"But there is greater comfort in the substance of silence than in the answer to a question."
― Thomas Merton
As everything fell apart around her, all she could do was stand and watch, watch as the meagre progress they had made crumbled to the ground in a magnificent fashion. Sat with her hand clasped around that of the dishevelled, anxious and drained figure of Mr Jarvis, she wondered if he knew that this intimate show of support was not entirely for him. She needed him too, because right now three people who had devoted so much to their cause, to her cause, were lost in their own battles. Battles she had willingly led them to, her words of optimism lacing the air and beckoning them to sacrifice so much. She was truly a despicable human being, and it was at times like this she was reminded how everything, everyone she touched spoiled so brutally. She held the power of destruction so readily; it's control so strong that she herself could not contain its effects.
A silence of understanding hung between her and Jarvis, the kind that was only forged through long term acquaintance and a friendship that ran deeper than most. Now was not the time for words and phrases of comfort that he had already heard so much of, quiet understanding was something both could do with ease, whilst recognising the care and affection it was bestowed with. Whilst the hustle and bustle of the hospital around them continued to drone on, the varying voices and footsteps echoing within the empty and clinical setting they occupied. They sat.
Despite the prize winning concealment of any concerns or anxieties she felt, the facade was clearly not as well constructed as she once thought. The erratic flicker of her gaze, the slight twitch in her legs and the arbitrary tightening in her grasp indicated that the current situation had affected her. Understandably Peggy had not divulged the newest details regarding Chief Sousa to Jarvis, knowing that his concerns currently lay most importantly with his wife and to add to his distress would be a callous indictment on her part.
With Wilkes taken god knows where, held within the grasp of a woman teetering gleefully on the brink of insanity and wicked genius, it was no wonder that her mind was unsettled. Whilst presently in the building they occupied a treasured friend's loved one was fighting for her life, a situation she felt she'd let happen far too easily. She knew it had been a trap, but foolishly she had not seen that the trap had been laid in an entirely different direction. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Now she had found that the one person she relied upon, whose constant presence was something she had become far too accustomed to, had also fallen victim to the mess she had composed so effortlessly. She had already ruined so much for him, had dashed away so many future prospects, dirtying his name in a manner that had put his career on the line numerous times. He believed in her so much, trusted her so much and this had been how she had repaid him... God she was a monster.
"Call him Miss Carter, don't... don't waste your time with me." The helplessness and fatigue was clear in her dear friend's voice, the precise and confident nature it usually yielded in her native inflection was long gone. His unusually dishevelled tresses framed a creased brow of concern, whilst his eyes seemed sunken and lost; this was far from the vivacious and valiant man she usually saw. Tilting her head to address him she slowly shook her head in disagreement at his statement, her tone gentle with care,
"Nonsense Mr Jarvis, I'm where I'm needed and that's the most important thing... and I have." His brow quirked in an enquiring manner, intrigued by the details of her contact with the Chief, whilst also questioning why she had not told him already. To follow his expression he asked,
"And..?" A small smile teased the corner of her lips, as she softly replied with a lie she intended to keep for the mean time,
"He's okay." It seemed however it was to no avail, as her brother had been able to before him; Jarvis immediately sensed the fib that had formed with such ease. Clearly the close bond they had forged had diminished the effectiveness of her ability to deceive, something that she had become rather adept at. Jarvis however saw through her veil of intent,
"Are you quite certain of that?" Her lips pursed in a moment of contemplation, because in all honesty she did not think that her false pretence had been so feeble, although the question thrown her way indicated it had been. Looking upon the face of her troubled companion, the fear of a future without the one he loved clear in his eyes, every crease of concern in his face more prominent than ever before, she knew she could not put anymore on him. So with an easy smile that was decidedly more certain than the one before, she stated confidently,
"He'll be okay." If Jarvis was convinced he did not show it however the slight quirk of his lips that may have been a half-hearted effort at a smile, and the silence that followed suit did not confirm he believed it either. The accompaniment of a slight squeeze from his hand nevertheless indicated that he recognised she needed some support too, needed someone to pull her from the wreckage of the present. The intention of her remark was to save her friend from further worry, but in all honestly she had hoped it would also ease her anxiety over where on earth Daniel was. Was he okay or had they taken it upon themselves to beat some answers out of him? Answers she was sure he would hold onto until the end, because he was good like that, so good, too good if she was brutally honest. Forcing down the apprehension that threatened to consume her, its talons reaching up from her gut and creeping around her neck, she stoked her thumb along the side of her friend's hand. She would be there for him, as he had always been there for her, as a commotion of nurses traipsed hurriedly towards the operating theatre where Ana was situated. Whatever the case, they had each other for now and that was something.
