel better.
I saw one picture that made me really jealous. It was still the two of them, hugging. I wanted to rip that guy's head. Why did he have the right to hug MY girlfriend while I was stuck here and I couldn't even have one single hug from her when he could have some whenever he wanted? It wasn't fair. I needed my girlfriend with me.
The last one was one of her getting in a cab. The guy didn't go with her and I was happy that he didn't. I don't know why I was so jealous of him but I had every right to. I haven't seen my girlfriend in two months. I wondered where the cab was taking her. It was pretty early in the day and she was at the park so I'm sure she didn't have a show that day. Was she going back to her hotel? Was she going to see someone else? Was she seeing someone else behind my back? I had to stop thinking about stuff like that or it would drive me crazy. The one thing I was sure of was that that stupid cab wasn't taking her back straight in my arms. that thought alone put my down even more than I was already was. I didn't want to feel like I need her that bad. I didn't want her to have that power over me, but I knew that I needed her. I didn't want to but I did need her or I would go crazy.
At that point, I just wished that she would've asked me to go with her. I would have dropped my job, my apartment everything to go with her. I knew she would've felt bad about it but I just wanted my Demi right now.
I remember when we first met. I knew she was beautiful and I knew I felt something when I heard her sing in the park. Of course, I knew who she was, it was Demi Lovato so I had to have at least heard one of her songs. She was sitting under a tree, playing her guitar. I sat on a bench and to listen to her. That's when she saw me. She smiled and got up with her guitar. She came sit next to me and took her sunglasses off. When she looked at me in the eyes, I felt butterflies in my stomach. Not because she was famous but because of the was she smiled and her beautiful eyes. That's what I loved the most about her, her smile and her eyes. I felt like this before but no as strong as what I felt when she looked at me that day. The butterflies in my stomach were going crazy when she introduced herself. I didn't know what to say or do. I was so nervous and I didn't know why. now I know that I had feelings for her even back then but that day at the park, I just thought I was nervous because she came to talk to me.
She gave me her number and told me to call her if I wanted to see her again. Of course I wanted to see her but I didn't want her to know about everything that was going on in my head. I just smiled and walked away. I know I shouldn't have done that because that one of the reasons why it took her so long to let me in. She thought I didn't care. Today I realize that if I acted like I was interested, our relationship would probably have started sooner.
It was 5 months after she left that I lost it. I couldn't stand it anymore. I needed her with me and I needed her now. She called me the night before to tell me she just landed in London. When she told me that, I felt even worse than I was before. When she was in New York, it wasn't that bad. She was a couple of hours from Los Angeles, in the same country but now she's halfway way across the world. There's an ocean between us and I couldn't stand it. That was too much. After she told me that, I hung up on her and locked myself in my room. I wouldn't answer her calls, I never texted her back and never took her Skype calls. I knew she was worried but I was too sad to talk to her.
About three days after I hung up on her, my best friend Jennifer came to my apartment. I didn't want to see anyone. I just wanted to be alone. I felt her sit on my bed. ''What's going on? Demi called me saying that you didn't answer her. She's really worried about you.'' She told me softly but it didn't help me feel better at all. I felt a little bad that she was worried about me but I was so mad that she left me here all alone that I didn't really care back then.
Jennifer ran her fingers through my hair and sighed. ''Come on, can you please tell me what's wrong?'' She said softly and that's when I completely lost it.
I sat up in bed and started to yell at her.''You wanna know what's wrong?! What's wrong is that I can't see my girlfriend! I can't touch my girlfriend! I can't even have her tell me she loves me in person! I can't stand it anymore! It's not fair that she's half way across the world and I'm stuck here all alone! I need her now but I can't and it's not fair! it's not fair that everyone can hug her, hang out with her or even just see her smile and I can't! I don't want to need her that way but I can't help it! I need her! I want her but I can't have her! Sometimes, I wish it would be easier! Sometimes I wish I didn't fall in love with a rockstar because that's just cruel! She's never here and I just can't stand it anymore! I'm falling in love with her even more each day and she's so far from me that I can't even talk to her without having her falling asleep on the phone! she's always tired so whenever we talk she fall asleep!'' By the time I finished yelling, I was crying hard. Jennifer just sat there shocked at my outburst.
She pulled me into a tight hug and I just cried in her chest. ''It's gonna be alright, she's gonna come home to you soon.''
When I finally calmed down, she let me go and smiled. ''You should call her, she's really worried.'' I sighed and grabbed my phone.
I decided to just send her a text.
Text Message From: Selena
'I'm fine, stop worrying.'
After I sent that, it didn't take her long to answer me
Text Message From : Demi
'OMG don't ever scare me like that again! You can't hang up on me like that and not answer me for days!'
I knew she was mad but I didn't understand why. Yes, she was worried but I'm the one who should be mad. She left me here all alone. I decided that it could wait and I would answer her later.
Not long after that, Jennifer told me she had to go to work. After she left, I put the blankets back over me and just didn't move.
So here I am today, laying on my bed. It's been two days since Jennifer came to see me and I still didn't move from my bed. I don't feel like eating or going I did was sleep or cry. I just want her but I know that won't happen anytime soon. She texts me a lot but I don't feel like answering her.
I hear the door open downstairs but I'm sure it's just Jennifer coming to see if I'm still okay. I sigh and put the blankets over my head. I don't want to see anyone, I just wanna be alone in my room. Why don't anyone understand that?
I hear my room door open and I can see through the blankets that someone turned the lights on.
''Baby? Are you okay?'' Great, now I'm hearing voices… I can hear her talk and that hurts even more. ''Selly? Please baby, answer me…''
I feel the bed dip a little. Wait, does that means she's really here? I sit up quickly and take the blankets off me. She's really sitting on my bed. She's really here. I don't know if I should be happy or pissed but I guess my head chose to be happy because I jump on her and hug her tightly. I start crying in her neck and I hear her whisper in my ear. ''It's fine baby girl, I'm here now. I'm all yours for the whole weekend. ''
I don't think I've ever been so happy in my life. I knew she had to leave again but if I could have a weekend alone with her then I'll take it.
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