Even Until Eternity
A one-shot dedicated to DGM, KanLena
MindyMesmerized
She felt sick, very sick. Their hands were running up and down her body – measuring, calculating, examining
She felt alone, very alone. They had robbed her of her one and only precious person left in the world. He was the only one who cared for her, the only one who truly loved her. So why did they have to destroy even that little glimmer of hope? Nii-san…
She felt trapped, like a prisoner. Her hands and feet were tightly bound to the cold, metal bed.
Innocence.
Was that the thing they said was in her body? Was that why she was an "experiment subject"? A bitter laugh escaped her lips.
"I don't want it." A mere whisper. "I DON'T FREAKING WANT IT!" She whipped her head around, in a seemingly crazy manner. Her long, neglected black hair was flying around in an utter mess.
Immediately, the cold, ill-meaning hands pressed down on her limbs. "Call Rouvelier, and make this stupid animal shut the hell up for goodness sake." An order was shouted across the room.
Rouvelier. That name instantly rose fear in her little heart. She had witnessed him torturing, forcing the "Innocence" that they claimed she had into other guiltless people. The pain on their faces, the cries of desperation were so frightening, she had to try to escape from this horrible place – away from everything.
Save me, please.
"Kanda… Help me…" Strained, pained eyes stared into his, pleading.
But what could he do? He had watched hundreds of his Clan members die in the past week. It was hopeless. This was hopeless. Fuck. Fuck all this experiment shit. "Riku, I—" He didn't even get to finish before the boy let out a shrill scream, and took his last break. "…Tch." Kanda had long given up hope on that word called "love". Unless "love" meant being sold as an "experiment subject" by his very own parents. Unless "love" meant being forced to undergo 12 hours of intense pain and torture every- single- day.
Innocence.
Was that the thing they said they wanted to force into me? Was that the thing that destroyed all of our futures in just one second?
Tch.
Damn it.
They had given her sleep-inducing poison. It wasn't even an anesthetics – it was poison. Just proved how much they didn't care about her life. She was pretty sure that all of them didn't care about any human.
The usual straps used to bind her to the bed were replaced with metal handcuffs. Metal handcuffs with spikes on them. It was their way of controlling "naughty children", just because she had attempted to escape numerous times. She wondered if she was really going to lose her mind at this rate.
Then again, did it really matter? She had nothing to lose other than her sanity. She couldn't even remember her name. It was redundant, there was no use in having one anyway. Here, they just labeled them by numbers. So her name just faded into nonexistence.
"Now dear, this is going to hurt a lot. So be prepared, alright? It's just a generous reward for causing us so much trouble for the past few years – trying stupidly to escape. Be careful not to move too much, though, don't want to get puncture holes in your hands and legs." She remained emotionless at his menacing words – her expression completely blank. All she saw was a sadistic smile before something sharp pierced her skin, unbearable pain causing her consciousness to fade in and out. Pain… is something she would eventually get used to. Then, an endless pit of deep, ominous black…
Another horrible scream echoed throughout the room. That was the 8th one today. Many of them were already too weak to even stand up properly – they had no choice but to succumb to inviting death.
The bloody pain shot through his body once again, paralyzing each spot it touched. The pain was almost unbearable, but he didn't even flinch. He wasn't going to show it, he would rather die than do so. Tch. He wasn't going to give up just like that. Giving up would mean letting those messed-up "scientists" win. Giving up would mean just fading into nonexistence.
I'm never going to die just because of this.
That was the last thought that surfaced in his mind before endless darkness engulfed him.
She would never forget that day. Because that was the day that her life had changed.
"Lenalee… Nii-chan's back." The boy's earnest, most endearing smile dawned on her like a breath of fresh air. Recognition was instant – because this had been the face that she had been almost crazily yearning to see since… since forever ago. She remembered everything now, how could she even have forgotten in the first place? Her name was Lenalee, she was born in China, her favourite person in the world was her brother, she adored her black hair… A flood of emotions were nearly exploding in her heart as she started bawling right then and right there.
"Komui nii-chan!" He wrapped her in a tight, warm embrace as streaks of fresh tears flowed down the contours of her abused face. "Don't ever, ever leave my side."
The next few days, he thought were an impossible dream.
