Thinking of War
He had seen too much. Too much, too many times, over and over again.
He had seen war.
He had seen merciless invasions.
He had seen battles. So many battles.
He had seen Gallifrey, destroyed by his own hand.
He had seen too much.
Just then, Amy Pond strode it. She opened her mouth to say something, but closed it when she saw the Doctor's expression.
Caught off guard, he sat there for a moment before springing up and headed for the door, acting as if nothing had happened.
"Right then, to the console room!" He exclaimed.
Amy got to the door first, though, and blocked his way.
"Oh no, Doctor. Something was bothering you, and I want to know what."
He looked at her for a moment, the grin that had appeared fading.
Sitting back down, he said, "I was thinking about the Time War."
She took the chair next to his.
"Amy, do you know who destroyed Gallifrey?" The Doctor asked.
Mutely, she shook her head.
"I did, Amelia Pond. I destroyed my own planet."
She remained silent for a moment.
"Why?" The word was uncharacteristically soft.
Looking anywhere but at his companion, he replied, "To stop the Daleks."
"You didn't enjoy it, did you?" She asked, her voice still softer than normal.
Incredulous, he finally looked at her. "How could I enjoy something like that? Murdering every last person on a planet, people I knew?"
"And you feel guilty about it?" She wanted to know next.
"Of course I feel guilty about it, I blew up a planet! My own planet!" He exclaimed.
"Then you're still a good man, you still have a conscience, and you're most certainly not a murderer." This time her voice was back to normal.
He looked at her again.
"Now we can go to the console room. I was getting bored."
The Doctor stared after her for a moment, a small smile spreading across his face.
"Come on, Doctor! I'm not River, I can't fly the TARDIS!" Amy's impatient voice called loudly from the corridor.
He stood once again and followed her, the small smile becoming one of his full-blown manic grins.
Yes, he had seen too much.
But not all of it was war and death. A lot of it was good.
