My dearest John Watson.
It pains me that I will not be able to tell you this in person. You do deserve that respect. Sadly I am not capable of this at the moment. I hope this letter will at least serve as an explanation.
I remember vividly the night you told me you loved me and I told you the same. We might have gotten just one glass too many.
I agree. It was the best thing that could have happened to us. We had a good run, didn't we? You knew just how to make me smile. I do like to believe you were the most romantic man I ever met. Thank you. Thank you so much for the time you offered me. I know your time is sparse. What with Sherlock Holmes to run after all the time.
But I knew that from the start. Didn't I? You and him against the rest of the world. And me on the side trying to hold on to what we used to have. Clinging to the seconds you'd come home to me when he was going on in circles about his cases or his other needs or whatever would be going in that curly head of his. You knew my flat was always open to you; I always, always kept a warm spot for you in my bed. For when you needed a break from him.
I don't want you to think I am angry with you because I'm not. I promise you I am not. I understand. I completely understand. I shouldn't have thought I could ever get between the two of you. I knew I was setting myself up for this. And here we are. Hardly a surprise right?
I bet you said the same to the other women. Didn't you? That because I was different it would work out this time. I believed you. I actually thought I was special for a while. But who can really measure up to a man like him? He's fantastic isn't he? I mean it. So intelligent, talented, funny, sarcastic… he is an annoying git, but that's what makes him so wonderful isn't it?
You never stopped telling me about him. I think you told me more than what you wrote in your world famous blog. All the stories that hardly seemed true if I didn't know better. Everything is possible with Sherlock Holmes and John Watson! Who else could solve a murder from the angle a vase was knocked over? Fantastic!
That glimmer in your eyes. The adrenaline pumping through your veins when you came home to me after a case. I wish I could come close to being that for you. But how could I?
But John, my dear John who could blame you? It is so easy to be trapped by a man like that; the thrill of the endless chase. Lately all I have been capable of with you is keeping you talking about him. I disappeared with you. But it's all right John. It's fine! I just can't do it anymore.
I will always feel the same for you; I will never forget you I promise you that. In fact I am sure we can still run into each other once in a while. No hard feelings. I just can't keep my door open any more.
John what I'm really trying to say is… there is someone else. Now we both have someone else. So it's all fine now. Yes? Please dearest John tell me it is. You have your Sherlock Holmes and I have mine.
I am happy. I hope that means something to you. In fact I know it does.
He is fantastic. He notices me. He sees me. He is incredibly intelligent. Clever. Handsome he is too. It is very affirming. He can tell me things about myself I hardly even knew. He has come to mean the world to me.
I think you know him well. I used to know everything about him before I met him so you really made it easy for me. Thank you John. I can never repay you for this. This really is the best thing that could have happened to me.
I probably have told you too much. I have probably babbled on for too long. Do you remember I used to do that; back when we actually had two way conversations? You couldn't shut me up! If my mother knew I had found a man who could have me sit there and just listen to him for hours going on about his adventures with the man in his life she would pin a medal on you!
I hope you read this. My love. Please don't make it awkward if we meet. Please try to understand. We can share him. Can't we? Maybe one day we can laugh about this. Share our stories about our encounters with the world's only consulting detective?
Lots of love. Always Yours.