He had never ever thought about even getting to see the daylight once again, about getting to have his own will in deciding whatever he wanted to do. He never experienced freedom like this before.
"Congratulations, Kanda-kun. The Innocence has successfully been accepted by your body. You are officially the first Second Exorcist ever." The scientist that was torturing him just yesterday was ironically beaming, though it was probably just a fake smile worn on his plastic face. "Do you have anything you would require us to do? Otherwise, you will immediately start your training for future missions."
Those words took awhile to settle in – even for someone who had went through so much pain he was practically numb and uncaring towards anything.
After he had finally been released out of that lightless prison, he was put under the charge of someone who looked as if he was in his early twenties, by the name of Komui. He was your typical carefree and cheerful guy, who seemed as if he had no worries in the world at all. But Kanda didn't believe that such people could really exist – no one could ever live life without experiencing any obstacles, without going through tough times. But every day without fail, he would see that petite girl hiding behind his back, clutching his white cloak tightly with fearful, but endearing black eyes. She looked absolutely terrified of everyone and anything else.
But Kanda saw the fear in her eyes that once resembled his – the fear in which he had experienced every single day when his clan was just forced by Rouvelier to undergo those unethical experiments. That had eventually formed that façade of him, a façade of a strong heart, one which did not show any emotion under any circumstance. He couldn't deny that there were times when a distant scream would trigger a flow of horrid memories. Those were the times that he felt the most helpless.
He understood her feelings. Because he had been there before.
"Kanda-kun, I'm sorry that you have to have such a huge responsibility even though you're a kid." Komui smiled at him and ruffled his now shoulder-length hair despite several warnings that Kanda would 'chop off his head if he ever dared to do it again'.
"Oi, haven't I told you before that I hate anyone touching me, and moreover, touching my hair. And I'm not a kid! I just—" A gentle tug on his shirt drew his attention.
"Kanda-nii, Komui-nii, would you like a c-cup of coffee…?"' Lenalee shyly glanced up at him and raised a bear-printed cup with coffee towards him. Kanda sighed at her and took her cup wordlessly, nodding at her and proceeding to take a sip at it.
"Lenalee's coffee is really good isn't it? My darling little sister has mastered how to make a perfect cup of coffee at such a tender age just because of me! I feel so honoured. I LOVE YOU LENALEEEEEE." He proceeded to hug his little sister so tightly it looked as if she couldn't breathe. "HOW DO YOU FIND HER COFFEE? PERFECT RIGHT?" He excitedly nudged Kanda.
Kanda rolled his eyes and simply refused to comment on that at all until he saw Lenalee's gleaming, tearful black eyes that threatened to overflow if he didn't do something soon.
"It's… it's good." The blush on his face was too obvious to be ignored as Komui continued to tease him for the rest of the week.
Kanda wiped the sweat off his forehead, just returning from a difficult mission. He swiftly walked towards the supervisor's room, with many people greeting him cheerfully as he walked past. Everyone had grown closer to each other ever since Komui took over, and even though he hated to admit it, even he did. He irritably pushed opened the heavy doors and barged into the room.
Komui's expression was serious as he bent down and looked at the seven-year-old girl with worried eyes. "Lenalee… Nii-chan has to go off for a trip to the base in Asia for a week. I can't take you with me because it's too dangerous… would you—"
"Okay." That straightforward, brave reply caused both of them to glance at her. "Go, Nii-san. Please take care of yourself. I will be waiting for you." The innocent, pure smile on her face touched the hearts of both of them, as with her sincere well wishes.
"I got it, Lenalee. I'll come back as soon as I can, alright?" He gave another tight squeeze before resting his hand on Kanda's shoulder, "Take care of Lenalee for me."
That very night, he was woken up by the frightened sobs and incessant tugging of Lenalee. "Kanda-nii… I'm afraid. I dreamt of Rouvelier again. The times of those horrible things he did and everything else… they just…" her grip on Kanda's hand was dead-tight, exacerbating the situation of her trembling hands.
Kanda looked at her for a minute, but scooped her up into his bed wordlessly, covering the blanket over both of them and stroking her head. Nothing needed to be said between them as Lenalee buried her head in his embrace and fell asleep quietly. He spent the night looking at the stars from the windows of his room, a subtle smile worn on his face as he occasionally glanced down to check on the soundly sleeping Lenalee.
