This is Where I Leave You
The arrow shot right into my hand where Peeta drew the X before I can react to what was happening. Everyone moves so fast. Peeta slams against me and I shout a cry of anguish. Katniss dives forward and saves Peeta from tumbling down with me, while I fall off the Cornucopia and over to my doom with the mutts. In an odd way, everything around me begins to slow down. A blur distorts the scenery of the arena.
This is it. In these Games, is where I am going to die.
I impact the ground as hard as a rock. My armor did protect my body, but I still have the wind knocked out of me. Instantly, I can tell it has become a little harder for me to breathe. Specs of dust flutter all around me as I lie on my back from the crash, only clouding my vision partially. Then I hear the growls and the paws moving swiftly across the ground. And that is when the mutts come in for the kill.
For a second I think, Why not let them tear me up now? The Capitol would like a nice gruesome death to show the audience to end the Games. I just hope Amber doesn't watch. She deserves better than to watch that. Turn your head away, please.
Amber. My girl at District 2. The one I wanted to wake up next to everyday of my life. That girl whose lips made me fly. The girl who has driven me to victory in this arena. Her light brown hair and dazzling green eyes brought me to another world whenever I saw them - a world of our own. No one else can do that to me. I guess it was just unfortunate that thinking I'd be safe from the Hunger Games, I got the courage to propose to her a little too late. And that ring that was supposed to mark our love for each other lies in my closet, untouched. But this is for her. I get up on my feet prepared to fight. I'm fighting for you, baby.
I pull out two blood-stained knives swiftly from under my shirt, one in each hand, and fight the mutts head on. I throw slashes in every direction while jumping, rolling, and ducking. Where ever I turn, I see razor sharp teeth, huge claws, growls of fury, blood splatter, sparks from colliding knives and the Cornucopia, and death staring in my direction.
Trying to maneuver a plan to save myself, my rage builds. My anger isn't directed at the mutts, the other tributes, or even Katniss and Peeta for that matter. It is only directed towards the Capitol. Those things that pit us against one another, and the things that have created these mutts to kill me. I killed the tributes, but I only wanted to get home. I wanted to get home to my family, my parents and two young brothers, Blake and Gale. I want to get home to her. The people I love are fleeing my grasp. I can't focus on that now though, not in the middle of life or death combat.
One mutt bites the lower part of my left arm, but I am still able to fight with the knife. Then a thought hits me. If I could just get back up to the Cornucopia where Katniss and Peeta are, I could live. But would they even let me live? I move around in small strides to the back of the tail, but all hope seems to be fading. The world gets darker with every claw, bite, and snarl. A mutt bites my left leg and I almost fall to my knees. I stab the mutt through the mouth savagely and watch it fall to the ground, lifeless. As I pull out the knife, another mutt tries to pounce on me from behind, but I turn and throw the same knife right into his chest where its heart is. That mutt also falls to the ground. I almost feel I could win against these monsters, until I realize my body armor is fading away after being battle torn. Fighting is taking its toll, and I spend another good half hour giving it my all to survive. I'm extremely outnumbered here.
May the odds be ever in your favor. Right?
I collapse to the ground on my chest. A smaller mutt has bitten severely deep into my right leg. I feel the blood pour instantly. Tears come to my eyes because of the pain, and because I think of all the times with my family. The one time I wrestled with Blake and Gale in the river. When my parents took me into their arms when I told them I was going to ask Amber to marry me, and that one night when Amber and I stared at the stars on a hill, and I realized I loved her. This is my life flashing before my eyes. I begin to weep so much that tears soak up the ground I am destined to die on.
Blood rushes like a waterfall out my wounds. The bites and claws of the mutts bring agonizing pain. I don't want to die like this, but it won't last long. These mutts are too aggressive to kill me patiently – even with the armor, it won't take long. But then a minute feels like an hour, and the pain is too much to bear. They won't kill me quickly. The audience wants a gruesome finish, or at least the Capitol audience does. Look away, mom and dad, Amber, Blake and Gale; look away. I love you guys. Don't forget that. As if they can hear me right now.
