A/N: Based on the song Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off by Panic! At The Disco. Rated M due to language and sexual references.
Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter
It was rather ironic when Sirius thought about it, after sorting through all his anger that is. After all it was well known that Sirius Black was a heart-breaker, a new date every week.
Marlene had been different, though.
One thing Sirius had never understood was James' infinite love of Lily… that was until he saw Marlene at the beginning of this year. Of course, all her friends had warned her against it, told her to say no, that it was inevitable he was going to break her heart.
Right, if only they fucking knew Sirius thought bitterly.
No one had guessed it would be the other way around, that it'd be Sirius who'd get his heart broken. That Marlene would be the one doing the heart breaking and that included Sirius himself.
It had been a shock to say the least to see Marlene with another guy, in his bed.
Marlene had said that she couldn't watch the Quidditch Match due to studies and Sirius had believed her, he now knew how stupid that was. The game was over quickly and Sirius had wanted to put some things away in his room first, so with James and Remus (Peter was somewhere) he'd entered the dorm.
To find Marlene in bed with another guy. Another guy who wasn't him.
That'd been the talk for days how sweet innocent Marlene McKinnion had broken the notorious Sirius Black's heart.
Sirius wondered if it made him a bad person if he sort of hoped Marlene still thought of him while she slept with other people, and he hoped to Merlin her indecency had been worth it. At least, for her.
Understanding a situation is almost as hard as accepting it. Sirius couldn't understand why she'd done it in the first place. Sirius knew he was arrogant and egotistical but he was honest, it wasn't exactly a lie when he said he was good looking; and that's not even all he had going for him.
After all, he had his wit and even if he said so himself he was damn good in bed. Actually being as big headed as he was Sirius liked to say that he was probably better than anyone else in Hogwarts and Marlene was lucky to have had him.
But that was only after the break up, only to make himself feel better. There was no truth in it, none at all apart from the fact that Marlene had at one point been his girlfriend but hadn't bothered to look past what was right in front of her.
She hadn't bothered to look past anything more than the guy being an easy fuck. At one point, Sirius himself may have done the same, but things weren't like that anymore. He'd really liked Marlene, and had actually tried to make a conscious effort to be better.
It was okay though, his self-arrogance had reached a point where he wasn't 100% sure he was faking anymore, maybe a little bit sure but he knew he was a good fuck, had been told so several times.
That was why he was safe in the knowledge that no matter how many people Marlene went to bed with she'd still remember him. He'd be the omnipresent being, there only in her mind but still there.
Teens were many things in Sirius' experience. Often stupid, most were lazy, procrastinated far too much but one thing that most teens Sirius knew, including himself, was horny.
Horny and too easy to trust apparently.
Maybe it had been the adrenaline rush, the thrill of falling in love, the gullible nature of the metaphorical heart meant that it was easy (and, Merlin he'd been hanging around Remus for too long).
The faster the heart beats the more excited it is but it could also be petrified, too scared of being broken like now for example.
Marlene didn't have this problem, well it was highly unlikely after all she needed that heart beat to be faster, more exciting she wouldn't be in pain not matter how much he wanted her to be.
Boys had too much testosterone and, in Sirius' case, girls (read as Marlene) were too much to resist.
Her flashy smile, those beautiful eyes on that perfect face framed by hair that was fell in waves around her face when it wasn't up in a beautifully simple bun.
Every movement she took was a dance, a dance that never fully ended but nor did it really ever have a beginning and the beat changed. Oh, did the beat change frequently but the dance never faltered, it never ceased, it got dark the plot turned ugly, but the dancer herself never did. In fact she just got more beautiful, and wasn't that just irritating?
Sirius was mad at her, not just mad angrier than a mother dragon but that didn't mean he hated her.
He wanted to, sure because then that would make things easier, it wouldn't hurt as much. They'd go back to being to separate people no longer on the same plane of existence but that wasn't so. Her presence was so close it was overwhelming. Their planes were on top of each other but at the same time eons apart.
Night was always the worst in Sirius' case, whilst Marlene went to bed holding a different lover every week, he held no one. Wanted no one to fill the Marlene shaped gap.
For the feeling of love was not easily displace even by the fires of hatred as love could easily quell it.
Now here she was, and the us was tangible nearby.
No, it must remain far in the distant he wouldn't bend to Marlene's every will just because she wanted him too, just because she was standing right in front of him with those puppy dog eyes.
Focus, you fool, right, that'd be a plan.
Thoughts did, after all, have a tendency to get derailed but he had to harden his heart, remember all the pain the person in front of him had caused, how he Sirius Black had cried like a baby, broken down in front of his friends.
So, no, the answer was no, he supposed it would have always been no it was inevitable. Not that Marlene would come back- that was never expected but Sirius knew that to although he'd never fully get over her, not completely he could maybe now move on.
Marlene might want to pick up where they left off but Sirius no longer trusted her, he couldn't pick it up again.
After all, when something's shatter so completely it's hardly possible to put all the pieces together again but it's even less likely to pick it up without allowing something to slip through your fingertips.
Marlene would not give up. She'd rarely been turned down before and Sirius supposed it must be shock and it mustn't be settling in yet.
Except now it finally was, it was obvious in the way she stared at him with those big eyes of hers, and her face twisted in a pinched sick looking way.
Wow, who knew shock could do that.
Wait, now it looked as though she was about to cry. He hoped not, that would be it, he's incredibly weak resistance would break and he'd just be in the same situation again, and again, and again. A never ending vicious circle.
But he couldn't let Marlene have all the attention now could he, after all Sirius was a known attention whore. He thrived in it. If attention wasn't on him, it was on the latest scandal which usually involved him in some way but no this time neither Marlene nor Sirius could be selfish.
Nope not this time, he wouldn't let her have the satisfaction, he wanted the last laugh (but he knew he'd never have that- love may be corruptible but, Merlin, does it feel infallible)
Besides this new attitude of his was about to reach its climax- couldn't let Marlene have all the fun, now, could he?
His new resolve had broken- hardly surprising- Sirius never could last long against a pretty girl with wicked wit.
That didn't mean he meant for it to end like this, with her back in his bed and him holding her close, sacredly as though she were made of glass, like a lover.
