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The drive to Missoula was a little over two hours, and it was already early evening. Tasha and I needed to get going in order to make it to the mall before they closed with some time to shop. I was looking forward to spending some time with Tasha, as it had been a while since we'd seen each other, but I also needed the distraction from Rose.
Every time I thought I knew her, her reactions, her movements, her thoughts, she surprised me. Rose's comments on Tasha's marred beauty provided yet another unnecessary reminder of her surprising maturity. Everything she'd endured during her short life had worked toward preparing her for life as Lisa's guardian- a future she and I shared. And that was the dilemma I faced now; Rose's very being, what made her so perfect for Lisa's guardian, perfect for being an excellent guardian for anyone, made her someone who seemed to understand me on a profound level that made it difficult for me to focus on work around her. I thanked God that she was unaware of the struggle I went through every day around her as well as when alone. I constantly battled with myself to stay away from her.
"Dimka!" Tasha's voice, higher than the one I was thinking about, but still pleasant, came from a close distance, and I looked up from my boots to see her in jeans and a thick, creamy sweater flecked with brown. It accentuated her pale skin and dark hair in a flattering way, and I tried my best to push thoughts of Rose (very difficult) from my mind. "I don't think I've ever been able to sneak up on you. Something must be really on your mind. What's up?"
I smiled at her, returning the grin she gave me, and dismissed her worries with a quick, "Nothing, just thinking about Art." Her smile fell slightly, and she nodded.
"It's a tragedy, but Dimka, there is nothing you could have done. If you'd gotten there earlier, you might have been among them." She touched my arm and looked up at me. "I know Arthur was your friend. I'm so sorry."
Looking down at her, I smiled, and it came easily to me. "It's alright. Let's get moving. We have to get there by seven if you want any decent amount of time, and the lines will be awful this time of year." She laughed in agreement, walking with me to the Pilot I'd secured again for our use. I got in the driver's side, Tasha in the passenger's, and started the car. The engine warmed up for a minute while we talked.
"I like Lisa," Tasha commented. "She's good for Christian." We'd been discussing Christian's past behavior and the new, softer side of him exposed by Lisa. "And they really seem to be in love." There was a wistfulness to her voice, and I looked at her to see a trace of loneliness to her face.
"They are good for each other," I agreed. "It's strange how love changes people."
"I wonder if Rose and Mason will start dating." The abrupt change in topic, though probably natural, considering Rose and Lisa's best friend status, brought everything going on outside the car- the real world- crashing down around me again.
"What?" I demanded, voice unintentionally sharp. Tasha blinked.
"Mason. And Rose. Mason obviously likes her. I think they might date soon." She smiled at me, oblivious to the thunder of my pulse in my ears. I don't think she even realized I was upset. "In any case, something is definitely going on there." My fingers tightened on the steering wheel, and I felt my jaw clench. I was debating whether punching my fist through the driver's side window would be acceptable. It was difficult to control the impulse, and I counted with my breath to calm myself.
"Rose should be focusing on her lessons, especially after spending all this time catching up."
"Everyone needs a little love, Dimka," Tasha's gaze turned searching, and I was reminded of how her life had been since Christian's parents has turned Strigoi.
I pulled out of the school. This was going to be a long drive.
Once we'd reached Missoula, I'd cheered considerably. Rose had successfully been driven from my mind by Tasha's stories, though if I paused for a moment, her face appeared before my eyes, sometimes accompanied by unpleasant flashes of Mason touching her- her face, her body, her hair. God, I loved her hair.
"-And then he spilled the wine down his front and passed out of his chair!" Tasha exclaimed, wiping tears from her eyes with laughter. I loved how cheerful she was. " The rest of the party just stared at him. They had no idea how to respond to that. I don't know if anyone accepted his party invitations for months!" She laughed, and I laughed as well. The idea of Alexander Kasnoff getting drunk and fainting at his own party was amusing in the extreme. That if provided Tasha with amusement in a world that typically shunned her as an outcast, putting her on the opposite end of the joke for once, made me even happier. She deserved nothing but the best.
We wandered through the shops at the mall, Tasha excitedly pointing at various articles of clothing, purchasing a couple items for herself. I paid careful attention to her as well as to the surrounding people. Nothing seemed to pose a threat, but I remained alert and wary, watching for any sign of hostility.
We went through the stores in a flurry, Tasha selecting gifts for the few people in her life.
"It's a good thing I came with a gift for you," she told me as she held up a dark sweater in Christian's size, debating whether he would wear it or not. She'd already picked out a pretty pale blue top for Lisa and a pair of nice gloves, leather and sturdy, for Guardian Hathaway. "I don't think he would like this," she finally decided aloud, putting it back. In the end, she purchased a book for him on physical defense and a shirt I thought he might wear. We laughed, discussing the experiences she'd been through since I'd last seen her. Tasha told me of her various students in martial arts, the stories of how they'd embarrassed themselves and said the most amusing things. Tasha was one of those people who, even when laughing at you, didn't offend easily. The pride in her eyes when she spoke of her students' accomplishments was evident, and I smiled brightly at her happiness.
"It might not be life-changing, but-"
"It is, Tasha. You have no idea." She glanced at me before spying something in a store and pulling me to a dead halt. I spared the store she was staring into a moment of my time during my scan.
"Oh. My. God." Her voice was stunned.
"What is it?" I asked, peering into the store searchingly.
"It's perfect!" she exclaimed, dashing in as though whatever item she was looking at would disappear if she waited an instant before claiming it.
The store was a high-fashion clothing store, usually pricing their items at no lower than a hundred dollars. High-end clothing was outside my comfort zone, but I followed Tasha in and kept an eye out for any trouble.
Tasha was holding a dress that stopped me in my tracks for several reasons. One: it was beautiful. The dress was red silk, embroidered in flowers. It was Asian-style, lines and cut hinting at a kimono-like origin, with a high neckline and lower hemline. The material looked like it would be skintight, and dead-sexy on the right woman. Two: I knew who Tasha had in mind for the dress.
"Don't you think Rose would look gorgeous in this?" she asked me, holding it up and flipping it to face me. I didn't answer, my throat completely closed as I envisioned Rose in the dress, and even more- what she would look like if I ripped if off her as I had when Victor had tried to distract us with a lust charm. "It's so her, especially the color." Tasha lay it over her arm and moved to the cash register.
I found my voice with difficulty. "That's a nice gift," I commented.
"Rose deserves something nice. I think she's going through a rough time, trying to catch up with her friends and dealing with Lisa's issues." I was surprised that she new about Lisa, no one else knew, but didn't comment.
We left the store, Tasha's fingers clenched on my arm and smiling mischievously at me. "This has been fun. We should do it again, sometime." I smiled down at her, teasing.
"But I've had the worst time. I'd much rather stay on duty."
"Well, I'll fix that." Tasha's light voice had a flirty ring to it, and I responded with an equally light, "I'd like to see you try."
Once we'd reached the school again I put the car in park before undoing my seatbelt and getting out to open the door for Tasha.
"Thanks," she told me. I carried her bags as we walked to her accommodations.
"Hey, Dimka, I wasn't joking about us doing this again." Her arm was linked in mine, and I stopped talking about a game of pool I'd played years ago, at her request for the story.
"And we can, sometime. I'd have to check with the schedule at the school, and with Lisa of course."
"Maybe not." I glanced at her with surprise, her usual smile and teasing expression gone. "I've been thinking, since Rose was talking in the cabin. I've been fine without a guardian, but an opportunity could come up. We're friends, right?" I frowned at the question. Tasha knew the answer.
"You're one of my oldest friends, Tasha. You know that."
"Well, if I could have a guardian, I want you. You're an amazing guardian, and it would be nice to be with a friend all the time. Plus-" she paused before looking up at me and smiling. We'd stopped at the door to her rooms. "I want children, Dimka, and I don't care if they're Moroi or Dhampir. I want them to be yours. I know it's a lot, taking you from the life you've been planning, but I want to be with you. And if you want to be with me, I think it can work."
"Tasha," I said, but she stopped me by stepping forward and getting on her tip toes. Her lips pressed to mine, taking me by surprise. She didn't notice the lag in my reaction to her kiss, or the troubled expression on my face when we parted. She was smiling gloriously, making me think that she was very pretty.
Then Rose came to mind. Even more beautiful, strong, fierce, Rose, who gave me attitude. She was snarky, was independent, was proud, and sometimes foolish, but she was Rose. And I could see her smiling, see her watching me with those eyes of hers, trying to decide how best to attack me, physically or verbally. I could imagine the feel of her hair, hair that was the pinnacle of soft, shiny, beauty, hair I'd run my fingers through and admired the silken feeling that in the heat of the moment seemed like it would only ever be mine to experience.
Then I realized that this was my out. This was the answer to my problems. It would take me away from Rose, from the temptation of breaking the mentor-student code, the adult-minor law, as well as from the temptation of being with Rose when Lisa should be our priorities.
"Just think about it," Tasha said, light and seriousness mixing for once, before she opened the door and slipped inside.
"Since Rose was talking in the cabin." Rose would kill Tasha if she new she'd been the inspiration of this plan.
