So I have been on a REALLY long hiatus, which was mostly due to me forgetting what my email and password were for this username! (Seriously, it took me like ten trys!) Anyway, I was just minding my own business sleeping when suddenly my brain was attacked by ravinous plot bunnies. So just for you guys, between the hours of midnight and 4 a.m. I wrote this one-shot. I hope it's original cause I haven't seen anything like this yet. Enjoy and don't forget to leave some constructive critisism at the end!
Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim. It's as simple as that.
You Thought Wrong
Skool was normal that day, ignoring the fact that it was ketchup-and-rice day and Zim announced his plans to annihilate the human race three times in just the first hour of class and Dib did absolutely nothing. The whole days Zim watched skeptically as his large-headed rival seemed lost in thought only to grin, almost maniacally, at uneven intervals. Maybe he was what all the other pig-smellies said he was: crazy, insane... the list could go on. One adult dir-worm even said he was "off his rocker," but what a rocking chair had to dow with Dib-stink's sanity, Zim had no clue.
Though Zim had been studing his couterpart's unusual behavior for most of the Skool day, it did not mean he had a clue of what it meant. When it came to human psychology, Ziim could have cared less. On the other hand, maybe if the Irken had studies his host planet's species more thoroghly, he would have seen the event coming, but like usual, Zim was caught completely off-guard. The alien had been working on updates for his Voot Cruiser when an unfamiliar sound filled his base. Said alien looked up in confusion.
"Hm... Computer, analyze!"
"It's a doorbell," The computer responded with a bored tone. Zim stood there, eyes set in a confused manner, antennae half at attention. The computer sighed, "It means someone's at the door," it supplied, a "duh" sound implied after the statement.
"ZIM knew that!" The Irken replied automatically, glaring, at the screen across from him. He began rushing towards the elevator platform, anxious to see who would try to "infiltrate" his superior base. "Have the defensive system on stand-by when I reach the main floor," Zim commanded and a slight click and beep where his answers.
As soon as Zi exited the trash can, he took notice of his infamous, incompetent SIR unit watching th TV upside down from the couch. "Hiya Mastah!" Everything went quiet, aside from the TV, for a few seconds. "I love this show..."
Zim's left eye and corresponding antenna twitched in slight annoyance. "GIR! Leave this room IMMEDIATELY! I command YOU!" He shouted, putting odd emphasis onn random words. The robot's single antenna fell in sadness.
"Aww..." The sadness quickly disapated as GIR noticed the rubber piggy beside him. Flipping himself upright, he grabbed the poor unfortunate soul and skipped away. "Let's go to my room pig!" Suddenly the "doorbell," as his computer called it, rang again and Zim's annoyance grew to irritation.
"ZIM is COMING, you filthy dirt-filth!" Stomping over to the door, he yanked it open, shouting out a "what?" Only his irritation faltered slightly when he saw who was on the other side. "What do you want with Zim, Dib-human?"
The boy in front of him seemed to wring his hands nervously before looking up to answer. "Can-can I come in? Just to talk, I promise." Zim had to admit that Dib looked a little lost, if not upset.
The Irken stepped to the side and allowed the human to enter. Dib sat himself on the couch while Zim observed his from the same spot, standing at attention, always alert. "Why are you not acting like Dib, Dib-human? Tell Zim NOW!" He added with force.
"Well I've always kind of known this, but I'm really different from other people. I mean-" Zim interrupted him with a quick waving of his arms.
"Zim did not ask about your feelings, worm-baby!"
Dib folded his arms across his chest. "Okay, I'll get to the point. I want to help you in taking over the Earth."
Zim was surprised to say the least, but quickly recovered and glared at the boy. "I don't need your foolish help, filthy human. Invaders need NO ONE!" The Invader turned away from him arrougantly.
Dib stood up. "See, that's the thing. I just want revenge on all those people... Gaz, Dad, the kids at Skool... Just let me have a couple hits. All the credit goes to you no matter what. No one has to know about me."
"Hm..." Zim put a claw to his chin in thought, tapping it occasionally. "I suppose that could work..."
A large grin, somewhat feral-looking, spread across Dib's face. "Great, I know just how to get started!" Before Zim could voice his protest, Dib stated in a commanding tone, "Fly!" and the Irken Invader found himself bound with metallic wire and some kind of "cap" placed over his PAK. In front of him a red-eyed SIR unit, an exact replica of GIR in duty mode, stared hi down.
"Dib-stink! What is the meaning of this?" Zim struggled, but the wire was too strong and whatever was covering his PAK deactivated its weapons.
"Only something I've been waiting to do for a long time now." He walked over to the struggling alien and motioned to the red-eyed SIR. "Zim, I'd like you to meet Fly, my SIR unit."
"Yours?"
"Yes-"
"Yours?"
"Ye-"
"Yours?"
"YES, SHE IS MINE!" Dib took a couple deep breaths to calm himself before he killed the annoying little alien prematurely.
"How did the Dib-stink com to have a SIR?" Zim asked skeptically, flinching slightly under the SIR's unnerving stare.