If he was ever going to let his guard down, then it would only be for Lenalee.
Because he understood her feelings, and he was willing to share this pain with her.
"Rouvelier's back again… for me." Was all she managed to utter after running to find him, her eyes furtively darting around, anxious. "Tch." He was here again. That sick bastard. "You. Follow me." He said as he grabbed her hand, running out of the building towards that quiet field he still frequently visited. She stumbled after him, shocked and confused, but still driven by the fear that she had to escape from the fearful person.
He let out another long sigh as he slowly laid his head down onto the fresh grass. "Now he won't know where to find you." The corners of his lips seemed to turn slightly up as he said so. "Even if he did manage to find this place, I would rather die than let him touch you, baka." Lenalee watched in wonder as the little dandelions on the field were blown in the breeze. How could she have not known of this place after being here for so long? "Kanda, I…"
"Shh." He retorted, eyes still closed, "don't destroy my momentarily peaceful state of mind, baka." An annoyed look was worn on his face once again. Lenalee thought that his face must've always been locked in that permanent, tense frown.
She took a spot beside him and laid down too, turning to face him and studying the pattern of his overlapping eyelashes. "Ne, Kanda, I…"
"What is it this time?" He said, exasperated and opening his eyes, staring at her.
"Nothing. Just thank you. Thank you for everything."
"Tch." was the one-syllable reply as he turned away from her, a smile finally showing on his face. Because it was only her that could make him so at ease.
And he remembered the days when she would shout at him for being so careless during a mission. He would come back to the headquarters with a bloody head, a bloody hand, and practically bloody everywhere else. And then he would brush it off by saying, "Tch. It's nothing, baka. Just leave me alone."
"I can't leave you alone. How can I when you're my pillar of support when I was down and afraid, my best friend when I needed a shoulder to cry on? Kanda no baka. Baka baka baka baka baka—"
He would always cut her off by gently pressing her head against his chest, even if it was bloody. "I'm sorry."
Because it was only her that could make him feel guilty about getting himself hurt.
"Kanda-kun, Lenalee, this mission will be highly dangerous. Please take extra care. I'm sorry I have to force you to do this again, mission after mission. Sometimes I wish I could just—"
"It's okay. Nii-chan. We understand. Let's go, Kanda." She smiled as she confidently walked out of the room, her resolve to come back safely and soundly firmly set.
And that was why when the Akuma's attack was just about to hit her, he stood in front of her without second thought, the attack hitting him like solid concrete. But it didn't matter to him that blood was practically spilling out of his mouth as he swung Mugen towards it and dealt the final blow.
"Why did you do that, you baka?" Lenalee cried and gripped his hand tightly, just as she did before. "You didn't have to save me… you didn't have to hurt yourself…" He was lying in the emergency area, with machines beeping all around him, but that didn't stop him from retorting her questions as usual, even though she didn't even know he was conscious.
"Tch. Isn't that obvious? That over-reacting brother of yours will kill me if he ever let me lose you when you were by my side. You have a home to return to. He needs you. So don't be so reckless." He raised his weak hand to pat her head once again.
Lenalee pushed it away. "Who's the one being reckless here? Have you ever thought about my feelings? You have a home to return to too. Even if you don't need me, I need you." She was frustrated at his selfishness – didn't he realize how much she cared for him?
He was frustrated at her foolishness. So, those tears were for him? Those precious tears were shed because of him? He laughed, as he realized the ridiculousness of it all.
So that was what it was after all.
He lifted her chip up gently using his quivering hand, and brushed away the needless tears. Drawing her closer to him, nothing else was spoken as her hands were entwined and bound tightly to his, a soft press of his lips on her forehead.
Because both of them knew, that they would always need each other. Even until eternity.
Authoress' Note
Hello everyone! This is my first DGM story and I simply adore KanLena a lot heehee. Truthfully, it took me a lot of time to write this because it was difficult to write such an emo and sentimental story (: I would really like your feedback on this! 8D
I'm thinking of writing a few more oneshots, or maybe a series of oneshots based on different themes, so you guys could give me some suggestions! :D
Yup so please read & review 'coz if you don't read you can't review, and if you don't review I'll be so depressed and lose the motivation to write! )':
I sincerely hope that you enjoyed the story and that you would R&R! ((:
