Okay, I've had this idea for a while, and it was written I believe the day before Thanksgiving. Of course, it was late when I wrote this, so I decided to hold off until I thought more people were online to read it. That being said, I don't own Bleach or anything else mentioned in here. So, enjoy!

It was just another day for Ichigo. There was homework here, a Hollow or two there, and of course, that goat-faced idiot he was unfortunate enough to call a father.

So what does a young Substitute Shinigami do at the end of the day? Simple. He logs on to MSN and chats with his friends. Maybe Mizuiro would be on bragging about his new girlfriend. Hell, maybe he'd discover that Keigo actually managed to get a girl to talk to him for more than five seconds. Yes, it was cruel to think of Keigo like that, but, come on, what are his chances?

When Ichigo logged on, he saw that he had an invite to a chat from a Captain13. Ichigo figured this guy was either superstitious, a sailor, or even both. But hey, sailors tell good stories, so Ichigo accepted in the hopes of hearing one.

Captain13 says:

Ichigo, is that you?

Strawberry15 says:

Yeah, who's this?

Captain13 says:

It's Captain Ukitake! Hello!

Strawberry15 says:

WTF?! How did you get my screen name?! And how do you have Internet access?!

Captain13 says:

Blame Rukia and the Twelfth Division respectively.

Strawberry15 says:

I am SO going to kill that midget! And that's really not a straight answer.

Captain 13 says:

Byakuya would kill you before you'd kill Rukia. The man is fierce when it comes to his sister. And to put it simply, Seireitei uses spirit particles like you humans use electricity.

Strawberry15 says:

Good point. I'll just rip up all her Chappy drawings. And that's a much clearer explanation. Thank you.

Captain13 says:

Then she'll be the one to kill you. And you're welcome.

Strawberry15 says:

It'll be worth it. Hey, not that I don't enjoy talking to you, but can I add my friends?

Captain13 says:

Of course! The more, the merrier! I'll add some of the other Shinigami.

+ Hime Hearts Tatsuki has been added to this conversation.

+ Captain10 has been added to this conversation.

+ Big Bad Chad has been added to this conversation.

+ Karate Chick has been added to this conversation.

+ Lieutenant06 has been added to this conversation.

+ Lieutenant10 has been added to this conversation.

+ Captain06 has been added to this conversation.

Lieutenant06 says:

Ichigo! You finally made it!

Strawberry15 says:

Hey, guys!

Karate Chick says:

So these are your Shinigami friends, Ichigo and Orihime?

Hime Hearts Tatsuki says:

Yup! I mean, we're a legitimate couple, aren't we? You deserve to meet my friends!

Captain06 says:

Karate Chick, who invited you to this chatroom?

Captain10 says:

Me. Orihime wouldn't stop talking about her. It's annoying as holy hell!

Captain06 says:

Then why is she here?

Lieutenant10 says:

Because Orihime promised she and Tatsuki would make out in front of him if he invited her.

Karate Chick says:

Orihime, you didn't!

Hime Hearts Tatsuki says:

WTF?! Of course not! Rangiku!

Lieutenant10 says:

Geez, learn to take a joke, you crazy lovebirds. ;P

Lieutenant06 says:

Though now that you mention it, that would be pretty sweet.

Lieutenant10 says:

LOL.

Captain06 says:

Renji, don't be a pervert.

Lieutenant06 says:

I'm just kidding! Dammit, Captain, take the stick out your ass for once!

Captain13 says:

Everyone, let's all introduce ourselves for Tatsuki's sake. I'll start. Thirteenth Division Captain, Jushiro Ukitake.

Captain06 says:

Sixth Division Captain, Byakuya Kuchiki.

Captain10 says:

Tenth Division Captain, Toshito Hitsugaya.

Captain10 says:

*Toshiro

Karate Chick says:

Toshiro, I know you, Renji, and Rangiku from before, so you don't have to introduce yourselves. And Orihime, change your profile pic.

Hime Hearts Tatsuki says:

Why?

Karate Chick says:

Your breasts are halfway exposed!

Hime Hearts Tatsuki says:

Rangiku said it looks all right.

Captain10 says:

And yet another piece of the puzzle falls into place.

Big Bad Chad says:

Tatsuki's right, Orihime. Children use this program, after all.

Captain10 says:

What do you mean by that, Sado? Is that some kind of crack?! And Tatsuki, it's Captain Hitsugaya to you!

Big Bad Chad says:

Crack? Is that a reference to my people?!

Lieutenant06 says:

You mean the Mexicans?

Captain06 says:

No, Renji, he means the tall people.

Captain06 says:

Idiot.

Captain13 says:

Uh, so! Team Edward or Team Jacob?

Strawberry15 says:

I didn't know you liked Twilight.

Captain13 says:

Well, Rukia gave me a copy of the first book, and I have to say, it was a fascinating take on vampires.