Dib clapsed his hands behind his back and faced towards the couch. "You will find out soon enough Zim. Fly, if you would please." He motioned towards the green monkey picture above the couch. Without lifting a metal limb, Fly had hacked into Zim's base and the green monkey picture lifted away to reveal a screen. "Thank you, Fly. Now go restrain Zim's idiotic SIR." The robot saluted before disappearing from the room.
Dib walked towards the struggling Irken, grinning slight. "You know Zim, I would have thought you would have caught on a long time ago, but I guess I underestimated your incompetence. Especially when Tak stopped by for a visit, surely that would have gotten you to thinking, but no, you remained clueless as ever."
Zim's expression showed one of confusion. "What are you talking about Dib-stink?"
The boy let out a small chuckle and turned towards the archway as Fly entered with a deactivated GIR. Dropping the useless robot unceremoniously to the ground, she turned to her master. Dib game Zim a glance, "This is where the fun begins. Fly, contact the Massive."
Zim's eyes seemed to bug out more than usual. "The MASSIVE? What do you think you're doing, hu-" His rant was cut short as his leaders appeared on the screen.
Dib gave them both an Irken salute and Zim balked. "Greetings my Tallest."
Red grinned in recognition, but Purple looked on in confused skeptisism. "Who are you?" Red elbowed him as soon as he finished the question. "Hey!"
Dib waved his hand dismissively. "It's okay, Tallest Red. I'm sure Zim here is wondering the same thing."
Then, right before Zim's eyes, Dib's form blurred until a different creature was left in his place; an Irken. This Irken was quite tall and had pale green skin, royal blue eyes, and a royal blue Invader's outfit to match. His antennae cut up and then quirked with a lightening bolt shape and his mouth revealed two rows of zipper-like teeth.
Purple's eyes lit up in recognition. "Ah, Invader Dib, how nice it is to see you!"
"You're Irken! How is this possible? You-you..." Zim trailed off, unsure of waht to say for the first time in his life.
"Put up a pretty good act, didn't I, Zim?"
"B-but HOW?" zim glared at the other Invader. "How could YOU have POSSIBLY fooled the ALMIGHTY ZIM?"
"Glad you asked. You see, back during Operation Impending Doom I, I was sent to this measly little planet to conquer it in a few days, then return to the Empire for another assigment."
On the screen, Red elbowed Purple again, this time eating something that resembled popcorn. "This is gonna be good..."
"Though only a few hours later did I learn of two misfortunes: the humans were more evolved than I predicted, and you destroying most of Irk pretty much leaving me stranded here!" Dib clenched his clawed hands into tight fists. "So, I came up with a disguise and false life to blend in, slowly bending the Earth to my will. Then it was only a few years later I find you in my Skool! Contacting the Tallest I found out it was all a mistake; the planet they told you about was nonexistent and you were suppose to die, lost in space." Dib paused briefly, looking over at Zim's stunned face.
Zim's mind struggled visivly to comprehend everything he was just told, his forehead creasing deeply. "How could you manage to have pulled that off?"
"Face it Zim, I'm a better Invader than you will ever be! But I gues I can grace you with the steps to my successful disguise. The easiest part was getting everyone to hate me, make them think I was insane, obsessed witht he very thing I am. In the end, who would ever suspect the crazy kid? That's right, no one." Dib began pacing as he continued, "'Dad' and 'Gaz' were easy enough, simple, interactive holograms. Did you ever notice they weren't around much? I gave them personalities that allowed them to be separate from others; Dad the workoholic and Gaz, the scary anti-social little sister.
"As you know, the kids at Skool didn't need any help. They ate up every little act I gave them. A couple years passed by and everyone remained oblivious to the alien right under their noses. I'll admit, when you first showed up, I was somewhat on edge, but after all your failed attempts and society's stupidity remained, I continued working on my plans for world domination and a little something else on the side..." Dib finally stopped his pacing, to everyone's relief and faced Zim head on.
"Ooh, ooh! Tell him what happens next!" Purple shouted excitedly, impatiently from his end of the broadcast. Zim jumped at the noise, having forgotten the Tallest were still on the screen.
Dib glared slightly in Purple's direction, muttering something in Irken under his breath, before continuing. "It was then the Tallest requested another job of me. Did you know that bounty hunting is a hobby of mine, Zim?" The blue-eyed Irken said ever so innocently while giving him the famous feral zipper smile.
Zim, defiant as ever, glared back, sneering. "You cannot do this to Zim! I will not allow it!"
Dib let out a slightly crazed laugh. "Oh, you won't allow it? We'll see about that." Walking closer to Zim, the Irken Invader smirked. "In fact, we'll see about it now."
"I-I thought..." Dib's face twisted into a cruel smile and he paused in his advance.
"Well Zim, you thought wrong."
Thank you so much for reading an please do leave a constructive review as they do help improve my writing! Also, let me know if there are any sentence/spelling/etc. errors! Thanks again!
Luna