The mutts drag me into the Cornucopia by their teeth. Even though I know it's no use, I try grabbing the ground with my fingernails as an attempt to resist the mutts' strength. That only adds to the all ready unbearable pain. As I enter the Cornucopia, I'm exhausted. My body is torn up and I can't move a muscle anymore. I'm panting, and the chances of living this experience are slim. Dying where the blood bath all began, I think.
Forever. That is what it feels like with this torture. Time doesn't move fast enough. How come in the happiest moments of our life, time seems to slip by? The parts in our life we want to keep hold of want to leave us. And in our darkest hour, the clock doesn't chime, and the sun seems to never rise. Just stop this agony all ready, please. I'm begging in my mind to no one. Stop. Just kill me all ready. Please.
Night time has fallen. I can't help but scream because of the toll on my body. My armor is completely gone. The mutts tore it away like scrap metal. In this darkness, I can only see Amber's face. I have tried my hardest to not let go of her, but my mind is losing focus. Nightmares are becoming reality, like one I have had of me losing everyone I care about in the arena. I'm definitely not in a nightmare right now. This is reality. And reality is a horrifying thing.
Hours pass, I'm sure of it, and I don't even think my body looks like me anymore - maybe raw meat at best. Pain… I don't have words to describe this amount of pain I am feeling. I can still feel the claws digging into me and the teeth biting my skin. They've moved up towards my face now. The screams from my mouth only amplify with every tear and rip from the mutts. Yelling and pleading has now become an involuntary action for me.
How are Peeta and Katniss letting me die right now? The faster I die the faster they can get home, right? Have I been any crueler than others during the Games to bring myself this torture? I only wanted to get home. This isn't a sport for me, killing human beings. I am no Career tribute. That was a ploy to win or gain the others' trust. These are lives that shouldn't be treated lightly, and I'm overwhelmed with remorse at the sadness I have caused on friends, family, and lovers of the tributes I have taken from them.
Later, the sun comes up. A glare shines off metal in the Cornucopia and glints in my eyes. There's light in the darkness. Hope. My mind refuses to concentrate on the state my body is in, and I try focusing on hope. I drift off to a wedding. Amber and I. The wedding would not be a signed paper, but a ceremony. A nice suit for me and a beautiful emerald dress for Amber. Her eyes would shine even brighter with the gown. She would light up the world without trying; she always does. After our marriage, we would live in a Victor's house. With a daughter and a son, the two kids we have talked about having. Their names were Storm for our little girl, and Wreck for our son. We had it all planned out. Now, it's all gone, vanishing with every bit of life taken from me.
My thoughts then drift off to the night where Amber and I stared at the stars. It was a warm, summer night when we sat on the hill in silence. I leaned over and kissed her lips as gently as I could, and took the moment in for all it was. It was enchanting. I stood up slowly after the kiss and held my hand out to her saying, "I love you."
Grabbing my hand and pulling herself up, she leans in whispers, "I love you too." We hug as tight as we both can. I don't want to let go of this moment. Then all of a sudden, Amber laughs and brings me down to the ground. We start wrestling and laughing so hard that we can't breathe. I smiled so much that night, it actually hurt. What I would give to feel that way right now.
I catch Amber's eyes while rolling around with her and think to myself, "She's beautiful."
When we settle down again, she's lying on my chest, and I have one of my arms wrapped around her and one resting behind my head. "Why, don't we sleep under the stars tonight? Forget the world and what is going on in Panem. It's better than what we have now," she suggests.
I dwell on this thought for a moment.
"Please?"
The way she said that word, the way I can see our future in her eyes, made me want to spend forever with her. This is the girl my life belongs to. That night, we did forget the world, and we slept under the stars like lovers do.
I'm losing Amber. I'm losing my family. I wish I could talk to all of them one more time and say, "I love you all, so much." I come back into reality. Uncontrollably, I am crying and screaming. The mutts are still tearing me limb by limb. I'm stuck on the thought of Amber though. Tears streaming down my face, I'm mouthing her last words in my heart at the moment, so I can die with her in my memory, "Please."
Then without warning, I see an arrow launch towards my head.