Captain13 says:

Anyway, I'm Team Edward. It's obvious he and Bella are truly in love, and I think that's inspiring.

Captain06 says:

I read the whole series at Rukia's request, and I did not like what I read. But if I had to choose, I would say Team Jacob. Bella jumped off a cliff because she thought she heard Edward's voice. And who saved her? Jacob, not Edward!

Captain13 says:

That's what I'm getting at! Bella loves Edward enough to put her own life in danger!

Lieutenant06 says:

I'm Team Bella.

Captain06 says:

Why? She's a blatant Mary-Sue.

Lieutenant06 says:

Yeah, but she's hot.

Lieutenant10 says:

LOL.

Captain06 says:

See? Mary-Sue.

Captain13 says:

I would think there's a very fine line between Mary-Sues and main characters, Byakuya.

+ Lieutenant05 has been added to this conversation.

Lieutenant05 says:

Hi, Shiro-chan!

Captain10 says:

Hello, Bed Wetter.

Captain13 says:

Ah, young love.

Lieutenant05 says:

I'm Team Edward.

Captain10 says:

Why? He doesn't remind you of Aizen, does he?

Lieutenant05 says:

NO!

Captain06 says:

What if he did, Toshiro? Would you kill Robert Patterson?

Lieutenant06 says:

LMAO.

Captain10 says:

Maybe.

Captain06 says:

You know that was a joke, right?

Captain10 says:

*sadistic grin* I'm afraid I didn't get the memo.

Lieutenant10 says:

Captain, you're starting to scare me a bit.

Captain10 says:

Good. Do your paperwork or you'll be my first victim.

Lieutenant10 says:

Meep!

X Lieutenant10 has left the conversation.

Strawberry15 says:

Good job, Toshiro!

Captain10 says:

Thank you.

Karate Chick says:

I don't think Ichigo meant that as a compliment, Toshiro.

Captain10 says:

I don't care. And it's Captain Hitsugaya.

Hime Hearts Tatsuki says:

I wonder what happened to Momo?

Lieutenant05 says:

EDWARD DOES NOT REMIND ME OF CAPTAIN AIZEN!!!

Big Bad Chad says:

Hable del Diablo.

Strawberry15 says:

What's that?

Hime Hearts Tatsuki says:

It means "Speak of the Devil."

Karate Chick says:

WTF?! How did you know that?!

Hime Hearts Tatsuki says:

I picked it up in Hueco Mundo. Yammy used to say it all the time.

Karate Chick says:

Ooookaaaaaay…

Captain06 says:

Renji, I'm expecting an e-mail from Captain Soi Fon today, so I'll need your help bringing up my e-mail.

Lieutenant06 says:

Yes, sir!

Strawberry15 says:

Wait, you can use MSN, but you can't check your e-mail?!

Captain06 says:

…Yes… *hangs head in shame*

Lieutenant06 says:

I don't mind helping. In fact, I like to think of it as Captain/Lieutenant Bonding Time.

Lieutenant05:

Not to be confused with Captain/Lieutenant Bondage Time, right?

Captain06 says:

?!

Lieutenant06 says:

WTF?!?!

Captain13 says:

That would explain all the BDSM gear we found in Aizen's office.

Lieutenant05 says:

What? You guys don't have Captain/Lieutenant Bondage Time?

Lieutenant06 says:

WTF?! NO!!!

Lieutenant05 says:

DAMMIT, AIZEN!!! YOU LIED TO ME ABOUT CAPTAIN/LIEUTENANT BONDAGE TIME!!!

Captain10 says:

AIZEN!!!

X Captain10 has left the conversation.

Captain13 says:

CODE WHITE!!!

X Captain13 has left the conversation.

X Captain06 has left the conversation.

X Lieutenant06 has left the conversation.

X Lieutenant05 has left the conversation.

Strawberry15 says:

What the hell was that all about?

Karate Chick says:

They're your friends. You tell me.

Big Bad Chad says:

g2g. I'm practicing with my band later.

Strawberry15 says:

I gotta leave too. There's a patient at the clinic, and Dad needs my help.

Karate Chick says:

Okay, see you at school.

Hime Hearts Tatsuki says:

Bye, Ichigo! Bye, Chad!

X Strawberry15 has left the conversation.

X Big Bad Chad has left the conversation.

Hime Hearts Tatsuki says:

Well, we're all alone.

Karate Chick says:

Yup.

Hime Hearts Tatsuki says:

Wanna cyber?

Karate Chick says:

No. I'll just come over and we can do the real thing.

Hime Hearts Tatsuki says:

Can't wait, babe!

X Hime Hearts Tatsuki has left the conversation.

X Karate Chick has left the conversation.

Just for the record, IO don't like Twilight at all. My knowledge on the subject is pretty much what ilovemybishies87 on deviantArt posts.